


Fish out of water

by nishiki



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Attempted Murder, Awkward First Times, Big Bro Butch, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fish Mooney being a mom, Foster Care, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Injury Recovery, M/M, Murder Mystery, Nygmobblepot, One-Sided Oswald Cobblepot/Jim Gordon, Oswald is crushing hard on Jim, Other Relationships to Be Added - Freeform, Swimming, Teen Angst, Teen Barbara, Teen Butch, Teen Edward, Teen Jeremiah, Teen Jerome, Teen Jim, Teen Lee, Teen Romance, Teenage Drama, Underage Sex, ed's father is a dick, edward is crushing hard on Oswald, foster mom Fish, minor Jim/Barbara, minor Jim/Lee, nygmobblepot endgame, one-sided Gobblepot, orphan Butch, orphan Oswald, porn in chapter 19, supportive Butch Gilzean, supportive Fish Mooney, supportive friends, teen Oswald, this turned into a nancy drew story half way through
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-07-07 09:42:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 142,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15905763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: When Oswald Cobblepot first saw Jim Gordon at the pool, he was lost. Years later, in the midst of his already awful high school experience, Oswald finds himself orphaned after a tragic accident and in the care of one Fish Mooney. However, as his path crosses that of Jim Gordon once more, Oswald decides that he will go after what he wanted from the start - with the help of a new friend.-In summary: The story where Ed Nygma tries to help Oswald get into Jim's pants only to realize that he wants Oswald for himself.





	1. Prolog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will probably be a bit slow this time around xD

Jim Gordon. The first time he had seen Jim Gordon was when his mother had signed him up for a swimming class at the baths in their district of town despite his constant protest about how embarrassing that would be for him if someone from school would see him there. His resistance had melted away the moment he had first spotted Jim on the side of the pool on top of his little guard tower overlooking the pool.

Oswald had been fifteen at the time, a scrawny little thing with no friends and no hope that this would change as soon as he would start high school at the end of that summer. Jim had been sixteen years old and the perfect image of masculinity in his red trunks and the whistle around his neck. It had been nothing more than a summer job for Jim, yet it had changed Oswald’s life forever without him even knowing it. Needless to say, he had been exactly right in that assessment back in the day because joining high school had only brought him more troubles and more hardships than he had ever faced before.

However, at least he had had Jim Gordon on his guard tower overlooking the pool. Watching out for him. And that was something no one could ever take away from him. His fantasies would stay with him forever. Dreams in which Jim Gordon knew his name - knew that he existed in the same universe as he did.

Sadly, the world kept turning, the sand of time kept running through his fingers and Oswald Cobblepot knew that he would not forever have Jim Gordon watching over him from that guard tower.

 

**-End of Chapter 1-**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think, it means the world to me <3


	2. Chapter 2

_He was drowning. Above his head, the waves were crashing together unrelenting, unforgiving. A wall between him and the clear blue sky. He had grown weak and tired of trying to save himself. His arms were heavy and numb as he desperately tried to breach the waves. The movement of his legs had grown sluggish as they fought against the horrible force that was the ocean as it tried to swallow him whole. His lungs burned with hellfire. He felt like bursting from the inside and freezing from the outside simultaneously. He was being ripped apart by the seams and lulled into sleep by the song of the ocean in his ears._

_There was no hope, just the dark cold waters around him._

_Not even the sunlight could reach him anymore down here. There was nothing here for him. There was no one to catch him, no one who would drag him back to the surface and wrap him in their warm embrace. There was no one who was watching over him from some magical tower in the distance, no knight in shining armor, not even his own mother. He was drowning and there was nothing left. Only the cold, greedy darkness beneath his feet._

Oswald shot awake with a gasp, trying to get as much oxygen in his lungs as possible. He could still taste the salt water filling up his lungs and his mouth and his nose without mercy. He could still hear the crashing of the waves over his head. He could still feel the cold embrace of the icy waters. He was sinking, sinking, sinking.

»Oswald you are running late!« A voice ripped through the storm in his head. The female voice of a siren trying to get his attention and lure him into doom.

School. It was the middle of the week. Wednesday. The middle of the first week of high school after summer break. Gotham Central High School was waiting to swallow him whole, a large beast lurking beneath his feet, a leviathan in the deep of the ocean and he was drowning. For an eternity, Oswald kept staring at the perfectly white painted ceiling. There were no flakes of paint falling on his face from the ceiling because some upstairs neighbor was running around their apartment with stomping feet. He tried to remember the sounds and the smells of his former home before the knocking on his door came for the first time.  

»Oswald, come on!« The siren’s voice came again.

Sunlight was pooling into his room and onto his naked feet as he put them down on the ground gingerly. He was not looking forward to this new day of school - let alone this new year of school. The new semester had started on Monday but Oswald would only today join his classmates again. Yesterday, he had his last appointment with his orthopedist but the bracer still had to stay on. Hell, as if this would change anything.

The look he shot the metal construction that was leaning at the side of his bedside table was one full of fury before he glanced back at his feet. They were good feet. Always had been. Reliable feet. They had carried him wherever he wanted to go. Still, now his right foot was tilted outward at all times and despite all the efforts of his orthopedist, this would never change again. No matter how many screws and bolts and metal plates were in his leg and his ankle and his foot, it would never be the same again. He was stuck like this. His knee was shattered, his ankle beyond repair and his hip healing only slowly and with much agony.

He was still alive, though. Yet, sometimes he wondered if this was actually a good thing.

»Oswald.« The door to his room opened after another set of knocking rapping at his door. This time the voice of the siren addressing him and luring him into his doom, was soft as she peeked inside his room. It felt weird thinking of this room as his. It had no personality. It didn't feel like his. His stuff from his old room was still kept in boxes hidden in his closet as if he still hoped that tomorrow someone would come and take him back home and tell him that his mother was waiting for him in that stuff small apartment with the old timely furniture and the heavy curtains. All of this was gone now. Sold away by their greedy landlord. A whole life … gone.

He knew that this would never happen, though. She was gone. She would never return. He was drowning. »Oswald … Hey…« The voice was too gentle as the intruder opened the door fully and stepped inside without asking for permission. It was her house, why would she ask for permission? He was just a guest. »Is everything alright?«

He desperately wanted to shake his head. Nothing was alright. Nothing would ever be alright again. He was drowning and his mother was gone. Who would be looking out for him now?

Fish Mooney, however, would have none of his attitude as she sat down on the edge of his bed, put a hand on his right cheek and turned his face towards her so that he had to look her in the eyes. Naturally, Fish was not her real name. Maria Mercedes Mooney just preferred to be called by her nickname. A relic from her past, he assumed. He wondered what kind of nickname he would get would he go back to school. In the past, the nicknames he had gotten had not filled him with joy, to say the least. _My little Cobblepot_ , that was the one nickname he preferred. Fish was a pretty lady with her dark skin and her fancy wigs. Today she had opted for the classic pixie cut. It suited her, made her look a lot more motherly than usually. It was all tactic, of course. She probably wanted to drive him to school even though they had not talked about it beforehand.

»Tell me, Little Bird.«

»It's nothing.« Oswald finally straightened his back as he rose from the bed to collect the clothes he had set on his desk chair last night in preparation. Everyone always made fun of his choice of clothing. It was too elegant, too prim and proper. He liked it, though, even if he looked like from a different decade in them. Walking over to his desk chair was a pain in more than one way. His limp was bad and he was still not used to balancing his body the right way not to topple over. How should he survive a day like this in a school like his? Gotham was a city where the weak had no place. This city ate the weak and spat them back out - if they were lucky. This city was the leviathan lurking in the deep.

His mother had been weak.

»You are in pain, I can see that.« Fish sighed and rose as well. She only wanted his best, at least that was how she acted around him. Yet, Oswald had a hard time growing close to her no matter how often she had held his hand over the course of the past months. »Breakfast is ready, take your pills after you ate, okay? And after this, I’ll give you a ride.«

Oswald was seventeen years old. He should have already learned how to drive a car by now. However, looking at his leg, he wondered if he was ever going to learn how to drive a car now. »Don't bother, I can go with Butch.«

»Butch already left the building.« Fish smirked. »Said he needed to do something before class.«

Stealing a glimpse of Tabitha Galavan, presumably. Of course, Oswald was not the only fosterling of Fish Mooney. Her house was not exactly big but she had room enough for a few kids like him and Butch who didn't have anyone else and would be lost without people like her. If it hadn't been for Fish, he would be at the orphanage now … or on the street.

Butch Gilzean was only one year older than him and when he would graduate next summer, he would leave the house. Apparently, Butch had lost his family in a house fire and had lived on the streets for a few months until the police had brought him back to the orphanage and it had been decided that Butch would go into the foster care system. Even though Butch Gilzean was on the same high school as he and had been at the same middle school as well, Oswald had never known that until he had joined him here in this house.

As Oswald later limped down the stairs to the kitchen, he walked past photos of all the kids Fish had helped in the past. She had only ever taken in boys as it seemed and though Oswald didn't know why that was, he refused to ask. Surely, she had her reasons for doing this and he would not want to intrude on her privacy. In the neighborhood, some people called this house even _Fish Mooney’s home for lost boys_. Of course, Butch and he were regarded with distrust around the neighborhood. As it was common knowledge, orphans were inherently evil and criminal.

»Why don't you have more kids?« Oswald asked a little while later as they were already in the car and driving through the busy streets of central Gotham. He had always loved the city but sometimes he wished he would live in the suburbs. It would be more peaceful and the people would not stare at him so much. These days he felt like suffocating in the busy streets of Gotham. »I mean … You had more than two at a time, right?«

Fish smirked and she pried her eyes from the street only for a second. »My house was always a buzzing hive of activity, yes. For the most part, I used to have four boys at the same time, ranging from toddlers to teens. It has been fun - and exhausting.« She chuckled. »But you and Butch are my last babies.«

Taken by surprise, Oswald turned his attention from the street and looked at her. He felt uneasy driving in a car but it was necessary and there really was no way around it. »What?« He gasped like a Fish. Oh, the irony. »Why?« Until now, even though he only knew her for a few months, Fish seemed to love her job as a foster mom. »But you are so young still!«

»I am flattered.« Fish laughed. »You know, Oswald, I have raised a bunch of children over the past two decades. Butch was the last one I got when he was still in elementary school. I have seen them all grow up and then leave the nest. Some of them I could help, some of them not. And now I think it's time to try something new. When you and Butch will have left the nest, I am going to start my own business.«

Butch would be gone next year and Oswald would follow the year after that. The thought was weird. »What are you going to do after this?«

»I was thinking about opening up a nightclub.« She snickered. »Butch already offered to work as my bouncer. I still could use a barkeeper.« She winked at him knowingly that Oswald aimed a lot higher in his life than this. It was hard not to after his mother had raised him always telling him that he was meant for greatness. The truth was, though, that Oswald had no idea what he wanted to do after school. College? He had no money for college and he was not exactly book smart. He was intelligent without question, highly so, but he did not have what the colleges were looking for. Maybe college was not the right way to go for him. »I always thought it's best to stop things when you are at your peak, right? Better go out with a boom. I don't want to see the day when CPS is not sending me boys anymore because I have become a grumpy old lady.«

Maybe it made sense in a way but Oswald was not quite ready to accept it like this. He wondered why he cared so much. It didn't make any sense. As they reached the school and Fish pulled over to let him out, she gently grabbed him by the arm to stop him first. »I wanted to tell you something, Oz.« She then said. »I had a bit of time to think about your situation and I decided to sign you up for a swim course after school.«

»What?«

»I talked to your doctor about it and he said it might be good for your healing process. You know, take the strain off your leg and still be able to work out to strengthen your muscles.«

»I am not a fan of the idea.« Oswald found himself frowning. He did not wish to bite the hand that fed him but he still was not happy with the idea of having to do this all over again. He was not very fond of water anyway - except for when he could soak in the bathtub for hours while driving poor Butch Gilzean insane with this habit.

»Well, too bad, Darling. The course starts this afternoon. I pick you up and drive you there.«

There was no argument. Oswald knew that Fish would not accept no as an answer. She had already decided what would happen from now on and Oswald had no other choice but to follow her lead. It was the least he could do after she had taken him in and cared for him after the accident. He had always been obedient to his mother and just because she wasn't with him anymore … She would have wanted him to demonstrate the same kind of respect for Fish. Yet, he was not exactly looking forward to this afternoon.

He hadn't been at the community pool for a few years now, ever since he had finally learned how to swim. An experience he had made much later in his life than everyone around him. As a child, he had been picked on because he couldn't swim but his mother had never liked the idea of her precious son surrounded by deep water. It was not just the fact that he was very uncomfortable being in a state of undress in front of total strangers but just thinking about having his destroyed leg out in the open for everyone to see … Worse enough that the other students were looking at him funnily as he was slowly entering the school, his backpack flung over his left shoulder and his weight resting on the crutch in his right. The bracer bit through the fabric of his pants into the skin of his leg but it made moving a bit less painful for the moment, albeit not less stiff.

Maneuvering the seemingly endless maze of hallways like this was not easy. Gotham Central High was just as the rest of this wicked town. The students were cruel and lived off the suffering of others. It was as easy as that, really. His perception of reality might be shaped by the bad experiences he had in the past. For others high school might only be half as bad as for him but since he could only speak for himself how in the world would he know?

Matter of fact was, he didn't care how others experienced high school. To Oswald, all of this was nothing more than running the gauntlet. A constant, daily vexatiousness. At least it had been like this before summer break and before his accident. Still, he doubted that it would be any different this year. Why would it? If anything it would get worse, he assumed because now his weakness was openly on display for everyone to see. Before now all the bullies had as ammunition was Oswald’s general otherness, his inability to fit in. The entire school probably knew what happened shortly before the end of the last semester. He was not popular by any means but word of mouth traveled fast in these halls.

He expected that the usual suspects, like Barbara Kean and the other cheerleaders, would attack him in any which way the moment he would reach his locker. However, the first real trial of his first day of school was to juggle his backpack, the locker, the books he needed and his crutch with inevitably failed which ended in a flood of books to hit the linoleum floor. Before he could even try to lean down to pick them up, however, he saw a set of tanned hands appear in the space beneath his open locker door and only as he closed the door did he see who it was picking up his stuff.

»Hey!« Oswald’s heart almost stopped as he was, for once, at the receiving end of Jim Gordon’s brightest smile that made those cute little wrinkles appear around his eyes and his dimples pop. »Oswald, right?« He only managed a sharp nod, surprised that none other than James Worthington Gordon even knew his name. He was Oswald's senior by one year and had a few classes with Butch, as far as he knew. Next year, when Jim would have turned nineteen, Jim was gone from this school and would most probably leave Gotham to start a new life. Still … He knew his name.

Immediately as Jim rose to his feet with Oswald’s books, Oswald extended his free left hand to take them from Jim but the taller blonde boy shook his head gently. »Come on, I help you. Can't be easy with this crutch, right?«

»Oh … Oh, you don't need to … I don't want to be an inconvenience, I can manage just fine.« He immediately shot back at Jim almost in horror. He rather not imagine the torment he would be faced with when someone would see Jim Gordon carry his books. They didn't even know each other! He hadn't even thought that he existed in the same world as Jim Gordon! Until now he had been condemned to a life in the shadows, being allowed glimpses of Jim only from a distance almost as if he would be living in the world behind the looking glass. An observer. Never a participant.

»You are no such thing.« Jim assured with a smile as he shouldered his own backpack and allowed Oswald to lead the way to his first class which he only reluctantly did. »I mean it's the least I could do, right? We are all in the same boat here and my mother always taught me to help those in need.«

He was a real boy scout as it seemed and Oswald was hardly surprised by that realization. Then again, there was still this cynical little voice in his head reminding him to be careful. What if Jim was only nice to him to lure him into safety to then make his life a living hell?  

»That is very kind of you, Jim.«

»Oh, you know my name?« Jim turned towards him with a big smile plastered on his stupidly handsome face as if he was honestly surprised by that fact. »I forgot to introduce myself, sometimes I forget my manners, that's what Barb says anyway.«

»Of course, I know your name…« However, before Jim could realize what Oswald had just said and before Oswald could drown in embarrassment, there was a heavy hand landing on his left shoulder.

»I was looking for you!« Butch's voice was deeper than it had any right to be at his age but his look was concerned as Oswald stopped to look over his shoulder at him before casting a glance at Jim whom Butch regarded only with a nod. »Everything alright?«

»Sure.« The answer came a lot quicker than he wanted it to but Butch was quick to retrieve Oswald’s books from Jim’s hands. »Thanks, Gordon, I’ll take it from here.« Jim seemed confused first, maybe even concerned as to why Butch Gilzean wanted to take care of Oswald Cobblepot all of the sudden. Then again, Butch had been one of the very few people who had not always treated him like complete dogshit.

Whatever Jim was thinking or had on his tongue, he didn't say it. Instead, he only nodded curtly and flashed Oswald another one of his million dollar smiles. »Take care, okay?«

He was gone as quickly as he had appeared before and as Oswald followed him with his eyes, he found Barbara Kean waiting for Jim at the end of the hallway. He could only imagine what she would say to her boyfriend next. Undoubtedly, she had seen to whom Jim had been talking right now.  

»Is everything alright? If he said something funny to you, I can take care of Gordon for you.«

»I am not a damsel in distress, Butch.« Oswald replied rolling his eyes with a small groan. »Just because we live under the same roof now, does not mean you need to play the big brother. You know that right?«

»I know.« Butch sighed with a hint of a smile tugging on his lips. Butch had lost his whole family years ago, including his younger siblings. Unlike Oswald, Butch was not an only child. It seems to be his nature to take care of other people. »I also know that Fish rips my head off if something happens to her _baby bird_ at school. So we both have to just suck it up, okay?«

Just as he knew that there was no point in arguing with Fish at any given time, he also knew that there was no point in arguing with Butch. It was just futile. They were no friends, not exactly at least but they got along well enough, he supposed. It was weird enough that Oswald was now living under the same roof as one of his seniors in school.

The school day went exactly as he had suspected it to go. Of course, people were staring, people were making stupid remarks at his expense but other than this, it was actually very peaceful. The quiet before the storm. It was either that or the other students had heard that Butch Gilzean had declared himself Oswald’s protector.

As the school day drew to a close, Fish was waiting for him outside in her jeep as promised. He limped over to her, leaning on his crutch as quickly as he could so that the other kids did not get enough time to do anything they might regret if Fish would see it. Butch would stay longer for football practice and thus, he would be alone with her for the car ride. It felt odd being picked up after school.

Just as she had promised him to, Fish drove him through town and straight to the baths only a few blocks away from Gotham High. As they arrived there, he felt the sick sinking feeling of recognition weighing him down. Of course, it was the same baths that he had went to back in the day as his mother had forced him to learn how to swim. He remembered how she used to watch him during his lessons and how this had gained him even more ridicule from everyone around him. As much as he loved his mother, as much as he missed his mother, her attire and attitude had not helped his case back in the day.

He was a freak anyway. The fact that his mother was dressed like she came straight out of the Belle Epoque had only added to his own freakishness. And yet, he had loved her and her frilly dresses. He had loved the heavy curtains in front of their huge french windows, loved the carpets and the little lace tablecloths, the smells and the old-fashioned furniture.

At least Fish did not demand to follow him in. She just let him get out of the car with the bag she had packed him and drove off again, trusting that he would actually do as he was told. She put great trust on the fact that Oswald wanted to not disappoint her and pay her the same respect he would pay his real mother. Of course, he could just as well go somewhere else and not give a shit about her as he did in general not give a shit about other people. However, he was acutely aware that the only thing standing between the orphanage and him was Fish. Even more so, the only thing between him and a mountain of debts was Fish. She had paid for all the medical bills he had piled up over the course of the last months after the accident. If it wouldn't have been for her, he would be broke for the rest of his life because Uncle Sam was a bitch and did not care for his kids.

That was maybe the real twisted thing in this country. Sure, everyone could make it in America if they worked hard but on the other end of the spectrum were people like Oswald who had fallen into hardships without fault of their own and the state did nothing to help. It was not his fault that this truck had cut them off in the middle of a rainstorm. It was not his fault that his mother had lost control over her car. Yet, there were still fuckers in this country openly revolting against public healthcare - unable to see the benefits for all. One day, Oswald was sure of that, he would rise above people like this and become something more.

However, before this, he needed to attend this course - or rehab or whatever it was supposed to be. He doubted it would help with his leg and yet he had nothing to lose except for his pride and, if he was being honest, there was not much left of that anyway, right?

As he entered the baths the strong smell of chlorine wafted right into his face and filled his nostrils. The smell was not unpleasant for sure but it brought unpleasant memories of a time when he had been younger and even stupider than he was these days. A lovestruck little fool, unable to tear away his eyes from the guard tower and the young pool attendant. These days, Jim was the captain of the swim team of their school and spent most of his time training, he assumed. At least he could be certain that Jim was not here now to witness Oswald’s efforts.

Inside the changing room, it was stuffy and uncomfortable. Even as a child the thought that someone might peek over the wall of his changing cubicle and see him buck naked had filled him with dread. Even worse that nowadays everyone had a perfectly fine high definition camera in their jeans pockets at all times. He changed quickly out of his clothes and into a simple black swimming trunk before he neatly folded his clothes into the bag Fish had brought him and locked his belongings away safely into one of the lockers. As usual, he avoided looking at his mangled leg. Without his crutch, he would have been completely lost on the slippery tiles of the bath as he walked out of the changing area and into the pool area where he was already being awaited.

»You must be Oswald.« The man in the red swimming trunks and the plain white polo shirt who looked a bit like an old-school gym teacher, addressed him as Oswald stepped closer. He was probably around the same age as Fish, even though that was hard to estimate. A gruff looking fella with red hair and a beard. Irish, probably. »Mooney’s boy, right?«

»Yes.« Oswald sighed as he walked over to shake the stranger’s hand. The stranger’s eyes dropped to his destroyed leg before he pulled a grimace.

»That looks painful.« He huffed. »I’m Harvey, by the way. Fish asked me to test with your if swimming would help you regain strength in this leg. She said you were allowed to swim by your doctors and I think that it's better to get right back on the horse when you fell down.« He wanted to disagree and shoot some sarcastic remark at him but instead, he followed him to the ladder to slowly ease into the water even though it was not at all easy to climb down that ladder with only one truly functioning leg. He felt even more vulnerable now without the bracer around his knee. The pool was almost empty except for a few old ladies and one or two athletes. They had enough space for themselves for now.

The embrace of the water was almost unsettling as he slowly sunk into the water. It brought back memories he was trying and trying and trying to forget. It was odd how they tended to come back ever since the accident. He hadn't thought about them in years but ever since his mom died … He was drowning.

Swimming with a destroyed leg turned out to be a lot harder than he had originally even thought but Harvey was a patient enough man and he did not shy away from climbing into the pool with him after getting rid of his shirt to stabilize his core. The trick was to learn to move his right leg again and get rid of the stiffness of his joints. At least the pain was not nearly as bad as Oswald would have thought it would be.

He had never been comfortable with other people touching him in any which way. He didn't care if they meant him no harm or tried to help him. He didn't like it. Furthermore, he didn't like it how helpless and vulnerable he felt floating in this pool. It was exhausting and even more so the later it got and the sillier Bullock’s instructions became.

»You are too stiff.« Harvey huffed after a while with amusement surely dripping from his voice. »Just relax, would you?«

»I can't do the things you expect me to do, Harvey.« Oswald shot back annoyed which only caused him to swallow quite a bit of water in the process.

»Of course, you can.« The older man frowned. »You are stubborn, just like Fish said. You can do anything you set your mind on.«

»You are wrong. I am not a fighter.«

»If you weren’t, you wouldn't be here, Pal.« Oswald shot him a look of pure venom for his words. What could a man like Harvey Bullock possibly know about him and what kind of person he was anyway? He was tired of people thinking they knew him because, as it had turned out, most people did not, in fact, know him even in the slightest. The only person who really had known him was his mother. Harvey seemed unfazed by the look Oswald shot him and, if anything, that infuriated Oswald only more.

As they reached the half-hour mark, Oswald let out a frustrated groan before clutching the edge of the pool for support. »I can't do it!« He hissed. »I can't! It's too painful!«

»You can do it, Pal.« Harvey urged once more but Oswald knew that he was slowly chipping away at Harvey’s patience. »You just don't want to do it.«

»No!« He growled. »No, I can't! Just leave me alone, okay? Stop treating me like you would know me! I have enough of this! It's no use! I’m a cripple and floundering about in the water will not change anything about that!«

There was a moment of silence where Oswald had expected the other man to say something maybe even urge him to try again and not give up yet, but instead, Harvey sighed in defeat after a while. »You know what? Fine.« He mumbled and pulled himself out of the water before rising to his feet. This way, Oswald would be forced to actually crane his neck to look up at him. He refused to. »I can't force you to do anything you don't want to do, Oswald. We tried this and it didn't work. However, I want to give you a piece of advice before you leave. You are your own worst enemy, Oswald. That's true for everyone. You are your own hardest critic and that can be a good thing - except for the times it means that you are standing in your own way.« Oswald pinched his lips into a thin line, biting back words and insults directed at the other man. »Anyway, my best wishes to Fish. And if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. Take care, Oswald.«

Harvey walked away before Oswald had even climbed the ladder to come out of the pool, his naked feet pitter-pattering on the tiles. He was undoubtedly frustrated with his unwilling student at this point and maybe, under different circumstances, Oswald would have found it in himself to feel ashamed. He didn't, though.

After he climbed out of the pool and collected his crutch from a nearby bench, there was a moment Oswald caught a glimpse of the pool attendant who was overlooking the pool from his little tower not too far away. Years ago it had been Jim who had been sitting there, now it was another tall young man. He seemed familiar to Oswald but he was quick to brush this thought off. Handsome, without a doubt with his high cheekbones, the brown hair, and sharp nose. He would look better without his glasses. Their eyes met from across the room for just a second and he was almost certain that Oswald saw a hint or recognition flicker over the other young man’s face before Oswald gathered himself and started to limp back to the locker room.

He was in agony as he had finally changed back into his normal clothes and put on the bracer for his right leg. All he wanted to do was to soak in the bathtub in Fish’s house for hours until he could crawl into his bed and hide from the rest of the world. The thought that he still had to do his homework only added to his frustration as he slowly limped into the lobby of the building. He would wait outside for Fish to pick him up again. It was warm enough to wait outside and a part of him could not stand the smell of chlorine for a second longer now.

However, the moment he had almost made it to the large double doors, those doors were opened from the outside and in walked none other than James Worthington Gordon. Jim, just like Oswald, stopped dead in his tracks so that he was almost hit in the back by the door as it fell shut behind him again, the moment their eyes met. In a perfect world - or some of the cheesy romance movies his mother had loved to watch - the world would stop turning, birds would start chirping, soft music would be playing in the background as the male hero looked upon the love of his life while his heart was racing in his chest and he was unable to find words. Of course, nothing like that happened because real life just was not that magical. Instead, Jim, after the look of surprise had passed over his face, smiled and stepped closer. »Oswald!« He greeted friendly enough. »I haven't seen you here in a very long time. What brings you here?«

Oswald needed a moment to digest what Jim had just told him and the true meaning of his words. Until this point, Oswald had not even dared to consider that Jim Gordon had noticed him back in the day when Oswald had still learned how to swim. And now here they were and he started to realize that Jim had seen him all along. He had seen him. The thought made his head swim and his knees weak so that he leaned even heavier on his crutch. Jim, ever the attentive future detective, noticed the shift in Oswald’s posture immediately.

»It's because of your leg, huh?« He asked. »I'm surprised! But I think you made a good call there, Oswald. I mean you have to rebuild the strength in your leg now unless you want to be dependant on a crutch for the rest of your life and that's best done in water.« Jim actually reached out to pat his shoulder and Oswald felt strangely as if he was being knighted. »Really cool to see that you are kicking it in the ass, Oz! I’m proud of you.«

One more word of encouragement from Jim and Oswald was sure he would pass out right here and now. »I didn't know … I thought you would practice at the pool at school.«

Jim seemed confused for a moment before he chuckled. »Oh, I do.« He smirked. »But only on Monday, Thursday and Friday. I still work as the pool attendant for this bath on the other days.« There was a wink following his words. »So I guess, we will see each other a lot more from now on, huh?« Before he could even begin to untangle his tongue for a halfway coherent answer, Jim glanced at his watch. »Shoot! I have to go or else Ed will drown me. See ya in school!« With those words, Jim had walked around Oswald and hurried through the staff door to the left-hand side of the reception desk.

Dumbfounded and a little light headed, Oswald remained where he was. Later, as Fish picked him up and he slumped into the passenger's seat of her jeep, he still didn't know what had happened. »Well?« Fish urged after she had pulled back into traffic. »How did it go? I know Harvey can be a bit of a grouch, but I assure you he is a good guy. Actually, he is a cop, you know? But he’s working voluntarily in his free time as a swim trainer for the community - to help people like you or teach children how to swim. It all started with his wife Scottie, I believe.«

He was silent for the longest while as he was unable to even find an answer or a way to break it to Fish that he would no longer be doing this. Then, he thought, when he would keep it up he would maybe be able to spend more time with Jim - maybe even befriend him.

»It was good.« He lied before he shot her a grin. »Can’t wait for the next time.«

 

**-End of Chapter 2-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think, it means the world to me <3


	3. Chapter 3

His leg was a spiderweb of scars. Thin lines that were dancing over his lily white skin like grey snakes intertwined in a mating cycle. He hated even looking at his leg but worse was still dragging his fingers over the raised lines of his scars so he tended not to even touch his right leg. Beneath his skin, he could feel the bolds and screws that were keeping his leg together, when he would dig into his flesh just enough. The thought what lay beneath the skin, driven into bone and muscle, was horrifying to Oswald.

The worst was not his knee, though, or the long ragged scar that ran over his right foot and up his ankle where the skin had once been cut open to reassemble the shattered bones and bolt them into place. The worst was not even the constant state of pain that he was in. It was just looking at his right foot that made his stomach turn almost violently every time that he would make the mistake of looking down. The way it was turned to the side constantly, frozen in the moment of the crash … Not even the surgeries or the bracer he had had in the beginning had been able to fix that.

He could deal with the pain but not with how his foot looked and he couldn't even put into words why. Maybe he was just weak. Maybe it was something deeper lurking beneath the surface. A trauma that wouldn't let him go.

It was uncomfortable chilly inside the locker room of the baths as Oswald finally put away his stuff and locked the door of his chosen locker with a reassuring _thud_. Outside, Gotham reminded her citizens of her true nature when it came to the topic of weather. In other words, it was raining cats and dogs on this Sunday morning. It was a day most people would rather spend lying in bed all day, he assumed. Oswald had never been that kind of person, however. Only the early bird caught the worm, that was what his mother had drilled into him from an early age onwards. He needed to work hard for everything that he wanted and life would not hand him anything on a silver plate.

Fish had naturally been surprised to hear of his wish to go swimming today but she had not decided to stand in his way either. Though he had told her that he would keep doing this therapy-thing with Harvey, he had not contacted Harvey to meet here either. Nor had he apologized to the cop yet. No, on this particular day, Oswald came with a plan. He knew that Jim was working today after Jim had told him so willingly only a few days ago.

His plan was certainly far from perfect but if it wouldn't deliver him Jim’s heart on a silver plate, at the very least it would help him to get quite the substantial amount closer to Jim.

All he really needed was for Jim to become his friend and then they would go from there. Maybe Jim would even realize that Oswald was the right guy for him. Maybe he would fall for him in a matter of seconds! There was always this possibility, no matter how slim and Oswald had decided to cling to it. It was true, that Jim was in a relationship with the beautiful Barbara Kean - the most popular girl in school, no less -  did not particularly help his goal of having Jim fall in love with him but he had heard that things were not looking too good between them ever since the summer had started.

It was something about Jim not having enough time for her. Oswald might not be popular but he had always been good in gaining intel and that Butch was the boyfriend of Barbara Kean’s best friend certainly helped. He had learned it from his mother that information often was more valuable than money. Fondly Oswald remembered the story she once told him about how she had blackmailed a classmate to the secret police. With the right kind of information, you can destroy another person's life forever.

In this case, however, all he wanted to do was Jim Gordon to fall in love with him, though. Neither Jim nor Barbara were willing to see it but their relationship was meant to fall apart sooner or later. The both of them clearly had no future. Why prolong the inevitable? Maybe he was aiming too high, he thought while slowly making his way through the bowels of the baths, his naked feet pitter-pattering on the tiles, accompanied by the rhythmic _thud-thud_ of the crutch. Maybe Jim Gordon was way out of his league. No, he was _definitely_ way out of his league.

Jim Gordon was a true sunny boy straight out of every teen romance movie ever created with his honey blonde hair and his ocean blue eyes, his athletic body and those dimples. And he … He was just Oswald Cobblepot. Even though his mother had always insisted on telling him how handsome he was, Oswald knew that he was not very good looking. Even before his injury, he had been looking awkward. He was short and thin, his body was of awkward proportions, his legs and arms spindly. His hair was a weird mess on his head and his freckles scattered all over his face and shoulders. They didn't even have the decency to be pale or in just one place. Instead, his freckles seemed to be absolutely everywhere, deadset on annoying him as much as possible.

He was very aware that he was already seventeen years old and had never been kissed by someone other than his own mother. He was also acutely aware of the fact that never had anyone looked at him the way people would look at Barbara or Tabitha or Jim - heck, even Butch had more admirers than he had! Of course, Butch was a giant guy. He was part of the football team and dating a cheerleader! He was living the dream while Oswald couldn't throw a ball if his life would depend on it. He wasn't that good in the academic field either. He was highly intelligent, yes, but that did not really add to his sexiness-level.

For a moment he hesitated then. Well, even if Jim would not be able to fall for such a scrawny little thing as he was, maybe it would be enough having Jim as his friend at the very least. That was what Oswald told himself as he walked into the pool area. He could use a friend or two. Though he had spent years trying to convince himself that he really did not need friends who would only stab him in the back if they would become more popular like this but he knew that life without friends was a lonely thing. He was done feeling lonely.

It was a slow day but it was still early and the weather was bad. Surely, most Gothamites had other things to do but to go swimming on such a day. There were a few old ladies in the back chatting as they were taking a break holding onto the edge of the pool. Their colorful bathing caps like a rainbow in this dull interior and their laughter a welcome distraction for the moment. He found Jim, as expected on the guard tower up there where the children's pool was located too. Growing up in Gotham, Oswald remembered how his mother had sometimes come here with him and tried to convince him to learn how to swim up there in the kiddie pool. He had never trusted the water though.

At Jim’s side, Oswald could see the other young man whom he had seen during his last visit too - the one with the glasses. He seemed familiar as if Oswald had seen him before. Maybe at school. He seemed a bit taller than Jim, even while sitting down, but he could be roughly the same age as Jim. None of them seemed to pay him any attention as they were chatting idly with one another. And though the nameless lifeguard was wearing a pleasant smile on his face, Jim’s own smile seemed a little strained as if talking to that guy or being friendly towards him took much more effort than he was willing to give. Whoever that guy was, he had to be quite the weirdo for Jim Gordon to react like this. In all these years that Oswald already knew Jim and had watched him from afar, Jim Gordon had never been unfriendly to anyone who hadn’t deserved it.

Slowly, Oswald made his way over to the edge of the pool that was closest to the locker room door. He leaned his crutch against the railing of the aluminum ladder and threw another look at the tower and at the old ladies. No one seemed even remotely aware that Oswald existed. Well, being invisible was kind of his superpower.  One day, however, everyone in this city would know his name. That was a promise he had made himself a long time ago. He was destined to be a great man, after all.

It was a bit of a relief, though, that no one stared at him as he tried to look as normal as possible while clumsily climbing down the ladder and into the water. The real problem was his knee that wouldn’t bend the way it used to and so he had to really cling to the ladder so that he wouldn’t fall and hurt himself. He probably looked like a young fawn still unsteady on his legs.

The water was too cold and he preferred it boiling hot. He felt a little woozy from his pills and the painkillers that he needed to even make it through the day almost like a normal human being would. Maybe it was not the wisest decision to go into the cold water like this but he knew that Jim was up there watching over him. He couldn't be any safer. And if his near-death experience had taught him anything at all, cramped up in this destroyed car, it certainly was that his time on earth was limited. He better make the most out of it.

Still, swimming was hard as his right leg would not cooperate and instead drag him down more than anything and the resulting strain on his shoulders and arms was almost too much to bear anyway. Every now and then, he threw a glance at the guard tower as he did his lapses. His body was under constant strain ever since the accident. His good leg had to make up for the things the other couldn't do anymore, his right shoulder always aching from leaning into the crutch and supporting his weight on it. At least he could walk again. Swimming was a bit more comfortable, as he had to admit, even though he clearly hated admitting that other people had been right about something. The water took the strain off his limbs. Yet, he struggled to stay afloat and work his way to the other end of the pool. He was deliberately slow, though. The timing had to be perfect and finally, the other pool attendant left the tower and Jim in sole control of the situation.

Oswald kept swimming as if he had not noticed the fact that Jim was now alone but he watched how the other guy walked down the stairs that led to the locker rooms and vanished shortly after through the glass doors. The old ladies were still chatting with their backs to him. Under different circumstances, he would have been terribly annoyed that they were just floating there, chatting instead of actually swimming.

It was the perfect opportunity and so, as he had reached the middle of the pool again after three lapses, Oswald started struggling to stay afloat as if he was in honest danger and as he dipped below the surface, he was certain that his little show was working. At least he could hear the old ladies start shouting suddenly. However, as he breached the surface to gasp for breath, suddenly his world was spinning out of control without warning or any hint of what might have gone wrong just now. Suddenly, the struggle became real. His legs were not cooperating anymore, his arms could not support him any longer and this time, as his head subsequently went underwater without his doing, he could see his world turn black at the edges of his field of vision.

And in the darkness, he could hear the guttural roar of the leviathan floating just beneath his feet.

※※※※※※※

He had seen the boy before in school. He was his junior by one year and although he had acknowledged his existence before, he had really noticed him only this week when he had arrived at the pool with his crutch and a mangled leg to join none other than Harvey Bullock, the most useless cop the GCPD had to offer. Oswald Cobblepot, a thin, sickly looking boy who had just lost everything and still fought to come into his own. Of course, he had heard about what had happened to him and his mother only two months before the summer break. A tragedy that could only ever happen in a city like Gotham. It was a miracle that Oswald had survived the crash while his mother had been dead on impact. Thinking about it now, he couldn't even say if Miss Kapelput had been lucky to die so quickly and if Oswald wouldn't have fared better joining her in death.

Still, Edward Nygma had always admired people like him. Fighters. People who wouldn't just give up only because of a disability or life-changing car crash. And Oswald Cobblepot, despite his scrawny stature and the way he walked like a penguin, was a fighter through and through. The thing was just that most people were truly unable to see that.

That was only one reason why he watched him so closely as Oswald returned to the pool on this Sunday. He wondered where Oswald took the motivation and strength from.  It wasn't that he himself was weak by any means but he didn't always have the strength he wished he’d possessed to pull through everything. He knew that, deep down inside, there was someone stronger and smarter but until now, he had never found it in himself to release that other version of himself. If he had … Well, his girlfriend would not look much different but she would wear a different name. Oswald, on the other hand, was not bowing down to his new disability, he was fighting to regain his strength and took back control. Perhaps, Ed wondered, he could learn a thing or two from the younger guy if he would ever get the chance to talk to him.

For a while, after Oswald had climbed into the pool with much difficulty, Ed had watched him out of the corner of his eye while he had been talking to Jim. He had seen Oswald last time and even with Bullock's help and support he had struggled. That he was swimming all by himself now with a body that was lacking the strength it needed to fully support him in the water and in a pool that was a lot deeper than he was tall was a dangerous thing. Jim, on the other hand, seemed unconcerned by all of this.

Working with Jim was easy enough, he supposed. Jim Gordon was that kind of person to whom smiles came easy and making new friends didn't take much effort. He was dating the hottest girl in school - at least by popular opinion. Needless to say, Ed’s opinion differed quite a bit from that. In his eyes, Lee Thompkins who was in his chemistry club would be a much better match for him, though she was maybe a little too smart for someone like Jim. Still, Lee was friendly, pretty and kind - the complete opposite of Barbara Kean who thrived on putting others down and stepped on those who were weaker. Well, Jim was not the smartest man in the world but that was hardly new to anyone. Someday, Jim Gordon would be the perfect cannon futter for the GCPD.

Jim had seemed a little relieved as Edward had announced that he needed to use the bathroom but he couldn't quite decide why. They had talked about something very interesting that Edward had just recently learned about cow bowels and how they had been used during the second World War to fabricate the shell for the German zeppelins. Incredible interesting stuff, at least in Ed’s eyes but he had to learn early in his life that most people did not share his interpretation of interesting stuff. To most people, he was a weirdo and he could live with that. For the most part, at least.

It was always cold inside the baths and the toilets were no different at all. No matter which time of the year it was and Edward had never been a fan of the cold. It reminded him too much of his home where it was always cold whenever his father would have forgotten to pay the bills for the heating. He liked the Spring the most. He even liked the early stages of Autumn even, for the most part, the golden days of October when the sun would come back with a last effort to suppress the cold winter air. He was not even all that fond of his job as a lifeguard here at the pool. It was just what he had to do to stay away from home as much as he possibly could. Becoming a lifeguard had seemed somewhat logical to him even. One day, he wanted to be a part of the Gotham City Police Force as well, though not as a policeman. However, his skill as a lifeguard could come in handy for certain. When it was a quiet day he could even read a book or two at this place.

As he returned through the glass doors he could already hear the commotion. He was much closer to the pool as Jim was the moment he returned and saw that someone needed help. And not anyone. Edward immediately recognized the struggling person as Oswald. »He’s drowning!« One of the old ladies, regulars to the pool, shouted at him as she waved frantically. »Now do something!«

Ed found the drowning figure in the middle of the pool, already limp from exhaustion and he didn't hesitate to jump in as he already heard Jim rushing down to them as well. Jim Gordon, always the hero. Always the sunny boy. Always the person other people looked at for guidance. He could someday be a great man, maybe even a great leader. Not today, though. This time it was Ed who would shine and save that boy’s life whether Jim liked it or not. For once in his life, Ed too wanted to be deemed at least some kind of hero.

Ed was tall and certainly not unfit - he couldn't be while working as a pool attendant. He was quick to reach the drowning person after he had jumped in and it only took him mere seconds after he had dove into the water to pull the figure up again. He grabbed Oswald hard under his arms as he dragged him back to the surface and it barely took him any effort as he pulled him with his back against his chest. Oswald’s chin immediately fell to his chest and rested on his collarbones. He was even thinner and smaller than Edward would have expected. Having him so close against his chest, Ed could feel his ribs dig through his flesh.

He was trained for situations like this but that did not mean that his heart would not be racing in his chest as he dragged Oswald’s limp body to the edge of the pool. Jim had finally reached the pool and helped Ed to pull Oswald out of the water by his armpits before Ed climbed after him as well within seconds to push Jim away just slightly. He would not allow Jim Gordon to take the moment and be the hero once again. This here, this was Ed’s moment to shine.

※※※※※※※

_The night was dark. darker than everything Oswald had ever experienced as he managed to pry open his eyes. First the right one, then the left. He couldn't see much of the world around him at first and as panic started to settle in, he thought he might have gotten blind. Then the world started to take shape, if only blurrily. The only thing he could see was the rain all around him. He was drowning in the rain. The waves were crashing over his head as loud as thunder roaring over the mountains. The rain glistened and sparkled in the light of the headlights of the car. Something wasn’t right with the car. He was tossed between the waves, a helpless Raggedy Anne Doll at the mercy of the might of the ocean. Somewhere outside of his window, he could hear the leviathan screeching and roaring. It was close now. Much closer than ever before._

_He couldn't tell what it was that was wrong. Couldn't put his finger on it. In fact, he couldn't even feel his fingers. A part of him was certain that, would he look down, his fingers would be gone. He was without hands. Still, he just knew that something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t as it was supposed to be. The car was upside down._

_No, that was not it._

_The car wasn’t upside down. The radio was still running. He didn't know the song that was playing and as he turned his head, pain was shooting down his back. He still managed to turn his head just enough to look at the driver’s seat. His mother’s face was slack and pale in the light of the headlights. He knew that she was dead the moment he saw her face. He didn't know why he knew but the realization just struck him that she was dead._

_The song on the radio was interrupted by the news but he could only make out bits and pieces. »Severe weather warning for Gotham … Please remain in your houses … Storm … Floodings…« It wasn't important. He would much rather listen to that song again.  He wondered what the title might be or if anyone would be able to tell him. Maybe the host would tell him._

_There was no denial bubbling up inside of him as he looked at his mother. Not even for a second. She was dead. She was dead and Oswald couldn't look away. He wanted to lift his left hand and touch her face but then he remembered that he was without hands. He was without feet too. He couldn't feel his feet. He couldn't feel his legs. When he would look down, he knew, he wouldn’t find his legs and feet anymore. Only metal._

_And he couldn't understand what had happened in the first place. He remembered the screeching of the Leviathan. He only knew that his chest felt tight and constricted and that he couldn't breathe. His head was swimming with dizziness. How long he was inside the destroyed car, he couldn't tell. It took him long enough to grasp the fact that the car was completely destroyed, to begin with. He felt tired as he first saw the red and blue lights approach in the distance and all he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep._

_When he would wake up, his mother would be there and tell him that it had all just been a bad dream._

The first thing he felt was the light press of something soft against his mouth but before he could understand what was happening, his body convulsed violently as he started coughing. The vomiting was completely out of his control as his body surged upwards just enough to get the water out of his system. He didn't even realize what was happening to him. His body acted on its own in a last effort to save his life. Hell, as if this would still even matter.

When Oswald came back to himself and into his own body, he was not staring into the ocean blue eyes of James Gordon as he had planned and it took him a long while to even realize that. Well, to be completely honest, his plan had backfired anyway quite gloriously as panic had started to overwhelm him. As he spat out even more water, lying flat on his back on cold tiles, he needed a moment to collect his thoughts. There was a beeping sound ringing in his ears and demanding his complete attention for the longest moment as he blinked slowly against the loud neon lights. He was cold. He was freezing cold. Maybe he was even freezing. The cold was unbearable.

He could make out a face hovering above him but only after an eternity had already passed, pale skin and brown eyes staring back at him with intent. He could even see a mouth moving as if in slow motion for a while there, but he didn't understand a word. The only thing that properly registered in his brain was that this was not Jim Gordon. He had failed.

The aftermath of his failed plan was a lot more embarrassing than he had anticipated in the beginning. That was mainly because of the old ladies fretting over him after Jim Gordon had come with a towel to wrap him in it until Fish Mooney would arrive at the baths. Jim had called her with Oswald’s phone but that was something he only realized somewhere at the edge of his consciousness. He didn't remember giving Jim his locker key. He only knew that it happened. The arrival of Fish a little while later had not made it any better. It turned out, Fish Mooney, was much more of a lioness than a fish when it came to her babies.

In this regard, Fish reminded him of his mother quite a bit. His mother would have killed everyone who even dared to look at her darling the wrong way. Fish, of course, was much the same way as she collected Oswald and drove him back home where she demanded that he would first take a hot shower and the change into his warm pajamas. Not long after that and quite a bit more embarrassed, Oswald sat down on the comfortable couch in her cozy living room, wrapped in one of Fish’s warm blankets like in a cocoon.

»And what happened to him now?« It was Butch, of all people, who walked right in on him as Oswald huddled on the couch. He had heard his arrival back at the house a few moments ago but hadn't paid it too much attention anyway.

»Your brother almost drowned today.« Fish sighed as she switched on the TV and sat down next to Oswald who was resting against the armrest. Without even asking or waiting for his consent, she pulled his feet that he had clothed into the warmest socks he had onto her lap right away. For a moment, he wanted to protest but the way Fish held onto his feet was reminding him so much of his mother that he couldn't bring himself to do so.

And yet, he hated it when someone touched him just like this and he hated it when someone would touch his destroyed leg no matter who it was.

There was a small voice in the back of his head that wanted to remind her that Butch was not his brother and yet he knew that Fish liked to play happy family here. In her eyes, since they were living together like a family, they should do everything in their power to act like a family too. And Butch, for some reason, seemed to have adopted that sentiment too. Oswald wondered if it was because of the loss of his own family so many years ago. Maybe Butch saw in him the little brother he had lost so long ago.

»What?« He exclaimed still standing in the doorway with a red apple in his hand. He had probably just returned from his date with Tabby the way he looked and for all Oswald knew about that girl, their date had ended quickly because of Barbara’s usual shenanigans. »Jesus, Oz … What happened?«

He had never been fond of people shortening his name but his words only ever fell on deaf ears.

»Well, that's what I want to know too!« Fish sighed as if he wasn’t even here at all. Some things just never changed. »The lifeguard said he was swimming just fine and suddenly he went under!«

»I mean … Was it your pills or something like this? Did someone do something to you?«

Only James who had stolen his heart like a thief in the night, he wanted to claim but quickly held himself back. »What, you mean the nice old ladies who were there with me?« Oswald scoffed but before one of them could ask yet another question, Oswald rolled his eyes with a groan. »I don't know what happened, okay? It just happened. Maybe it was a bit too much … I don't know!«

At least that was not a lie for once. He did not know what had gone wrong. Maybe the pills, maybe the over exhaustion. The only thing he knew for certain was that his plan had not worked and he had lost his first kiss to this other guy … if that was counting as a kiss. To Oswald it did and he would forever be bitter about it.

Then again, he had no one to blame but himself. And even if his plan would not have failed … so what? Had he honestly expected Jim to fall hopelessly in love with him after saving his life? Had he expected the magic of a Disney kiss that would finally break the spell once and for all? Well, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation could hardly be called a kiss and yet, this other guy had been the first to ever touch his lips like this and he hated that. He hated that guy.

»Whatever it was, we will just have to keep a closer eye on you, Darling. Right, Butch?«

As Oswald glanced at him while Butch took a bite from his apple, the big guy did not even seem annoyed by the prospect of having to look after his foster brother. To Oswald, this was incredibly odd. How could Butch so willingly care for him? A few months ago,  they had been complete strangers and just happened to visit the same school. There had been no animosities between them because they had not known each other. Maybe this whole concept was so alien to him because he and his mother had rather stuck to themselves. That was also why his mother hadn't had many friends - if he was going to call the other Hungarian women in their neighborhood his mother had sometimes met to play Gin her friends. It had been only the two of them against the rest of the world and Oswald had been fine with that.

Would he have liked to have friends? Sure. But, in the end, all those other kids had been way below him. That was what his mother had always said to him when he had come home crying after he had been bullied again and again.

»Of course, we will.« Butch broke the spell. »From now on, I’ll give him a ride every day.«

»I don't need-«

»I can always meet Tabby at school, I’m sure she won’t mind.«

Oswald knew that he could protest as much as he wanted but, in the end, his words would only fall on deaf ears. Fish and Butch had both already decided that he was weak and in dire need of their protection. He wondered if that was because Fish had seen him at the hospital when he had still been hooked to machines and fighting for his life. There was no point in arguing that Fish was a very motherly person, after all, and she liked to care for all things broken. She had seen a broken little bird in that hospital bed and Butch seemed to thrive when he thought he could protect something or someone too. Tabitha Galavan did not provide the satisfaction of that need.

It was weird to him to have someone like this in his life after his mother's death, people who actually cared about him. There was this bitter voice in the back of his mind telling him that they didn't really care about him and that they only acted as if they cared because that was what was expected of them. Behind his back, they were probably laughing at his expense. Even as he was later lying in his bed and tried to find some rest before the next day of school would demand his everything again he was still thinking about the events of the day. He thought about Jim Gordon and how he would act around him from now on. He thought about Fish Mooney and Butch and how they treated him.

What would his mother say to all of this?

**-End of Chapter 3-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think, it means the world to me <3


	4. Chapter 4

»Can I help you?« Oswald Cobblepot’s eyes were like daggers send flying straight at Edward Nygma as he stood in front of him just inches apart.

»I don't think so. Can you?«

The smile on his face was more a grimace than a friendly expression as Oswald turned away from his open locker to face him right away. »What do you want?« He was facing Edward with the expression of a young man who had faced off with bullies all his life and was tired of hanging his head and pulling up his shoulders. It was the face of someone who didn't fear anything anymore because he had already lost so much. He felt drawn towards him and he couldn't quite explain why.

»What I want, the poor have, the rich need and when you eat it you die.« A part of him was disappointed by the obvious confusion on Oswald’s face that followed his riddle immediately. Like many, he did not seem particularly fond of riddles.

»Is this … Are you asking me a riddle?« Oswald asked and the dumbfounded expression on his pale face betrayed his sharp mind and wit of which Edward was sure he possessed.

»Do you like riddles?«

»No.«

»So do you give up?«

Edward wondered if Oswald even knew how cute that little snort he produced was or how pretty his dimples were as he forced his face back into an amused grimace while he was clearly as annoyed by Edward as anyone could get. This was nothing new to Ed, of course.

»Friend, look-«

»Nothing. The answer is nothing.« Edward grinned and shoved his glasses up his nose just a little. They had the tendency to slip a little. He knew that he needed a new pair desperately but that was a topic better not brought up at home. Oswald was quite a bit smaller than him but he didn't want to appear as if he was looking down on him as he leaned with his side against one of the other lockers next to Oswald’s. »The poor have it, the rich need it and when you eat it-«

»Who are you?« He asked that question as if he would not know that it had been Ed who had saved his life just yesterday.

»Edward Nygma.« He smiled. »I know who _you_ are.«

There was obvious anger ghosting over Oswald’s face. Surely he recognized Edward from the pool no matter how he was acting now. Who wouldn’t recognize the person who had saved their life? It wasn't as if he would expect actual gratitude because this was just not how the world worked but anger? A part of him was a little offended and that offendedness only grew as Oswald opened his mouth the next second.

»Then you know that you are standing too close.«

He took a step back after the words had sunken in as if Oswald had slapped him and Oswald underlined his frustration as he slammed the door of his locker shut.  »Do you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet?« The glare Oswald shot him was one of pure murderous intent and suddenly Ed felt as if Oswald would be quite capable of going through with murdering him too. »Isn't that neat?«

He could see the underlying rage in his eyes and the desire to harm him. But instead, Oswald turned around without another word to limp down the hallway. It was only then that Edward realized just how stupid his words had been. Of course, the similarities to a Penguin were uncanny in the way Oswald walked but he was sure that it wasn't the first time that Oswald had heard something like this from someone in school. He didn't wish to become only one more bully of the other young man. In fact, Edward Nygma had decided that he would become Oswald Cobblepot’s friend. He seemed in need of a friend and in this regard, Oswald wasn’t alone either.

Yet, Edward could only follow him with his eyes now as Oswald waddled to class. Until lunchtime, he decided, Ed would have ample time to rethink his strategy of befriending Oswald.

※※※※※※※

Oswald hated the cafeteria of his school with a passion. No, he hated the cafeteria of absolutely every school everywhere in the world. The room was noisy and filled with all kinds of other students. Some popular, some not. There was a certain sense of unspoke hierarchy to a place like this and Oswald had had a very hard time adjusting to it - after he had finally understood it. The jocks were sitting at one table pretty much in the center of the cafeteria with the limelight shining on them and everyone orbiting around them, the cheerleaders sat at another not too far away from the jocks. The science nerds were banned to a corner and the rest scattered all across the large room. The goths kept to themselves for the most part, as did the geeks and all the other weirdos. There was no distinct spot for Oswald Cobblepot in the hierarchy of the cafeteria. He wasn't part of any kind of social group. Even for the freaks, he was too much of a freak. That was just a fact of his life. It had never been different. So, in the end, he tended to sit down where ever there was a free spot.  

The disappointment was just as big as he had expected as he got his lunch and could not even quite determine what it even was. He missed the home cooked lunch his mother had usually packed him every day. He expected to sit down with his lunch at some table in the corner as usual today. Of course, navigating through the cafeteria with a tray of food in one hand and a crutch in the other wasn’t exactly easy and Butch wasn't around to help him either. Not that he would have expected Butch to be here to help him anyway. He had always been on his own, after all. He didn't need any help from the guy he was living with now. That might not be entirely true, of course, but his pride forbade him to ask for help.  

Somehow he made it to one of the tables with his tray but the moment he had sat down at the table, something was flung at him from across the table and landed in his mashed potatoes. With an annoyed sigh, Oswald picked up the piece of paper only to realize that it was not even the usual crumpled up note with the usual kind of insult crudely written on it but a playing card. His blood ran cold even before he had time to turn around the card and find the picture he had expected to find. The Joker was laughing in his face as he did and as he looked up the face on the card was mirrored by someone he had wished to never see again.

»Ozzy, my old friend!« It was a voice and a face that had followed him into his nightmares for far too long and Oswald had hoped to never see this face or hear this voice ever again. And yet, even as he blinked, the face was still right in front of him, pale, with intense brown eyes that seemed to stare directly into his very soul as he sat there and had forgotten that he was even hungry. »Is this seat taken?«

Jerome Valeska, that was the name of the monster that had been living under his bed for years and now it pointed at the seat just in front of Oswald.

»If I say yes, will it make a difference?« But already Jerome had dragged one of the chairs on the opposite side of the table to sit at Oswald’s left-hand side at the narrow side of the table. He wasn't alone, of course. As always, he had a small group of other boys with him and already they circled around the table like sharks. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he felt one of them behind him.

»What's with the attitude, Oswald?« Jerome frowned. »I thought we were friends. Aren't we friends? Aren't you happy to see me again? I heard about your mother, Ozzy. I expected you to dance on the table now that she can no longer hold you back.«

Oswald rose from his spot instinctively but was pushed back down by one of Jerome’s friends who had taken position behind him. That was the thing with Jerome Valeska and Oswald would never be able to understand how he did it. No matter how long he was gone, whenever he returned to Gotham he would have people flock to him within just days - new and old alike. And every time he left the city, he left behind some form of mark on this city or the school. His presence was never truly forgotten. Some people called it charisma, he would assume. The grip of the boy behind him on his shoulders was bruising as meaty fingers dug into his shoulders.

»Let me go!« Oswald growled but he did his best to keep his voice lowered as he did not wish to draw any kind of unwanted attention towards his dilemma. The only thing that this brought him was that the guy behind him pushed down so hard on his left shoulder that Oswald was certain it would pop out of its socket.

»You know when my mother died last winter I was devastated too, just like you now, but I expected more of you than just you moping around for weeks. After all, I heard you managed to weasel your way into a rather nice foster family while me and my dear brother had to vent for ourselves with the carnival. Can you believe it, my dear friend? Our poor mother was brutally slain by some violent thug and instead of comfort they offered us a place to sleep in the hay with the donkeys!« Jerome theatrically retold his tale of loss and betrayal as he grabbed Oswald’s tray and pulled it towards himself to start eating his mashed potatoes.

Oswald didn't even look at him as he plainly stared at the table for a moment. He knew what Jerome wanted from him. He knew that he wanted to coax a reaction out of him but Oswald would not play along. »Well, that is very sad.« He said instead in a measured voice as he raised his gaze to look at Jerome now. He felt cold all over despite the late September heat.

The next thing he knew was that Jerome was pointing his fork at him sharply and sent bits of mashed potato flying everywhere.  »I'm gonna cure you of that attitude, Oswald!« he promised with a wicked grin. »I'm gonna find that entertaining guy I know is inside of you! Like in the good old days, remember? And when I do … Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together.«

It was then that the other guy was again pushing harder into his shoulders, making his left shoulder pop painfully in the process and Oswald groan out in agony. And it was then that his knight in shining armor came once more to the rescue. Jim Gordon, who did not have any reason to truly care about him came to make sure he was alright. »Oswald.« He addressed him curtly as he reached his table with a small entourage of his own behind him and glanced at Jerome shortly before his deep blue eyes rested upon him again. »Is everything alright?«

»Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim.« Jerome interrupted in a singsong voice as he looked up at Jim Gordon with a huge grin pulling on his lips. »Long time no see!« He jumped from the chair again and even his goon let go of Oswald as Jerome stood up, giving Oswald a chance to bail. Though that would be most unfair to Jim, he assumed, so he stayed where he was but cast pleading eyes at Jim nonetheless. »It appears not so much has changed since I was here last time! You still have a giant stick up your ass! My old friend and I were just talking! Catching up. I expressed my condolences.«

»Leave it, Valeska.« Jim frowned and crossed his arms. His entire posture was one of authority, his stance wide, his back straight and his chin raised. Already there were people gathering and though Jerome was always one for the big show, the moment that Butch Gilzean also entered the scene, Jerome seemed to have enough as he raised his hands in surrender.

»You guys are no fun!« Jerome shrugged it off but the wink he threw at Oswald promised of more encounters to come.

※※※※※※※

Edward had been too late to intervene as he had entered the cafeteria and saw that red-headed thug Jerome Valeska standing by Oswald’s table. He could have still stepped in before Jim Gordon had decided to play the hero as he was so prone to do but it was Isabella who had held him back and reminded him that it was not their business. This was only one of the reasons why Ed knew that he and Isabella were not truly compatible. She was pretty, yes, and she was smart. She had an interest in riddles and books just like Edward and she always said the right thing and yet … yet she was not Kristen.

Maybe it was an awful thing for him to think but he couldn't help what he felt, right? He had fallen in love with Kristen Kringle the moment his eyes had fallen upon her in junior year of high school. Kristen, on the other hand, seemed blind to his existence ever since. In the beginning, he had tried to woo her and win her over but instead, she had rather gone out with abusive assholes like Arnold Flass or  Tom Dougherty who treated her worse than an object at times. And yet Kristen had not lost her gentle heart and her bright smiles.

That he had ended up with her twin sister Isabella instead last July had been a mistake and he knew this. Isabella didn't get along with her twin sister all that much although they were not that different from a characteristic standpoint, at least not in Edward’s eyes. He had known that Isabella had had an eye on him for quite a while now and in the beginning of their relationship, Ed had been certain that he too liked her and that he could fall for her in time. They had spent almost all of the summer together except for the few weeks Isabella had spent with her sister at bible camp. And, to be perfectly honest, the reason why he tended to go to Isabella's place after school was not even her. Sure, like all teenage boys he was burdened by hormones but it was literally impossible to do anything at the Kringle house because her Jesus loving parents were always around. Not to mention the fact that Isabella was very against any funny business.

Anyway, Ed could only linger and look what was happening to Oswald, his new friend, as Jim Gordon entered the scene to make sure that he was okay and he hated every second of it. Once again, Jim Gordon was the hero of the story while Edward couldn't even get a conversation with Oswald without being shut down right away by the younger boy. It was an enigma to him why Oswald didn't want to talk to him after it had been Ed who had saved his life.

It was only the next day when Ed finally got the chance to shine at last.

He had just left the library where he had spent the last hour to do his homework together with Isabella and walked out into the schoolyard behind the cafeteria as he heard the ruckus. The school was by now largely deserted and most other students who didn't have a damn good reason to stay had already left. Of course. No one who was in their right minds would really like to stay longer than absolutely necessary at school. First, he thought it was the basketball team but then again they only rarely practiced in the yard and since it was a rather rainy day chances were slim that it was any sports team, for that matter.

Yet, the noise would not stop and grow only louder the closer Edward got to the center of the yard. He could already see the fiery head of this circus guy, Jerome Valeska. He was a guy Ed had only studied from afar until now. That was the few times that Ed had actually seen Jerome Valeska and his twin brother Jeremiah in the past years. The twins were, as far as he knew, part of Haly’s Circus that came into town every year around this time and stayed for a few months until traveling north. Whenever the circus was in town, the twins were actually visiting his school, although this would probably be their last year. They were the same age as Oswald and Ed doubted sincerely that at least Jerome would want to continue going to school after he had turned eighteen. Jeremiah Valeska, on the other hand, was a different thing altogether. He was more or less living in his crazy brother’s shadow and thus practically invisible. However, Edward had seen him quite a few times already at the library. He was a shy, calm guy who rather stuck his nose in books as in trouble like his brother.

Jerome had, as per usual, gathered quite the crowd around himself as he stood there at one of the stone tables where sometimes people would sit to do their homework in the sunlight and all of them were cheering about something Ed could not yet make out. It wasn't hard to be absorbed in the crowd without anyone even noticing him in the slightest. Only then did he see that there was a boy, much smaller than Jerome, standing on the table with him before Jerome jumped down from the table to take position in front of it. He only needed one glance to assess that the boy was held most certainly against his will and trembling from the humiliation he got to experience.

Ed recognized him immediately as Oswald Cobblepot. Oswald’s frightened stare was directed at Jerome and he was even paler than usual. There was no question about the fact that he could almost not hold himself up on his destroyed leg without his crutch but Jerome held it in his hands and would not give it over. »I told you, Pengy. I would cure you of the sad-sad mopey act! And the best cure is the laughing cure.« Jerome reveled in the attention he got. He reveled in the humiliation he could make Oswald feel but his voice had a sinister tone to it as he spoke up again. »Make me laugh.«

It took only seconds for the group to start chanting the same words and Ed could only stare in disbelief for a moment. Those people were no longer his classmates he had spent the last few years with at this school. Sure, Gotham High had never been a particularly peaceful place but this … This was something else. To Ed, it was like witnessing the forming of a cult and he did not like it one bit.

»So, what will you be performing? Juggling?« Even from the sidelines, he could see the grin spreading on Jerome’s face that made his face appear like a horribly distorted mask. A grimace of madness. Something subhuman at best. »What was that?« Jerome then asked mockingly as he put a finger to his ear. »You want to do a clown dance?«

Ed had never seen anyone as shell-shocked and terrified as Oswald Cobblepot at this very moment. Not even after he had pulled him out of that pool after he had nearly drowned. No. This right there was pure terror on Oswald’s face and he could only assume that the reason for this deep level of panic lay deep within Oswald’s past with Jerome. And yet, the little bird still had fight in him.

»I will not!« He spat.

There was no need for Ed to ask where the ridiculous clown outfit came from that Oswald was manhandled into by a few of Jerome’s eager followers. Surely it was something Jerome had stolen from his own circus. They forced Oswald onto his knees violently to get a better hold of him despite his cry of pain and distress as they did, only to let him go seconds later. A part of him wanted to jump into the situation and help him but he knew that would he do so, he would only get beaten down too. He needed to wait for a better opportunity. And so he could only watch as one of the guys pulled Oswald back to his feet, his trembling now worse than ever and not only caused by fear but pain too.

»In your own time.« Jerome mocked while his friends were still chanting ‘make him laugh’ like maniacs. He could see the flash of cellphone cameras going off and at least one of those around were filming. It was a colorful mixture of people who watched Oswald’s humiliation. Jocks and nerds alike stood and celebrated the dehumanization or another boy. But Oswald did not break down crying. There was a tremble in his voice as he spoke, he sounded hoarse even, but he didn't cave.

»You have no idea how I’ve suffered.« He bit back at Jerome and found him unimpressed. »Just leave me alone!« Those last words nearly broke his heart as they were almost violently pushed from Oswald’s throat in a tiny wheeze. »Leave me alone!«

»Cut!« Jerome groaned in annoyance. »Oswald … Oswald, Oswald…« Jerome sighed as he stepped up to the table and suddenly jammed one finger into the flesh of Oswald's left temple. »You are trapped in a prison in here.« This time he jammed his finger into his forehead and Oswald flinched away in terror. »And I am offering you a key. So … dance!«

It was almost like some dark ritual that Ed had to bear witness to as a group of Jerome’s friends started to poke Oswald with broomsticks, jabbing at him and jamming them into the flesh of his legs. Until now, he had not even noticed that some of them were holding those brooms in their hands. Jerome had meticulously planned all of this and his followers, his cult, was following his every word. The thought alone that a seventeen-year-old circus boy who only joined Gotham High every now and then had so much power above so many other people was frightening to Ed. They seemed to have fun targeting his mangled leg especially. Like vultures, they were aiming for Oswald’s most clearly visible weakness. Inevitably, Oswald tried to escape them and inevitably he started to slip on the surface of the table.

»There we go!« Jerome laughed and it was then that Ed could see how something inside of Oswald snapped. Although it happened so fast, Edward could pinpoint the exact moment. Jerome was still close to the table as Oswald jumped at him with one desperate roar and yet he was struck down and thrown to the ground immediately by one of Jerome’s thugs. Oswald landed on the ground with a painful little crunch of his back and a bleeding nose but Jerome Valeska would not be Jerome Valeska would he just leave it at that. »Fred Astaire you are not.« He commented dryly before delivering a sharp kick to Oswald’s head and face. It was then that Edward finally couldn't just watch any longer as Jerome was already aiming to kick him again.

»Principal Barnes is on his way!« He shouted into the crowd and before anyone - even Jerome Valeska - could do anything, the crowd started to dissolve quickly. No one wanted to get into a _situation_ with Barnes, that was no surprise and exactly what Ed had thought they would do. All of them were cowards. All of them, except Jerome Valeska, perhaps who stood there and stared at Edward for a moment longer. He didn't address Ed. He didn't say anything at all, really, yet Ed understood that Jerome knew that this had been a bluff from Ed. He only flashed him one more shark-like grin before he tipped an invisible hat to Ed, turned and left to follow his band of thugs, Oswald’s crutch still in his hands.

Ed thought that he should be abhorred by the behavior of his classmates but maybe the saddest part in all of this was that he was not even surprised by it in the slightest. This was Gotham, after all. Only the strongest and most vile people could survive in Gotham. And that was no different when it came to the schools.

He felt like crap as he walked closer to Oswald. He was bleeding quite badly from his nose and mouth and still trembling like a leave during a thunderstorm. If there was one thing Edward Nygma truly hated with a passion, it was bullies. He would never understand why some people felt the need to target those who were weaker than them. And Oswald … Heck, hadn't he gone through enough already? »Hey … Oswald.« He addressed him quietly as he knelt down beside him. »Can you stand up? Do I need to call someone?«

»No.« He gasped. »No, I am okay.« He was as far from being okay as anyone could possibly be and they both knew this as well and yet Ed decided that he would not start arguing with him about this now. Oswald had already gone through enough today. He could need a break.

»Come, let me help you.« Ed sighed as he carefully grabbed him under the arms and helped him back to his feet. A moment later he had maneuvered him to the stone bench that was surrounding the circular table Oswald had just been forced to stand upon. The brooms those assholes had used against him were still lying around, only Oswald’s crutch was missing after Jerome had taken it as a souvenir. The Valeska twins would undoubtedly make a fascinating case study when it came to nature vs. nurture. Then again, who could honestly say that Jeremiah Valeska might now even be much worse than his brother?

»I am sorry.« Ed sighed as he sat down heavily beside Oswald. Quickly, he had pulled a packet of tissues out of his bag and gave one to Oswald so that he could wipe away the blood from his face at the very least. Jerome had left quite the nasty cut that ran over the bridge of Oswald’s nose but at the very least it didn't look broken to Ed. »I should have helped you sooner.«

»It's not your fault.« Oswald replied quietly and much calmer than he had been yesterday when they had met in the hallway. This boy was an enigma. Now of all times would be the moment to be furious about Ed’s lack of involvement.  »In the end, you did help me, that's all that matters.« With a groan he dragged a hand through his black hair, messing it up even more than usual. »It's my own fault anyway for being just so god damn weak, you know? I should have known he would do something like this. I should have just asked Butch to pick me up or something.«

»You cannot run away from Jerome all the time, though.« Ed replied quietly. »Butch is not always gonna be there. And neither will Jim Gordon. You are not weak, Oswald. Jerome is just an asshole who singled you out because of your disability and because he thought you wouldn't possibly fight back. But you did.«

»No, I fell on my face.« Oswald spat.

»You did.« Ed shrugged. He wasn’t all that good when it came to comforting people. His only practice in this regard was how he would comfort his mother in the past whenever she had yet again collided with one of the dressers in the bedroom or fell down a flight of stairs. »But you tried to fight him. You didn't just take his abuse.«

Only then, as if Oswald had finally realized who he was talking to, did he look at Edward with bewilderment written clearly all over his pale face. »Why are you helping me? If this is because of what happened at the pool, then I-«

»It is and it isn't.« Ed replied quickly but the confusion on Oswald’s face only grew at this. He wanted to answer him with a riddle but from his expression alone he could already tell that this wouldn't be a very good idea now. »I noticed how you were looking at Gordon.« Ed sighed and before Oswald could say anything he cut him off again. »You look at him the same way I look at Kristen Kringle. I know it's hard to want someone who doesn't even know you exist.«

Oswald wanted to protest but instead, his cheeks turned red. He knew he had been found out and Ed could tell that he truly hated the idea. He could understand him well enough in this matter. His life was hard enough as it was already. He was surely not too happy to be gay in addition to all of the crap he was going to. And hell, if anyone knew anything about being in love with the wrong person, it was Edward Nygma. He felt for the little bird.  

»I propose an alliance.«

»A what now?«

»An alliance between you and me.«

»What for?«

»Well, if you help me to get Kristen Kringle to like me, I help you to get with Jim Gordon.« There was a long moment of hesitation in which Oswald said nothing before he snorted quietly.

»Listen, friend.« He began sweetly despite his still bleeding nose. »I have no idea what brings you to the conclusion that I would like Jim Gordon in such a way but I can assure you that even if I would, there is no way in Hell Jim would ever even contemplate dating me. And I doubt that you would be able to change anything about that.«

Oswald was trying to stand at this but he immediately started swaying on the spot and Ed rose to his feet to drag Oswald’s arm around his shoulders instead. »Let's talk somewhere else.« He decided with a smirk. »I am bringing you home first my feathered friend. We have plans to make.«

 

**-End of Chapter 4-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think, it means the world to me <3


	5. Chapter 5

It came as no surprise to really anyone that Fish was furious as she sat him down in her living room to clean up the mess on his face later on that bleak and awful day as the rain was drizzling against the windows of the small cozy townhouse of Gotham’s theater district.

»I’ll rip his lungs out!« Butch growled as he was pacing back and forth behind the backrest of the couch Oswald was sitting on. »Why didn't you come to me for help, Oz? Why didn't you tell me that Jerome was threatening you?«

Oswald shared a small look with Edward Nygma over Fish’s shoulder. She was sitting right in front of Oswald on the usually messy coffee table with the first aid kit on her lap. Edward, on the other hand, had taken a seat in one of the armchairs near the window awkwardly with a cup of coffee in his slim hands. Fish would not let his savior out of her clutches so easily, that was just yet another truth they all knew. Not after Ed had driven him home in his old green beetle and helped him to the door. Ed Nygma’s face had an almost completely unreadable expression to it now and Oswald tried not to think too much about what he had said in the schoolyard. Was his infatuation with Jim really so obvious?

»I don't need a babysitter.« Oswald groaned but hissed sharply as Fish carefully dabbed a bit of rubbing alcohol on a cut that ran over the bridge of his nose. »Jerome will get bored soon and leave me alone.«

»And when is that?« Fish hissed. »When your face is completely unrecognizable?« She would do far worse damage to Jerome than just ripping out his lungs would she ever get her hands on him. »Or when he did something worse than what he already did?«

»You should know better than anyone that this Jerome guy is a loose cannon, Oswald!« Years ago, Butch had not seemed too bothered by Jerome Valeska or Oswald’s safety for that matter. Maybe it was a bit unfair to Butch, he wouldn't deny that. One could not expect another person to care for someone they had nothing to do with, after all. But why should it be any different now only because they were living under the same roof?

»I can assure you, Miss Mooney, that Oswald will not have to deal with this alone.« Ed suddenly chimed in. »This guy is all bark and no bite.«

»Well, looking at Oswald’s face now I would think that he has plenty of bite.« Fish snapped before she managed to reign herself in. »But I do appreciate that you are trying to ease my mind.«

It was an enigma how Ed and Oswald managed to get out of Fish’s clutches after she had cleaned and patched him up, but somehow they managed and found themselves in the sanctity of Oswald’s room not too long after. His room was still very spartan in interior and until now, he had had no reason to feel self-conscious about it either. Now that Ed was here, he felt the need to explain himself and his behavior - or most importantly the moving boxes that were still standing around everywhere.

Ed was perhaps too polite to actually address the elephant in the room but the way he stood there by the door and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, told Oswald enough. »I didn't have time to settle in.« He mumbled quietly and sat down on his bed which prompted Ed to move towards Oswald’s desk and sat down on his desk chair.

»It must be hard.« Ed replied after a moment. »Losing your mother like this. I understand if you don't want to talk about it … It's just … Maybe it would help you.« The first thing that came to his mind was to snap at Edward, so he did.

»I don't need help, Edward.« He spat even though he felt bad for his rude behavior right that instant. Edward Nygma seemed to be a good guy, after all. He had helped him and he was still here as is he would really care for Oswald. »And I certainly don’t want to talk about my mother with you either. What do you know anyway? Don't think we are friends just because you helped me after you watched how Jerome tormented me!«

To his surprise, Ed stayed quite calm despite his outburst. He was silent for a moment then before he brushed a hand through his brown hair. »My mother died a few years ago.« He then admitted reluctantly. »She was sick and my dad not a great help. So … I think I know a thing or two about grief, Oswald.« For just a moment, Oswald didn't know how to react to this. He felt a little attacked, maybe even ashamed but he didn't want Edward to know so he frowned at him instead of apologizing profusely like it would have been expected from him. Like everyone at school would have probably expected from him.

»So what now?« He frowned. »You were talking about helping each other out before. What exactly did you mean?«

»You are in Kristen’s French class, aren’t you?«

»And Algebra, yes.« Oswald sighed. »Why?«

»Well, isn't this obvious?« Ed smirked and shoved his glasses up his nose a little more. The sharp glance of Edward’s amber eyes did not escape Oswald. Maybe, if he would be willing to ponder about it for longer, Oswald might even feel a kinship with Edward. There was something about that boy that was oddly intriguing and yet, at the same time, he was reluctant to lower his guard even in the slightest.

»You want me to befriend Kristen and praise you.« Oswald sighed after a moment. »I could do that, of course. But what about her sister? She is your girlfriend, after all. I think, if this Kristen has any integrity as a human being, she would not betray her own twin sister like this. Furthermore, as far as I am aware, she is dating this asshole Dougherty and they seem quite happy.«

Edward snorted and he had expected nothing else. Now he could only watch how Ed started pacing his room, completely unbothered by the boxes that were standing around. »Happy!« He spat. »Of course she isn't happy with that asshole! He is an abusive bastard and everyone knows this. She is just too proud to admit to her bad choice in men because it's the second time she chose someone like this already.«

»There is still the thing with her sister.« Oswald reminded him with a small roll of his eyes. As little as he himself cared about the feelings of Ed’s girlfriend, her twin sister probably did care.

»Kristen and Isabella hate each other.« There was this smile on his face again as he turned around sharply to look at him. »I think Kristen would even enjoy this.« The better question would probably be if Ed would enjoy mistreating his current girlfriend like this. Maybe he should overthink his assessment of Ed’s character again. Maybe he was not a good guy after all. What man would gladly break some girl’s heart to date her sister? Even though Oswald could understand where he was coming from. Would he not be gay he would prefer Kristen over Isabella too.

It was impossible not to snort at this. »Well isn't this lovely?« He mumbled. »One question: Why did you start dating her sister in the first place when you wanted Kristen? You got yourself into this situation, Ed, and now you want my help to get out of it!«

»Hey!« Ed huffed. »If you help me out of my situation, I’ll help you with Jim!«

»You do realize that this is equally impossible as it is to get you with Kristen Kringle, right?« Oswald sighed and finally let himself fall back on the mattress to stare at his bland white ceiling. The last thing he had expected to talk about on this day was his feelings for Jim Gordon or how he would get Kristen Kringle to like Edward Nygma, a young man of whom he had not even been aware that he existed a short while ago, let alone what his name even was.

»Nothing is impossible if you truly desire it, Oswald.« Ed replied. »We can do this as a team if we put our mind to it! I mean, Jim and I work together, we talk a lot! He and Barbara Kean … That's just a matter of time now!«

»So what? Even if they break up, that does not make him gay, Ed.« Until now, he had never spoken about his feelings towards other men, nor had he ever outright said that he was gay. Everyone around him seemed to know that, of course, and probably even his mother had known before her death. It wasn't as if he had made it a secret anyway, right? There was nothing to hide and Oswald had never really cared about any of this. »And even if … Okay.« He sat up again sharply on the bed. »Let's imagine for a second here that Jim Gordon could be gay or bisexual or any of that - Why would he date someone like me then? I mean look at me, Ed … I am really not the type Jim Gordon would want, right? The entire school would laugh at him. Form Barbara Kean to Oswald Cobblepot? Come on.«

Edward paused in his pacing and just looked at him for a long moment as if he was trying to think of something clever to say in regards to Oswald’s comments about himself but, in the end, there was nothing he could say. They both knew that Oswald was speaking the truth. He was not in the same league as Barbara Kean. Heck, they were not even in the same universe for that matter.

»I am convinced that Jim will be of a very different opinion if he first sees you for who you are.«

»And who am I?«

»A bright young man who is not easily disheartened.« Ed smirked. »A strong man. A man who cannot be bargained with. A man who answers to no one but himself.«

Edward Nygma’s words were still resonating in his head even hours after he had left the house to go meet up with his girlfriend at her place - undoubtedly hoping to see her sister there too. He appreciated that Edward had not tried to sugarcoat anything, that he had not even tried to come up with something to make Oswald feel better about himself and his appearance. Still, _a man who cannot be bargained with? A man who answers to no one but himself?_ He didn't quite know if this sounded like him in any which way.

Maybe he would become that kind of person at some point in the future.

No matter where he turned, he couldn't escape Fish’s scrutinizing looks and as they sat down for dinner this evening it was even worse than before ever since Ed had left the house. »Does it still hurt?« Fish asked waving her fork in the general direction of his face. Almost she would have sent a piece of potato flying everywhere with this gesture. He missed his mother’s cooking.

»No.« He sighed, tempted to jump from his seat and just walk out instead of talking with his foster mother about what had happened at school. For his liking that had been discussed far more than enough already. At least Fish and he were alone as Butch was out with Tabby. »Really, it's okay and you don't need to go to my school and beat up Jerome either. I am fine, Fish. I’m not new to this whole spiel, okay?«

»I know.« Fish replied leaning back into her chair. »But Oswald I just want you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way, okay? You can talk to me about it. You can talk to me about everything. I am here for you.«

»And then what?« He finally snapped. »What? What are you going to do then, Fish?« He finally put his own fork down. It wasn't as if he would be hungry anyway. »Are you going to march into that school or that circus and talk to Jerome Valeska and ask him not to bully me anymore?«

»I could talk to the principal.«

»Come on, Fish!« He laughed and rose from his spot. »I don't need you to play mommy dearest for me, okay? I am good on my own! I always was so cut the crap already! I don't need anyone to take care of me!«

He didn't know why he was so upset or on edge, he didn't know why his nerves were so raw and why he was jumping out of his skin at every twist and turn. He felt like he was strapped to a roller coaster and completely without control. He was not even able to make his own decisions anymore. Everyone around him seemed to make decisions for him and he hated it. The feeling of drowning seemed never to go away, only the circumstances changed. He was drowning. All the time drowning. And the people around him, instead of pulling him back to the surface, were tying weights to his feet.

»I just want to help you, Oswald, and make sure you have everything you need.« Fish sighed. »I am not your enemy!«

»Then get out of my hair!«

※※※※※※※

»So you made yourself a new friend today, huh?« Isabella asked as they sat at the kitchen table in her house with their noses in their books. Not that any of them needed to study that much but to him, graduation was right around the corner and Isabella was always working her ass off. She wanted to get into a good college after all. »Oswald Cobblepot.« She then added carefully and glanced at him over the rim of her glasses. Although she hated her sister, she wore the exact same kind of glasses. It was a little odd to him especially because she had gotten them only after Kristen had already bought them. »I heard about how you helped him from Tabitha Galavan a little earlier, she is dating that giant Butch Gilzean and Butch is-«

»Oswald’s foster brother, I know.« Ed interrupted her with a small wave of his pen. Heck, as if he would need anyone to explain the situation to him. »I brought him home and met his foster family. I have classes with Butch.«

»I have classes with Oswald.« Isabella smiled in return.

»So what do you think about him then?«

»Well« She sighed and leaned back in her chair. The expression on her face was thoughtful as if her next words could decide the fate of the universe. Kristen didn't take everything as seriously as her sister and though he liked it that Isabella was serious about her life and about the things she would be saying, it was exhausting too. Not everything was a life or death situation, after all, and not everything she said would be used against her in the court of public opinion. »He is really weird.« She concluded her thought. »But he seems really smart too. He doesn't talk much in class and most people are avoiding him. He has a weird attitude for sure and isn't much fun to be around but I think that could change if he would just find the right group of friends. Then again, I don't think that it's much of a surprise. He just lost his mother not even half a year ago. I mean, he was always weird even before then but have you seen his mother? She was definitely a little cuckoo so no wonder he turned out like this. Still, he has my compassion, I mean, he is all alone now, right?«

»His foster mother seems nice enough.« Ed remembered how this woman had taken care of Oswald and how fierce she had been when she had heard about what had happened to her _little bird_. To her, Oswald was more than a charge that had been dropped off at her doorstep, more than just a job. It was obvious that she cared. »She was furious when she heard what happened to Oswald today at school. She’s like a lioness.«

»Then it's a good thing that he has someone like her, I think.« Isabella nodded but something in her tone of voice told him that there was something else she wanted to say to him. She wouldn't, though. At least not as long as Edward wouldn't outright ask her.

»What do you mean to say?«

»I was just wondering.« She shrugged and brushed a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. Her dying her hair white blonde half a year ago had only been a sorry attempt of distinguishing herself from her sister. »I mean … People talk, you know? And you are on the verge of greatness for certain. By the end of this year, you can pick and choose between the best colleges in the U.S. So, I am just wondering if he really needs you as his friend at his side now that he has this awesome foster mother. I don't want you to get into any trouble just by associating with him. You know how easily rumors spread.«

»I don't understand your point.« He frowned. »Do you really think that me associating with Oswald could get me in trouble or even cost me my scholarship if I even get one? We all know that only the athletes get scholarships anyway.«

»I’m just saying that associating with someone like Oswald Cobblepot will probably not work in your favor. Not to mention the fact that everyone knows he is gay. Surely you don't wish others to think that you might swing this way too, right?«

» _Swing this way_?« Ed huffed. »Really, Isabella … Do you even hear yourself talk? What's wrong with him being gay and what does this have to do with me? Just in case you haven't noticed but I am dating you, right?«

He was growing restless again. He was growing irritated by her behavior. He knew that Isabella was a very jealous and possessive person no matter what kind of person was stepping into Edward’s life besides her. She would never have any of this. And if she would think that Oz would be a threat to their relationship, she would fight him off with claws and teeth. Maybe this trait of hers would be endearing in someone else. Kristen perhaps … Hell, it would even be endearing coming from Oswald. Coming from Isabella, however, was strangely off-putting and Ed couldn't help but wonder if she might be aware of the fact that she was only second choice anyway and if that was the reason why she was fighting for him so hard.

»I know.« She said after a moment of hesitation and gently put her lily-white hand on top of his. »I know that, Sweetheart. And I know you love me as I love you, right? I’m just saying … I don't know what to think about Oswald and his … his intentions, you know?«

»He is not after me just because he is gay, Isabella.«

»What makes you sure of that?«

»Because he is in love with someone else and wants my help to get this person to notice him.«

The way she was worrying her bottom lip between her teeth told him more than enough that she was still not buying it. »He could just say this just to gain your trust and getting close to you, right? And … I mean, even if he is honest with what he is saying … People will think he is after you and that you guys have something going on, right? Just imagine what your father would say to this if he would ever find out about your new friend Oswald.«

»Don't worry about my father, Isabella.« He growled as he finally rose from his spot at the table to pack up all his stuff.

»Ed … Where are you going?« She didn't rise from her spot because she knew that there was no way to stop Ed when he had made up his mind. He was not much of a shouter but he had definitely his father's bad temper - and Isabella knew this. Sometimes he even wondered if Isabella might be a little afraid of him because of this and if this was a good or a bad thing. A part of him liked the idea that she was a little scared of him at times just because of the sheer force behind Edward’s intentions and motives which she surely didn't even quite understand. No one did. Sometimes he wondered if anyone would ever be able to understand him and the darkness lingering behind his eyes. He had never met anyone who shared what he felt and thought and yet, as he shouldered his bag to leave, he couldn't help but think back to Oswald.

There was something behind Oswald’s blue eyes that just spoke to Ed and he couldn't even quite name what it was yet. Maybe one could call it kinship. Maybe that was a little much to say.

»Home.« Ed replied finally after he had already made his way to the kitchen door. »My Dad’s probably waiting for me already. It's getting late. See you at school tomorrow.« They both knew that his father was not really waiting for him. Why would he anyway? He was probably not even home but somewhere drinking himself to death or, if he was at home, already passed out in front of the TV like it was so often his habit. At some point, Ed had stopped caring. He wanted to claim that he and his father had gotten along in the past and that their relationship was only so strained ever since his mother had tragically passed away but that would be a lie. Their relationship had always been strained.

It had only grown worse since his mother's death but that was hardly a surprise. They were fighting on a daily basis over the most mundane and stupid things. His father was not the most intelligent man and he didn’t understand his son. To him, Edward was a disappointment in every aspect of the word.

He wasn't very athletic except for his talent as a swimmer and as he had left the swim team to focus more and more on his academics so shortly before he would leave for college, had only made his father even more furious. His mother had been the intelligent one but her intelligence hadn't been able to protect her from the sickness she had ultimately succumbed to. In his father's eyes, he could do nothing right and furthermore was a wuss for even trying to achieve academic heights. When he had first told his father that he dreamed of becoming a doctor or a forensic scientist, he had laughed at him and called him a freak for wanting to play around with dead bodies. That was how little his father knew about the real world outside of his TV.

Isabella was not entirely wrong and he knew that. After he had left the house without waiting for her to say something else to him, he closed his coat against the cold breath of the approaching autumn and walked down the street in long strides towards his old green car. It had been his mother's before her death and his father would have destroyed it, had Ed not begged him to keep it. Would his father learn that his new friend Oswald Cobblepot was gay, he would be furious. Apparently, the worst thing that could ever happen to him was that his son would turn out to be a fag. That was at least how his father tended to behave amongst his friends or Ed whenever he would lose his temper over the fags on TV again.

He would never forget how relieved his father had been as Edward had told him that he had a girlfriend and how ashamed he had been as his father had then started talking to him about all the things he could do with that girl. To his father, he was probably not even like his son but some strange roommate that he couldn't get rid of. More often than not, Ed was glad whenever he would return home and find his father fast asleep on the couch. He wasn't always as lucky, of course.

As he drove through town on his way home, he drove past the small townhouse of Miss Mooney again and saw light in one of the upstairs bedrooms. He could only imagine how Oswald sat at his desk now and was trying to do his homework and wondered if his new friend sometimes felt the same way as he did. Did he too feel as if no one truly understood him? He was clearly a boy who carried around a lot of ballast that he couldn't quite seem to talk about just like him as well. A part of him wondered if it had been inevitable that they would become alleys. Jim Gordon, he wondered, would probably never understand Oswald as much as he did.

It wasn't as if he wouldn't like Jim. He did like him. Jim was one of the very few good people in this city, one of the very few people who actually cared about others around him and yet Jim was a man who could never understand the hardships of other people around him for he had never needed to face those himself. He was from a good family, his father was a very respected DA, his mother a beautiful socialite who was famed for the way she took care of her boys and all the charitable things she did in her community. He came from a picture-perfect family and thus he would never understand people like Oswald or Ed fully. At least he tried to be nice to them and that was more than most people did already. He was making an effort to be kind and treat others with respect. Most people in Gotham didn't.

Ed was certainly no one who wished harm on others but he knew that people like Jim Gordon usually did not tend to survive for long in this unforgiving city. But what about him? And what about Oswald Cobblepot? Were they people who could make it in Gotham or were they bound to lose their lives too in time? Would this city chew them up and spit them out like all the other people? Oswald seemed strong even though he didn't know it himself yet.

There was just something about the younger teenager that drew Edward towards him, a certain sense of grace and strength he couldn't describe yet. If anyone could make it, it would be Oswald, he was sure of that.

He arrived at his house as the sun was already setting. It was just another narrow townhouse in a row of uniform looking houses. The light in the living room window that led to the street in front of the house was on and so he knew that his father was there before he even saw his dad’s truck in front of the house. He parked his car right behind his father’s truck and shut the engine off. Yet, as he looked to the house and saw movement behind the window, he couldn't bring himself to get out of the car.

For some reason, this day had worn him out even more than usual. Maybe it was the sheer cruelty he had witnessed from Jerome Valeska towards Oswald. A cruelty that he just could not quite fathom despite his best efforts. Just as he saw a shadow approach the window and lift the dirty curtains to look outside, Edward switched the engine back on and drove off without any destination in mind at all. He didn't particularly care where he was headed anyway. All he cared for was not going home as long as his father was at home and awake. Maybe that was the behavior of a coward but after the day he had had, he didn't much care about what it looked like.

Jerome’s crazy grin was still etched in his memory and he couldn't get the noises Oswald had made in his distress out of his brain. He had been like a broken bird and though he knew that this was probably the last thing Oswald would want anyone to think about him, it was what he had felt and it was probably what Fish Mooney also felt whenever she would look at her foster son. Surely, she was protective of Butch too, since he was with her for a lot longer than Oswald and yet it wasn’t even nearly the same. Butch was big and strong and Oswald a boy who seemed to attract people who wanted to harm him.

As he was driving through Gotham, he thought about returning to Isabella and convince her to let him stay the night even though he knew that this would not be happening. Her parents were extremely strict in this matter and were gladly turning a blind eye to what Kristen was doing when she would be _studying_ at her boyfriend's house. Never in this life would her parents allow Edward even to sleep in the living room. That her parents didn't particularly like him was not working in his favor either. They welcomed Dougherty with open arms into their house even though he was violent to their daughter but Ed … Ed was weird.

Then the thought crossed his mind that he could go to Oswald, ask him if he could stay and yet … he didn't want to scare his new friend off already. Oswald had so many problems of his own now with Jerome back in town. He could not possibly burden him with his own crap too.

As he arrived at the school and parked his car, it was already dark out and the only source of light the lampposts all around the empty parking lot. Besides his own car, there were only a handful of others around. Probably the cars of teachers who were working overtime or from some of the students who were still working on projects. When it came to students who didn't like to go home, Edward was only one of many. He knew that and for the athletes, it wasn’t odd to stay late anyway.

For some reason, Ed was drawn into the building and the pool where the swim team would be practicing usually. He missed the days when he had still been part of the team. Sure, he hadn't had friends in the team and no one had really talked to him except Jim Gordon but he had liked it anyway. He had been part of something and he had not been alone. However, even if he wanted to go back to the team, he knew that they wouldn't take him back anyway. They were probably glad to have gotten rid of him.

The hallways were only dimly lit at this hour of the day and it wouldn't be long now until the building would be locked up. Just two more hours until the safe haven of many of the students here would be locked and force them to retreat back into the nightmarish reality of their homes. Others might find it creepy to walk these hallways when the lights were already dimmed and the world outside dark but Ed found it actually quite soothing as he passed classrooms and lockers on his way to the gym where a flight of stairs would lead him down further into the bowels of the school.

»Nygma?« Oh, he should have known that it would be a bad idea to come to this place. »What are you doing here this late?« He had barely made it to the doors that would lead down to the pool as Jim Gordon had walked out of one of the bathrooms to his left-hand side and captured Ed’s arrival. Who else but Jim Gordon would be here this late in the day and happen to run into him? Ed was not even surprised, to say the least.

»What's nowhere but everywhere except where something is?« The answer - Well, the riddle - came so quickly that it would be easy to tell by really anyone that this was only one of his many defense mechanisms. He hadn't even thought about it. Most people hated his riddles. Most people didn't know the answers to his riddles. Isabella loved them but she loved everything he did and that was awfully annoying!

»Nothing.« Jim replied much to his surprise and Ed was certain that his surprise was even quite evident on his fate despite his best efforts in masking it. However, even in the dim lights of the hallway, Jim’s smirk was not threatening and not condescending but friendly, amused even. »So you came here for nothing? I find that hard to believe, Ed.«

»Well, what are you doing here?« Ed countered quickly as he burrowed his hands in the pockets of his coat. He was taller than Jim, as he was taller than most people around him but when he would be facing off with Jim Gordon he tended to feel a bit smaller than usual. Perhaps because Jim had it all. The perfect pretty girlfriend - even though she was a crazy bitch - the good looks, the perfect family. People liked him and flocked towards him. It was hard not to like Jim Gordon. He himself on the opposite tried so desperately to be normal and to be liked yet never succeeded.

»I helped Barb with something earlier.« Jim shrugged the question off with a small sigh that clearly told of his discomfort when thinking about this exact topic.

»How did it go?«

The grimace he pulled spoke louder than a hundred words. »What do you think?« He then chuckled. »Of course, it went splendidly. It took us almost half an hour to start fighting this time, I don't know about you, but I call this progress. Anyway, I thought I might go for a swim to cool down after this. My parents and my brother aren't home tonight so no one is waiting for me anyway. Care to join?«

»I don't have my trunks with me.« Another defense mechanism, perhaps.

»So what? Swim in your boxers.« He huffed and then drove a hand through his hair. »I mean ... I would really appreciate it, Ed. I could use someone to talk to … and I have the feeling you do too.«

Jim Gordon wanted to spend time with him. Jim Gordon, the prince of Gotham High actually wanted his company tonight to talk and get stuff off his chest. How could he say no to this? And, as the darker part of his brain reminded him, he might use this opportunity to even plant the first seed of fulfilling his part of a certain deal.

»Okay.« Ed finally managed to reply with a small smile of his own.

Getting changed didn't take long for both of them after they had walked into the changing rooms of the pools and not long after that, they found themselves taking their positions on the starting blocks, side by side. It seemed a lifetime ago since Edward had been standing here, getting ready to jump into the cold water, every thought vanishing from his mind as only the thrill of the seconds before the start of a race took hold of his mind.

»Ready?« Jim’s voice echoed from the tiled walls of the pool. »Set!«  Ed bent down and grabbed the edge of the starting block with his right hand. »Go!« He didn't think as he jumped into the water. He didn't think as his body was going through the motions or as he tried to best Jim Gordon. For a moment, nothing mattered but the water around him and the silence that was only disrupted by the sound of splashing water.

Of course, he couldn't beat Jim but that wasn't important. As they returned to the starting block, Ed was not far behind Jim but Jim’s victory was clear anyway to no one's surprise. Jim Gordon was not the captain of the swim team without reason. Ed was out of breath as he reached the edge of the pool and crossed his arms on the tiles in front of him but Jim had the audacity to have enough breath left to chuckle.

»I missed this!« Jim suddenly grinned. »I missed swimming with you, DUde.«

»What?« Ed huffed. »Why? Because I'm not much of a challenge?«

»No, you Dingus!« Jim laughed as he splashed a bit of water in Ed’s direction. Without his glasses on, Jim’s face in the darkness was a blurry blotch. This late in the day only a few of the usual lights were on, just enough to still safely use the pool. »Because you were the only one in the team who really meant a challenge. It's such a shame you left the team! I wished you would come back.«

»I think you are the only one who thinks that way.« Every normal person would probably say that this wasn't true and that everyone wanted him back in the team but Jim Gordon was an honest guy and so, with a roll of his eyes and a small sigh he turned his body towards Ed and held onto the edge only with his right hand.

»So what? The others are all idiots anyway.« He huffed and shrugged his shoulders. »You know, most people in high school are so busy with their own problems that they like to put their frustrations on others who might be a bit different than they are and you, Ed Nygma, are indeed different.«

»Like Oswald Cobblepot?« Where did this even come from?

»Yeah…« Jim sighed with a fond little smile creeping on his face - He might be having a stroke, it really was hard to tell without his glasses and Jim’s tendency to look constipated when he smiled. »Just like Oz. Butch told me earlier that you helped Oz today, right? I didn't know you were friends.«

»We are now.« Ed shrugged. »I couldn't just sit there and do nothing while Jerome Valeska tortured him, right?«

»There were more than enough others who were fine with doing just that.« Jim smirked. »You are a good guy, Ed, don't let anyone tell you something else, okay? Anyway, I’m glad that Oz found a friend in you. God knows he could use a few more friends that treat him well. Is he okay?«

»Yeah.« He mumbled. »I think his pride is what suffered the most today but he’ll get over it. He is a tough little bird, isn't he?«

»Still, must be hard for him. Losing his mom and all of this. I hope you can convince him to get back to his training with Bullock. It really would be the best for him to get a better grip on his disability. And maybe then the old grouch would finally stop pestering me about it.« Bullock was always a handful and though the policeman did not seem very fond of Ed, whenever they would meet at the pool, at least Ed could appreciate the effort the cop took in teaching youngsters how to swim or take care of people like Oswald in his free time and with no monetary gain no less.

»I see what I can do.« Ed promised with a lopsided smirk.

»He is stubborn. It won't be easy.«

»So I've noticed.« It was surely not what Jim wanted to talk about but since their conversation was headed in this direction, Ed might as well take the chance, right? »You seem to like Oswald quite a bit. I didn't know you were friends.«

»I wouldn't go that far.« Jim chuckled. »We aren't really friends but I know him for a while, you know? I was the lifeguard when he first learned how to swim a few years ago. I remember how his mother actually forced him to come to the pool.  So I’ve seen him pretty often during that summer and saw how the other kids picked on him. I don't know … I just kept an eye on him ever since. Probably my lifeguard instincts, right?«

He wanted to say that Oswald didn't need anyone to keep an eye on him and that he was no damsel in distress but this wouldn't help Oswald’s case, he assumed. »Maybe.« Ed smirked. »Still, he is a lot tougher than he looks. But I take it you didn't want to talk about Oswald, right? Why did you fight with Barbara?«

»Today?« Jim laughed. »Heck, why _don't_ I fight with Barbara? It seems that I can do nothing right lately. All I ever get to hear from here is how I can't make time for her anymore. And when I do make time for her, like today, she is busy with her cheerleading crap or taking on some extra project as if she _wants_ to evade me.« He brushed through his hair again. »I mean I know she isn't happy in this relationship anymore and I am not happy anymore either. Still, she refuses to say something or break up with me.«

»What about you? Why don't you break up with her then?« Jim was confiding in him. Actually confiding in him and Ed was the executioner who held the rope that held the blade of the guillotine over Jim and Barbara’s relationship.

»I … I don't know.« Jim sighed. »Maybe I am a coward but I like to believe that we can still get this thing to work, right? We just need to pull through and pull ourselves together, right?«

»You don't sound convinced.«

With another deep sigh, Jim rested his forehead against the edge of the pool. »I know, right? I should be the bigger person and break up with her, shouldn't I? It's unfair to us both, at the end of the day. I mean, how is she supposed to go on with her life and find someone who might be better for her when I keep holding her back?«

This was a lot easier than he would have thought, the rope was already slipping through his hands. Soon Oswald would get his chance to woo Jim and would be probably a lot more motivated to fulfill his end of the deal. Before he could rejoice, though, Jim was taking up his attention again. »And what about you and Isabella?« He suddenly asked but before Ed could ask him about it, he continued. »I mean … You don't seem happy with her.«

»It's complicated.« Ed shrugged it off. »Isabella is sweet and caring but it's sometimes a little exhausting being with her.«

Jim’s hand on his shoulder took him by surprise just like Jim’s invitation before. »I am confident that you make it work, Ed. You two are perfect for each other.«

And yes, maybe Jim was right. Maybe Isabella and he were perfect for each other. Maybe she was his perfect choice. However, even though Edward was a man striving for perfection in every aspect of his life … he didn't want the perfect girlfriend. He didn't want someone who loved his riddles. He didn't want someone who laughed about his crappy jokes all the time. He didn't want someone who looked at him like he had hung the moon in the sky.

 

**-End of Chapter 5-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think, it means the world to me <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story will be a lot longer than I originally planned xD

He hated Algebra with a passion. He didn't care for it and he wasn't good at it either. It didn't help that he had missed at least two months of school before the summer thanks to his accident and his mother’s untimely death. However, the Algebra class held at least one good thing for him as it gave him an opportunity to talk to Kristen Kringle without any ridiculous pretense. He was still not completely on board with Edward's stupid plan and yet, well, he might as well give it a try. It was all too possible that he would not get very far with Kristen anyway. She was a friendly girl, that much was without question, but ever since the start of high school, Oswald had never really talked to her whenever it had not been necessary for the class.

Honestly, Kristen Kringle was the type of girl who probably hadn't even known he existed before he had returned to school with a crutch and a newfound tragic backstory. She was popular and good-natured so people like Oswald usually flew under the radar of people like her.

As he reached his usual desk next to the one Kristen sat at on this morning he sat down a little heavier than necessary with a small little sigh. He had taken extra care to drag his right leg a little more than usual as he had seen Kristen already at her place. They were, as usual, the first in the classroom. Leaning his crutch against the side of the table before putting his backpack aside, he made sure that the crutch would lean in such a way that it would slide down and fall and as it did, Kristen, Kristen, as always the attentive cheerleader and former girl scout, caught his crutch and glanced at him in sympathy.

»Everything okay there, Oswald?«

He could understand why Ed liked her more than her sister. Isabella often left the impression of a particularly cold fish, uncaring for anyone who was not her boyfriend whom she guarded with claws and teeth like a harpy or a rabid dog. Kristen, on the other hand, was always helpful and kind which made it only all the easier to get to her. And the same was true for the boys Kristen tended to attract. She was the type of girl who attracted boys like Tom Dougherty or Arnold Flask, bullies and jocks who liked making other people feel weak and insignificant. She was the type of girl who thought she would be able to change guys like them.

Edward Nygma was a whole other can of worms in this regard. He didn't know yet where Ed fell on that spectrum. He did not seem like a bad person per se. He did not seem like an abusive person. Then again, what did he really know about Ed Nygma? He was certainly a broken thing just like Oswald was and that too seemed to be a thing Kristen herself found attractive. Still, if Ed would help him to get closer to Jim, so be it.

They were truly rotten, the both of them.

»Yes, I am fine.« He mumbled a bit quieter than usual before he slumped his shoulders in defeat. He relished the moment as Kristen’s gaze turned more and more concerned before he finally voiced his frustration with a deep sigh. »No, actually I am not … I spent hours on this stupid Algebra homework and I bet you that it's still wrong! I am just so done with this crap! I will never get it!«

Kristen did not disappoint him as she reacted just as he had expected her to. She pulled her chair closer to his desk right away, bridging the distance between them easily with a soft smile while the other students were trickling into the room one after the other. »Come, let me take a look.« She smiled at him warmly as she pulled over the binder he had placed onto his table before. »I am quite good at this stuff. If you want to, I could give you a few private lessons just until you got back into the groove. I can imagine that it has to be difficult after what happened before the summer.«

»Oh … That's too kind, Kristen. I could not possibly-«

»Of course you can, Oswald.« She smiled. »It's no big deal, I promise.«

And just like that, Kristen Kringle had caught the bait as Oswald smiled and nodded with a little bit of hesitation still left. Just enough to sell it. Almost it had been a little too easy in his mind. However, of course, the Isabella problem still remained - but that was not really his problem, right? It was Ed who had to deal with his girlfriend.

And yet, at the lesson began not too long afterward, Oswald could not help but feel a little proud of himself and his manipulation tactic. Kristen had caught the bait hook line and center and now that he had done the first step and had her attention, selling Edward to her would be easy enough. After all, Edward Nygma was a good looking guy and smart too. A part of him wondered even if Ed might be a little too good for someone as naive and silly as Kristen Kringle.

Their first study session came that same day as Kristen offered him to go to the school library that afternoon after their shared French class and though he really didn't care about his Algebra grades, he cared for upholding his end of the deal like any gentleman would. His mother had always drilled the importance of upholding a promise into his mind and now he could not possibly risk disappointing Edward. Kristen turned out to be a very patient teacher - much more so than his own mother had been at times. They had sat down at the first free table available not too far away from the library doors. Most students had already left or were at their clubs. He would be on his way home now too as he didn't quite like spending more time than necessary at school. It wasn’t that he was stupid - quite the contrary - he was just not very good in the academic field of things. Still, here he was, listening to Kristen explain what he had a hard time understanding with the patience of a saint.

However, her friendly demeanor turned sour as she glanced towards the doors after a while.

»Urgh.« Kristen huffed suddenly. Half an hour had passed since they had sat down at their table and Oswald only looked up as she leaned in closer towards him almost conspiratorial. »Don't look. Just my stupid sister and her weird boyfriend.«

As he glanced over to the door as inconspicuous as possible, he saw Ed and Isabella enter the library and sit down at one of the smaller free tables close to the entry doors. To him, it was an enigma why someone as intelligent as Ed Nygma would sit down at the school library to study. Certainly, the best colleges of the U.S. were already trying to get their hands on him. As far as he knew, Ed was a straight-A student. Of course, there was always the chance that he was only doing this to keep his girlfriend company, but to Oswald, it was pretty clear that this explanation would only be a lazy copout. After all, Ed did not really care for her so, if he wouldn't want to be here, he would have no qualms leaving her to study alone, right? It wasn’t the first time that Oswald noticed that Ed tried to avoid going home as much as he could without raising suspicion.

»Ed?« He finally turned to Kristen in feigned surprise and she raised her brows.

»Yes. Edward Nygma. You know him?«

»We are friends, actually. He helped me the other day.« He pointed to his bruised face as nonchalantly as humanly possible before looking down onto the book in front of him so that Ed and Isabella would not feel stared at. »He came to my aid when Jerome beat me up in the yard.«

»Really?« Kristen asked with surprise written all over her pretty pale face as she cast a quick glance at Ed and her sister again. »I never thought Ed was so brave.«

»But he is!« Oswald quickly replied in a hushed voice as to not draw unwanted attention towards them. »Ed is really nice, actually. He is a good friend. He even helps me with my leg, you know?«

»Does he now?«

»Yes! In fact, I am meeting him tomorrow after school at the pool downstairs. He wants to help me to rebuild the strength in my leg.« Now he only needed to sell this same lie to Ed as well before it was too late. He would prefer a more private place, of course, but the school pool held the biggest chance that Kristen Kringle might accidentally stumble upon them as her boyfriend, Tom Dougherty, was in the swim team as well.

»That is … actually a good idea.« Kristen remarked as a thoughtful expression crept onto her face. »Wow, who would've thought that Ed Nygma had it in himself to care for someone else?«

»I think you are misjudging him.« He replied quietly and with a careful smile pulling at his lips. »Ed is really kind. Maybe you should give him a second chance. I know … you and your sister are not very close and you might even hold a grudge against her … But Ed is a good and caring guy.«

Kristen’s gaze turned a little sourer at his words and for just a second, Oswald was certain that he had said something wrong, gone a little too far, perhaps. However, then her gaze suddenly softened again. »You are a very observative person, Oswald.«

»One has to be when living in the shadows.«

»You don't live in the shadows, Oswald.« However, as if she felt that she had been caught in a blatant lie or as if she had added insult to injury, she quickly added: »Not anymore, at least« and placed her left hand on his right for a second. »I know you haven't had it easy in this school before but I think we will change that this year.«

The bitter part of his mind wanted to spit that it had only taken his newfound disability and the death of his mother for that or that he didn't need her sympathy or help now after all of that. Instead, he smiled shyly.

»Thank you, Kristen. You are a good friend and I am very grateful for that.« In fact, he was very grateful for naive people like Kristen Kringle who so desperately wanted to believe in the good in other human beings.

※※※※※※※

Of all the things he thought he would be doing on a Friday afternoon after school, standing in the swimming pool of his high school as he was helping a fellow student to balance in the water was certainly something that had never crossed his mind before. Even under normal circumstances, Oswald Cobblepot was a lightweight in more than just one aspect of the word. In the water, however, he weighed nothing at all to Ed as he had his hands underneath Oswald’s back to hold him up just enough whenever his own balance failed him. This was only one of the techniques he had picked up from watching Bullock at the pool. It was important to restore Oswald’s trust in the element before they could move forward and even more important to have him be able to balance his own body in the water. He knew that Oswald, even before the accident, had never been a great swimmer and that he had learned it pretty late too.

»Remind me why we are doing this.« Edward sighed as he nudged his body back into the right position once again while Oswald was trying his best not to make a complete idiot out of himself. He had the posture of a slob under normal circumstances but it was only worse in the water. He seemed to have no muscle strength in his back to keep it straight! With a sigh, he nudged Oswald to turn around on his stomach and grabbed both his hands. Walking backward through the pool he could easily drag Oswald with him as the other boy was getting back into the groove with the leg motions. He had, of course, troubles with his right leg and bending his knee enough but if they wouldn't try this, they would never make actual progress.

»Because I told Kristen that you are helping me with this.« Oswald replied and shot him a glare that would make grandma Nygma die on the spot. »She seemed intrigued.«

»We could have done this at the community pool.«

»But how would Kristen then be able to stumble upon us to bear witness what a fine gentleman you are, Edward?« Oswald then huffed and promptly swallowed a mouth full of water. Ed could not deny that he felt a certain sense of satisfaction witnessing the trouble that Oswald had. »Would you stop laughing and take this more seriously? Or do you wish to drown me, Nygma?«

»Sorry, sorry!« Ed smirked before he let go of Oswald completely.

»Jesus, Ed! I mean … I am helping you to get the girl of your dreams, after all. A bit more careful with your matchmaker here.« As he stood before Ed now, the water reached up to his shoulders easily while it only reached up to underneath Ed’s chest. There was this small voice in the back of his head that sounded an awful lot like Isabella, wondering whether or not Oswald looked at him with interest now that Ed was almost naked before him. Or was Oswald only interested in Jim Gordon? »Then again, maybe I shouldn't help you? After all, you don't seem to have done anything regarding your end of the deal.«

»Oh, but I have.« Ed couldn't help the grin that was spreading over his face. »Didn't you notice how much more sour Barbara Kean’s mood was today?«

»I did.« He huffed. »She shoved me so hard against my locker that it left a bruise. Why?«

»I believe Jimbo broke up with her.«

»And why do you believe that?«

»Because your’s truly had a little heart to heart with Jim Gordon a couple of days ago.«

»You had what?«

»You heard me.« Ed replied a bit more smug than he needed to be but he relished in the fact that his words of advice might have prompted Jim to actually break up with that nasty girl. »But maybe we should talk about that someplace else - just in case. We wouldn't want anyone to hear about that, do we? What do you think about diner food?«

Where this idea had come from, he couldn't quite tell. Asking Oswald to join him for dinner at the diner just seemed the normal thing to do. They were friends, right? That was what friends would do. Friends would enjoy crappy diner food together and just be normal.

»I think it's gross and my mother told me about how the cooks in those restaurants spit in your burgers.«

»I see, you are just as excited about it as I. Excellent.« However, before Oswald could articulate the confusion that so clearly spoke out of his electric blue eyes, someone else caught Ed’s attention just at this very moment as the glass doors to the pool opened through which usually only visitors came. Sure enough, it was Kristen Kringle who’s red hair was illuminated beautifully by the loud neon lights of the pool as she walked in, her pale hands holding onto one strap of her old weathered brown leather backpack. She was wearing her favorite green cardigan today, the one with the pearl buttons and the little rose embroideries at the collar. Hell … He loved that cardigan on her.

Kristen was looking around the pool as if she was looking for someone and it didn't need a detective to know who she was looking for either. Of course, the swim team was not yet here but would arrive shortly. She should know these things but Edward would pretend otherwise just for the sake of it. For the first time ever as Kristen’s eyes fell upon him, her face actually lit up in a smile as she came to a halt at the edge of the pool.

»Hey, Kristen!« He called out for her with a small wave and prompted Oswald to turn around as well.

»Hey, guys!« She waved at them with a pleasant smile. »Have you seen Tom?«

»Not yet.« Ed replied quickly and exchanged a small gaze with Oswald. »I believe the swim team will be here in ten minutes or so. We are just about to wrap it up here.«

»Oh!« She exclaimed with a sweet smile that she usually would only grant her friends or _Tom_. »Of course, how silly of me. Thanks, Ed. I am just gonna wait outside then.«

He wouldn't have thought that it would be this easy or that Oswald's plan would work this quickly on Kristen. Yet, here she was, saying his name with such warmth that he felt the heat creeping into his cheeks despite the cold water. As they were climbing out of the pool, Ed took extra time to help Oswald with as much care and kindness as if he was taking care of grandma Nygma in the nursing home while Kristen was taking her sweet time to leave the pool.

And Oswald certainly did not disappoint in playing the role of the helpless participant either. He had to admit, they were a good team and Oswald was deliciously wicked the way he clung to Ed in climbing up the ladder with his help.

It was not even two hours later that Edward found himself sitting across the table from Oswald in one of Gotham's many fifty inspired diners, a plate with fries and an unhealthy looking burger in front of him and his glass with an ice cold sparkling coke in his left hand. »I cannot believe that your plan worked so quickly.« He muttered between two sips before he put down his glass and watched Oswald who was just shoving his fries around on his plate as if he had never before seen diner food - or fries for that matter. Then again, his mother had been a cook and a good one at that too, as far as Edward knew at least. Surely, Oswald's mother had taken great care that her son would not eat junk food. Maybe that was Oswald's secret for staying so stick thin. His own was just a hyperactive metabolism and the fact that his body just wouldn't stop growing until he would be freakishly tall.

»Don't get your hopes up too soon, Ed.« Oswald criticized as he glanced at him before he finally decided that he would end the misery of the fries he had grasped between his thin fingers as he shoved them into his mouth with a thoughtful expression. He got the idea that Oswald was not really contemplating the taste of the fries, though. »I mean, yes, Kristen turned up at the pool as expected but now we have to keep this up. You are aware of this, right? And we need to make actual progress - somehow. Even though I am still of the conviction that there is no way swimming will help me in any way with this leg.«

After seeing Oswald's leg up close and personal today, he couldn't deny that he understood his doubts. His leg was in a terrible state, there was no denying that and Edward was not nearly arrogant enough to claim that the therapy he could give Oswald would help him regain the ability to walk without pain or without a limp. Perhaps he would not need a crutch or a cane for the rest of his life though. After all, Oswald was still so very young and he was still growing. There was a chance that his leg might heal better than they expected - no matter how slim that chance may be.

»Anyway.« Edward broke through his own miserable thoughts. Oswald's leg was not the thing he should be focussing his mind on right now. He should focus on the mission. »I owe you a thank-you for your help. Consider yourself treated to this lovely dinner.«

The way he would roll those blue eyes never ceased to amaze Edward, just like the sound of Oswald's snort. Looking at him now, with his hair all disheveled and his clothes a bit more rumpled than usual, Edward truly wondered why Oswald couldn't seem to find any other guy who might be interested in him and was thus obsessing over Jim Gordon. True, he was not conventionally attractive but there was no denying that there was something about Oswald that was inherently different and enticing even. He was smart and could be funny when he brought his silver tongue to good use.

»I am forever grateful.« Oswald replied mockingly and waved another fry at him. »Won't your dad get mad that you ate dinner already?«

»My dad doesn't care what I do or don't do when I am not at home.« Edward replied as nonchalantly as possible. He was not yet completely comfortable with giving away too much information about his personal life. Even Isabella only knew what she had figured out herself and that was more than enough in Ed’s eyes.

»You don't like going home, huh?« It was more a statement than an actual question and for once it was Ed who was taken off guard by Oswald's observative skills. Had it been so obvious how he behaved? Maybe a bit too much time spent at the school’s library? Maybe a bit too much overtime at the community pool? Too many school activities?

Of course, there was always the chance that Oswald was just guessing things and tried to get Edward to lower his guard and tell things he might later use against Ed. Still, the look in his eyes was too certain of what he had just said, too knowing, too compassionate.

»Is it that obvious?« Ed huffed and grabbed a handful of fries himself now. Anything to excuse himself from talking.

»To me, it is, yes.« Oswald shrugged and lowered his gaze shortly. »I know that feeling.«

»Fish seems nice enough to me.« Edward frowned with his mouth full. »And Butch - though I don't like him - is not a bad guy either.«

»They are alright.« Oswald shrugged again before he slumped his shoulders and only then Edward started to realize that he was not at all talking about his foster family.

»You didn't get along with your mother?« Oswald's head shot up at this as if Ed had slapped him in the face and he knew that he had said something completely wrong, yet there was no way of taking it back and Oswald's reaction was too telling anyway.

»My mother was a saint.« His words came out a lot sharper than necessary.

»I am sure she was.« Ed sighed. »But even saints are flawed, Oswald, and your mother was human.« That only seemed to add to Oswald’s sudden burst of anger but before any of them could say anything else, the bell above the door of the diner rang and though Ed had his back to the door, he could see the color drain from Oswald's face even before he heard the tell-tale sing sang voice of one Jerome Valeska.

»Ozzy my friend!«

Why and how people like Jerome Valeska always managed to find their intended victim would forever be beyond Edward at this point. Then again, though Gotham was a big city, there weren't many diners in close proximity to the school and the circus wasn't too far away either. He didn't turn around to look at Jerome and his posse as they entered the diner but he heard Jerome approach their table right away. Of course, he didn't come alone. People like Jerome Valeska never came without an army.

»And Eddy Nygma!«

Jerome braced his hands on the table between Oswald and him as soon as he had reached them to lean a bit further down to show them both his largest and most toothy grin. Ed, on the other hand, gave his best impression of being unimpressed by the show Jerome was putting on. Behind Jerome's shoulder, Edward could see his twin brother Jeremiah who looked positively uncomfortable with the whole situation as he sat down at one of the tables a bit farther off. It was hard to pretend not to know a guy that looked exactly like oneself. Behind Jerome, a bunch of the usual scumbags stood and waited for the action to start. At least he knew that Oswald wasn't his only victim - though this made it hardly any better. Only yesterday, Ed had seen Jerome torment Jonathan Crane outside of the school with a self-made scarecrow.

»Out on a date, I see?« Jerome grinned as he stole a hand full of fries from Oswald's plate to shove it into his mouth right away - which, of course, did not keep him from talking. »I am very happy to see that you guys finally found each other! And here I was thinking that you had a girlfriend, Eddy. Anyway, congratulations, I think you guys make a cute couple. Two freaks united in love. How about a kiss?«

»Fuck off, Jerome.« Ed sighed even though everything inside of him screamed to get up and leave with Oswald before the situation could turn even uglier than it already got. Still, he didn't want to look as if they were fleeing from Jerome. It was bad enough that he couldn't go home as he wished because of his father and his drunken rage. He would not let himself get scared away by a clown like Jerome Valeska from a diner too.

»That's not very nice!« Jerome huffed. »Defending the honor of your girlfriend like you did the other day?«

The way Oswald had his lips tightly pressed together told him enough about the fact that he would not be able to speak even if he wanted to. Oswald's fear of Jerome seemed to make it impossible for him to speak up against him.

»Come on, Oz.« Ed finally turned to his new friend before he threw a few bills on the table. He really didn't wish to make it look like they were running away but he could not just sit here and have Jerome torment Oswald further when the other boy looked so shell-shocked just because he wanted to keep his face and uphold his pride. »Let's go.«

There was this voice in the back of his head that was raging and raving to not let Jerome treat either one of them like he was now, a voice demanding him to fight back and show Jerome who was in charge but Ed drowned the voice out as he always did when it got too loud. It was the same voice that would wake him up at night with fantasies about killing his own father in his sleep. Needless to say, he did not particularly like this voice. It was cocky and mean-spirited all the time, uncaring for the people around him.

As he wanted to get out of the booth, Jerome blocked his way and his friends were all too eager to help him. »Oh no, you are not leaving without a kiss!«

»Sorry, you are not my type.« Ed scoffed but was pushed back into the booth as he wanted to rise to his feet. »Cut it out, man!« He spat then truly enraged by the treatment of Jerome and his posse.

»Only when you give your girlfriend a kiss! I am sure the pretty little bird can’t wait for you to kiss him, right, Ozzy-baby?« Jerome had always been cruel, that was no secret but until now he had refrained from attacking older students like Edward. »If you won’t do it, I would gladly take over, Eddy. I know how to make ‘em scream.«

It was then that he finally had enough as he jumped to his feet and pushed Jerome back from their table before he quickly grabbed his back and Oswald's right arm to pull him to his feet as well. Inside the diner, Jerome would not be stupid enough to try anything especially now was the waitress seemed to have caught on to what was going on.

»Everything alright there, boys?« She called over at them and Jerome flashed her his most charming smile just as Edward was pulling Oswald towards the door after the younger boy had grabbed his belongings. Now they really were fleeing the scene.

With Oswald's limp and his crutch it was not exactly easy to leave quickly but as they managed to escape from the diner they almost hurried towards the parking lot. Despite the bit of advantage that they had, they just weren’t quick enough to reach his old green Beetle.

»Hey, Eddy!« The attack came completely out of the blue despite what had happened before. He wouldn't have thought that Jerome would come after them like this so quickly and yet, the kick in his back sent him flying into the mud as it pushed the air out of his lungs at once. »What's wrong, fag? Can't get it up?«

It was complete chaos what was happening after this. He could hear Oswald cry out not too far away from him but the world was spinning from the pain in his back and filled with the roaring laughter of Jerome’s followers. Only as he was yanked up by his hair came the world back into focus even though for just a moment before his entire world was filled by a pair of huge blue eyes and the feeling of something soft pressing against his own mouth. He couldn't breathe as his face was squished into Oswald’s without warning almost violently but the moment was over after a flash had shortly illuminated the parking lot.

»What the fuck is going on here?« The pressure against the back of his head seized and Ed was able to pull away to gasp for breath. Vaguely he heard Oswald doing the same thing but instead of looking at the younger boy, he was looking around for the source of the voice that was thundering across the parking lot.

»Jimmy!« Jerome laughed even before Ed could see Jim Gordon approach the scene with a group of his own friends, including Dougherty, much to his dismay. Apparently, he had taken his team for dinner at the diner after practice. Jerome, however, had turned away from Ed and Oswald on the ground to face Jim’s approaching group with as much bravado as if he was announcing the next performer in the circus. One day, he would make a great ringleader. »Come to join the fun?«

Only shortly Ed met Jim’s eyes as he approached the scene with crossed arms and a dark glare but then Jim’s gaze slipped to Oswald instead and he seemed even angrier. A good sign indeed. They were getting closer to their goal, as it seemed. Now all they had to do was to play their cards right and use this situation to their advantage. Jim and his group had come from the street in front of the diner and had probably heard the commotion in the parking lot. It wouldn't be like Jim to just ignore people in need of help. For once, even Ed was thankful for Jim Gordon’s hero complex.

»I would advise you guys to let go of them and leave now.« Jim finally said as he took a position in front of Jerome, behind him his friends like an army of loyal foot soldiers to their king. Jim knew how to lead, that was nothing new and the people flocked towards him because they liked his deep level of integrity and his firm moral code. Jim was a loyal friend and so people liked to be loyal to him as well. Jerome Valeska, on the other hand, was the antithesis to that and so he wouldn't back down quite this easily.

»Or else?« He grinned and tapped Jim on the arm playfully. As Jim's expression didn't change, though, Jerome sighed. »We are just trying to have a little fun here, Jimmy! Come on, don't be such a party pooper! We were just helping those two out a little so that they can move forward in their budding romance.«

Was this the first spark jealousy he could see in Jim's eyes as the captain of the swim team glanced at Ed and Oswald again quickly? Jealousy was a good thing in this case. It meant that he cared for Oswald. Brilliant!

»Leave them alone, Jerome.« Jim growled and his friends behind him moved even closer.

He could almost feel the electricity in the air as Jim and Jerome stared at each other in a silent duel of willpower, neither one of them willing to give in and leave the situation, neither one willing to budge. He knew that, if one of them make a wrong move, this situation would erupt into a fight quickly. And as the tension almost grew unbearable and Ed could almost hear a choir of violins pick up in the back of his head, Jerome finally sighed and slumped his shoulders with a shake of his head.

»You guys are no fun!« He exclaimed and threw his hands in the air in surrender before his goons let go of Ed and Oswald and followed him. And just like this, it was over. The spell had been broken. However, Ed was not naive enough to believe that Jerome would let it go so easily. He was planning something and he knew that there would be something even worse than this waiting for Oswald and him. Why the hell Jerome seemed so dead set on tormenting Oswald, however, was beyond him.

Jim was quick to help Oswald up as Edward scrambled to his feet by himself. Ed shared a small nod with Tom Dougherty as their eyes met when Tom gave him his backpack that had fallen into the mud before. He was an asshole but he seemed to think that he and Edward were something akin to friends for some odd reason. Maybe it was Ed’s former affiliation with the swim team.

»Is everything alright you guys?« Jim asked with concern written all over his face as he gave Oswald back his crutch and looked him over. He seemed really quite taken by the little guy. Odd. Was this his protective nature taken over or genuine interest in Oswald?

»Yes.« Oswald muttered. »Nothing happened.« Except that they had been forced to kiss each other - if anyone would even want to call it that. Knowing Oswald, it probably meant the end of the world to have lost his first kiss to Edward like this especially now that the true target of his affection stood before him and might have seen it all play out.

»Really, Oz…« Jim sighed and patted Oswald's shoulder. »You can't let him push you around like this. you need to fight back otherwise this will never stop!«

If someone else would tell him this, Oswald would certainly lash out in anger but since it was Jim, he appeared timid and a lot shyer than he actually was as he shrugged his shoulders. »I don't know how.«

»I’ll teach you then.« Jim Gordon promised with one of his most radiant smiles and though Oswald's eyes lit up at this promise, Ed couldn't help but feel the beast in the pit of his stomach rear its ugly head.

 

**-End of Chapter 6-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think, it means the world to me <3


	7. Chapter 7

The photo seemed to be everywhere he looked. Being bullied was certainly not a new experience for Edward Nygma - in fact, it was a mere tradition that was being upheld ever since kindergarten -  only the method was new and incredibly cruel. Until now, the bullying had only targeted his looks or him being the teacher’s pet - nothing too serious, nothing he wouldn't be able to handle. Insults and the occasional shove against a locker. Of course, it was not easy to go through but manageable. He had had years and years of experience, after all. This photo opened up a whole new dimension of torment for him. Never before had his sexuality been called into question and though he would usually not care too much about that either, there were certain things about it that were indeed very troubling.

However, it wasn't even so much he himself who had to suffer from this, after all, everyone knew he had a girlfriend and Isabella was now even more dead set on showing off to everyone who cared to listen that Edward was her’s. Oswald, on the other hand, had to face all these nasty taunts alone and without a shield like Isabella. Though it was no secret that Oswald was gay, having one’s own sexuality being discussed by the entire school was certainly not a nice feeling even for Oswald. At least he had Butch Gilzean who was all too willing to beat up everyone who dared to insult Oswald in his vicinity.

Of course, it came as no surprise to Ed that Isabella was now more possessive than ever before. Especially after what they had talked about just days before that photo had been taken and her clear distrust of a gay guy in Edward’s life. Now it was clear that she saw Oswald as just another competitor for Ed’s heart, no matter how ridiculous that really seemed to be. Heck, couldn't she see how wrong she was? Oswald and he were friends! Was it so hard to believe that he could have a gay friend?

»About that photo…« He wasn't surprised to hear her pick up the topic once more as they sat in the school library to study for an upcoming test. He had felt the question vibrating inside of her from the moment they had met in the hallway just outside of the library, had felt her inquisitive stare. Ever since that photo had surfaced on this Monday morning, she looked at him as if she didn't even know him, as if he was hiding some dark secret from her now.

Well, she wasn’t completely wrong about that, for sure - just not in the way she suspected him to.

»Not again-«

»I just want to know-«

»I told you all I could tell you already, Isabella!« He huffed in annoyance and immediately drew the attention of a few other students in the library towards them. Of course, he and Isabella and Oswald were the object of everyone's interest at the moment. The photo in question had been taken by Jerome or one of his goons in the parking lot of the diner. It showed their very much forced kiss as their faces had been squished together with no escape for them. Heck, it even showed the hands on the back of their heads! How anyone could see a kiss on that photo was beyond him! Then again, Isabella was jealous under normal circumstances already. And apparently, him ‘kissing’ Oswald was not even the real problem.

»I just want to know why you went out to the diner with Oswald in the first place. You told me you were busy that day.«

»Because I was! I already told you that I trained with Oswald and if you don't believe me, ask your sister!«

»What does Kristen have to do with that?« That only seemed to infuriate her even further. Her sister was always a sore spot for Isabella which made him wonder if she suspected that she was only Ed’s second choice. Did she see the way he looked at Kristen?

»She was looking for Tom and stumbled upon as at the pool.« He sighed and closed the heavy book in front of him. Apparently, he would not get the quietude needed to study. Needless to say, he didn't really need to study anyway. He had already sent out his college applications - much sooner than anyone else.

To him, it didn't really matter where he would go to college. Sure, he would like an ivy league college but he would never be able to afford that without a scholarship and he could not count on his father for support either. In fact, his father didn't even know that he had sent out his applications. The only thing he wanted to do was leave Gotham and his past and his father far behind. Only shortly he stopped at this thought and wondered whether or not Oswald would be okay after he would have left town. He didn't even know what Oswald would want to do after school or if he was planning on actually graduating. Weird how he was caring more about what would become of Oswald and not so much about Isabella or even Kristen.

»I see.« Isabella replied suddenly a lot calmer than before as she grabbed his hand over the table. Surely, she had noticed his frustration. Isabella was someone who liked to please and do what it would take to keep her man. He didn't like that trait of her. In the beginning, he had thought that he did like her submissiveness and her willingness to do whatever it would take to make him happy. Kristen possessed the same trait, otherwise, she wouldn't stay with people who mistreated her, right? Yet, Ed started to learn that he liked it much more when the person he was talking to would not bend to his well. Like Oswald, who would always say what he thought no matter if Ed would like it or not. Then again, what did Oswald have to lose anyway?

»You need to stop seeing a threat in everyone around me, Isabella.« He sighed as he retracted his hand from her’s. »Not everyone is out to steal me from you - or do you trust me so little?« Maybe it was unfair saying these things while he was trying to get her sister to like him but his point still held strong. Not everyone was out to steal him from Isabella. In fact, no one wanted to steal him from her. Not even Oswald who only had eyes for Jim Gordon anyway.

»I know.« Isabella sighed and lowered her gaze a little only to look at him again with those large eyes and that tender smile. »It's just so hard to ignore when this photo is everywhere. I had three polaroids in my locker today, Ed.«

As if he wouldn't know this. He was being tormented by this photo ever since the start of the day. They were taped to lockers, placed on tables or shoved into lockers and bags. He hadn't had time to really talk to Oswald until now, though. It was always as if Oswald was evading him. »I know but what do you want me today about it? Not talk to Oswald anymore? He is my friend and I like spending time with him. This will go over in a week and then the school will talk about something else again. Or do you wish me to make a public statement?«

»No … Of course, not. I just … I don't understand why you are even friends with Oswald Cobblepot.« There it was again. Not just her usual jealousy but the disdain she held for people like Oswald that were only a little different. It was dripping from her voice like venom, this prejudice she held. Maybe her religious upbringing had to be blamed for this but it was certainly no excuse. »I mean, he is weird, isn't he? And what if he _is_ in love with you? What are you going to do then?«

»Even if Oz would fall in love with me, why does that have to change anything?« He sighed yet again before putting his books into his backpack. He felt sick talking about stuff like this with Isabella. He just wanted to leave and be alone for a change, maybe find Oswald and do his homework at Oswald’s place. At Fish Mooney’s house, he seemed always welcome. There was always tea and cookies and a nice warm kitchen where they would gather around the table together. »I am weird too, Isabella.« It was certainly not the best way to end a conversation and not even worth a mic drop but it was how he chose to end the conversation and leave the library. »I gotta go now. See you tomorrow.«

»Aren't you coming over for dinner?«

»I don't know yet.« He didn't want to hurt her. Despite his actions, he did not want to hurt her or be cruel towards her. It was just that spending time with her got harder and harder by the day and started to become even more draining. He was not a very social person to begin with and spending too much time with other people was always taking its toll on him. Oddly enough, he didn't feel this way when he was around Oswald. They weren't always talking, though. Sometimes they would sit together in silence, both doing their own thing. Odd what a calming influence that ruffled bird was to him.

Walking through the hallway he relished in the silence of the building, the only sounds around him the occasional sound of a door and the squeaking of his sneakers on the linoleum ground. Jerome Valeska had raised terror last Friday on them and today he had been relatively tame in comparison. Clearly, he was planning something, though. Since Friday, he tried to wrap his head around Jerome’s sick obsession with Oswald but couldn’t come up with any kind of explanation for it.

Just as he was walking towards the school’s entrance, he saw Oswald at his locker putting away his books, his crutch resting against the neighboring locker. He hurried up out of instinct. »Oswald!« Ed greeted his friend with a smile and though first startled and looking a bit queasy, Oswald soon relaxed as he looked at Ed.

»Hi, Ed.« He seemed unsure of how to talk to him all of the sudden, his gaze wavering and slipping away from him to rest anywhere except on Edward. He could only assume that this was about the photo. Was he angry at Edward, maybe? Was he perhaps worried that Ed was angry at him? Or was this about Ed more or less stealing his first kiss in such a way? Or had he just been worn down by the bullying he had probably gone through today? This whole thing suddenly felt incredibly awkward.

»You heading home? I could give you a ride.« Ed smiled as Oswald closed his locker and grabbed his crutch. »I wondered if you want to hang out this afternoon?«

There was a flicker of something ghosting over Oswald's face that he couldn't quite place but then the boy relaxed a little more as he looked up at him out of those damn big blue eyes. »You’re not mad?«

»Mad?« He echoed in confusion.

»You weren’t at our usual spot during lunch so I thought…«

»You thought I was ignoring you?« Ed was amazed by the blush creeping onto Oswald's pale cheeks at his words that only highlighted the dusting of freckles across his face.

»Well … I wouldn't have blamed you.« He huffed. »After what happened last Friday.«

»But that wasn't your fault, Oz.« A part of him wanted to reach out to him and brush his fingers over his cheek or through his messy hair. He didn't even know where this desire came from but it was there and now that he had recognized it, it was not willing to leave either. »Isabella wanted to show me the project she has been working on during lunch today, that's all, and I couldn't find you to tell you.«

»So you’re not mad because of the photo?« He asked once more, his brows furrowed and his chin tilted down just a bit more.

»Of course not.« He chuckled.

»I just thought … You know that I’m gay and I was afraid that you might think something wrong of me now.« Oswald was smart but it were moments like this when Edward was reminded that he was only sixteen years old still and that he himself was only seventeen. They were teenagers and they, no matter whether he liked to admit it or not, reacted like teenagers too at times. This thought brought a smile to his face.

»I don't.« He tried to reassure him again. »So?«

He was confused at first but then he grasped what Edward was asking and his smile faltered a little before it picked up. »I can't today. I am waiting for Jim. He wants to teach me how to defend myself from people like Jerome. You wanna join?«

For some reason, he didn't like that Oswald would be spending time with a now single Jim Gordon. Still, he grinned conspiratorially. »So I see our plan is working just fine.« He smirked. »Have fun and give it your all.« Maybe the wink was a little too much but as he later parted from Oswald to leave school, he felt as if he had swallowed a whole potato sack full of rocks. He had no doubt that Oswald would win Jim’s heart in no time when Jim would start spending time with him during those self-defense lessons. After all, Oswald was smart and clever, witty and funny. And yes, he might not be conventionally attractive but he possessed definitely something that could be considered pretty. At least in Ed’s eyes. Something about Oswald was just special and made it impossible to look somewhere else.

And now he would lose his best and only friend again and that before he had even fully realized that he had a friend in Oswald Cobblepot. James Gordon, the white knight of this school, would steal him away with no qualms for Ed’s feelings.

※※※※※※※

 _It was a bad idea and Oswald could not deny that he had known that right from the beginning. The circus was always a busy place to be at and though usually intimidated by a larger group of people, at the side of his best friend, Jerome Valeska, could Oswald flourish. He loved being at the circus, even though his mother only reluctantly allowed him to go with Jerome. In her eyes, everyone who was not_ them _was bad. And the circus … She held very little of the circus and of his best friend Jerome. The traveling folks were all criminals - at least in her eyes - and Jerome Valeska was always a bad influence on her precious angel._

_»Come on, Ozzy!« Jerome laughed. »That will be so much fun! The lake is just down the hill, no one will notice!«_

_»I don't like it when you call me that…« He frowned as he swallowed down his fears. It was impossible to be afraid of anything when being friends with Jerome Valeska.  Jerome, however, took it with humor as he rolled his eyes and grabbed him by the hand to pull him along without accepting any further protest._

»You seem distracted.« Jim remarked with a small chuckle as he nudged him playfully against the shoulder. He had invited him to the gym where he was training in his free time because apparently being the captain of the swim team and working at the pool a few days a week wasn't enough already for the great James Worthington Gordon. It was the second time that he had followed Jim's invitation since Monday afternoon even though he was still a bit uneasy about this whole thing they had going on.

Jim seemed to put quite a bit of trust in his ability to learn the self-defense techniques that he was showing Oswald. Maybe he put too much trust in him in this regard. That was at least what Oswald feared deep down inside. He didn't want to disappoint Jim or let him down when his new friend was investing so much time into him. Oswald had never been particularly good when it came to any kind of physical activity except dancing.

»No … Not at all.« He replied as he wiped a bit of sweat from his brow. He couldn't deny that he felt even smaller and uglier than usual in his old black sweatpants and a worn grey t-shirt in front of someone as god-like as Jim Gordon. Around them, other guys were training with punching bags or lifting weights and though none of them really spared the odd duo a glance, he felt watched. He must look ridiculous. »I just think that you might be wasting your time on me. I am not known to be particularly good at sports.«

The look Jim shot him was bound to melt his heart right on the spot. »Is there really nothing you liked doing or were good at? I mean … before the accident?« His frown clearly spoke of disbelief. Bless his soul for believing in him so much more than Oswald believed in himself.

»I was a good dancer.« He then muttered into his non-existent beard. Usually, other kids had always picked on him for being a dancer but he felt that he could tell the truth to Jim - and Ed, of course. He had even shown Ed some of the tapes his mother had recorded from his dancing lessons.

»Really?« There was no ridicule or judgment in his voice. »Did your mother teach you?«

»Yeah.« He smirked but was quick to make a small grimace then instead. »She always dreamed that I would become a famous ballet dancer - like she always wanted to be herself.«

Jim’s smile responding to his words was warm and bright like the sun itself. He didn't like opening up to other people but it seemed easy with people like Jim and Ed. Especially Ed. There was nothing he could say to Ed that would make his friend would want to leave him as it seemed.

»Then just see this as a dance, I guess.« Jim shrugged. »Fighting is not too different from that, I suppose. You just have to read your opponent and react accordingly.«

 _Just_ , Oswald thought bitterly. That was the problem, wasn't it? Anyone else he would have mocked for such words but Jim said these things with such conviction…

»I'll try.« He smiled and got one of Jim Gordon's trademark smiles in return. Just for Jim, he wanted to believe that he could actually do this and master what he was taught. He didn't want all his efforts to be in vain, after all.

»I am glad to see that you and Ed get along so well.« Oswald felt himself freeze shortly and even Jim seemed to notice because he quickly added: »I'm not talking about the photo! I mean … I think Ed could use a friend and you do too.«

He felt daring as he looked at Jim now. He was gorgeous in his gym clothes. All sinew and taut muscle under golden skin. A Greek god come to life before his very eyes. Hell, he wasn't worthy of his time or his attention. »Are _we_ friends Jim?«

Jim seemed taken by surprise and Oswald half regretted uttering such a stupid question before Jim smiled again. »Of course, we are friends. That's why I want to teach you how to defend yourself. I don't like seeing you get hurt.«

His heart almost jumped out of his chest at these words. Until this year of school, he had thought that Jim didn't even know he existed. They had been living in different worlds and Oswald had been condemned to be allowed to watch him only from far away ever since middle school. And now here they were.

»I'm sorry about you and Barbara.« He lied a little while later and dropped his gaze to the floor shortly only to pick it up again as he heard him snort.

»Really?« Jim smirked. »You are the first person to say this, actually. It seems that none of my friends liked her. They were all so relieved to hear that we've broken up. Even my own family.«

Of course, everyone was relieved about that but he could see why Jim would be hurt by this. It meant, after all, he had made a bad choice in his lover and that no one had been honest with him before now. This was almost as bad as if everyone he had trusted had lied to him the entire time. Would their places have been swapped, he would feel humiliated to no end. But Jim carried his burden with grace as always.

»I’m sorry to hear that.« He replied after a moment of hesitation. »It's mean.«

»Maybe.« Jim chuckled. »But I'll get through it. Just like you with the Jerome-situation, right?«

»I doubt that Jerome will ever stop tormenting me.«

This, of course, caught Jim's attention. »You were friends before, weren't you?« He asked curiously. »Butch told me you guys were friends before he started bullying you all of the sudden.«

»A long time ago, yes.« He sighed. He actually didn't like to think back to that time. It seemed a lifetime ago, it seemed like a whole other Oswald had been the friend of Jerome Valeska during childhood days and up until middle school before everything had turned to shit between them. He had been so naive and so taken by Jerome’s charm and his boisterous nature. Jerome had been everything Oswald had wanted to be back then and he had been the only boy in school who had not taunted him for the way he looked or dressed. While the other kids had picked on him for his clothes, Jerome had encouraged him to just be himself and dress the way he wanted to dress. He had always had it easy talking, he assumed. He was with the circus and surrounded by eccentric characters all the time, after all.

»How did it end?« Jim asked finally a little more serious as he looked at him and something in his expression told him that he might have read something on Oswald's face that he hadn't been willing to show his new friend Jim.

»As it always ends.« Oswald then smirked. »With betrayal, of course.«

Fish picking him up somewhere, would never not feel awkward as far as Oswald was concerned. She liked her role as a mother without a doubt but Oswald would have preferred his foster mother not to treat him like a little child all the time. She meant well, of course. That seemed to be the general problem with the people surrounding him, they all always meant well, right? Even Jim. Even Edward. Then again … They were all trying their best, he assumed.

Jim escorted him out of the building and Oswald couldn't deny that he felt like he had been rolled over by a steamroller. He had never willingly exercised but with Jim as his teacher … How could he have said no to this? And he was such a patient teacher too!

»See you at school, Oz. Good work today.« Jim smiled and waved as Oswald climbed into Fish’s car. He just smiled at Jim and noticed how Jim stayed for a moment longer to watch them drive off with a glance in the side mirror. His sigh was maybe a little too content as he sunk into his seat as Fish picked up on it immediately. She really was a fish - a shark that would attack when smelling blood in the water.

»So that was the famous James Gordon, huh?« Fish grinned after a few moments of feigned decency in which she wanted to act as if she would leave Oswald his privacy and little secrets. He wouldn't have thought that she would last this long, to be frank. »He is very handsome indeed.«

The tone she chose made his cheeks heat up in a bright red. »What's that supposed to mean?« He groaned in his best annoyed-teenager voice while he tried not to look too much like a ruffled bird at the same time. Fish, however, just laughed.

»He’s the boy you like, huh? First, I thought it was your new friend, Edward, but now I see the truth.« She chuckled. »Good choice, I applaud you for that.«

»I don't know what you mean.« A part of him wanted to snap at her and ask her what was wrong with Edward or if she would have said the same thing would Edward be the one he fancied. But he bit back those questions. They were silly anyway.

»Of course, not, Darling.« She laughed warmly before glancing at him again. The last thing he wanted to do was to talk about boys with Fish although he could sense that she wanted to do exactly that. In the end, and to his big surprise, she kept her mouth shut, even stopped teasing him about Jim for the time being. He had no hopes that she would continue leaving him alone about that, though. »Butch told me that there is a photo of you and Edward going around in school?«

Traitor.

Of course, Fish would know about that stuff, wouldn't she? He wasn't even quite that surprised, honestly. Unlike he and Fish, Butch and Fish were very close and he knew that Butch told her almost everything that was of any kind of importance. Certainly, this incident seemed to fall into his category at least in Butch’s eyes. The look in her eyes was one of concern as she shortly took her eyes off the road to look at her foster son.

»So?«

»So what's the story there, Darling? He told me that this boy, Jerome Valeska, was behind all of this again.«

»So then you know the story already, don't you?« He scoffed. Maybe he was being unfair to his foster mother while Fish only had his best interest at heart but he couldn't quite help himself either. He didn't resent her. That was not the case at all. He just didn't like it to be mommied by her. He already had a mother, after all. Somehow it felt as if he would tarnish her memory, would he engage with Fish like he would have engaged with his mother. It didn't seem fair to his mother. And yes, she had had her flaws and it hadn't always been so easy being around her. But still she had been his mom and he loved her.

»I want to hear it from you, though, Little Bird.« Fish then said and brushed her fingers over his cheek as they had to stop at a red light. »If you want to talk about it, that is. I just think that we cannot let this slide, right? You cannot let this guy bully you until he and his circus leave town  again, Sweetheart.«

»I’m fine, Fish.« He sighed. »Jerome will get bored and he will leave again and everything will turn back to normal.« He would always be bullied. That was just a fact of his life. It had always been like this and it would always stay like this even with Jim’s help. No one was going to protect him from that. Not Jim, not Ed, not Butch and especially not Fish.

»Ozzie…«

»What do you want me to say, Fish?« He sighed. »They attacked me and Ed when we were leaving the diner and forced us to kiss and took a photo. That's the story.«

She was silent again for a moment before she hit the gas again as the light turned green. As he glanced over at her, her face was one of deep contemplation and thought. »I understand when you want to act like this didn't happen, little Bird, but we both know that this will not go away just so easy, right?«

He didn't say anything because what was the point? Yes, she was right and yes, they both knew this. But this didn't mean it would be any easier to deal with. At least, he thought, he had Jim Gordon and his smile. And at least he had Ed who always looked at him so fondly. Already this year was a lot better than most years before.

 

**-End of Chapter 7-**


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy special guest "Mommy" Fish. She will wash your dirty laundry in front of your friends! (more or less)

Doing his homework and having Ed Nygma at his home had become a normal occurrence pretty quickly. However, the death glares Isabella would shoot at him at school had also exponentially increased with the time Ed would spend with him instead of her, almost as if she would be jealous of him. It was no secret that she was the jealous type, of course, but to Oswald, it was an enigma as to why she would be in this scenario. Did she honestly think that someone like Oswald would have a chance with someone like Ed?

»Didn't you study with Kristen today?« Ed asked and, as always, his eyes sparkled just a little bit more as he looked at him now and mentioned her name. Somehow he didn't like that. It was this strange feeling boiling deep inside his guts, oddly similar to the way he had always felt when he had been watching Jim with Barbara Kean.

»I did.« He replied before going back to nibbling on his pen. Just one more nervous habit of his.

»And?«

»And?«

»What did she say?«

»About what?«

»About me!«

»She told me I couldn't have found a better boyfriend.«

»What?«

»I’m kidding, geez, Ed!« He huffed with a small chuckle and roll of his eyes. »She asked me if we were making any progress.«

»And?«

»And I told her that you are a very patient teacher - perhaps even as patient as she is. She showed quite a bit of interest in you now that there's trouble in paradise.« Maybe he should have told her that Edward could become quite annoying when he desperately wanted information.

»What do you mean?«

It was odd to him how blind Edward could sometimes be for the world around him. Shouldn’t he be on high alert all the time when it came to Kristen Kringle and her love life? Especially when said love life was sinking like the Titanic? He would have expected Edward to know. In fact, he would have expected Edward to dance on this very table right here.

»Didn't you hear about it? You have me surprised, Friend. Kristen had a huge fight with Tom the other day. Apparently, he asked her why she was wasting her time on helping a freak and a fag like me and she did not like that very much.« Which had not been a huge surprise for Oswald. Kristen was a good person, after all, and she had shown numerous times that she did not take too keenly on people insulting others like this.

Again, Ed’s eyes lit up at the prospect of having her to himself soon. He, of all people, understood how his best friend felt. After all, he too hoped to soon call Jim Gordon his boyfriend, no matter how ridiculous that thought might sound. And even if Jim would fall for him … There was no way in hell anyone except them and maybe Edward could ever know this.

»And Jim?« Ed asked after a moment in which he had let the news about Kristen and Tom just sink in.

»What do you mean?«

»I was just wondering … You guys spend a lot of time together lately.«

»Yes.« He grinned but as he looked at Edward now, he did not seem to share his enthusiasm. »You don't seem happy about that, though. What’s wrong?« He remarked carefully and suddenly on high alert for their lack of privacy in Fish’s kitchen. Well, his foster mom and Butch knew - like apparently the whole world - that he was gay and she even knew that he had a thing for Jim Gordon. Still, suddenly he grew very aware of the sounds coming from the basement where she was currently doing the laundry. A chore that Oswald usually took from her all too happily.

»Oh no, it's nothing!« Ed was a bad liar. It did not suit him at all to say nonsense like this as well. After all, what he liked about Ed and their friendship the most was that he was usually so straightforward with Oswald - whenever he was not speaking in riddles, of course. He liked that there seemed to be nothing he could say to Ed that his friend would frown upon. No matter how twisted and dark his ideas for revenge could become.

»Oh, come on! Spit it out already, Ed!«

»It's just … I hardly see you anymore. Even at school, you guys had lunch together.« He seemed oddly flustered, something that Oswald not often got to see with his friend. Edward though often a jittery loser, had always seemed rather confident to him in a weird way. Him being flustered like this did not suit him.  

»Would you like it better if I would be alone all the time then? You spent lunchtime with Isabella after all.« It sounded a lot like an accusation coming out of his own mouth. Almost as if he did not wish Edward to spend time with his girlfriend. Then again, he could always claim the moral high ground and act as if he just wouldn't like the fact that Edward was giving Isabella false hopes. Deep down inside, however, he knew that this was not the reason he didn't like Ed spending him with her and he did not appreciate such complicated emotions one bit.

»Anyway, I'm glad everything works out according to plan.« Ed finally smirked, though it seemed quite forced, even strained.

»Yes … Yes it is, isn’t it?« Oswald replied after a moment of hesitation looking at Edward. Though their eyes locked for a moment there, it was almost impossible to read his expression. Only as he heard the noise Fish made coming back up the stairs with a laundry basket, was the spell broken and Oswald hurried to bury his nose back into his books.

»Geez!« Fish chuckled and put the basket full with clean clothes down on one of the empty chairs around the table. As always when she was doing chores around the house, she wore her hair wrapped in a fancy colorful turban. On her, everything would look stylish and gorgeous. »Let me tell you something, Mr. Nygma. Raising boys means a crapload of dirty socks, Jesus Christ! Anyway, Ozzie, we are missing a few again and I noticed that a few of your older shirts aren’t looking too hot anymore either. maybe it's time for us to go shopping.« She said waving one of her manicured fingers in his general direction as she started folding the clothes at the kitchen table. It seemed all so oddly normal. She didn't think twice about it as she proceeded to do the laundry in front of the boys. Years of raising boys like Oswald would do this to a person, he assumed. His mother, on the other hand, would have been scandalized and he couldn't deny that he felt a bit of heat creeping into his cheeks at the display.

»I could go with Ed … You don't have to-«

»Oh, no, no, no, Sweetheart!« Fish scolded right away with a frown that was quickly replaced by a small smirk. »I know how boys your age are when giving a budget to go shopping. You never buy the things you _actually_ need! No, no. We are going this Saturday, no excuses. Although, Ed-honey, you are always invited to tag along, of course.«

Ed seemed a bit overwhelmed by the whirlwind that was Fish Mooney but he did his best not to show it. Bless him. His smile stayed polite as he closed his book. Knowing Ed, he had finished his homework minutes ago without Oswald even noticing it. »I would love to, but I’m accompanying my girlfriend’s family this weekend to a small camping trip.« He then replied before pointing at the laundry basket. »Do you need a hand with that? I’m done anyway.«

How anyone, especially Isabella's dad, didn't like Ed was beyond him. He was polite and kind and attentive. Fish seemed glad that he wanted to help so she let him, of course, and Oswald felt only a tad bit uncomfortable as Ed got to fold his underwear. In the end, Ed even stayed over for dinner that night and Oswald was surprised how pleasant it all was. The four of them, Fish, Butch, Ed and him, all sitting around a simple dinner of spaghetti and meat sauce at the kitchen table with the radio running faintly playing jazz in the background. It was oddly nice and normal, he never experienced something like this at home with his mother. It had always only been the two of them.

The sun was already setting as Oswald sat on the porch steps with Edward a little while later. He was about to leave to go back home to his father and though they had not talked about that until now, he knew that Edward still tried to stay away from home as much as humanly possible. He didn't want to pry, though.

»Why is Jerome so obsessed with you?« Ed finally asked after they had been talking about nothing in particular for a few minutes now, watching people walking past them down the streets and cars driving by, making up stories for each and every one of them. The evening was warm but promised of the autumn that was to come in just a few weeks from now.

»We were friends once.« Oswald shrugged his shoulders slightly and that only seemed to surprise Edward more as he looked at Oswald now with furrowed brows.

»Friends?« He echoed, disbelief etched into his expressive features and the neon light of a street lamp reflecting from his glasses.

»Yes … We went to the same kindergarten, the same elementary school, the same middle school … We became fast friends in elementary school, actually and stayed friends until almost the end of middle school.« All of this seemed so long ago now, almost like from an entirely different lifetime. Even for himself, it was suddenly very hard to believe that this story was actually true.

»What happened?« He didn't want to keep any secrets from Edward. Ed was his friend and he deserved the truth, after all, even though he sometimes was not too willing to face that truth himself.

»I … uh …« He began and paused again for a second. »I … Okay. We hung around at the circus together often when my mother was working. She didn't like Jerome and the circus and that I would be there. So, one day I had this genius idea of ditching what we were supposed to do at the circus and go down to the lake nearby. Of course, Jerome was on board immediately. I started getting cold feet, though. You must now, I couldn't swim back then and I didn't want to tell Jerome. I was sure he would laugh at me. I never learned it until after that day. He convinced me to go anyway. So we did.« He drove a hand through his hair as he let out a breathy chuckle.

»What can I say? I almost drowned that day. And when I say ‘I almost drowned’ I mean I got carted away by an ambulance and needed to stay at the hospital for two days. Later, at the hospital, I told my mother that Jerome forced me into the water. I was too much of a coward to tell her that it had been my idea. I never went against her rules, after all. She ate the lie up immediately and I thought that there was no damage done … except that she went to Jerome’s mother and that his mother then threw a fit. My mother told her that she would report Jerome to the police and that Jerome obviously wanted to kill me. You know … Jerome never got along with his mother, they were always fighting. This was just the opportunity she had hoped for, to get rid of him and send him away to some home for troubled boys for a couple of months. After he came back … Well, he had learned the truth that I snitched on him and told everyone that it had been his fault I nearly died.«

»And that's when the bullying started.« Edward concluded solemnly. Still, there was no judgment in his eyes as he looked at Oswald now. Only that same deep level of understanding that he always seemed to find in the eyes of his best friend.

»Yeah … I never apologized. I didn't know how.« He then mumbled even quieter than before. »And then the moment where I still could was gone and there was nothing left to be said, I guess. He never forgave me the betrayal.«

»You were a kid, Oz.« Edward frowned. »A stupid kid, perhaps, but only a kid. I’m sure if you were to go to him now and explain this to him, he would cease the bullying.«

»You know very little about Jerome Valeska if you honestly believe that, Ed.« He huffed, bitterness lacing his voice at the thought of it. »No, the damage is done. There is no going back. It’ll only get worse if I talk to him.«

»How could it get worse than it already is?«

Oswald rolled his eyes. »If you’d hear the things he threatened me with back then you wouldn't ask this question, Ed … And Jerome Valeska is no man of empty threats either.«

»What did he tell you?«

He sighed deeply and pulled at his hair for a moment before he rested his chin on his left knee. Edward would not let him off the hook so easily and he knew it. He would only stop asking when Oswald would have told him. Still, repeating the threats only caused his stomach to churn. »Well, that he would gut me like a fish, for instance. That he would hang me from the basketball basket by one of my ties, that he would drown me in the toilet, that he would shove a broomstick so far up my ass it would come out the other side … That were the nicer ones, I guess.«

»You are not alone anymore.« Ed reassured him quietly as he put a hand on his shoulder. It was easy to say these things, Oswald assumed. Easy for someone like Ed to claim that Oswald needn't fear Jerome anymore and that he wasn't alone but when it came down to it, he could only face his own demons alone, he assumed.

»You are not alone anymore either, you know?« Oswald then mumbled quietly as he glanced at Ed but was met with confusion by his friend. »Listen, Ed … I understand if you don't wanna talk about it … But I can see that you are avoiding going home and … Well, do you have problems with your dad?« He didn't like to ask him something like this so up-front at all. It seemed unseemly. It seemed impolite.

However, Ed did not respond with anger to his question. Instead, there was a small smile pulling on his lips for just a second before he, much to Oswald’s surprise, put his left arm around Oswald’s shoulders in some kind of awkward half embrace. A gesture of friendship, of companionship. Nothing more than that.

»You know … You are the first person to really ask me that, Oz.« He replied and squeezed his left shoulder with one of his large hands before retrieving his arm. For some reason, Oswald would have liked it better would he have kept his arm where it was. It had felt nice and now all of the sudden he felt cold and hollow without it. Odd.

For a moment, Ed was silent and just as Oswald wanted to ask him again, the older boy began with a small sigh. »My dad and I never got along, you know?« He then confessed. »It was bearable with my mother still around. She grounded him and kept us apart so that we wouldn't fight. But ever since her death … Well, I try to be as little around him as possible, honestly. Mom’s death hit him hard. She was the love of his life.«

»Do I need to worry about you?« Again Ed shot him a surprised look before he huffed a breathy little laugh.

»You are sweet, Oswald. Has anyone ever told you that?« Ed chuckled and though he should feel mocked, he could only feel the heat rising in his cheeks instead. »No, you don't need to worry about me. I am fine. It's just that I try not to be home when he is at home or awake, that's all. It works quite well too, actually. My dad is gone more often than not anyway.« With a glance at his watch, Ed finally rose to his feet. »Nevertheless, I should get going. It's getting late and you have a big day tomorrow. Try not to burn through Fish’s money too much, she’s a nice lady.«

They shared a small grin that felt more like an insider joke already than anything else as Edward walked down the steps and towards his green beetle in front of the house. Oswald waved at him as Ed got in the car and stayed where he was until Ed had driven off. There was this strange urge inside of him to run after him and ask him to stay the night instead. He stayed where he was even a few seconds after that and just thought about today and their conversations. Spending time with Edward was oddly easy for him. Usually talking to people, engaging in fully fledged conversations wasn't easy for him. Not even with Fish or Butch and certainly not with James Gordon! But with Edward … With Edward everything seemed to fall into place, everything seemed just so easy with Ed.

So, with a small smile tugging on his lips, he got up from the stone steps, shook his head over his own ridiculous thoughts and went back inside.

※※※※※※※

At first, he had been certain that he was lucky as he arrived at home. The house was dark as he parked the car in his usual spot on the other side of the street, and although his father's truck was parked in front of the house, he had at least hopes that he was asleep or passed out on the couch. With a bit of luck, Ed could just sneak past him and up the stairs easily without rousing his father in any way. Not that the old man would really care where his son had been until this late at night.

Needless to say, he hadn't gone home right away after his visit to Oswald. Instead, he had decided to go shopping to restock his secret stash in his closet and get a few more utensils for the camping trip. He wished this would have been a lie for Fish to spare them all the awkwardness of him tagging along for the shopping trip when it was obvious that Fish wanted to spend time with her foster son but sadly he really was going to go camping with Isabella and her parents. Well, and Kristen. Lucky him.

As he walked up the front porch and pulled his keys out of the pocket of his jacket, he couldn't help but think back to his day with Oswald. It had been nice spending the entire afternoon with him, honestly. Once again they had been training in the school's pool until the swim team had arrived, even exchanging a few pleasantries with Jim before leaving. Oswald was making progress and he seemed finally willing to put real effort into this whole thing too. It was surprising to Edward just how little Oswald seemed to believe in himself at times. He had been adamant in the beginning, that all this training would lead to nothing. Today he had been able to swim 54 yards twice all by himself and without any help from Edward who had just been sitting at one end of the pool with his legs dangling in the water. He was believing in this little flightless bird - apparently, even when he couldn't believe in himself. There was just this underlying strength that he could sense in Oswald that made him believe that Oswald could achieve great things if he would just try. Of course, he had been slow and exhausted after their training but as he had returned to Edward's end of the pool and exchanged a high five with him, it had felt like a victory for them both.

Somehow it filled him with pride to see how Oswald was succeeding in this endeavor and how he was starting to regain his strength. After all, it was his accomplishment too, wasn't it? And heck, he had looked so pleased with himself! As he reached the door and carefully unlocked it, he found himself pausing just for a moment. For some reason, he wanted to call Isabella and cancel the camping trip. In all honesty, he would much rather be dragged from store to store by Fish Mooney and Oswald than going camping with the Kringles. Wasn't this odd? Shouldn't he be glad to be given the chance to spend an entire weekend with Kristen? Maybe this was the weekend when he would finally get her to fall for him! Breaking up with Isabella after that would be easy, he assumed.

Then again, wasn't Isabella always talking about Europe anyway and how she had applied for an exchange project? Maybe she would get the chance and he, as her loving boyfriend would, of course, support her in traveling abroad. He should talk to Oswald about that next time they would see each other. Monday couldn't come soon enough.

The moment Edward closed the door behind himself and locked it, however, the lights in the hallway were turned on abruptly. Before him, sitting on the stairs with his hand on the light switch just beside them, sat his father in his worn overalls and his dirty work boots, an envelope in his left hand and his dark eyes burning into him. He was oddly calm as he just stared at Edward. Looking at his father now, they were nothing alike. Sure, he was a tall man just like Ed was too and they shared the color of their eyes and the color of their hair but that was it. Thomas Nygma and his son couldn't be more different even if they tried and maybe that was the core of their problems when it would come down to it.

His father had wanted a certain type of son. Ed had always known this to be true, of course. His father would have been much happier with someone like Butch to be his son or even Jim. Heck, he would even embrace Jerome with wide open arms. He didn't like boys like Ed so much, though.

»Hey, Dad.« Edward addressed his father as casually as it could be in a situation like this before he hung his jacket to the coat rag and slipped out of his shoes to put them away neatly. Even that seemed to infuriate his father.

»Where have you been?« His father asked though _growling_ would probably be closer to what it sounded like. He had had a few drinks already, there was no question about it. Almost he could smell the sour stench of beer hanging in the air around him. At least he tried to make an effort of actually keeping it civil this time around - which in turn should only bother Edward even more.

»I was at my friend’s house and then at Isabella’s.« He lied about the last part because dropping the name of his girlfriend always seemed to calm his father down a little. Apparently, his father had to be reminded every once in a while that his son was still at least man enough in this regard as he had a girlfriend.

His father was the type of guy some people thought only existed in movies. The stereotypical macho, bigoted, homophobic and crude. Edward academic success meant little to nothing to Mr. Nygma senior. It never had. In fact, it was something he would be embarrassed about when talking to his friends, a ragtag group of like-minded creatures who all worked hard at the docs or Maroni’s meat processing factories. To his father, a real man would not stick his nose into books but rather have his arms up to the elbows in motor oil and grease.

»Sorry that I am so late, Dad.« He tried to deflate his father before his anger could rise to the point of no return. »We had a few things to discuss about tomorrow. Remember? Her parents asked me to come along for a camping trip over the weekend.«

He grunted a response that should probably sound like a confirmation that yes, of course, he remembered. Needless to say, Ed had not even bothered to inform him until now and he wouldn't have either. His father would have probably not even noticed his absence anyway. Still, his father remained where he was and Ed would not be able to squeeze past him to go to his room. So, there was something else afoot and once more his eyes fell to the envelope in his father’s left hand.

»What's that?« He asked as he pointed at the envelope.

»Yes, that's what I would like to know from _you_ , Ed.«

He furrowed his brows at that but his father extended his hand and offered him the envelope in question. With a little hesitation, Ed took it and let his eyes roam over the front of it. It was a letter sent to him from no other place than Harvard. That was it. Harvard University. Just reading these letters over and over made his heart race in his chest but he decided to school his face into a mask of indifference instead. His father didn't know he had applied to colleges already. He had made it perfectly clear to Edward what he thought about bookworms like his son. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Ed took in the state of the envelope and the ripped side that indicated that the letter had been opened and read already but he bit back any comment on that matter as he took out the letter and allowed his eyes to quickly scan the document.

»You applied for a scholarship?« His father asked, his voice still calm but clearly lurking for any sign of weakness in his son’s demeanor, something he could latch onto, something he could lash out about. »And when did you think you wanted to tell me about that, Edward?«

»I uh-« He began and scratched the back of his neck. »I didn't want to tell you before I would know if I got accepted or not, you know?« He then said and tried to appeal to his father's general sense of pride. There was no question about it that his father was a man burdened with a huge ego and pride in his own masculinity. Even though he only possessed so little pride in his own son. He was proud that he was the father to a son, of course. He only wished that his son would not be Edward. Still, Ed still held on firmly to the ridiculous hope that his father would look at him with pride when he would hear that his son had been accepted into one of the best universities of this country just like this. »I thought … Why make a big deal out of it right? I wanted to surprise you if I got into one of the colleges I applied to.«

»Well, congratulations then. I was surprised as I found this letter today in the mail. You were accepted into Harvard, look at that! Full scholarship even. Congratulations, Mr. Smartypants.« As his father jumped to his feet now, Ed took a step back immediately and he knew what was coming even before his father had shoved him full force against the front door.

His back screamed in agony from the impact but Ed knew better than to show that his father had hurt him. He kept his jaw squared, his eyes unflinching and his chin up just the way his father expected it from a proper man. Their faces were only inches apart now and he could smell his father’s foul breath on his face. It almost made him gag but he didn't show his disgust for his breath or his yellow teeth, the stench of his work clothes or the fact that he was in dire need of a shower.

»I thought we talked about that, Ed!« His father sneered and he could see true rage flaring up behind his dull brown eyes. »You are going to join me at Maroni’s after school!« He bellowed so close to his face that Ed could feel his father's spit on his face. His own lips curled into a thin line at this. »You are going to become a mechanic like your old man and god-dammit you will like it and make me proud, are we understood? I will not have some yuppy-pansy as my son!«

To other people, his father's anger and his reaction might seem a bit over the top, maybe even a little ridiculous. Other people, people like Jim Gordon, perhaps, would tell him to just leave and ignore his father’s ranting and raving. It was something very different, though, to live this reality. Ed knew that just walking out on his father was not an option. Not now, not ever. He thought back to his day at Oswald’s for just a brief second. It had all felt so nice, spending time with Oswald and Fish - Heck, even with Butch! It had all felt so ridiculously normal and hearing Oswald laugh over one of his riddles had filled him with a whole new sense of hope that he had not known before.

For this brief second, as he looked at his father’s angry sneer and his yellow teeth, he envied Oswald.

»Yes.« He finally hissed through gritted teeth but his father, his hands still on Ed’s shoulders, thrust him against the door again.

»What was that? I can't hear you over your whining!«

»I said yes!« He hissed. »Yes, we are understood!«

His father gave him another push for good measure before he let go of him but only to shove him away from the door. He grabbed his heavy jacket that was hanging from the coat rag and nearly threw Edward’s onto the ground in the process. »Good.« He scoffed with one last look and a small grin tugging on his lips. »Glad we talked. Now go to bed, it's way past your bedtime.«

As the door slammed shut behind his father, Edward remained where he was for a little while longer, standing in the middle of the hallway unable to move. Only as he heard the engine of his father’s truck flare up, Edward slowly walked over to the stairs and set down on the same spot his father had previously occupied and took a deep breath.

For the longest time, he did nothing at all, only focused on his breathing and tried to drown out the voice in the back of his head that reminded him just how easy it would be to kill his father and make it look like an accident. His eyes shortly fell on the envelope and the letter still in his left hand. The initial joy of seeing the name of his favorite university had quickly faded away and now he couldn't stand the sight anymore.

Before Edward raised to his feet to walk up into his room, he crumpled the paper in his hand and threw it away in the small wastebasket near the front door.

 

**-End of Chapter 8-**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you are wondering, this was my inspiration for his new outfit: http://sibandit.tumblr.com/post/157814680486

Oswald had never enjoyed going shopping for clothes in the past. His mother had always been a hand full when it came to this particular endeavor. Shopping with his mother had always turned into a nightmare pretty quickly as she had always had very distinct ideas of how his wardrobe should look like - meaning, stuck in the 1920’s, preferably. And though Oswald quite liked to dress up and wear suits and ties, maybe high school was not exactly the right place to do this.

Going shopping with Fish was a completely new experience, on the other hand. To his general surprise, Fish treated him to a haircut first and foremost and though he was not quite sure about it at first, Fish seemed to trust the hairdresser wholeheartedly. Of course, Oswald stood out like a sore thumb in a hair salon filled with black women but he couldn't deny that he had liked it. The hairdresser had fawned about him and his hair as she had only heard stories about Fish’s new foster son.

They spent hours and hours together at the local mall and, in the end, Oswald hardly even recognized himself anymore as he looked in the mirror of the dressing room in the last store they had ventured into.

»Am I wrong to assume you like what you see, Little Bird?« Fish smiled as she cautiously pulled back the curtain just enough to have a look at him in the mirror as well. She was a woman of little boundaries and for once in his life, Oswald actually didn’t even care that she would infiltrate his privacy like this. Well, he was dressed, after all. He didn't quite know what to say or tell her. He did, in fact, like what he saw now hours later and he hadn't quite thought that he would say so himself.

The outfit Fish had picked for him was rather simple, actually. A pair of black skinny jeans with a white leather belt and a black tight fitting dress shirt with rolled-up sleeves. It was nothing special but it looked really nice and, more importantly, it felt really nice. He was glad that Fish hadn't tried to make him wear stuff he wouldn't be comfortable with and this right here was exactly the type of compromise that Oswald liked the most. Even his hair looked nice for once. It wasn't as messy and fluffy as it used to be but carefully styled and fixed into place. Maybe a little more punk-rock than he would have gone for. Still, he liked it.

»Thank you.« He found himself mumbling quietly as he turned his head to look at Fish over his shoulder but his foster mother just smiled at him and squeezed his left biceps fondly.

»Meet me at the cash register when you’re ready, Honey.«

It was still early in the day, as they sat down in a small café inside the mall together and took a break before heading home. The cake in front of Oswald was delicious and the entire café smelled heavenly like freshly brewed coffee. Their shopping bags rested next to their table on the ground and Oswald felt his eyes drawn back to them again and again. Of course, Fish picked up on this but she didn't say anything about it either. She could probably tell what was going on inside his head. Ever since his mother had died he had felt so lost with himself and his situation, not willing to accept any help of the people around him. There had always been this nagging fear in the back of his head wondering how he was going to repay those who helped him. After all, he had been left with nothing after his mother's death. Sure, he was her heir but he would only get his inheritance with twenty-one and the inheritance of a cook really was nothing anyone would envy him for.

»Where are you, Little Bird?«

»What?« Ge gaped like a goldfish as his eyes came to rest on Fish’s face.

»You suddenly seemed very far away, Darling.« Fish chuckled. »What did you think about?«

There was this voice in the back of his head urging him to caution and not to talk to her honestly. The voice sounded a lot like his mother who had always urged him not to trust other people in any way. Everyone who wasn't them was the enemy and wanted to hurt him. Wasn’t this how the world was supposed to be? However, ever since her death, he had encountered nothing but kindness from those around him. The only exception to this seemed to be Jerome Valeska. The world seemed much less bleak to him, the people around him much less threatening.

»I just thought that I finally want to unpack my boxes later. It's time to properly move into my room, I guess.« He mumbled quietly and tried even a small smile as he looked at her now. Fish’s eyes always seemed to hold a warm glow when she was looking at him.

»I think that's a good idea.« She smiled and went back to sipping her coffee as Oswald went back to eating his cake even though only for a few moments before he spoke up again.

»I was wondering…«

»Yes?«

»Why is it that you only took in boys?«

She seemed surprised at first but the expression quickly faded away. Surely, she had expected him to ask sooner or later. »Did you know I had a son?« She then asked with a fond little smile but he could see how her eyes got clouded over by something akin to sadness too as she spoke.  

»No.«

»A beautiful little boy.« She sighed as she leaned back in her seat. »Robin. Oh, I was so young and naive back then. However, his father got cold feet when I told him that I was pregnant and left Gotham. Coward. But my little Robin was more than I needed. He was the love of my life.«

»What happened?« He didn't want to intrude on her most personal feelings or memories but, at the same time, he was sure that Fish would tell him if she was not ready to talk about something.

»Well« She sighed heavily. »He died. I knew from the start that my baby bird had weak lungs. He died when he was six months old - just stopped breathing. After that, I couldn't bear the thought of having kids of my own again. But I had so much love to give after Robin. I decided that I didn't want my love for Robin to go to waste and so I decided I would give it to the orphan boys of this city instead. To those who didn't have anyone else. To those who have been abandoned by their mothers, who have been abused or lost everyone and everything. I’m sure my baby bird would have loved this for me.«

»I’m sorry, Fish.«

»For what?« She chuckled. »Everything is well, Ozzie. It's all good. He is with God and I will get to be his mother again when I join him. Until then I have two more fledglings to look after, right? And I decided I will enjoy those last two years until you are graduating and leave the nest. Speaking of which … Have you already thought about what you want to do after school?«

He had known from the start that he would have to leave his foster mother when he would graduate from school after he had turned eighteen. This was how it was supposed to be and Butch would leave the house next summer already. It would be horribly lonely then. Until now, he had never really minded loneliness or the solitude of a quiet home. Now, however, he couldn't fathom it. Thinking about it, only now did he fully realize that not only would Butch be gone but Edward too. Surely, Ed would go to college. He was meant for greatness. And Jim would go to the police academy to become a policeman for the GCPD. He would be such a good detective. He would be a win for the force. For once the GCPD would gain someone who had his heart in the right spot. Perhaps the only hero Gotham would ever get.

»I don't know.« He then muttered with a small shrug. »I never really thought about it until now. Before the accident, I wanted to be a professional dancer for a while. My mother would have wanted me to be.«

»But is this really what _you_ wanted or is it rather what your mother wanted you to want?« A good question without a doubt. »I know that you loved your mother dearly, Honey, but after everything I heard about her, she seemed to have been quite oppressive.«

Usually, he would flare up when someone would criticize his mother like this but instead, he shrugged his shoulders again just slightly. »She was … difficult at times. I liked dancing, even the ballet classes I took were fun but … I don't know. No one has ever asked me what I want to do with my life.«

»Well, I do.« She smiled. »And the good thing is that you still have two years to figure it out, right? And if you still don't know then, you can always work at my nightclub as soon as I will have bought it.« She snickered and Oswald actually joined her with a small chuckle. »You know, Darling, you never talked about your father before. Now that we sit together so nicely after such a lovely day I got to spend with my little bird I wonder about this.«

The question had to come up sooner or later, he had known this and it surprised him still. »I never knew him.« He answered truthfully after a moment. »My mother told me that he died shortly before I was born. He was a musician, she said. I've got my musical talent from him, apparently. I learned to play the piano when I was only four, after all. My mother always said that he was the love of her life and that life only gives us one true love. So, after my father died, she never sought for another man. She had me, after all.«

A similar story to Fish’s, he thought. His mother to had felt that her son was the true love of her life after his father had died and he had never seen anything wrong with that either. Fish’s smile seemed a bit strained for a second but then she seemed to shake off whatever thought had crossed her mind at his words and she smiled brightly again.

»So, I believe it's your and Butch’s turn to cook dinner tonight, right? What did you have in mind, Sweetheart?«

※※※※※※※

The radio was softly playing in the background as Oswald was cutting the onions just like his mother had shown it to him all those years ago. He might not be the best cook but he could follow a recipe and he had often enough helped her make goulash to know how to do it properly. Butch Gilzean, to his biggest surprise, was even much more of a help than he would have anticipated at first as they sat together at the kitchen table and were cutting the ingredients.

»I really like your new look.« His foster brother commented as he threw a small glance at him across the table. »It suits you. Makes you stand out a bit more.«

»I am not really the type who wants to stand out, though.« Oswald scoffed. Standing out more was the last he really wanted to do, after all. Already people were picking on him more than enough. Perhaps this change of style hadn't been the best idea after all. Yet, he still liked the way he looked. He even liked the bit of mascara the hairdresser had applied to his lashes with a small giggle. It made his eyes pop a bit more and made the color more distinct.

»But that's a good thing, Oz.« Butch chuckled. »People tend to mess less with those who stand out from the crowd.«

»I made a very different observation.«

»Because you always stood out  for the wrong reasons.« Butch huffed with a roll of his eyes. »You were the freak for the way you dressed and the way you talked and because you only kept to yourself. But now you look like an actual human being.«

»Thanks … I guess?«

»Your welcome.« Butch grinned sheepishly. Oswald took over the job of cooking after they could actually get to it while Butch was setting the table. Fish would return shortly to them after she had quickly gone out to fetch a gallon of milk from the store down the street. »Anyway, I am glad you finally made some friends in Gordon and Nygma - oh and Kristen. I saw you study together a few times lately.«

»She’s very nice.« Oswald hummed in response as he was idly stirring in the pot. Already the smell was incredible. It didn't quite smell like his mother’s goulash but it was close enough and reminded him almost painfully of how he used to sit on the countertops in their old land house style kitchen with his legs dangling over the edge while his mother had been cooking and humming a tune.

»Much nicer than her sister for certain. Gee, I really hope that Isabella gets accepted for this exchange program and leaves. She can be such a pain in the ass. Then again, even if she gets accepted, I doubt that she leaves … She could not possibly leave Ed behind, right? I swear to you, this girl is so paranoid … In her eyes, everyone is out to get their hands on Ed! This girl really needs a reality check if you ask me.«

He had never really talked to Butch about this whole situation and it was a genuine surprise for Oswald that Butch had this much insight on the matter. Until now, he had been under the assumption that Butch didn't even really know Isabella that well. Then again, Isabella was in a few of Tabitha’s classes as well.

»Well … Ed is actually pretty good looking. I guess she is just afraid that some other girl might see that too while she is gone.« Of course, other girls were much less a problem than Edward wanting her sister instead of her but, well, this better stayed a secret.

As he looked over his shoulder he noticed the way Butch looked at him with furrowed brows for a moment as if surprised that Oswald even said something like this or remarked on Ed’s looks. »What? Don't look at me like this!« Oswald scoffed but felt how his ears turned red right away. »It's no secret that I’m gay, I am allowed to gush over attractive men.«

Butch actually laughed at that. He liked the sound of Butch’s laughter. It was such a deep, rich sound. All in all, Butch was much like a big cuddly teddy bear most of the time even though in the past, Oswald had always been afraid of him. »That's not it.« He huffed. »It's just that you only seemed to have had eyes for James Gordon until now.«

He felt his ears burn bright red by now and he was tempted to throw something at Butch. Preferably something sharp. However, the teasing was light-hearted enough for Oswald to understand that he didn't need to fear anything from Butch. It was a brotherly little jab at worst.

»It's not like this.« He answered quieter than before and suddenly a little unsure of how much he could reveal. »I mean, yes, Ed is attractive but he isn’t gay and neither is Jim - not that I would stand a chance with either one of them, right? Plus, Ed is my best friend. I would be stupid to jeopardize this friendship in any way.«

Butch was quiet again for a moment and they both returned to their duties until Butch was done setting the table and went over to Oswald to lean with his back against the counter next to the stove. »You know that's not true, do you?« The question came so out of the blue that Oswald couldn't follow it even in the slightest. Usually, he was at least three steps ahead but lately, he seemed a little off-kilter. Maybe he was getting sick or maybe he was just not as good in social situations as he had thought he was. Until now, he had always felt that reading people and understanding their intentions was easy. »I mean that you would never stand a chance with either of them.«

»Oh, come on now, Butch.« He scoffed with an annoyed roll of his eyes. »Please spare us both the embarrassment and don't act like my protective big brother who feels the need to push my self-esteem. I know that I’m not good looking and a new haircut and new clothes won't change anything about that either.«

»Hey, I am no George Clooney either, Oz.« Butch sighed. »But it's not true that you are ugly either. You are good looking in your own way and I am certain that, no matter which one of them you would choose, they would both see it. Heck, Ed probably already does. Anyway, I think that Isabella and Ed are not even happy together. Especially Isabella. To me, it seems as if she is trying to find a way out without really getting out of the relationship.«

So she needed a push, perhaps? Oswald would never say anything like this, of course. He would rather keep this new information to himself to later use it in Edward and his plan. He would only need to get on friendly terms with Isabella first to push her in the right direction.

»Anyway, I just want you to know that you don't have to hide, right? You will find someone who likes you just the way you are in no time. And … but don't tell anyone that I told you, Gordon talks a lot about you, actually.« There was a moment when Oswald wanted to ask him about that but before he could, he heard the front door opening and closing, announcing Fish’s return.

Still, Butch’s words never left him all throughout the dinner. Jim Gordon was talking about him to his friends? He wanted desperately to know what exactly he would say to them. Was he talking about how sorry he was for Oswald? Or was he speaking fondly of him? It seemed almost unbelievable that Jim could be speaking fondly of him. Certainly, his friends were pitying him because Jim had such a big heart that he was wasting his time on the school’s biggest freak.

It was only after dinner as Butch and he was doing the dishes, that his foster brother let out a deeply annoyed sigh while toweling dry one of the plates. »Be out with it.«

»What?« He blinked handing him the next plate to dry but Butch rolled his eyes.

»I can see the gears turn in this little head of yours.« Butch huffed and gently jabbed his fingers against the side of his head. »Ever since I told you that Jim is talking about you. I see it! Be out with it!«

»I’m just wondering … I mean … what could he possibly say about me?« The words came out a lot quieter than he intended it. He felt flustered to no end by this whole situation. It was beyond odd speaking to Butch about stuff like this. This was not some random pajama party between girls, after all.

»I shouldn't have said anything!« Butch sighed putting the next plate away before accepting another from Oswald’s dripping hands.

»You started it!« Oswald scoffed. »Don't complain now that I am curious. Being curious is my nature.«

»Being a pain in the ass is your nature.« Butch laughed. »He doesn't outright _gush_ about you for no reason, don't get me wrong but he … Well, sometimes one of the guys ask him about you and why he is doing so much for you and then he’ll say something like how he’s so proud of you and how much progress you already made after your accident … that he is impressed by your strength and how quickly you learn or how smart you are.«

»Jim thinks I’m smart?« It was impossible to hold back the massive smile spreading across his face and Butch groaned as he gently swatted his dish towel at Oswald’s face as punishment for all his stupid questions.

»Cut it out already!« Butch laughed and for the second time today, Oswald felt inclined to join him in his laughter with a small chuckle before he pulled the plug to drain the water from the sink now that they were done with the dishes. As Butch was drying the plate, the doorbell rang. Fish was upstairs doing god knows what for the moment until she would probably join them for some crappy movie in the living room and since Butch was drying the last plate, Oswald quickly dried his hands on the dish towel in Butch’s hands and hurried towards the door as quickly as his disability allowed him to.

It was not that late in the day but outside it was already dark and usually, no one came around the house this late without notifying one of them first. Tabby would usually call Butch ahead when she would come by and Edward was on this camping trip with the Kringles. He opened the door to a stranger looking back at him. Tall, dark-haired with pale skin and a face with noble features. Until this moment, he had never quite understood what it meant when someone would describe someone else to have a noble face but as he looked at the man before him, this was exactly what he looked like.

He was wearing a fine tailored dark grey suit and waistcoat and as Oswald opened the door and their eyes locked there was a weird sense of familiarity between them. There was something about his eyes that was weirdly familiar to him. The stranger looked at him in surprise at first and although it had been him ringing the doorbell he looked as if he had swallowed his tongue, no longer able to formulate what he wanted from the inhabitants of this house.

»Good Evening, Sir.« He addressed the stranger. »Can I help you?«

»I…« The stranger began before clearing his throat. He looked as if he had seen a ghost. »I’m sorry to intrude on you like this, young man. My name is Elijah van Dahl.«

»Oswald Cobblepot.« He replied politely although his confusion never left him as he shook the stranger’s hand shortly. »Are you here to see Miss Mooney? Please, by all means, I can call her, she’s upstairs.«

»No … I mean … I am here for you, actually.« The man continued and only furthered his confusion. »My God … You look just like your mother.«

»You knew my mother?« He asked startled by the man’s words especially as he noticed the wet shine in his dark eyes as he took a step closer. Oswald immediately took a step back out of instinct. This whole situation was beyond creepy and he didn't know how to properly react. He felt odd. He had ants crawling beneath his skin.  

»She … Yes, she was working as a cook for my family until seventeen years ago.« Mr. van Dahl explained as he cleared his throat once more. »Before she suddenly left. And I … May I come in? There is something I would like to discuss with you.«

»I…« Oswald threw a small glance over his shoulder. Somehow he felt a bit uneasy in the presence of the stranger. Maybe it was the way the man stared at him almost completely unblinking as if he was staring right into his soul. He didn't quite want to invite him into the house. »I don't know if I … Actually, I am about to head off … I’m … I don't have much time … So …«

He heard footfalls coming from the kitchen and the creaking of the stairs before he heard Butch call out for him, probably concerned about what was taking him so long. Somehow he wanted to slam the door into the man’s face as he noticed how his expression changed into one of almost desperation as the teenager rejected him. Before he could actually do so, however, van Dahl spoke up again.

»I am your father, Oswald!«

He needed a drink. For the first time in his life as he sat beside Fish on her comfortable couch, he felt like he could need a drink but he only got to hold a cup of steaming hot tea in his clammy fingers for dear life. Elijah van Dahl sat on one of the armchairs and Butch had, after he had brought over the tea from the kitchen, taken position on the armrest of the couch on Oswald’s left-hand side. Outside rain was pouring down the streets of Gotham and thunder was roaring in the distance. He now felt very much flanked by Fish and Butch and for once he was really glad that they were at his side like this.

Elijah seemed a little uncomfortable under Fish’s scrutinizing stare as he took a small sip from his cup. Before he could say another thing, Fish clucked her tongue and leaned forward just slightly. »So.« She broke the uncomfortable silence all of the sudden. »Mr. van Dahl … You claim to be Oswald's father.«

»Yes.« The man quickly nodded and wiped one hand on his pants.

»Oswald’s father is dead.«

Elijah did not seem taken aback at all by this, he just smiled quietly and there was something akin to pain crossing over his face just shortly. »I know that this is what Gertrud, his mother, told him.«

»So where have you been then all those years?«

»I didn't know I had a son.« Elijah defended himself quickly. »She never told me.« His voice was soft as he looked at Oswald now. »I wished she had. I would have been there. In fact, I only learned the truth a month ago when my mother passed away. You must now … my mother did not agree to my relationship to Gertrud seventeen years ago. She was our cook and to my mother, this was not the wife she wanted for me. As she died … I found out that my mother had been paying Gertrud a monthly allowance ever since she abruptly left our house all these years ago until a few months ago when the payments suddenly stopped. Of course, I immediately hired a private investigator and I found out that Gertrud died as the payments stopped. It took the P.I. a while to find out that she had a son and even longer to get the information to confirm that her son was my son as well. Of course, without the original birth certificate, I can't tell for certain and that depends on whether or not Gertrud has actually put my name on it but-«

»It all fits...« Oswald mumbled quietly into his cup and was met with silence for a second before Elijah exhaled quietly. For the first time since they had met at the door, they locked eyes for longer than a brief second and there was it again, this warm glimmer in Elijah's brown eyes that spoke of so much fondness for him, of so much love for a boy he didn't even know yet.

»It does.« Elijah replied gently. He couldn't deny that, if Elijah really was his father he would be glad. He seemed to be a kind man, a man of noble intentions. Why else would he have searched for his bastard son with the little information he had had in the beginning? Maybe he even hoped that this was indeed true because it would mean that he had still family left somewhere out there. A father, perhaps uncles and aunts and grandparents. Siblings? He had always been quite content with being an only child but if he had to choose, he would have always liked to have a big brother. Perhaps someone like Butch, actually.

»But I … I-I still don't understand it.« Oswald finally gasped and looked from Elijah to Fish with large eyes before going back to Elijah. »Why … What happened? Why did you never search for her … for us? Why did she leave you?« There was anger flaring up inside of him too. He was angry at Elijah for not looking for them, he was angry at his mother for lying to him all these years and angry at Elijah's mother for never telling her son the truth either. Finally, it all made sense how his mother had been able to support them all alone with her relatively small income as a cook. Elijah's mother had paid her. She had paid her the child support his mother would have been owned and probably a bit on top so that she would keep her mouth shut as well.

»I can only assume what happened, Oswald.« Elijah sighed. »Your mother … we fell in love with each other the moment she started working for us almost eighteen years ago. But my mother was very elitist and she had already made plans for me and my future family. You see, my family - our family - is one of the oldest in Gotham, one of the founding families even. We have money, power, and prestige and though I never cared for this sort of thing, my mother took great pride in it. She had to have found out about Gertrud and me at one point and sent her away so that Gertrud would not interfere with her plans. I don't know how it all played out. However … the break up with your mother was brutal and I got no chance to search for her afterward. She just vanished into thin air - but I never stopped thinking about her.«

It seemed odd to discuss all these things in front of Butch and Fish but he didn't want to be alone with this stranger either. Not yet at least. »And when your mother found out about me … She paid her child support.« He mumbled. »So that mother would stay away. So that there wouldn't be a scandal.«

Elijah nodded, his expression solemn and lost in deep thought. »I should have known.« He quietly muttered under his breath.

»Do you … I mean … You married, right?«

»Yes.« Elijah nodded yet again. »Just six months after Gertrud left. It was more of a business deal than anything else, truly. However, I can deem myself lucky to have Grace. I am sure you are going to like her.«

The words came as a surprise and they even startled him quite a bit but then it made sense, of course. Yes, if Elijah was his father why wouldn't he meet his wife and the rest of his family?

»Do you have … I mean … Do I have siblings?« He didn't try to sound too hopeful but Elijah's eyes actually lit up at this question before he quickly nodded.

»A brother and a sister, Charles and Sasha.« He said their names with so much glee and joy that his children would soon meet each other and hopefully get along well. Oswald, however, only had this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he realized that those two, his siblings, had gotten what he should have had, had it not been for his grandmother cheating him out of the privilege of having a father. He hadn't known. They hadn't known. The only person he could be angry at was his grandmother and maybe his mother for playing along and yet he could feel the beast inside his stomach claw its way out of him slowly.

He forced a small smile and hoped it didn't look too bitter as he faced his father. Apparently, though, Fish picked up on his uneasiness as she clasped his left hand gently. »I think we should call it a night here. Please don't think I am being rude, Mr. van Dahl, however, it was a long day and a lot to take in.«

»Of course!« Elijah almost jumped from his chair at her words. »I should head home soon anyway. I don't want you to feel ambushed by my unannounced visit. I hope, though, that I might be allowed to come by tomorrow? After all these years … I would like to get to know my son a little better. We have wasted so much time already.«

Fish looked at him with concern but Oswald nodded sharply. His mouth felt sewn shut, his jaw was locked. He couldn't speak, even if he would want to speak. No words would be able to come out now. It was all just too much and the only thing he knew now was that he wanted to pick up his phone and call Edward. For some reason, he was certain that only hearing Edward’s voice, maybe hearing him ramble on and on about how awful that trip was going, would help him calm down and have it all sink in.

It was actually Butch who was accompanying Elijah to the door after a few last words of goodbye and as he came back, Oswald still felt frozen in place. He didn't talk much after Elijah was gone, only said goodnight to his family before he walked up to his room. He had started unpacking his boxes earlier this same day and now that he looked around he felt silly for doing so. He should be happy, he assumed, as he laid down on his back on the soft mattress of his bed. He had a father. His father was alive. He actually had a family and furthermore, his family was rich.

Wasn’t this what he had always wanted? A family?

Yet, he could not feel anything but bitterness and anger as he stared at the white ceiling above him.

 

**-End of Chapter 9-**


	10. Chapter 10

Standing in front of the house, he couldn't quite believe his eyes. The house towered tall and imposing in front of him surrounded by thick woods. A Victorian building made out of once light stones that had been tainted by the pollution in the air throughout the decades and almost seemed black in parts now. One side of the house that he could see, was almost completely consumed by wild ivy and in the distance, he could make out a small tower with a pointy roof and a weather vane on top. The van Dahl mansion was located a little out of the hustle and bustle of the town in the outskirts of Gotham. There it solemnly stood guard on a small hill over all the other mansions that had been built in the area in the past decades.

He could almost breathe the history of this place as he stood in front of the house. His father had picked him up earlier and after his father's car had passed the iron gates leading into the circular driveway, he hadn't been able to hold back the small gasp escaping his throat, much to his father's amusement.

»This house is over two hundred years old.« His father smiled at him. »It was built by our ancestors after they immigrated from the Netherlands to America and came to Gotham. He was a mere tailor back then but he quickly rose to great wealth and our family became one of the wealthiest in Gotham. We were sewing the finest suits and dresses for the aristocracy of Gotham for generations. It even went so far that, after the tragedy with the Dumas family in 1818, the van Dahls rose to become one of the five ruling families of Gotham’s high society. We grew from a family of simple tailors into aristocracy ourselves.«

His father seemed so proud of the achievements of his ancestors and his heritage that Oswald couldn't help but feel the same sense of pride swell up inside of him. His mother had always told him that he was special and now as he stood in front of this house, he felt that he finally understood what she had meant back then. Here he was now in front of this enchanted looking mansion that seemed from a whole other world, a whole other time - the seat of his family. Oswald was certain that it was still in the original condition as it had been built. A witness to the ups and downs of Gotham, to the crimes and the tragedies unfolding at the foot of the very hill it towered upon.

He could almost see it play out in front of his very eyes, how his ancestors, still nameless and faceless people, walked these premises. Women in lavish dresses, men in smart cut suits and waistcoats. The aristocracy of Gotham.

»Come now, my boy. I’d like to show you the house.« Elijah smiled and gestured towards the front door as his driver drove off to park the car somewhere else.

Oswald quickly, almost hastily, nodded at this and followed his father up the stone steps to the front porch and the impressive front door. The facade alone, even that front door, were already riddled with details that were so manifold that Oswald could not take it all in at once. The door was opened from inside by a grim looking butler who regarded his father with a curt nod and a ‘welcome back, Sir’ as he took his father's coat and his umbrella and proceeded to do the same with Oswald.

He was overwhelmed by it all. The house was quite dark or at least the reception room was where his father and he stood as the butler took their belongings to store them in the adjacent coat room. The reception room and the main hallway it opened up to where tiled in a black and white checkered pattern, the walls covered in dark wallpapers and riddled with portraits, other pictures, and the occasional candle holder. At least the old beeswax candles had been exchanged with electric ones within the past century or so.

»It's a little old fashioned, I know.« His father chuckled and Oswald felt himself deflating right away, suddenly aware how stupid he must have looked as he had stared at his surroundings wide-eyed like a doe in the headlights of an upcoming truck. His father must think him terribly rude.

»No! Not at all!« He quickly shook his head and drove a hand through his hair, immediately regretting his action after all the time Fish had put into styling it this morning. The truth was he had given up after five minutes of trying it himself and had needed her help to show him how it worked. He was still not confident that he would be able to pull it off without her. Then again, his nerves had been all over the place this morning. »It's just … overwhelming.« He added a bit quieter. »It feels like…«

»Like time has been frozen.« His father chuckled and Oswald could only nod dumbfounded. »That's what everyone says. You see, this family has quite a lot of traditions given from father to son in each generation. This house was a gift from my father to me as it had been from my grandfather to him. However, this gift comes with one condition ever since it had been built and that is to keep it just as it is so that it will remain a part of Gotham’s history. It's a nice idea but it costs a lot of money and effort when it comes to renovations and sometimes it feels like living in a museum.« He laughed and clasped his shoulder.

The house seemed even bigger from inside as Elijah was showing him around the ground floor. The rooms seemed to be countless. One formal dining room, one breakfast room, the sunroom, the red parlor in the front of the house, the living room, the tea room, the kitchen, his father's office, a small library and the blue parlor overlooking the garden. All on the ground floor. Not to mention the winter garden and numerous little walk-in closets and various staircases. It was incredibly disorientating for someone like Oswald who had grown up in a two bedroom apartment in downtown Gotham.

»It's impressive.« Oswald found himself muttering as they finally stopped their little house tour inside the living room and sat down on one of the luxurious plush couches in red velvet which were gathered around the ancient stone fireplace - the centerpiece of the room, so to say. It was a rather imposing work of craftsmanship. It was quite chilly inside the house which had to be expected in such an old building, Oswald assumed. However, in front of the fireplace, it was nice and cozy as the crackling fire was warming up the room gradually but persistently. The living room opened up to one of the many terraces surrounding the ground floor of the house with ornate ceiling to floor windows and a matching glass door. A whole array of portraits were covering the wall above the fireplace with one in the center right above it. Long dead van Dahls, he supposed. »It's … overwhelming.«

His father smiled at him warmly just as the butler entered with a silver tray and tea. Apparently, the butler could either read his master’s mind or he followed a strict routine that could not be broken under any circumstances. The aroma of the tea he served them was rich and deep with a hint of lemon and something sweet he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

It was still all so fresh and all so much to take in. He still had a hard time processing that he had a father and even more so that he was now at this father’s ancient family home. Not to mention the fact that he had two younger siblings. He couldn't wait to meet them and yet he felt sick just thinking about it.

Finally, after he had poured ungodly amounts of sugar into his tea (which was Ed’s opinion of the matter anyway), he pointed at one of the larger oval portrait, the centerpiece, above the fireplace that was showing a man not unlike his father. »Who is this?«

»That's my great-grandfather, Manfred. He was the one who actually catapulted our businesses into new heights. He had the radical idea to expand our tailor shops so he started buying smaller shops around town before, in the autumn of his life, he bought three textile manufacturers. A gamble, back in the day, yet one that profited this family greatly. Because of him, not one van Dahl would have needed to ever pick up a needle ever again and yet, my father became an apprentice like every son before him.« He spoke so fondly of his family history that Oswald couldn't help but smile. The thought of having a job that was inherited throughout the generations, given from father to son, was actually pretty nice and somewhat comforting even. Had he grown up here, he would have known what he would do with his life from the start. He would have become a tailor and that was it.

»You were an apprentice too?«

»I was!« He laughed as Oswald sipped his tea. It tasted like lemon cake. Odd. »Had rather a flair for it. But it was not to be. When my father succumbed to illness, my mother held me close to her. Homeschooled me. She felt the need to protect me from the temptations of the city.« Oswald could only nod his understanding before his father's gaze turned softer at once. »All this time I have been afraid to ask about your mother. I am so sorry I abandoned her. Had I known I was also abandoning you … Dear God, I was such a cowardly fool. Did she have a happy life?«

»No.« He mumbled and found himself smiling sadly for just a second. The answer had come naturally to him. It was a truth he had always known in his heart that his mother had not been a happy woman. She had loved him with all her heart, yes, and they had had everything they needed and yet there had been no real happiness in their little apartment or inside her heart. »Not a happy life. But a good one. She never hurt a soul. I was not always a good son, though.« He confessed quieter than before. »And she never spoke a word of reproach.«

»Not always a good son?« His father asked with a small smile and wrinkles on his forehead. There was mirth gleaming in his eyes as if they were sharing some cosmic joke between each other that was unbeknownst to the both of them even. »I find that hard to credit. A nice young man like you.«

»Believe me, I have done bad things.« He shook his head slightly as he recalled all the things he had sometimes said in anger towards her. He remembered how she would have looked at him out of her big blue eyes so full of love and kindness, so heartbroken at times when he would throw a fit because he wasn't like the other boys at school or because they didn't have as much as the other kids.

»We are all sinners, my Boy.« His father smiled and reached over to clasp his left hand in his own to give it a squeeze. »I am sure your mother knew this too.«

»She was a saint.« Oswald huffed and quickly rubbed his eyes with his free hand after he had set down his cup of tea again. Now was certainly not the time to cry even though he felt like he could cry for hours. It was true that he hadn't always gotten along with his mother and that he sometimes had wished she would be less oppressive but his father seemed to know a thing or two about oppressive mothers himself. »The only thing she ever wanted in life was to love me. She was a hard worker and I sometimes repaid all her hard work only with criticism and crude comments or throwing tantrums like a spoiled brat.«

His father squeezed his hand again before he let go. »You are a child, Oswald.« He muttered gently as if Oswald needed a reminder of that. »And I am sure your mother never held it against you.«

»Still … Had it not been for me, she might still be alive.« He sighed.

»Tell me what happened.« Though his father’s smile was soft and bright and could light up this room, Oswald felt his chest tighten at it.

Until now he had not talked to anyone about that night. The memory hurt. He didn't like to think about it any more than he already needed to every time he closed his eyes and saw his mother's dead face stare back at him. Still, his father probably deserved to know the truth, didn't he? They were both victims, after all. His father was the victim of his own mother’s devious schemes and planning and Oswald was the victim of his mother’s willingness to not fight for the man she loved. They both deserved better than this.

»We had a fight.« He mumbled. »A huge one. She picked me up from my dancing lessons late that night and I was pissed because she was running late and wouldn't even allow me to take the bus like every other normal kid. It had been raining very heavily and the roads were slippery. She lost control of the vehicle on a country road and the car overturned twice before it slammed into the guard railing. The car was completely destroyed in the crash and when I regained consciousness, she was already dead. I waited for an eternity for the ambulance and firefighters to arrive. I don't know what really happened that night after the crash, always coming in and out of unconsciousness. I remember that they had to cut me out of the wreck. There were sparks flying everywhere in the rain and I remember thinking that it looked like fireworks. After that, I don't remember anything. I was in a coma for a bit.«

»I understand.« His father replied quietly and with a newfound heaviness to his voice. He squeezed Oswald’s hand yet again in sympathy. »As fate had it, I had a fight with my mother as well shortly before she tragically died. It's the most horrible thing to part from a loved one in such a way.«

»What happened?«

»She fell down a flight of stairs into the basement that same day when the rest of the family was out in the city. We had tickets for the theater but my mother refused to come. I already told the butler he could take the night off and so … Well, it took hours before she was found and by the time we did, she was already cold.« He wondered what his grandmother had been like but thinking about the old lady only caused him to feel enraged. After all, she had been responsible for the fact that Oswald had grown up without a father. How different could his life have been had he grown up in this house with two loving parents instead? He doubted that Jim Gordon would be his boyfriend in this scenario either but perhaps everything would have been a little easier for him? Maybe he would then not have been the victim of constant bullying by his classmates. No one bullied the rich kid, right?

»You said I have siblings … and that you are married?« Oswald smiled shyly to change the subject quickly.

»Yes! They will join us later for dinner. They wanted to give us a bit more space and time together before dinner so that we could get to know each other first.« Oswald nodded with a smile. He was in no hurry to get to know the rest of his family. Of course, he knew that holding a grudge against them was wrong and yet how could he stop himself from just feeling the way he felt? Maybe he was just rotten. He would need to consult with Edward about that. Ed was usually quite good in analyzing his behavior and put a name to it even when Oswald was unable to.

He wondered how his best friend was doing during his camping trip. had he already been able to woo Kristen? He almost expected Ed to return with good news to him tomorrow and somehow he didn't like that idea at all.

The rest of the day he spent with his father was quite pleasant. They were talking about the house, school, about Oswald's foster family and everything his father seemed to think to have missed out on as they were taking a walk through the vast garden of the mansion. Talking with his father was actually very calming and reassuring. He was a calm man with a kind soul and he wondered how he might have turned out under his influence. Maybe he would have turned out to be a sweet kind-hearted boy to which other people flocked because they enjoyed his company. Instead, he was this bitter, cynical little demon that fed on the misery of others like Barbara Kean or Isabella Kringle. To his father, he seemed perfect just the way he was. With every look he shot Oswald, every word he said to him, Oswald felt more and more that he could do no wrong and that, even if he would fall, there was nothing to fear. His father was here to catch him.

Maybe he would be a little more like Kristen Kringle if he would have grown up here. Maybe then Isabella’s jealousy of him would be righteous. And Jim Gordon … Well, maybe he would have been drawn to Oswald instead of a snake-like Barbara Kean then.

When Oswald returned to the house with his father, the rest of his family had already arrived back at the house and a heavenly smell filled the entire mansion as the cook was working his magic in the kitchen.

Grace was a beautiful woman with perfectly styled brown hair and eyes the color of steel. Her daughter, Sasha matched her beauty in every detail and her son, Charles, was her spitting image. They were dressed sharply and elegant even on such a normal day like this just like his father. He felt welcome right away. After all, everyone kept mocking him for his elegant clothing in school but here, for once, he seemed not to be the odd one out. As his father and Oswald entered the red parlor where the others were waiting for them, Grace let out a small gasp at his sight and bridged the distance between them in a matter of seconds just to take him into a loving hug that lingered for almost a heartbeat before she pulled away just enough to brush her fingers over his cheeks and cup his face lovingly as if he was the most precious thing she had ever seen. »My God!« She smiled warmly. »You look just like your father when he was your age. Except for the eyes. Those are-«

»My mother's, yes.« Oswald smiled flustered and though he was the reminder of the woman her husband had loved all those years ago, Grace seemed not to take affront to that. Her daughter was quick to follow her gesture of affection for the new member of the family. He noted idly that Sasha was already taller than her older brother on her high heels. It was ridiculous. Yet, he still had time to grow a bit. Maybe he would hit a growth spurt next summer and be taller than Edward in the end.

»It's so wonderful to finally meet you, Ozzie!« Sasha beamed at him as she let go of him but kept her hands on his shoulders as if she couldn't believe it that he was actually standing right here in front of her. »I couldn't wait ever since Daddy told us about you! It's like I have known you all my life!«

He was overwhelmed by his little sister’s pure joy of meeting him for the first time and even Charles, who was almost as tall as Jim, showed a similar joy towards his big brother. Big brother. What an odd title to have. Yet, had his parents stayed together, he might have become a big brother anyway in due time.

»His name is Oswald, Sasha.« Charles remarked with a roll of his eyes. »Please at least show him enough respect to use his name.«

»No! No, it's okay!« Oswald immediately assured his sister with a flustered smile. »Ozzie is fine. Everyone calls me that.« Even though that was not completely true, it was close enough to the truth to count. He had never really liked being called Ozzie or Oz. He didn't mind it though when Ed would call him this. Or Jim.

Charles seemed uncertain despite his words of assurance and Oswald was not entirely sure what to make of his expression either. Was he concerned that he might say something that would cause bad blood between them already? Of course, the situation was not ideal and they would need a bit more time to actually grow accustomed to each other but Oswald would not want him to tiptoe around him like that. They were brothers, after all. He didn't like it when those closest to him would not talk openly to him.

Dinner was surprisingly harmonic between the five of them. Of course, to Oswald, it was a little awkward sitting here with his newfound family as he was trying to fit into their dynamic as best as he possibly could under these circumstances. Then again, he had not expected for it to not be awkward in any way. It had to have been expected, after all. As he sat there and ate, he thought back to his first night at Fish’s house. He had just been released from the hospital, still covered in bandages from head to toe like a mummy and with his leg in a metal bracer that made moving around the house almost impossible, let alone walking the stairs to his room.

He had spent the first night on the comfortable couch in the living room and it had felt odd to him being surrounded by Fish’s stuff. She had come to the hospital to visit him before he had moved into her house but still she had been a stranger and never before had he slept somewhere that was not his own bed or his mother’s apartment - the hospital being the only exception to that rule. He remembered how much he had hated it and how homesick he had truly been that night. It hadn't been as bad in the hospital, perhaps because he had refused to acknowledge that he would not go home after he would be released. A part of him had still clung to the desperate belief that his mother would be waiting for him just outside and drive him back home. He had come up with numerous excuses for why she hadn't come to visit him in this scenario. His mother had always hated doctors and hospitals.

That night he had not slept at all and he hadn't really had a night of sleep for days afterward, his eyes glued to the white ceiling above his head each time the lights would go out. Perhaps he had still been waiting for his mother to pick him up even though he had known that she was dead and buried. Maybe it was because he hadn't been at her funeral. Maybe seeing her in her coffin and then being lowered into the ground would have made it more real for him.  Now the only reminder he had of her death was a grey marble stone with her name on it and a lily that had been carved into the stone.

»Clear as day: A ghost. She was this pale old woman in a long black dress.« Charles looked him dead in the eyes as he recounted the chilling tale of the ghostly figure he had seen just weeks ago but Oswald couldn't help but notice the amusement in his father's eyes and his thin-lipped smile. He was probably all too happy to see both his sons getting along so well. »She was this close!« Charles ended his story as he gestured between him and Oswald as to point out the distance between himself and that ghostly apparition.

»What did you do?« Oswald asked with a small gasp and Sasha just chuckled before her brother leaned a bit closer over the table, his forehead in wrinkles and amusement glistening in his pale blue eyes.

»Oh, I ran away screaming, of course!« The entire table erupted into laughter at his younger brother’s unabashed words.

»Do you believe in ghosts, Oswald?« Grace asked as she turned her head to the side so she could look at him. Grace was sitting on his right-hand side, his father had taken the place at the head of the table and Sasha and Charles were sitting on the other side from him and Grace. There was no mockery in her question and that was what prompted Oswald to be truthful. It was odd, especially after everything his mother had always warned him about, however, he felt as if he could honestly trust his new family.

»Yes, I do.« He replied honestly. »I’ve seen them.«

»This house has several of them.« His father replied with a knowing smile. He couldn't quite tell if he was trying to fool him like fathers were prone to do with their children or if he was speaking the truth. »But don't worry, they are all quite friendly.«

»Don't listen to him, Oswald!« Grace chuckled. »There are no ghosts here.«

»Oh, there are ghosts, alright.« His father smiled. »This house was built many generations of van Dahls ago and every single one of them died in this house, after all. Yes, many ghosts.« He said with the revery and importance of a man who told a campfire story in his voice. Of course, the mirth never left his eyes. He was clearly poking just a little fun but Oswald had no doubts that there was truth in his words as well. The smile Grace shot her husband and the way she reached over to clasp his left hand was gentle and fond.

After he had first learned about the truth of his parentage and how his father and Grace came to form their unity, he had been angry and sure that this woman held no love in her heart for his poor old father but by the way she was looking at him or the way his younger siblings treated their father, it was clear that he had been wrong.  Of course, he would still have hoped that it would have all come differently and that his mother would be sitting here next to him, decked out in expensive jewelry like Grace was. But at least his father was loved by his family and that was all that mattered. He felt as if he could truly become a part of this family now.

»So, Ozzie.« Sasha broke the resulting silence after a second or two and looked at him out of bright eyes, the light of the candles on the table reflecting in them. »Daddy told us about the tragedy with your mother-«

»Sasha!« Grace erupted and clutched Oswald's right hand on the table. »That is nothing that is to be discussed during dinner. You are overwhelming him with your curiosity.«

»No, no, it's alright.« Oswald replied quietly and stole a glance at Grace. »I can talk about it.« Even though he didn't like it. The smile his father shot him, however, was one of pure pride for his eldest son’s strength. At least that was how Oswald was made to feel as he looked at him now. »What do you want to know?«

»Oh, I…« Sasha trailed off for a second. »I just wanted to know what she was like, you know?« She then smiled. »And I wanted to know about your foster mother. Daddy told me you live with a woman named Fish! I thought that this was very amusing!«

He chuckled quietly. »Fish is not her real name, of course.« He explained. »It's just a nickname. She is … Well, she is something else. But she is a hard working and very kind woman. She has been raising boys like me for two decades now but she already told me that I would be her last, so … Well, I like her. She is very understanding and easy going. She does her best to keep me safe and out of trouble, I suppose.«

»And your mother?« Charles now asked, his curiosity peaked again.

»My mother…« Grace gently squeezed his hand and as he looked at her he could see nothing but kind reassurance in her eyes. It was a look that reminded him through and through of his own mother and how much he truly missed her. »My mother was a bit shrill.« He then huffed. »But she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She never harmed a soul and was kind to everyone around her. She did everything for me, made sure I had everything I could possibly want. She-«

He couldn't go on. He couldn't string a coherent sentence together. All of the sudden it was as if he had lost his tongue or as if his throat had been squeezed shut. He couldn't talk about her. He thought he could but despite those nice little things, he could not say anything else. He couldn't say how he and his mother had sometimes fought. He couldn't say how oppressive she had been at times. He couldn't say how she used to clutch him to herself as if she was afraid someone might steal him. He couldn't say how she would have warned him not to trust anyone but her and how she had instilled this deeply seated distrust into the human race inside of him. He knew that it was mainly his mother's fault that he had never had any real friends and that he had lost the one friend that he did have because he had been too afraid to tell her the truth.

Grace, however, seemed to see his struggle and cleared her throat. »It's getting late.« She reminded her husband softly. »I don't want to worry Miss Mooney in keeping Oswald prisoner in this house for so long. After all, it's a school day tomorrow.«

It was not long after that that Oswald found himself sitting in the back seat of the car again with his father as the driver was maneuvering them through the serpentine country road that was leading to the van Dahl mansion and back into the hustle and bustle of Gotham city. He felt exhausted and full and though he was tired out of his mind he knew that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. He could already picture Fish waiting for him anyway. They would sit down in the living room with a cup of tea, perhaps with Butch and they would want to know everything.

»Can I take your silence as a sign that you are overwhelmed?« His father addressed him in the darkness of the car with a fond smile and Oswald, though first feeling called out and blushing, nodded quickly.

»Yes.« He then whispered. »I … It's just … I still can't believe that all of this isn't a dream, you know?«

Gently his father put an arm around his shoulders. »It isn't a dream, my boy.« He reassured him. »And I can't wait to spend more time with you from now on. I want to get to know you better, I want to make up for everything we missed.«

Oswald nodded and again his throat felt tight and his eyes were burning. »I would like that.« He squeezed out finally.

»I am glad to hear this, Oswald.« His father smiled. »There is something I wanted to ask you before we say goodnight.«

»Oh?«

»Now that we found each other after so many years, I wondered if you would consider moving in with us. You are a part of this family, after all. It isn't that I wouldn't trust in Miss Mooney's capability of raising a young gentleman like you, it's just that we have already lost so much time together and … Well, I talked about it with Grace … And we came to the conclusion that you should be with us.«

He couldn't process his father's words. Until now, he had not even quite thought about the possibility that his family would want to have him at their house. Of course, it might have been stupid not to think this way but he simply hadn't. It hadn't occurred to him at all! And now here they were. His father wanted him to be a proper part of this family and he just sat here unable to form a coherent sentence.

Instead, a sob escaped him and alarmed his father.

»Oh … Oswald, I didn't mean to hurt you … Please, by all means, you don't need to decide right away! We have all the time you need!«

»No!« He managed to gasp between sobs and harshly tried to wipe the tears from his face as they stubbornly kept flowing. »I mean … Yes. I … I want to come home.«

 

**-End of Chapter 10-**


	11. Chapter 11

He didn't know how to tell Fish. a part of him was certain that she already knew or at least suspected what was to come ever since Elijah van Dahl came into his son’s life only two days ago. She was a smart woman, after all, and Oswald felt as if it was just the normal progression of things that his father would want to have his son home. Even though to Oswald it had been quite the surprise to realize that. He had not thought it to be possible that his father would want him at his house and in his family.

It seemed impossible that it had only been two days. Saturday night seemed so far away already and the thought that he had a father and a real family out there waiting for him seemed just completely natural and at the same time, he still couldn't quite believe it. He was certain that it would all become much more real when he would have talked to Edward about it. Somehow everything seemed just a bit more real after he had talked about it with Edward. It was … odd, really, how much influence this weird jittery nerd had on him.

Still, their paths crossed only during lunch break on this particular day and even though Jim Gordon had asked him if he wanted to sit with him again, the moment Oswald caught a glimpse of Edward entering the cafeteria, he needed to excuse himself to catch Edward before Isabella might dig her claws into her boyfriend again. He was growing sick and tired of this girl’s behavior and her efforts of trying to keep Edward and Oswald separated at all times. How unsure of herself could one single girl be? Not even Oswald was that desperate!

The way he grabbed Edward by the arm to nonchalantly pull him to a table at the side of the room was a bit weird, perhaps but although Edward seemed startled by the attack, he didn't quite seem angry because of it in any way. »Hey, hey, hey!« He huffed, amusement dripping from his voice. »Now, it seems someone fell out of his nest this morning!«

The bird puns never got old - at least not in Ed’s eyes as it seemed but today, Oswald only acknowledged the pun with a roll of his eyes. He was vibrating with the need of telling Edward the news and yet he had been raised to be a polite gentleman. »How was your trip?« He asked and caught himself tapping his foot impatiently on the ground. Edward seemed oblivious to his current state of being, however. Hell, this man was so smart and yet so very blind to the things right in front of him at times! This was ridiculous! And still, Oswald allowed Edward this moment of utter ignorance.

»It was a nightmare.« Ed frowned and decided now was the right moment in time to stop poking at his own food and that he would rather steal Oswald’s red jello. Not that he would have minded. He didn't like that stuff anyway. Too many chemicals and artificial flavoring.

»Why?« He asked and gave his best impression of Edward’s concerned best friend that he could muster at this moment even though it wasn't easy at all. It wasn’t so much that he wouldn’t care but rather the fact that he had so much to tell his best friend. He could feel the impatience clawing its way through his guts. »I mean … wasn’t this your chance of wooing Kristen?«

»It would have been, yes.« Ed shrugged. »Had Kristen been there. However, she decided rather last minute that she wouldn't come along. Tom had something where he wanted her to be and so she went with him. Of course, she would … Hell, I believe that this plan of ours is failing big time, Ozzie.« He groaned. Under different circumstances, Oswald would be rather bummed out by Edward’s words because somehow it wouldn't seem right if he would manage to get Jim to really like him while Edward wouldn't get Kirsten. They had made a deal, after all. Ed would help him get Jim and he would help Ed to get Kristen. If Ed wouldn't get Kristen, then what right would he have to get Jim? It would seem unfair - even though this was not how emotions worked anyway and he was very aware of that fact. Never mind that selfish little voice in the back of his mind telling him that he should not concern himself with Ed’s predicament and focus on his own happiness with one James Gordon. Now, at this particular moment in time, though, Oswald found it very hard to concern himself with any Kristen Kringle related matter.

»What a bummer.« He mumbled but before he could say something about his own weekend, Ed proceeded to talk and cut him off right as Oswald opened his mouth to speak.

»Yes! And then Isabella and I had a huge fight the moment we arrived at the campsite and her parents were a pain in the ass anyway. Her mother kept asking me about my plans for the future and I … I didn't know what to tell them.« He could feel that there was something Edward wanted to tell him and yet couldn't do so. He felt it vibrating inside of his best friend. He had news too and yet he didn't seem able to formulate them quite yet. Under different circumstances, he would have asked him about that. »I mean … They expect big things of me, I guess. College … a doctor title perhaps. At the very least they expect me to ask Isabella to marry me in due time and marry her as soon as she graduates from high school to then proceed to have a bunch of kids and a house with a white picket fence!« He scoffed with a roll of his eyes before he started munching down Oswald’s red jello with a gusto that Oswald would never quite understand.

By now his foot and his left leg were vibrating. »So-«

»You look different.« Ed interrupted him again and furrowed his brows as he took in his appearance. Oswald, on the other hand, did his best to put on his most smug grin.

»You noticed!« He replied a bit overdramatic. Still, he was oddly flattered that his best friend had noticed the change in his appearance no matter how slim it really was. »I’m doing my hair a different way.«

»No … No, that's not it.« Edward shook his head gently. »Though yes, I noticed. New clothes too. I see the shopping trip with Mama Fish was a success. It looks good. You look great. There is something else, though.«

 _You look great_. For some odd reason, those words were repeating over and over in his head now. Weird what effect they had on him coming from his best friend. »There is something I really need to tell you, Ed.«

»Is this about Jim Gordon? I saw him talking to you earlier … Don't tell me you actually already made a move, Ozzie! We agreed to come up with a strategy for that!«

»No!« Oswald replied a little louder before catching himself and leaning closer towards Ed. »God, no, Ed!« He huffed. »I am not insane, you know? No! Something else happened, Ed! Something … something incredible! Something amazing!«

Now intrigued he could see the sparkle in Ed’s eyes as he leaned in closer as well. »Be out with it!« Just a little closer now and their noses would be touching.

»I met my father, Ed!« Speaking the words still felt surreal. Despite telling Ed and thus validating what had happened two days ago, it felt surreal.

»What?« Ed replied with just a hint of being startled by Oswald’s words before he started to blink rather rapidly. He knew by now that Edward always did this kind of thing when he was desperate to understand something that otherwise did not seem to make any sense. »Your father is dead, Oswald. You told me!«

»Yes, well, that's what I thought!« Oswald huffed. »But he isn't! My mother lied to me! He found me, Ed!« Perhaps he had never been more excited that his mother had lied to him in his whole life. Ed’s face was a mask of pure and utter confusion as he stared back at him. His brown eyes were practically unreadable to Oswald. He had expected … Yes, what? What had he expected how Ed would react? Joy, perhaps? Now he looked more concerned than anything.

»That sounds … like a thrilling story.« He carefully began as he adjusted his glasses. »What happened?«

However, the moment he wanted to open his mouth to tell him everything that had happened on Saturday and Sunday, he caught a glimpse of Isabella entering the cafeteria. He knew what would happen even before Isabella found Ed and Oswald sitting together. He could see the stormcloud form above her head and the ugly green beast rear its head in the pit of her stomach. For an instant, he had this irrational desire to grab Edward by the hand and take him far away from this situation and away from Isabella.

He was done seeing his best friend being so worn down by his girlfriend. Sure, Isabella was not inherently a bad person but this relationship wasn’t working. It was toxic. Neither one of them was happy and still, she couldn't let go of him. It was an enigma to him what her deal was. Was it truly the fear of losing Edward or of being alone then?

»There you are, Ed!« Isabella frowned as she reached their table and grabbed him by the arm. »Did you forget that you promised me to help me with my chemistry project?«

Ed was a man who never forgot stuff and thus as he saw how confused Ed looked, Oswald could tell that it was just an excuse to get Ed’s attention and getting him away from Oswald perhaps even. The glare he shot Isabella was probably speaking volumes the way Ed looked at him for it. Not that Ed would mind him glaring at his girlfriend per se. Quite the contrary, actually, and yet he still had to keep up at appearances at least somewhat.

»Was this today?« He asked dumbfounded as he looked at her.

»We talked about it all weekend!« Isabella huffed. »But, oh I forgot! Of course, you only have eyes and ears for Oswald anyway!« By now several people were looking over at them. He could spot Jerome Valeska sitting with his twin and glancing over from a few tables away. He had been relatively tame ever since the photo and the diner incident. Tame enough to make Oswald lower his guard, perhaps even? His ears were burning already at the attention their table got because of Isabella's choice of words and Ed seemed even more uncomfortable than his usual default mode. »I mean, honestly, Ed! What am I supposed to think now? Oswald calls for you and you jump! You don't even care about me anymore!«

»That's not true and you know that.« Ed hissed and kept his voice down deliberately as he stole a glance or two at the neighboring tables were people had already started to snicker or whisper to themselves. In front of them, a dramatic scene was unfolding and Oswald knew that this was exactly what Isabella had wanted too. They both knew Ed couldn't stand people making a scene. With a sigh, Edward rose from his chair and abandoned his tray. He had only eaten the red jello he had stolen from Oswald and had otherwise not even touched his own food while he normally ate it all and Oswald’s too as if he wouldn't get something at home. »Sorry, Oswald.« He mumbled quietly. »Your story has to wait until later … _Apparently_ , I promised Isabella to help her with her project because she isn’t able to do just anything without me.«

Even despite his snarky words and the clear attack on his girlfriend, Isabella seemed pleased as she grabbed his arm to make him follow her. He should have broken up with her right here and now. In front of everyone. That was what she would have deserved! Why didn't he break up with her already? Couldn't he see how abusive her behavior was? Couldn't _she_ see how toxic their relationship was?

He looked after them as they left and caught Isabella glancing back over her shoulder at him with a smirk and he caught himself nearly throwing his tray at her for it. All he wanted was to see Edward happy at last. He was tired of his pained expression when he would be with her. He was tired of Edward using every excuse in the book to stay at school longer so that he wouldn't need to go home. A part of him wished he could live with him at Fish’s house. No … Not Fish’s house … He wouldn't be living there for much longer, would he? Then again … Ed would be welcome at her house nevertheless. She would take him in with wide open arms and he would have it good there!

However, he was not only angry at Isabella. She was trying to keep her man and would do everything in her power to do so. Ed, on the other hand, could have told her to fuck off. He had been too afraid of her causing a scene and rather given into her demands than to stay with Oswald despite his news. He felt a bit empty as he sat alone at his table now and the looks of the other students around were like poison. It wasn't new to him being humiliated at all and yet it hurt a little more than usual this time around. In the end, he got up and left without having touched his food at all.

For the rest of the day, he couldn't get a hold of Edward and that only furthered his anger as he finally caught him in the parking lot. Well, maybe it had been inevitable after Oswald had been sitting on the hood of Edward’s green car for the last hour. Sooner or later he had needed to come here, right? It was already getting late and Ed seemed stressed out of his mind as he walked towards the car. Surprise did not even cross his face when he found Oswald sitting on his car. By now, the parking lot was almost empty.

»Where were you?« Oswald frowned. »We were supposed to go to the pool today. You didn't show so I practiced alone until the swim team came. It was awful.«

»I’m sorry.«

»Sorry doesn't cut it, Ed. You promised me you would help me and then you left me hanging because Isabella caused a scene. Because you are too afraid to put your foot down for once.«

»It's not that easy.«

»Yes, it is!« He thundered as he jumped off the hood of the car to properly confront his friend with all this righteous anger he felt. Maybe he was behaving a bit unfair and yet there was no going back now. »Unless you are really this afraid of other people thinking you might be gay because you are my friend.«

»That's not it, Oz!« Ed exclaimed seemingly at his wit’s end the way he wrung his hands and trying his best friend that his words were the truth. Still, Oswald couldn't act like Ed not wanting to be associated with him because of his sexuality was one of his biggest fears.

»Then what's the big deal? Why can't you just break up with her at last? You have to do it anyway if you want Kristen!«

»You have it easy…«

»What?« He sputtered.

»You heard me! You have it easy, Oswald! You don't have a father who is going to beat the shit out of you if he would think you’re gay!«

»But you aren't!«

»So what? Do you think this asshole would care? Do you think Isabella cares? Do you think she would not go to my father and cry to him how I broke up with her for you? She would! She would sit and watch and enjoy it as revenge!«

They had never talked about Ed’s father. Not really. Here he was, wanting to tell him how wonderful his own newfound family was and he had never stopped to consider what Ed was going through. As he reached out to him, he expected his hand to be slapped away but this didn't happen. Ed let him touch his cheek and he allowed Oswald to pull him into a hug even though Ed needed to lean down quite a bit for that. In the end, he felt how Ed rested his weight on him completely and how his arms wrapped around his middle as if he wanted to squeeze the last bit of air out of Oswald’s lungs. He wondered when Ed had last been hugged like this by anyone. He wondered when he himself had last been hugged by anyone like this. Had he ever? A part of him didn't want to pull away but in the end, they had to and he caught Ed wiping his cheeks hastily before he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

It took him a moment before, with a deep sigh, Ed sat down on the hood of his own car and for Oswald to join him to sit by his side. They were silent for a while because Oswald didn't know what to say. Sorry? Sorry wasn't enough.

»I don't want you to be this sad.« He said instead. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to say, it was hard to decide that. Still, it had seemed to be the right thing at this very second and to his surprise, Ed actually grabbed his left hand that was resting between them on the hood to squeeze it. »Tell me about it, Ed.«

»I don't-«

»I want to hear it.« Because apparently, no one was willing to listen to Ed. Isabella certainly didn't care. She just pretended to care. She didn't love him. She wanted to have him. There was a difference there. Even Oswald knew this. Ed seemed conflicted for the moment as he worried his bottom lip between his teeth and glanced at Oswald from the side.

»I don't know how.« He then admitted a lot quieter than ever before. Ed was not the type of person who liked admitting that he was not always in charge or on top of his game. He understood this. Oh … He understood this.

»Start at the beginning?« He then offered with a small encouraging smile.

To his surprise, Ed repaid him with a small smile of his own and a huff that almost sounded like a chuckle as if Oswald had said something incredibly funny. The situation was strangely intimate but not in a weird way. It felt good having a friend like Ed. It felt good knowing that he could tell Ed everything that was on his mind and heart and not being judged. It felt good how Ed held onto his hand as if he needed it to anchor himself in the here and now. It felt good not being afraid to touch someone, not being afraid to be judged for touching someone. He would never want to miss this ever again. Ed already meant too much to him despite the short time they only knew each other. It was October now and yet it felt as if he already knew Edward for all his life.

»Well, it started when mom died, I guess. She was sick. I already told you that dad and I never got along before but … seeing her wither away from this giant tumor in her head … It was awful.«

He mumbled quietly and Oswald could only imagine how it must have been. Seeing his own mother dead in this car wreckage had been scarring enough. He could still see her unseeing eyes wide open staring back at him in especially dark nights. At least her death had been quick, though.

»She was in pain all the time and dad couldn't afford to send her to a hospice or even to pay for her medical bills. She was in agony when she died, she was hallucinating, sometimes she didn't recognize us. I was her older brother Edward for her most of those days. Uncle Ed had died as a teenager. Drugs. She always told me that I shouldn't do this, that I should stay away from this poison and I never understood what she meant, of course, until a few years later. Heck, I was a kid, right? And dad … He didn't know how to cope with it. Sometimes she was violent to him because she was afraid and didn't recognize him. Dad … Dad isn't all bad, you know? it would be easy to say he is evil and had always been evil but that's not how the real world works.

He suffered a lot through all of this with her. She was the love of his life, his high school sweetheart. In the end, he hated her and she hated him. But when she died - hell, I thought maybe dad would sober up and be relieved even. Instead, her death catapulted him to new lows … His drinking got out of hand and even though he had never been violent to me before her death, he started lashing out on me for the tiniest things. He stopped cooking. He stopped coming home from work, sometimes for days. I know that he can’t stand looking at me. I look too much like her, have too much of her, too little of him. The worst beating I got from him was when I was fifteen and told him that I wanted to become a scientist. He beat my ass so badly I couldn't go to school for a week. Not that he would have cared.«

He found himself resting his head against Edward’s shoulder and didn't know why. Still, Ed didn't shove him away. If anything, he seemed to relax under the contact to him. They were gravitating towards each other at all times as it seemed now.  Odd. Never had he felt more comfortable with anyone.

»It's not your fault, you know that, right?« Oswald mumbled so quietly Edward could easily act as if he hadn't heard him at all if this would make him feel better.

»I know.« He admitted quietly but Oswald wasn't convinced. Of course, Ed thought it was his fault. Kids always think it's their fault. »Anyway … He started to relax a little when I brought Isabella home for the first time. He outright told her that he was relieved to see her because he was convinced that I was a fag - sorry, his words not mine.« Oswald grunted in response. Yes, words hurt but not coming from Ed. Not like this. »You know what's funny? His words have always hurt a lot worse than the beatings.«

»I was always more hurt by words than actions too.« Oswald admitted. »They are like daggers into your heart.«

Edward hummed his agreement. »Still, when I came back home last Friday … I don't know…«

»What happened on Friday?« And why was he hearing about it only now?

»I got a letter from Harvard.« Oswald sat up straight again in surprise. »They wanted me. Full scholarship.«

»What?« He sputtered right away. »Ed! That’s great!« And though it would mean that Edward would leave him here all alone, Massachusetts wasn’t this far away from New York, right? He could easily visit him there. Ed would be great in Harvard … He would become even smarter and would be able to do so many great things. He felt pride wash over him and yet Ed’s eyes remained saddened by his joy.

»Dad found the letter before I came home. He read it, of course, and attacked me. No surprise there, I guess. He never wanted me to go to any college at all. Of course, we don't have the money but he doesn't even want me to get a scholarship either. You know how rare it is to get one just because of your academic achievements, Oswald? Usually, only athletes get scholarships like this. My mother would have been stoked. But he … Dad wants me to follow in his footsteps, become a mechanic for the machines in Maroni’s factories, run around in coveralls and drink beer. He wants me to be a real man, not some nerdy little weirdo.«

»What did you do then?«

»I threw away the letter and went on the camping trip. And Isabella was talking about going to Europe for the next semester and then college and her parents were so proud and supportive. It was a nightmare. I got into a huge fight with her because her dad asked me what I was going to do and I told him that I would become a mechanic at Maroni’s. Isabella was furiously embarrassed. Her father can't stand me anyway and I only made it worse. Everyone in her family has a doctors degree or is a lawyer. Her dating a mechanic-to-be was like a slap in the face and she couldn't understand it. I don't blame her. It came quite out of the blue, after all.«

»Still« Oswald shrugged. »If she really loved you, she wouldn't care. I wouldn't care if I was in her shoes. I would want you to do what makes you happy. I would have been upset that you threw away your dreams like this but not embarrassed.«

»You are sweet.« Ed repeated the words he had already said on Friday with a smile and once again took off his glasses to squeeze the bridge of his nose.

»No, I am stupid … I feel stupid. Here I am being angry at you for not listening to me earlier as I wanted to gush about my family while you were suffering. You should not be suffering. You shouldn't go home anymore.«

»I think I don't have much choice, do I?«

»You do.« Oswald huffed impatiently. »You are sleeping at my place tonight.«

»Tomorrow is school.«

»So?« Oswald huffed. »I don't see the problem. Besides … I need your help.«

Fish, much as expected, had not voiced any objections to Ed staying the night. She had only smiled this knowing smile that usually drove Oswald insane and allowed it. Of course, they had made a pit stop at Ed’s house after Ed had been certain that his father wasn't home, to pick up a set of fresh clothes for Ed. Sometimes he wondered if Fish already knew what was going on at Ed’s house. Was it only Oswald who was so blind? No … She just had more experience, right? After all, she had probably seen more than enough kids coming from abusive households over the past two decades.

Outside the world was dark and the house was silent as Oswald switched off the small lamp on his bedside table. It felt weird having someone else in his room like this. He had never had someone stay overnight. He had never had someone visiting his home. Ed seemed to be the exception to every rule in his life already and he was a bit worried about how much more out of hand this might get.

Fish had provided them with an old metal camp bed that she had stored away in the attic. Apparently, slumber parties had not been a rarity before in this house and only stopped in recent years. He couldn't quite picture Butch being the slumber party type of guy anyway. Butch had helped to get it down and setting it up for Edward. He hadn't asked any uncomfortable questions and neither had Fish. Oswald had just brought Ed home for dinner and had asked her politely if it was okay and she had opened her house and her arms and all the comfort she could give to Edward in return.

»I never had someone stay overnight.« Oswald muttered into the darkness and shifted on his bed so that he would lie on his left side, facing towards Edward. They had made room for him to the best of their abilities right next to Oswald’s narrow desk. In the darkness, he couldn't quite see him but everytime a car would drive by the house, there would be enough light coming from outside for him to make out his silhouette on the camp bed at least.

»Me neither.« Ed huffed. »Even during that camping trip, I slept alone. I mean … Of course. As if Isabella's parents would allow us to sleep in the same tent! Imagine the scandal!«

He wasn't really surprised but this opened up a new set of questions for him about which he had never thought before. »Wait … Did you ever have sex with her?«

There was a moment of silence between them and immediately Oswald regretted his question. Why did he ask this? It wasn't his place to ask! »No.« The answer came regardless with a low chuckle. »Never. She is very strict about it. No sex before marriage. Well, not that I would want that anyway … Not anymore, anyway. I mean in the beginning, yes, I wanted to sleep with her. Mainly because she looked like Kristen and I could have imagined her to be her sister. God … that sounds awful, doesn't it?«

»It does.« Oswald smirked. »But it's the truth and you are only human, right?«

»Sometimes I wonder.« Ed snorted. »And what about you?«

»What about me?« He wasn’t stupid. Of course, he knew exactly where Ed was going with this question. Heck, he probably deserved it.

»Ever had sex with someone?« Suddenly his ears were burning so badly he was certain they were blistering. »An ex-boyfriend perhaps?«

»Well … I … I…« He sputtered and suddenly wished that Ed would not be here at all - or that the ground would open up to swallow him whole. »No ex-boyfriend…« Edward had been honest and so he owed him that same honesty. »I mean … how would any guy ever want to date me anyway … Plus, my mother would have never allowed it.«

»Don't say that.« Ed replied a bit sharper and the rustling he heard indicated that he was propping himself up on his elbow.

»I’m not a catch.« Oswald scoffed. »And I know that, Ed.«

»Me neither.« Edward replied right away and though Oswald would beg to differ, he proceeded. »You might not be a Jim Gordon type of guy or conventionally attractive for a man but you are not ugly, Ozzie. Stop telling yourself that. In time, you will find a boyfriend. I mean, Jim seems to like you, right?«

»Yes … Yes, he does.« He sighed. Suddenly, he did not know anymore if he was ecstatic about that fact or not. Having Jim being interested in him like this would only bring forth even more problems, right? »When we were still friends, I almost thought Jerome would like me in that way.«

Silence befell them again, only disrupted by the honking of a car outside, the screeching of a cat in the adjacent alley and the sound of garbage cans being rattled. The sounds of Gotham by night were like a lullaby.

»So you really want to move in with your dad so soon?« Ed then broke the silence again. Almost he had forgotten that they had talked about all of this on their drive home to Fish. Of course, he had told Ed every little detail about this weekend. He had told him how he had met his father and what he had learned about his own mother through this meeting. He had told him about Grace and his siblings and how welcoming they had all been to him and how loved he had felt right away. And of course, he had told him about how his father had asked him to move in with them.

»You don't seem thrilled by the idea.«

»No … it's just … I don't know your father.« This statement was so weird that it should have made him take a double take but coming from Edward … It did not feel weird at all. He knew where he was coming from. He wanted to protect his best friend. That was it, wasn't it? »I just mean … Gee, I don't know … I just don't want you to get hurt, okay?«

»Why would I get hurt?«

»Because … What if they turn out to be really nasty to you after a while? Or what if they won't accept you as you are? You met your father only twice and the rest of them just one time … I’m afraid that you moving in with them will not turn out to be as great as you hope it to be.«

»So you’re saying I should rather stay here?«

»Listen, I can't make that decision for you. I would stay here for a little while longer, get to know those people first. Perhaps spend an entire weekend there or the holidays. See if it would fit, right?« Of course, what he said made sense and yet they both knew that Oswald Cobblepot was not a very patient young man. »However, I can understand if you want to do it as soon as possible too, Oz. You lost so much time with your father already and you probably yearn for a real family like this. I get it. Does Fish know?«

»No.« He sighed and pulled his blanket higher. »I don't know how to tell her … I don't want her to get hurt, you know? I don't want her to think that I leave her because I would hate it here. I really like her. I like it here. I even like Butch. But they are my family, right? Surely, she knows that I would want to move in with them.«

»You should be upfront with her. Just tell her the way you told me.« Edward replied quietly. »Tell her tomorrow after school. Right away. No procrastinating. Like ripping off a band-aid. If you want me to, I will be there to support you.«

 

**-End of Chapter 11-**


	12. Chapter 12

He found Isabella brooding over a piece of paper as he entered the classroom. They were the only ones in the room for now and it was still too early in the day to be looking this miserable, at least in Oswald's opinion. Though, of course, usually, he would be the one looking miserable like this so early in the day. This was kind of his thing - but not today. Not on this particular Tuesday morning. He had had breakfast with Ed and the rest of his family and then Ed had driven them both to school. That also was the reason why Oswald was this early and could stumble upon Isabella like this. Apparently, Edward could not stand the thought of running late when it came to school while Oswald couldn't care less about school.

There was a moment of pause as Isabella looked up from the piece of paper before her and looked at him, a moment in which he didn't know what to say or how to behave. Her disdain for Oswald was clear as day written all over her pretty pale face. They had only rarely talked until now and there had never been any reason for them to talk anyway. Now, however, Oswald decided it was time to change that. He felt motivated by everything that had happened as of late. It was time for a change. Time for a fresh start.

So, he cleared his throat a little awkwardly as he limped over to his usual desk but before he could speak up, it was Isabella who broke the uncomfortable silence between them. »It has gotten better.« She said and as she was met with Oswald's confused stare, she pointed at his leg. »Your limp. It's gotten better. Your therapy with Ed seems to work.«

»It does … Yes.« He mumbled as he sat down heavily and leaned his crutch against his desk. Was it paranoid of him that he almost expected Isabella to take his crutch and beat him over the head with it? »He is a great friend.«

»He is, isn't he…« Although she was looking at him still, her eyes seemed to look right through them. In fact, her mind seemed a million miles away. It was quite clear that she had something on her mind that she couldn't or didn't want to articulate. At least not with him around.

»Is everything alright? You seem a bit sad, if you don't mind me saying so.«

»Sad?« She asked and suddenly seemed a bit flustered judging by the way she tried fixing her hair quickly. »No … No, not sad just … Ourgh … I don't know what I feel, to be honest.« Oswald glanced at the clock above the blackboard. They had at least twenty minutes before the other students would start to drip into the room.

»Maybe … I know that we aren’t friends but … If you want to talk about it … I was told that I am a good listener.« It was a bold move, perhaps. He knew about Isabella’s opinion of him through Edward and not only his jealousy. She was the type of person who held little respect for people who shared his nature. However, judging by her upbringing, his was hardly a surprise, he guessed.  

»So I’ve heard, yes.« She huffed and through her eyes still clearly spoke of the low opinion she held for him, she at least seemed to consider it for a moment. »Okay, you know what? Why not. After all, my boyfriend isn't listening to me anyway, right? You are the next best thing after you boys are currently attached at the hip.«

»I'm sorry if I intruded on your relationship, Isabella. I can assure you that my motives are pure.«

She didn't believe him - that much was clear judging by the way she looked at him with one raised eyebrow. He could almost hear the comment she was wanting to make. Yet, she swallowed what she had on her tongue instead of telling it. Now was not the time to make a scene, apparently, even though Oswald would not go as far as to think that she was for once actually mindful of another person’s feelings. Isabella was the type of girl who never stopped to consider how another person felt.

»It's not your fault.« She then sighed. »Ed and I … Our relationship has been weak and troubled for a while now. It's not your fault. I know that you are just his friend and I am glad that Ed found a friend like you.« She glanced at the papers in front of her again shortly. »I received an acceptance letter yesterday. I applied for an exchange year in Italy earlier this year. Actually, when I did so, I hoped Ed would follow me there but he decided not to apply as well.«

A part of him wanted to slap some sense into her. As if Ed would be able to afford something like this! She, as his girlfriend, should know better than this! Still, Oswald bit his tongue and refused to criticize her.

»And now you were accepted to go to Italy?«

»Yes. Starting in November already, actually. But I don't know what to do now. I mean … should I go without Ed? Should I stay? I don't want to lose him but perhaps a break would do us some good as well.«

This was his chance now and he knew that it was. This was the make it or break it moment to free Edward from his girlfriend once and for all. Oswald did his best to strengthen his poker face once more as he frowned as if he was honestly thinking about her predicament. »I think that you should definitely take this chance. I mean … this is something you don't get to do every day. I know that it must be hard but sometimes it's more important to do what's best for yourself, right? Perhaps a break from each other is what you need and when you return and you guys still have feelings for each other then it was meant to be, right? Use this opportunity to get your head clear.«

He almost expected her to lash out on him and accuse him of something as ridiculous as wanting to steal her man while she was away. However, she did nothing like that in the end. She just looked at him, contemplating his words before she nodded. »I think you are right.« She replied and then, with a small smile, she added: »I mean … I knew that this was the right answer before I just … I needed to hear it from someone else, I guess.«

He could almost not believe his ears but he bit the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from grinning.

※※※※※※※

As he lazily watched a flock of birds fly by on an azure blue October day, Ed thought briefly how oddly well-rested he actually felt and how nice it had been to wake up in a house buzzing with activity. It had been oh so very comforting to have breakfast with Oswald, Fish and even Butch Gilzean before Butch had left to pick up his girlfriend like he did every morning whenever he would not give Oswald a ride to school. This, he had thought sitting at the round kitchen table, was what family was supposed to feel like.

It had been nice and he had felt content for once in his life. He had slept through the entire night without any kind of disturbance for once. No father who rattled with empty beer bottles in the middle of the night. Nothing of that sort. Just heavenly silence and the occasional sound of Oswald shifting and turning in his creaky bed. Ed had never shared a room with anyone before. He had never had anyone over for a sleepover and for him, just as it was for Oswald, it had been new and odd and strange and yet, since it had been Oswald, it had been weirdly okay. More than that, perhaps. He had expected that he would have troubles sleeping but instead, he had felt rested and well as he woke up in Oswald's room.

And Oswald … Well, he had been quite the sight to behold this early in the morning. All fluffy messy hair and scrunched-up face. He was certainly not a morning person, very much unlike Edward himself.

For once, his school day went over quite pleasantly. There were no dramatic incidents throughout his day that would have prompted Ed’s attention, other than Isabella asking him to go to the diner with her after school to talk. He had spent lunch with Oswald with no interference from Isabella this time, oddly enough. However, it was Oswald who cleared up this mystery for him pretty quickly with gleaming blue eyes.

Sure enough, Oswald relished in the fact that he had been able to convince Isabella to end her relationship to Ed - at least for the time she would be in Europe.

Knowing what would be coming his way when he would later meet up with Isabella, was actually quite calming for Ed. He liked knowing what he was in for. He liked knowing what ludicrous ideas other people had before throwing them his way. This afternoon, as Edward left the building, he did so alone. Oswald was going to attend his last little training session with Jim Gordon in self-defense and then he would talk to Fish about his inevitable move into the van Dahl estate. Of course, that was something his best friend worried greatly about and he had promised to call Ed after he had done it. A part of him wanted desperately to be there for him when he would talk to Fish. He could only imagine how hard it would be for the both of them.

Over his idle thoughts, he had almost not heard the loud voices coming from a more secluded corner of the yard as he walked past. He recognized Kristen’s voice right away as she was shouting at another person from behind the next corner. Eavesdropping was not polite and yet, Ed couldn't help himself as he walked closer, always careful not to be heard or seen by the participants of the fight. Then again, he had to admit that he was thrilled as he recognized Tom Dougherty’s voice as well. Kristen was fighting with her boyfriend yet again, just like Oswald had said before.

Only as he heard Kristen yelp out in pain did Edward leave the safety of the corner he stood behind quickly. He didn't even waste another second to think about it. Normally, he wasn't a very courageous kind of person. However, it was hard being around someone as resilient as Oswald Cobblepot and not be a tad bit more courageous too.

As he rounded the corner, he caught Tom pressing Kristen against the wall behind her. Tom was almost as tall as Ed was and thus towering quite impressively over his girlfriend as he held her wrists in a bruising grip between them.

»Let go of me, Tom!« Kristen hissed before either one of them even took notice of Edward's sudden arrival at the scene.

»Not until you told me what your fucking problem is all of the sudden!« Tom thundered. Kristen, who was usually not easily frightened, looked like a deer in the headlights of an upcoming truck. It was this exact reason that prompted Edward to grab Tom Dougherty, who was almost twice his size when it came to pure muscle mass and strength, by the shoulder and pulled him away from Kristen in an instant as if suddenly overcome by an increase in strength and courage. He had heard of people experiencing something like this - but usually, these reports referred to parents lifting cars to save their kids or people in near-death experiences.

»Didn't you hear her, Tom? Let her go!« His voice didn't seem to belong to him anymore as he said these words and both Kristen and her boyfriend looked at him in shocked confusion. Edward, on the other hand, recognized that deep gravelly voice as the one he had so often heard in his darkest hours in the back of his mind. It had always been there. Ever since his childhood - a loyal commenter of his every thought. Not so much a friend as he was a tempter.

He could watch how Tom’s lips curled into a thin-lipped ugly sneer as he turned around to face Ed fully. He knew that, if Tom would actually decide to punch him, he would be done for. He wasn't exactly weak but surely not as strong as someone like Tom Dougherty who spent most of his free time working out at the gym in some fashion. Oh … What had he done?

»I would advise you to walk away, Nygma.« Tom growled crossing his arms as if he was aware that this would only show off his muscles under his tight fitting t-shirt even more. It was October and he was running around in a V-neck T-Shirt! Clearly, this guy had no decency and _was_ probably indeed very aware of the effect his crossing his arms had. »It's none of your goddamn business how I speak to _my_ girlfriend.«

»You are hurting her.« Ed replied and tried to drown out the sound of blood rushing through his ears like a maelstrom. This was not a good idea. Inside his head, he was screaming. Oh, this was actually a terrible idea! Tom was usually only peaceful towards him because he was part of the swim team and because Ed used to be part of the swim team as well. That and, of course, Jim Gordon’s influence. Always Saint Jim’s good influence… »You need to stop that.«

»I’m not hurting her!« Tom defended himself with a small laugh as he raised both hands in mock surrender and turned to look over his shoulder back at Kristen. »Isn't that right, Kristen? I would never hurt you, right? Heck … Can you believe this guy?«

There was a second when Ed and Kristen’s eyes met over Dougherty’s shoulder and for a moment he was certain that Kristen would cave and tell him to fuck off and that Tom was right. But then, incredibly, he could practically see how she decided against it and narrowed her brows very much in the same fashion as an angry bull would lower his head before charging at a matador. There was this spark in her bright eyes that sent shivers down his spine and straight into his groin - although he would never allow any thought like this to truly manifest inside his mind.

»You know what« She hissed and took a step forward. It was enough to throw Tom off balance for a moment. »Fuck you, Tom! This is over, I don't want to see you ever again!«

Kristen’s words took the both of them completely by surprise. It wasn't so much the fact that she finally put her foot down and dumped Tom Dougherty once and for all, however, the circumstances were indeed a bit surprising, to say the least. It was an enigma to Ed what prompted her to do this now of all times she had already had the chance to do it. It was a riddle he could not possibly solve by himself. Was it Edward’s presence here that gave her the necessary strength for it? A part of him wanted to believe exactly that even though he knew that it was probably a bit egotistical of him to think like this. Why should Kristen feel empowered by his presence anyway?

»What?« Tom huffed with the voice of a man who desperately tried to keep in control of his emotions and the current situation. He would never allow himself to show his true anger in front of Ed in this situation. Rather he would like to appear cold and indifferent to this whole thing! »Are you serious?«

»I am dead serious!« Kristen frowned. »I am done with your bullshit, Tom! Go! Leave already!«

Tom did not protest any further as he would have expected him to. In fact, all Tom did was throw another nasty look at Edward before he just walked away, some rather colorful insult ripping from his lips as he did.

Of course, it only took a heartbeat for the awkward silence to settle in as Kristen and Ed ware alone now. Suddenly, it occurred to Ed that he had never talked to Kristen alone before. In fact, they had hardly ever been in the same room alone until now. His mouth felt awfully dry as he just stood there and stared at her before quickly averting his eyes to the ground beneath his feet instead.

»Are you … I mean … Did he hurt you?« He finally managed to ask after another few seconds had time to tick by. The darker part of his mind, the one that had taken over his mouth and body just moments before, had thankfully retreated back into his usual corner in the deepest part of his mind, content now that he had successfully helped Kristen.

»No.« Kristen sighed and brushed an unruly strand of her hair back behind her left ear. »I mean he did. But not right now. I have to admit my taste in men might be a bit lacking, huh? Sometimes I envy my sister.«

»Oh?«

He felt as if he lost the ground beneath his feet as Kristen looked at him now with those big brown eyes. »I mean … Isabella has it good. Having scored such a nice guy like you. I have to admit that I haven't seen the appeal before but … Well, the way you are treating Oswald Cobblepot for example … the effort you put into helping him … I stand corrected.« She smiled.

Was he imagining things or was she actually blushing? Surely, it was just his glasses and yet his heart danced a rumba inside his chest. Was Kristen telling him that she actually liked him? He shouldn't get too excited about that, he assumed. After all, he was still with her sister - officially. If he wanted Kristen to continue to like him, he should not do anything stupid right now. Surely, she would lose all respect for him if he would make a move while still being with her sister. He would be just one of those asshole-guys she had dated beforehand. The way forward now was to be a bit more like Oswald - sweet and caring.

»I feel flattered.« He replied after a moment and took a cautious step back so that it wouldn't look like as if he was crowding her. »Do you need … Do you want me to drive you home?«

»Oh, no!« Kristen quickly replied and waved her hands dismissively. »I have cheerleader practice in half an hour. I am okay, really, Ed.«

Ed nodded quickly as he took another step back at her words. »Oh … Okay. Well … I have to get going now. Take care, okay?« Although he wanted nothing else but to stay with her a bit longer and make sure that she was actually safe, Ed knew that it would be much better for him to give her some space and actually leave for the moment.

»Ed?« She called after him as Ed had already walked away a few steps and put his back to her. This, however, caused him to pause and look at her yet again. »Thank you.« She smiled as the sun was dancing in her ginger hair and made her eyes sparkle even more behind her glasses. »You are a good guy. I really mean it.«

※※※※※※※

He didn't know how to approach Fish. Usually, there was nothing scary about talking to her in any way. She was always kind and understanding towards him and yet, as he found himself sitting at the kitchen table with her, he just couldn't find the right words as it seemed. Fish held a cup of steaming hot coffee between her hands, her freshly manicured fingernails gently tapping against the ceramic as she waited for Oswald to speak. After all, it had been him who had asked her to sit down with him for a talk, right? Her face was calm as she looked at him and sunlight was pouring through the kitchen window behind her. The radio was softly playing jazz from the kitchen counter and it smelled like freshly baked bread and the onion soup that was simmering on the stove. Home. This was what it felt like and that only made it more difficult.

»You want to move in with your father.« It was not a question that was ripping him out of his idle thoughts and as he looked at her in surprise, Fish just chuckled at him and sat down her cup gently. »Oh, don't look at me like this, Sweetheart. I knew that it was only a matter of time now. You met your father, you met your family. Of course, you would want to live with them if given the chance.«

»Aren't you … mad?«

»I am sad.« Fish smiled and reached out to take his right hand that was lying on the tabletop in her own. He couldn't help but look down at their hands joined at the table now. He wondered what his life would have become in these past few months, had it not been Fish who had taken him in. He had been lucky to find such a loving foster mother and he knew this. Everything could have become much worse for him. He had heard the stories, he knew how awful it could be to be raised in the foster system.

»I won't lie. I am sad that my little bird is already leaving the nest again. You just arrived, after all. But I am glad that you got this second chance too. After all, the job of a mother is to make sure that her babies are safe and happy and if this makes you happy, I do not have any objections to it. You are not gone from the world either, right? You can still visit me and Butch everytime you like.«

Of course, she was right. He knew that he would always have the chance to meet her, to go visit this house and her. He knew that he would forever have a spot in her heart as all the other foster boys she had helped to raise. Yet, he could only pinch his lips into a tight line and blink away the burning sensation in his eyes. Fish was letting him go freely and without digging her manicured claws into him like his mother would have done. Maybe that was the biggest shock of it all. She was allowing him to fly, to find his own path. He never knew a mother could be like this.

※※※※※※※

Edward Nygma had never felt more uncomfortable as he did now sitting in the same booth he had occupied only a short while ago with Oswald in that same diner now with his girlfriend. One would argue that he should feel a lot more relaxed and at ease sitting here with Isabella instead of a new found friend and yet nothing could be farther from the truth. Isabella’s eyes were like bottomless pits as she looked at him now. There was no way of telling her emotion right away, no way of knowing what she was thinking or experiencing.

Of course, Ed had a little bit of an advantage knowing what he knew from Oswald. Isabella surely didn't know that Oswald had told him already and he needed all his acting skill to sell the lie to her later. Still, knowing what was coming didn't exactly make it better. Yet, in the back of his mind, he had Kristen Kringle’s smile to guide him through this and the knowledge that he could later call Oswald and tell him all about it. After what had happened today at school with Kristen and Tom … Well, what could go wrong now? He couldn't believe his luck! He couldn't believe that his plan had actually worked.

In a few minutes, he would be a free man again and Kristen seemed all too ready to take over for her sister now. And Oswald … it was only a matter of time now that Oswald would have Jim at his side. The thought should make him ecstatic and yet he felt some odd dull ache in the pit of his stomach as he tried to picture them on a double date; him and Kristen with Oswald and Jim. He didn't much like the thought of Jim’s hands on Oswald. Then again, he didn't much like Jim, to begin with.

It was the sound of Isabella clearing her throat that actually made him come back to reality now. The way she twirled a curl of her blonde hair around her left index finger spoke clearly enough of her current discomfort for the situation. She often mistook it as a flirty gesture and had used it a lot at the beginning of their relationship - however, Ed knew it better. It were these little tell-tale signals that spoke loud and clear of her discomfort with this relationship.

»Listen, Ed, I thought about something.« Supposedly, those were the words any normal guy would dread to hear from his girlfriend. Ed, on the other hand, could hardly wait for her to move on and get it over with. Still, he forced his face into a concerned expression.

»Oh? What about?«

»About us.« Isabella quickly continued as if she was afraid she would lose all courage of doing so if she wouldn't just continue right away. »I … You know I applied to go to Italy. I talked to you about it before the summer, right? Well, I was accepted.«

»Congratulations!« Ed smiled feigning his best impression of a supportive boyfriend. »That's awesome news, Bella!«

»It is, I know.« She mumbled and started stirring in her strawberry milkshake just to busy her fingers. She had not yet touched the milkshake at all and Ed had the feeling that this wouldn't change. He, on the other hand, had already taken a gulp from his coffee. »And yet I thought long and hard about it if I should go. I was afraid that … this would be the end of our relationship but then I realized that our relationship is a little rocky anyway, right?«

»Isabella-«

»It's not your fault, Ed. Really. We both have so much to think about and so much going on in our lives, right? I thought that a break would perhaps do us some good, right?« Wow. Two ’rights?’ in one statement. She really was nervous.

»A break?« He parroted back to her.

»I love you, Ed, you know that. But all we do is fight as of late.« She sighed and gave up stirring in her milkshake as she looked at him again more clearly now. »It has gotten so draining lately. I’m sure you know what I mean. And it's only a few months that I’m not here. I would be back before you graduate and leave for college.«

»I won't-«

»I guess … When I return and we still love each other and want to be together then it was meant to be. But we could need this break to sort everything out in peace. I mean, Ed, really, all we do is tearing each other apart lately. That's not healthy. I don't want to end up like my sister with her stupid boy-toys; always fighting and then bawling my eyes out because of it.« Briefly, he thought that not once had Isabella remarked on his feelings. Briefly, he thought that she was only talking about herself and how she was feeling. Selfish. Then again, he couldn't blame her. He was behaving quite selfish himself, after all. However, she didn't know this.

She didn't really listen to him or look at him as she was glancing around the diner, avoiding his eyes again. At least this way, he didn't really need to school his face into a hurt expression. »Maybe you are right.« Ed finally answered quietly and with his best impression of a man who was honestly hurt and saddened by what was happening. »I mean … I don't like it. And I would rather not have this break but I think you are right. There is so much going on. I have so much on my mind that I have to figure out and I can only do this on my own.«

Only then, Isabella actually looked at him again and seemed honestly surprised, perhaps even a little hurt, by his words. No … Not hurt. Affronted. She couldn't say anything, of course, after all, it was her idea and she had spent long enough now to explain her thoughts. It would look odd if she would now backtrack just because Ed was agreeing with her. Yet, he could tell by her expression how she wanted to do exactly that.

»So you say … We should do this?« Oh, she was trying to shift the blame on him now. Ed was not nearly naive enough not to realize that. It was the oldest trick in the book. If she would be able to shift the blame on him now, she would get out of this whole damn situation as the victim, after all. Not that this would be in any way new to him.

»It's probably for the best, yes.« Ed replied. »I mean, it pains me to say that and I could really use your support in dealing with everything but this break would do us good.«

She seemed angry all of the sudden the way her eyes narrowed at him. Her milkshake was long forgotten by this point and he could see how her cheeks started to gain a red tint. »You don't seem too bothered by all of this.« She hissed. »But then again I shouldn't be surprised, should I? After all, you have Oswald, right? You don't need my support when you have his!«

»We are friends, Isabella. I already told you that this jealousy of your’s is unfounded!« It didn't actually help that his phone started vibrating in this exact moment and thus claimed Isabella’s attention as it was shimmying over the table top. Ed always took his phone out of the back pocket of his pants and rested it on the table when he would sit down. Sure enough, the caller ID spelled out Oswald’s name. His friend had horrible timing.

With one last nasty look at his phone on the table as if she wanted to incinerate it, Isabella rose from her spot on the other side of the table in a heartbeat and Ed should probably be glad that Isabella still thought that it was Oswald she had to worry about and not her very own sister. Yet, it left a sour taste in his mouth, this thought that she believed him to be gay or in any kind of relationship of that nature with his best friend.

»Is it though, Ed?« There was this unmistakable tremble in her voice that clearly spoke of the pain she was in as Ed was not fighting more for their relationship and her. Clearly, she had been betting everything on Edward’s willingness to fight for her. Ed, however, stayed where he was as the phone stopped buzzing. A good boyfriend would try to console her now but if he would do that, she would not leave, she would stay in America and live in this fantasy of her and Ed being happy together. This was no longer just about him, getting what he wanted. Isabella deserved to be happy too and her happiness did not lie here with him. Would he allow her to indulge in this fantasy even longer than she already had, she would lose the chance of going to Europe before college and perhaps never do it.

He bit his tongue and squared his jaw at her words and chose not to say anything regarding her last words. He had said what he had to say, after all, and he didn't wish to make a scene now.

»I should have known.« Isabella said with a dry little chuckle that sounded a whole lot more like a broken little sob than Ed would be comfortable with. Ed, however, kept his eyes firmly fixed on the now empty seat in front of him. »I wish you all the best, Ed. And I hope that you finally realize what you want.«

He thought he would feel better when he would finally be a free man again. He had thought that he would feel reborn the moment Isabella and he would break up. However, as she left the diner and left him alone to his thoughts, he felt … bad. He actually felt bad for her. Isabella had truly loved him and he had played with her heart. Heck, he was no better than Tom Dougherty or anyone else. Getting what he wanted from Kristen now seemed almost like he was committing the worst atrocity in history. It would break Isabella’s heart as soon as she would learn that her sister had gotten in a relationship with her ex-boyfriend just shortly after they had broken up.

He needed Oswald's advice on what to do. This was the reason why Edward found himself in front of Fish Mooney's house that same evening once again. For a while he just stood leaned against his car in front of the house, his eyes fixed on the upstairs window - Oswald's room. He could see the light behind the curtain and as Oswald suddenly appeared in the window and looked down at him as if he had been able to sense Edward's presence out here, he breathed a sigh of relief, smiled and waved at his friend.

 

**-End of Chapter 12-**


	13. Chapter 13

He had just unpacked everything at Fish’s house and now his boxes had already found a new home once more. It was odd standing in his own room inside the van Dahl estate. The room itself was almost as big as the little apartment in downtown Gotham he had shared with his mother. He had his own en-suite bathroom, a set of huge windows overlooking the gardens and the greenhouse of the estate. The wallpapers were beige with golden highlights in the shape of the fleur de lis and rich in structure and fiber. This was no cheap paper wallpaper from the crafts store. The wooden floorboards were real wood and not that linoleum crap every normal person was forced to use these days and his bed was big enough so he could easily share it with at least one other person. He wondered if Ed would be allowed to stay over some time soon. He wouldn't even need a camp bed this time! He could take the chaise longue that was positioned right in front of the fireplace! Or he could share his bed with his best friend. There would be no problem with that, right? Girls did it all the time, right?

»How do you like your new room, Sweetheart?« Grace smiled as she put a hand on his shoulder and thus tore him from his idle thoughts. He hadn't even heard how she had been approaching him through his wide open door.

»It's wonderful.« He replied with a small smile. This time he would unpack his boxes right away. This time he would make a proper start in his new home. No excuses. »Thank you so much, Grace.« She pecked him on the cheek gently for this before she let go of him again and turned to leave the room.

»Why don't you come downstairs when you’re done? Dinner is almost ready.«

He nodded sharply but remained in his room for a little while longer. Maybe he was dreading walking downstairs a little bit. Downstairs not only his family waited for him but Fish and Butch as well. They had helped to move Oswald’s boxes and other belongings to his new home, after all. He knew that neither Fish nor Butch were gone from his life forever from now on but it certainly felt like it. He didn't want a long, heartfelt goodbye from Fish or Butch. He didn't want to see Fish hurt by Oswald leaving the nest too soon. Then again, Fish only wanted to see her babies happy, right? And he could always count on her when he would need her.

It would be unfair to leave her hanging like this now. So, instead of stalling for much longer, Oswald straightened his spine, grabbed his crutch harder and slowly made his way out of the room and down the hallway.

※※※※※※※

His move out of his foster home and into one of the biggest and oldest mansions in Gotham had not gone unnoticed. Neither had the fact that he had been dropped off by a chauffeur in an expensive Rolls Royce gone unnoticed by his peers. Of course, his arrival at school on Monday had turned a few heads. He couldn't quite deny that he liked the attention. This was a very odd development for Oswald too. Usually, he didn't much like it when attention was directed at him like this. Then again, usually the attention he got was not very positive for the most part.

This time, everything seemed very different. Maybe for once, everything had changed for the better. He was allowed a new start in this life with a new family. Still, the thought that this new beginning had cost the life of his beloved mother hurt in a weird way.

He wondered if he had ever met his father if his mother would not have died. He wanted desperately to believe that he would have met his family sooner or later. He wanted to believe that his mother would have told him the truth sooner or later. Maybe his mother would have told him the moment his grandmother had died and her payments would then have inevitably stopped. He didn't want to believe that his mother was greedy like this and yet, what reason would she have had to continue this horrible charade after his grandmother’s death? His mother always only wanted the best for him, after all. And how would his family have reacted to him then? Would they, meaning Grace and his siblings, had welcomed him with open arms had his mother not died? Or would Grace have worried that her husband might rekindle the old flame with Oswald’s mother?

Maybe it was unwise to ponder such things. He would never know anyway.

Oswald was already in the changing room of the school’s pool and changing into his swimming trunks. Ed wasn’t here yet but that was not extraordinary. Ed was probably still busy kissing a teacher’s ass - for whatever reason. He loved his best friend dearly, but Ed was a teacher’s pet, there was no denying of that. Although it was an enigma to Oswald what Ed hoped to achieve. He didn't need any favors, after all. Ed was smart enough and could achieve greatness all on his own accords. Surely, Ed would soon arrive for their date at the pool like he always did. Well, with the exception of last week, of course, but that had not been Edward’s fault, after all.

So, as he heard the door to the changing room open behind him, he didn't even bat a lash. »You are late!« Oz just called over his shoulder without even turning around.

»Well, well, look at that!« He froze even before he had time to turn around and look at the intruder. »If that's not our little _Lord_ Cobblepot.«

Jerome's grin was unnaturally wide as he stood and blocked the door. He was just glad that he was already wearing his trunks and was not standing here buck-naked. »What do you want, Jerome?« It cost him a lot more courage and effort to actually ask the question and not cower in fear of his former friend. However, Oswald was pretty certain that him not cowering in front of him immediately, only served to infuriate him. Jerome was, after all, a young man who quite enjoyed to inflict fear and terror in his victims. He thrived on making other people fear him.

»What do I want?« Jerome mocked, his grin never faltering as he walked closer. »I didn't know I needed an official appointment now to talk to my _seigneur_!« He offered a mock little curtsy and lifted his imaginary skirts. »But I guess you are a little special now, huh? I should have known that only this slimy Nygma guy is allowed to talk to you without appointment these days. Then again…« He was uncomfortably close now as he kept bridging the distance between them. »this Nygma guy is probably allowed to do quite a lot to you, huh?«

»Cut it out already!« Oswald growled only to realize that Jerome was certainly not going to stop so easily. He was his prey ever since the day he had made this awful mistake of lying to everyone about what had happened at the lake and now without Jim or Butch or even Ed around to protect him, Oswald was merely a small rabbit in a trap and Jerome Valeska was the wolf that was going to eat him alive.

»I guess you even allow him to fuck you against these lockers, huh?« Jerome grinned even wider, his eyes narrowing on him before he dragged his gaze down Oswald’s body as if to make a point out of it. No, not _as if_. He _was_ making a point out of it. This was a show. Just another one of Jerome’s little shows and yet it did not fail to unnerve him. »Is that how it works? Your special little therapy with Ed Nygma? Is he pushing you against these lockers and fucks you? Is he doing so before or after you went into the pool? Just asking for a friend.«  

It happened too fast for Oswald to fight back at first. Before he knew it, Jerome had shoved him against the lockers so harshly that it surely would leave bruises all over his back. His head hit so hard against the locker door that he could see stars for a moment.  

»Tell me how he does it.« Jerome snickered. His face was much too close to Oswald’s own now, his voice no longer that weird nasal yet high-pitched mockingly cheerful tune but rather barely above a whisper. Suddenly, Oswald knew exactly what Jerome was planning to do. All the old threats Jerome had once thrown at him came now crashing back down on him with new energy and vigor. He had disregarded them as just talk. Idle threats that not even someone as disturbed as Jerome would actually act upon. Yet, here they were and the look in Jerome’s brown eyes clearly told him that Jerome knew that Oswald knew. Dread and panic gripped his heart in a tight embrace as Jerome leaned forward to drag his tongue over his cheek. »Does he fuck you like a dog?« Jerome grinned. »You seem like the type of guy who would enjoy being fucked like an animal. I bet you squeal like a pig too! Well, let's find out, shall we?«

A part of him wanted to go into panic mode, to curl up on the ground and act as if none of this was happening. However, miraculously, the moment he felt Jerome's fingers slip under the waistband of his trunks, something inside him just snapped. In retrospect, he would not even be able to tell if he had thought at all about what he was doing.

He just knew that the way Jerome pressed against him, was playing right into his cards. He was standing between Jerome's legs and though it was a gamble, he thundered his left knee upwards and straight into Jerome’s groin.

Instinctively, he knew that he would regret this attack on Jerome. And yet, for this second as Jerome screamed out in pain and staggered back, Oswald had the upper hand. He used the moment as Jerome bend down and held his crotch to his advantage to attack once more. This time, his knee hit Jerome right in the chin before he shoved the taller boy to the ground and kicked him in the stomach. Forgotten was his awful balance for now. Forgotten was the fact that he could hardly keep himself upright on his right leg without his crutch as he used his entire body to build up enough momentum to kick him.

»Who’s laughing now you ginger snap?« He could hardly even recognize his own voice as adrenaline was rushing through his body and made him deaf and numb to the world around him. For once, it was not him who was lying on the ground in pain. For once, it was not him who was kicked when already down. And hell … It felt good. It felt ecstatic! The laugh that tore from his throat was not even his own.

»What the hell?« He hadn't heard how the door to the changing room had opened once more. It was not Edward who was barging into the room but, to his biggest surprise, none other than Butch Gilzean who’s sudden appearance made him stop his attack on Jerome. He was panting already and could only stagger backward to slump down on one of the benches as his right leg would no longer support him.

Jerome stayed on the ground and despite the blood running from his nose and mouth, he had the audacity to actually laugh. »See! I told you I would cure you!« The cackling laugh he produced was sure to haunt him in his dreams and yet, he felt good as he looked down on Jerome before Butch rushed over and forced Jerome back to his feet only to shove him out the door without much hesitation or even concern for the other boy.

»If you ever come close to Oswald again, you will wish to have never been born you fucking clown!« Butch thundered after Jerome. It was almost funny how Butch immediately jumped back into his usual role as the protective big brother - a role, Butch seemed so comfortable in any way. Of course, Butch whirled around immediately to rush to his side quickly. He looked like an elephant coming towards a small bird on the ground and for a second there, Oswald was certain that he would get stomped. That he was wearing a grey hoodie did not help. »Jesus Christ, Ozzie! What happened?«

»Jerome decided he wanted to fuck with me.« Oswald scoffed and though his little joke seemed not understood to its full extent by Butch, to him it was hilarious at the very least. It shouldn't be hilarious, he assumed. Had he not acted, had he not fought back … hell … he didn't want to think about it. He couldn't think about it. If he would, he would not be able to sleep this night. He would probably throw up if he would allow the truth to sink in.

»He chose the wrong guy to attack!« Butch beamed and clapped his shoulder. »You showed that asshole not to mess with you! I am proud of you, lil’ Birdie!«

»That's just … thanks to Jim.« He mumbled and now that the adrenalin was slowly wearing off, he felt how his knees were trembling even sitting down. The panic that had been dulled before by the adrenaline, came crashing down on him now. As if Butch was sensing this, he patted his back carefully.

»Maybe you should get dressed, you are freezing.« Butch offered quietly. »Where is Ed anyway? Wasn't he supposed to be here? I thought you guys were practicing at this time!« Butch was not fond of Edward and Oswald was acutely aware of that fact too. He accepted him as Oswald’s best friend but he gladly took the opportunity to bitch about Ed not being here right now.

And hell, Butch was right. If Ed had been here on time, this wouldn't have happened. Yet, Ed never ran late without a good reason! »I don't know.« He mumbled. »He’s probably-«

»Oswald!« Speak of the devil. Edward barged into the changing room with bright red cheeks and labored breath as if he had been running like the devil was on his tail. He had probably run into Jerome on his way down and he didn't even spare a glance at Butch now as he bridged the distance between them. In fact, Ed acted as if Butch wasn't even there, his only worry seemed to be Oswald and how he was feeling as he reached him and put his hand on both sides of his face to look at him more closely. »Are you alright? I saw Jerome leaving! I thought he … What happened?«

»He attacked him.« Butch growled. »But Oswald fought back, thankfully. Where were you? you were supposed to be here!«

»I was held back by something!« Ed panted with anger written all over his face that Butch actually possessed the audacity to question him like this. »I came as quickly as I could! What are _you_ doing here?«

»I saw Jerome follow Oswald down here and decided to check on what he was doing!« Butch sounded defensive - and rightfully so when taking into concern how Ed’s question had sounded more like an attack than anything else.

»Oh, how convenient!«

»What's that supposed to mean, Mate?«

»Well, now that Oswald suddenly has money you are doing quite a lot to get into his good graces, right?«

»Enough you guys!« Oswald huffed. »That's ridiculous, Ed and you know it. I appreciate your worries but I’m fine! Nothing happened. Everything is fine.«

»Nothing is fine, Oswald!« Leave it to Ed to read him like an open book. He knew that he couldn't lie to his best friend. He knew that Edward could see right through him. No, nothing was fine. Of course, nothing was fine. »Jerome came after you to attack you! What happens next time? What happens if you don't manage to fight him next time?« He knew that Edward’s worries were justified and those questions he posed were exactly the thing he did not wish to think about. Next time, Jerome would be prepared. Next time, he would not so easily manage to fight back. The thought scared him a whole lot more than he was willing to admit.

»I don't know.« He finally admitted with a deep sigh.

»You have to tell someone, Oz.« Butch then said despite the roll of his eyes.

»And then what? Do you really think that would change anything?«

»It could.« Ed mumbled. »If you would use your new family and its influence correctly.«

»What do you mean?«

»You could threaten the school to sue them because they allowed this kind of harassment and bullying to happen in the first place. Everyone in this school knows what has been happening to you ever since Jerome came back! Principal Barnes surely would not want to risk such a scandal. I’m sure your dad has the money to actually sue the school, right?« And just like this, Ed had planted a seed in his mind that he knew would grow into a tree in a matter of only days. Oswald had never had any kind of power before but Edward was right. He was not the old Oswald Cobblepot anymore, the little freak living with his weird mother in a tiny apartment. And he was no poor orphan anymore living in a foster family either. He had a family, he had a huge family tree to look back on, he had a legacy to protect, money to keep him safe, a support system of people that loved him. He could crush Jerome and his entire circus easily now. All it would take for him was to talk to his beloved father and tell him what Jerome was doing to him all the time.

What a weird thought to have.

What an incredible thought to have!

To nobody's surprise, they skipped their practice on this day and instead, Ed offered to drive him home. Sure, he was curious anyway and couldn't wait to see Oswald’s new home and Oswald couldn't wait to show him everything. Butch had been a little more hesitant to let Oswald go like this and yet, Oswald had ended up in Edward’s green Beetle anyway - one of the few places where he felt safe in this city.

»I'm sorry that I didn't make it on time, Oswald.« Edward didn't take his eyes from the road and Oswald was quite thankful for that too as it had begun to rain quite badly again. Typical Gotham weather, after all. He had always found rain and thunderstorms quite calming. However, ever since the accident, he felt uneasy sitting in a car during such a downpour.

»It wasn't your fault.« Oswald shrugged. »You couldn't have known.«

»Still. I should have been there.« Ed sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose shortly. »It's just … Isabella wanted to talk to me again and kept me from being on time.«

»What did she want?« It seemed easier now to focus his mind on other things than what Jerome might have done to him if he had not been able to fight back against him.

Ed and Isabella had broken up just last week after Oswald had convinced Isabella on that same day that it would be the right thing to do. Ever since that evening, Ed seemed a lot calmer and relaxed. He seemed much less haunted by whatever Isabella caused him to think or feel. A part of him, however, wished he would talk less about Kristen in the time they now had without Isabella's interferences.

Despite their break up, Oswald knew that Isabella was still not quite over and done with Edward. It wouldn't have been the first time since last week that Isabella would catch Edward somewhere to talk to him again and Ed was just much too nice to tell her to fuck off.

»She wanted to talk to me about the break up again … Wanted to know if I was still sure that they shouldn't try it again … work on our relationship and that he was still in love with me.« The sigh escaping from Ed’s throat felt like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. The only comfort Oswald could offer him in this situation was putting his left hand on Edward’s right shoulder for a moment.

»Anyway, I told her that I was sure that I didn't wish to try it again before she comes back from Europe, not after all the nasty things she said about me or you or us.« Only for a second, Edward took his eyes from the serpentine road ahead to glance at Oswald before he quickly turned his full attention back to the road.

»Try not to think about her anymore. She’ll be gone soon and then you will be free for Kristen. Apropos Kristen! Have you decided yet what to wear to Jim’s Halloween party? Kristen will be there too, I suppose.«

It was the first time he had ever been invited to a Halloween party by someone from his school. However, Jim had gone to him by the end of last week with two invitations for him and Edward to join his annual Halloween party at his parents' house. Of course, it had come as a shock to both him and Edward that Jim would want them there. Not only Oswald either! He wanted them both there and thus he was making a statement towards all those other jocks that would be there. Edward and Oswald were his friends and he wasn't ashamed of calling them his friends.

Wow.

A part of him still couldn't quite believe it.

»A Halloween party…« Ed chuckled. »Can you believe that? We at the cool kids’ party?«

»I know right?« Oswald snorted.

»But no I haven’t decided yet. I still have at least two weeks to decide, right?« Maybe Oswald was a little too enthusiastic. Still, who could blame him? Jim Gordon wanted him to be at his party, after all. He had any right to be enthusiastic. »What are you going as?«

»Oh, I’m not telling you!« Oswald grinned. »I bought my costume last week with Fish. This is my first real Halloween party after all! Everything needs to be perfect.«

»Really?« Ed smirked before he shook his head with a small chuckle. »You know what? Mine too. I was never invited - not even when I was still part of the swim team. I would honestly claim that Jim only invited me because of you. Maybe he thought you wouldn't come when I wouldn't be invited as well - and apparently, he really wanted you to come.«

»What do you mean?«

»Well, I'm just saying that things are looking up for us … Who knows? Maybe Jim plans on seducing you on that party?« His entire head was aflame at Ed’s words. Even Fish had teased him about this possibility last week. She had had a field day as they had been out shopping for costumes after Butch had told her about Jim's party and how Jim had insisted that Oswald would come. They both seemed to be of the opinion that Jim might try to get closer to Oswald during that party, maybe even confess his feelings towards him. Oswald, on the other hand, was certain that Jim was only trying to be nice.

Then again, his heart sure beat a lot faster at Ed’s words now. What if they were all right? What if Jim would take him into a quiet corner during that party and lean in to kiss him? What if this was exactly what was going to happen there? How would he be able to deal with that situation? What would he do? What would he say? He had never kissed anyone ever before! Oh, God! He would be lousy!

»You really think that?« The question came out much more flustered and uncertain as he had intended it to be.

»Sure, why not? Jim has taken a shine to you lately and when he hears how you handled Jerome today … He’s gonna be so proud of you. Hell, _I_ am so proud of you, Oswald.«

»That wasn't … It's … It wasn't a big deal.« He heard himself stutter at the sincerity of Edward’s voice. Ed had just such a way with words! He knew what to say to throw him off balance completely at times.

»Yes, it was, Ozzie.« Ed smiled. »You faced your demons today head on and you didn't shrink away. You fought back against him and you showed him who was in charge. That's huge. That's more than I ever did with my dad, you know?«

»Do you really think so?«

»Of course.« Ed smiled. »And you should be proud of yourself too.«

※※※※※※※

It was already late and dark outside, as Oswald found himself sitting in one of the comfortable armchairs inside the red parlor in front of the crackling fire. He was joined by his father, sitting on the other side of the antic chessboard on the small side table between them. Dinner had been two hours ago and the other members of the household had already retreated to their rooms.

»It seems you had a bad day, my Boy.« His father chimed up with this calm soft voice of his. It was hard not to feel at home when talking to his father. Still, he didn't know if he would ever truly feel at home in this house. Then again, it had only been two days now, right?

He missed Fish and Butch, though. He missed having dinner with them, the radio playing jazz softly in the background, the loud chatting between the three of them. Here everything was a lot more formal. It reminded him a little of his time with his mother. After all, his mother had always insisted on having a proper dinner each and every day too and would have never let him sit down at the table had he not been dressed appropriately.

»Maybe a little.« Oswald sighed as he placed his rook on the board. »I had an … altercation with a former friend of mine.«

»Is that so?« His father asked with only the hint of a smile on his face. »Tell me about it, Son. I’m all ears.«

It wasn't as if he wouldn't trust his father. He was just a little hesitant. That was all. He loved his father dearly, as he loved the rest of his new family but he was only living here for the second day and he didn't know how much he could actually tell his father or how much he could actually reveal about himself. Until he had moved in with the van Dahls, he had never really thought about it. The people in his life had never needed an explanation and everyone he held dear had seemingly just accepted him as he was. Neither Fish nor Butch had cared about the fact that he was gay. His mother had never really addressed it.

The van Dahls, however, were very conservative in many ways, beginning by the house they were living in that was stuck in the last century. Would he be able to be honest about who he truly was towards them?

»Well … Jerome Valeska and I were friends a long time ago. However, I messed it up with a lie and ever since then he absolutely hates my guts and enjoys tormenting me whenever he comes back to Gotham.« He explained as tight-lipped as he could. After all, he didn't wish that his father would feel cut out from Oswald’s life or his innermost thoughts and feelings. If they wanted to build a relationship, honesty was the best way of achieving just that. »He is part of the circus that comes to town every year … So, at least he isn't constantly around. Still … he can be quite creative with the ways how he wants to take out his anger on me.«

»And today was the day he felt especially creative, I take it?«

»Yes.« Oswald huffed and forced a mirthless smile. »He cornered me - but I fought back. My good friend, James, taught me how to and so I did.«

»Oh my … A gentleman should not fight.«

»I know. But it felt good.« He replied with a small timid smile that he threw at his father. He could only hope that his father was softened by that as he seemed honestly abhorred by the idea of his son getting his hands dirty as he had been fighting against his foe. His father regarded him with a concerned expression but his eyes remained soft and full of love before he made his next move on the chessboard which led to Oswald losing one of his bishops.

»I am not a fan of my son fighting thugs in school.« He replied thoughtfully. »In fact, I am not a fan of the idea that my son feels the need to do something like this because he is being bullied by a thug in school.«

»It's not that bad, Father. I promise I’m alright.« Oswald replied quickly. »In fact, usually my friends are around to help me. Butch, for example, he usually protects me and Ed too, of course.«

»Ah, yes. Edward. A nice young man, I am really glad that you can call him your friend.« He smiled. Of course, after driving him home, Oswald had taken the opportunity to show Ed around and have him stay for dinner. »Still, it should not be like this, Oswald. Which only leads me to another topic I wanted to discuss with you anyway.«

»Oh? What about?« He tried to not sound nervous but he was certain that he didn't actually succeed in that.

»It's about your school, actually.« His father replied with a friendly smile. »You see, your siblings visit a private school in the better part of town and I hoped you would decide to do the same thing.«

Changing schools? He hadn't thought about it until now, actually. The thought had just not even occurred to him! Of course, he knew that his siblings went to the private school to which all the kids of the high society in Gotham went - except for Tabitha Galavan, of course. Still, he hadn't even thought about it.

»You don't need to decide right now, of course. I wouldn't want you to change schools before next year anyway. I thought you could switch schools after the holidays. We would have ample time to get you acquainted with everything then and buy the uniform for you.«

A uniform. He had always liked the thought of wearing a school uniform - even as a child and he had been quite disappointed when he had realized that wearing school uniforms was not the standard in this country. He liked the thought of it. Still, he wouldn't be able to see Edward and Jim every day then - not to mention Butch.

He would miss all of them. Desperately so.

»I have to say, though, your stepmother expects you to switch schools. Every van Dahl went to this school. Me too and my father before me. She is already oh so excited to go shopping for your new school with you.« His father smiled and there was again so much pride in his bright eyes, that Oswald suddenly didn't even know anymore what to think or feel about it. He could not possibly let him down, could he? Every van Dahl went to that school, after all. It was part of their many family traditions. »And I think … well, you are a van Dahl, after all, right? I would really appreciate it more would my son go to a proper school with people befitting your class.«

A part of him wanted to protest. Never mind that Edward was from a poor family. He didn't care much about that. He and his mother had been leading a simple life with not much money too. Yet, there was also this little voice in the back of his head chiming up once more. His mother had always said that he was special, that he was meant for greatness. Maybe she had been right.

 

**-End of Chapter 13-**


	14. Chapter 14

Jeremiah Valeska was, in direct comparison to his twin brother, a rather unremarkable character. He only served to impress through his sharp mind and genius-level intellect. Other than this, he was quiet and rather timid and thus the sole opposite of his brother. The fact that he kept to himself for the most part, only served to keep people in the dark about his personality. Honestly, it was hard to acknowledge his existence even for the most part. Sure, he was hovering usually somewhere in the background and only managed to gain attention during class when he would show off his intelligence. Other than this, he was living in the giant shadow his twin usually cast wherever he went. Jeremiah, very much unlike Jerome, was not a showman and he didn't quite seem to fit in the circus environment either. He never had.

All of this was not really new to Oswald. After all, he had been friends with Jerome back in the day and even then Jeremiah had kept to himself for the most part. In fact, Oswald, looking back on everything, could not recall that he had ever talked to Jeremiah in the past. Unusually for twins, the Valeska twins had never been close. Jeremiah seemed to prefer to stay away from Jerome as much as possible even during their childhood, which might be odd to some people but quite telling to people who actually knew Jerome.

Jerome had always been a troublemaker and though much tamer during his younger years, Jeremiah was very much not that. Oswald could recall Jerome bitching about his younger twin occasionally and how much their mother was doting on him while she only seemed to hold contempt for Jerome. Their mother had usually only paid any attention to Jerome to criticize or punish him. However, as far as Oswald could tell, none of this was truly Jeremiah’s fault. Jeremiah was not the kind of guy who liked the spotlight or the attention and he never even seemed to enjoy his mother’s treatment of him. Both Valeska boys seemed not very fond of their mother, even back in the day which had been an enigma to Oswald. To him, his mother had been his entire world, after all, even though he now knew how unhealthy their relationship had been.

So, keeping all of this in mind, it was quite the surprise, that Jeremiah Valeska actually approached him on that Friday. The incident with Jerome Valeska had been on Monday and the news that it had been Oswald Cobblepot who had beaten him up like this, had quickly spread through the school - thanks to Butch, of course. It had been actually quite satisfying to see Jerome turn up at school with a black eye and bruises all over his face the next day. Of course, he did not believe that Jeremiah wanted to take revenge for his brother or criticize him in any way for fighting back against him.

Jeremiah came to him as Oswald left his French class on this Friday. He seemed uncertain as he adjusted his glasses nervously at Oswald’s sight. He was not very fond of eye-contact and so it was no surprise that he tried to avoid meeting Oswald’s eyes now too. »Hey … Oswald? Could I borrow a moment of your time?«

Naturally, Oswald was surprised to be approached like this by Jeremiah after all this time. »Yes, sure!« He quickly replied swallowing his surprise before maneuvering himself out of the open door of his classroom and towards a more quiet corner of the hallway. »What can I help you with?«

»Oh« Jeremiah sputtered clearly taken by surprise by Oswald’s openness towards him. Perhaps he had been afraid that Oswald would disregard him with distrust because he was Jerome’s twin. »I … It's nothing, really. I just wanted to apologize for my brother’s behavior as of late - which sadly culminated in his attack on you on Monday.«

He was quite taken aback by this and didn't know how to react at first. There was even a second in which Oswald was sure that Jerome had dressed up as his brother and was trying to fool him with this charade. Then again, why would he? Other than this, Jeremiah’s entire demeanor was inherently different from that of his brother. And though Jerome was a showman - an actor he was not.

»Why, thank you.« Oswald mumbled. »I appreciate that … But it's not your fault what your brother did.«

»No, it wasn't and I know that.« Jeremiah sighed and dropped his gaze for a moment before slumping his shoulders. »But I still feel responsible for what he does - all the time. He is my brother, after all. My _twin_ brother. His bad rep usually comes back around to bite me in the ass as well, you know?«

»I can imagine, yes.« Oswald offered with a small smile. »Must be hard to have a brother like him.«

»I’ve gotten used to it.« Jeremiah shrugged. »It's just that I feel so sorry about all of this. You guys were friends, after all.«

»Until I messed up, yes.« Oswald frowned but Jeremiah repaid him with a small chuckle.

»He would have gone down this road one way or the other. He would have messed up some way or the other and our mother was always eager to punish him - or get rid of him.« He offered with a small smile. Their mother, as far as Oswald could remember, had been a witch. A true, wicked witch. He remembered her calling after Jerome in a high-pitched screeching voice and he remembered the things Jerome had told him about her. Apparently, Miss Valeska, had been unable to keep her legs closed and didn't even know who the father to her twin boys was. All of this had only added to his mother’s disliking of the family.

»Still, I was his friend and I betrayed him.« He shrugged. »I wouldn't have thought that he would be so cruel to me, though. I would have apologized after he came back but he didn't even give me a chance to do so.« And maybe he had not deserved one either.

»He is just bitter because he actually liked you more than a friend, you know?« Surely, his ears were failing him. There was no other explanation for it than that. Jeremiah Valeska could not honestly have told him just now that his twin brother Jerome had liked him more than just a friend back when they had still been so close during middle school. It was just not possible. »And I think he still does. However, my brother only knows one way to deal with his feelings and that's violence and cruelty. Being jealous of your friend Edward does not make it any better, I would assume.«

»He’s jealous of Ed?« He parroted back to the younger twin dumbfounded. »Why?«

»Oh, not just of Ed.« Jeremiah shrugged. »Jim Gordon too. Actually, everyone who is around you more than just a few minutes. Jerome is … You know Jerome.« He sighed. »He is not very good in dealing with his feelings and I can only assume all of this too. It's not like I would have talked to him about it. I think he doesn't know how to deal with the fact that he might be gay or bisexual or whatever. Stuff like this … Well, circus folks are not very open and liberal, you know? He doesn't know how to deal with the fact that he likes you still - so he lashes out. He has not learned it any other way, I guess.«

»Why are you telling me all of this?« _A trap, perhaps_ , his mind was screeching at him. He needed to be careful. Then again, what would Jeremiah gain from tricking him?

»Oh, I’m not trying to throw my brother under the bus here.« Jeremiah quickly explained and took a step back now before meeting Oswald’s eyes for just a second as if to convey the honesty of his words. »I’m just saying this to warn you. After all, you know how he can be. Fighting back against him the other day was a good step forward but I want you to be careful, okay? My brother is a narcissistic, jealous piece of shit and he would much rather destroy you than seeing you happy in any way.«

※※※※※※※

A mummy. He should have probably known that Edward Nygma would dress up as a mummy for Halloween.

»I’m not a mummy!« He argued as they were driving down the country road and into the hustle and bustle of the city. Of course, his best friend had picked him up at the mansion and not without his father taking a ton of pictures of the both of them first. »I am dressed up as King Tutankhamun - clearly.« As Oswald snorted, Ed turned his attention from the road ahead at him for a second or two. »It's not my fault that you have troubles with your historical figures, dear friend. And what are you trying to be anyway? A skeleton? Not very creative right?«

»Maybe you should watch more movies, dearest Edward.« Oswald huffed. »I am Jack Skellington!«

»Oh, now we are making stuff up, huh?«

»Hey, it's not my fault that you have troubles with your Tim Burton characters!« He laughed. It was the first time that he was actually joining a party. Hell, it was the first time that he had ever been invited to a party. At first, he didn't want to go but, after all, it was Jim’s party, right? He had always liked Halloween. As a child he had dressed up every year and went trick or treating in the neighborhood, his mother always just a few feet behind him to keep a careful eye on him. Later then, after he had grown out of this tradition he had stopped dressing up altogether. After all, there had been no parties for him and the other kids had made fun of his costumes. He had just stopped bothering.

»Nervous?« Edward grinned as they shared another glance in the dim light of the car while the radio was softly playing _spooky_ rock songs in the background. As they drove through town, he could already see the first children running around in their costumes with their little pumpkin-shaped buckets already half filled with candy. To be a child again!

»Is it this obvious?« He huffed.

»To me it is.« That was because he couldn't hide anything from Edward as it seemed. Weird how Edward always seemed to know exactly what was going on inside his mind. »I feel like tonight is the night.«

»What do you mean?«

»Well, Jim invited you, he specifically wanted to have you there, right? I’m sure tonight he will make a move on you.« His ears were burning. Good thing they too were covered in makeup. This was the one good thing about his costume. He would be able to go around and even talk to Jim without everyone knowing how he felt right away.

»You think so?«

»Sure! And maybe … Well, Kristen will be there too. I think tonight might be the night when we both get what we want!«

He wanted to believe that Ed might be right. He wanted to believe that, tomorrow, they would both have what they had wanted at the beginning of their unlikely alliance. Jim would be his boyfriend and Kristen would be Ed’s girlfriend. They would be happy and go on double dates together. However, as he tried to picture Kristen on Ed’s arm, he didn't like it. Neither did he like the idea of spending less time with Edward because Ed would have a girlfriend - or because he would have a boyfriend.

They arrived at the party half an hour after it had started and the party was already in full swing. Ed found a parking spot on the other side of the street and only after they had gotten out of the car, Oswald felt his knees go weak at last. Suddenly, he didn't know if he had the strength to go in there. Suddenly, he didn't know if he had enough courage to do so. However, it was once again Edward who gave him the courage he needed.

»Ready?« Edward’s smile often was like a bright light in a stormy night. He had no other choice but to nod as he quickly fixed one of Ed’s bandages that had fallen off his left shoulder before he straightened his back. »Who decorated your crutch, by the way?« Edward chuckled as they walked across the street towards the busy house. There were a few kids on the front lawn, drinking from styrofoam cups that clearly held no alcohol. This was Jim Gordon’s party, after all. The safest place any of them could be at during this night and probably the reason as to why his party was so well visited. Parents trusted Jim and gladly allowed their kids to go to his house for Halloween.

»Sasha.« Oswald replied with a grin. »She thought my crutch should have a costume too.« She had actually wrapped his crutch in bandages and taped a few bats to it for some reason. His sister had appeared too excited for him to actually stop her from doing so.

»She did a good job.« Ed grinned in response. »Your crutch fits my costume.«

»Oswald!« A voice erupted from the crowd almost the second that they entered Jim Gordon's house. »Edward! You actually came!« There was no mockery in Jim’s voice as he crossed the distance from the living room door and into the hallway. Needless to say, it was the first time either one of them had been to Jim’s house. The more pressing matter, however, was Jim’s costume as he approached them with the widest smile he could muster - like a kid on Christmas, perhaps. He was dressed as a police officer - a sexy police officer, to be more precise, with black shorts and a shirt at least two sizes too small. As he came closer, his eyes sparkled with excitement despite the fact that he looked like a stripper. It was this exact smile which he granted them, that made Oswald’s stomach do a somersault and his knees feel like pudding. »Cool costumes you guys! Jack Skellington and a mummy, huh?«

»Actually, I’m King Tut.«

»Give it up, Nygma.« Oswald huffed, though he was secretly relieved that at least Jim recognized his costume. »You are a mummy and everyone can see that.«

Jim actually laughed about his little joke and put his hand on Oswald’s shoulder. He was ready to faint or to melt into a disgusting puddle of make-up and flesh on the ground. »Come on guys, help yourself to the punch and have some fun! I’ll show you around.« And just like this, Jim led them to the kitchen - which currently served as the bar. Jim had clearly outdone himself. A dark red fruit punch in a huge crystal bowl was placed on the round kitchen table where the family probably had breakfast usually and all around the kitchen counters Jim had set up the buffet. There were all kinds of food and almost he regretted to having eaten dinner at home. Ed, on the other hand, made a beeline for the pizza.

»I like your costume.« Oswald commented with a smirk and feeling especially brave as Jim poured a generous amount of punch into a cup and handed it to him. He pulled a small grimace at Oswald’s words and almost he was certain that he had said something wrong, but then Jim just huffed a laugh.

»It's awful, I know! I wanted to dress up as a cop - like every year. I know, I know: Boring! Yes. But I lost a bet with the boys and so they picked out my costume. I should have known they would come up with something like this.«

»I think there are worse costumes than this.« Oswald smirked. »You have the legs to pull it off.«

»Why thank you!« Jim laughed and even struck a pose for Oswald that almost made him spill his drink. Well, there were the images he needed for the next lonely nights, huh? Good thing the walls in the mansion were so thick. He would put the memories of tonight and of Jim in this costume to good use later for certain. »Anyway, I am really glad you came, Oz. And Ed too, of course! I was concerned that you wouldn't want to come.«

»Why wouldn't I?« His heart was beating like a steam hammer in his chest. Surely, Jim was able to hear it go off in his chest. Jim was actually really happy that he was here! Maybe Edward was right! Maybe tonight was the night for them both. And hell he’d be damned if he wouldn't give it his all! He made sure to smile his brightest smiles and flutter his eyelids the way he had observed the girls around Jim would do it.

»Oh« Jim scratched the back of his neck and his smile grew increasingly more flustered by the second. Apparently, fluttering his lashes was indeed working. »I just thought … Well, I wouldn't have blamed you wouldn't you have wanted to come. After all, I know that you have not always been treated well in our school and I am not proud to say that I have never really done anything about that.«

»It's not your fault.« Oswald immediately replied and clasped Jim’s bicep with a warm and encouraging smile of his own. He had read somewhere that physical contact was key when talking to someone you like. Touching Jim was still alien to him, despite their training sessions. His bicep was firm under Oswald’s gloved fingers. »And it's not your responsibility how others are treated at the school either.«

»Still, I feel like it is.« Jim huffed.

»That's because you are such a good guy, Jim. You want to help everyone around you. And you helped me quite a bit. I mean … without your help … I wouldn't have been able to defend myself from Jerome.« Despite the fact that the attack had happened almost two weeks ago, the memory still clung to him and held his heart in a tight grip. At nights, he sometimes saw what could have happened, had he not been able to defend himself.

»I heard what happened.« Suddenly, Jim's smile faltered and changed into a concerned expression instead as he brushed his hand over Oswald upper arm. »I am so proud of you for fighting back against him. I hope he didn't do anything bad to you. I mean … this guy, really! I don't understand why he is still allowed to visit our school!«

»The circus will leave by the end of November anyway.« Oswald replied with a small smile. »But no, he didn't hurt me - not really. I think he was rather surprised that I actually fought back this time. You should have seen his face!« He laughed quietly and managed to make Jim laugh as well before he drove a hand through his dark blonde hair. God, he loved this hair! He was wearing it combed to one side again and very much looked like a film star from the golden age of cinema.

»You are very brave, Oz.« Jim smiled. »I am proud to call you my friend.«

※※※※※※※

He had lost Oswald to Jim pretty much immediately after they had entered the kitchen. Well, no, that was not true. In fact, Ed had decided to leave Oswald with Jim as he had seen how they had talked. Not to mention those puppy eyes his best friend had thrown at Jim Gordon so shamelessly without giving Jim even the slightest bit of chance to defend himself. Now, after seeing this, he was certain that Oswald would end up with a brand new boyfriend tonight. They were so close to their goal. It felt odd and he couldn't quite wrap his head around it yet.

He wasn't alone for long though, after he had lost sight of his best friend and Jim, and devoured a slice of pizza. »Edward!« He would know this voice under a thousand! So, as he turned around to face Kristen, he did so with the biggest smile he could muster. And oh, wasn't she a sight to behold? Unlike all the other girls in their sexy nurse or sexy this and sexy that costumes, Kristen Kringle had put actual effort into her costume. Before him stood Kleopatra in all her glory. »I’m so glad you came!« She beamed at him and was quick to cross the distance between them. »I like your costume! Pharaoh Tutankhamun, right?«

»Y-Yes!« Ed replied quickly and with surprise written all over his partly bandaged face. »You are the first to get it!«

She blushed under her excessive makeup. »Well … I am a history nerd, after all. I know my pharaohs.«

»Clearly.« Ed smirked his response and it didn't take Kristen much more to take his arm before he could even offer it.

»So, since we’re both royalty« She began with a sly little smirk of herself. »I believe you owe me a dance!«

Usually, he would protest because he really was not much of a dancer under any circumstances but this was his big chance, right? He could not possibly let this chance go to waste! So, he ended up on the dancefloor in Jim’s living room and actually had fun with Kristen amongst the other party goers. It seemed easy to humor himself when he messed up and yet he felt a little on edge all the time - and not so much because of the other people around. It was probably normal to be a bit more on edge when spending time with someone you are romantically interested in, he was quick to tell himself over and over again. After all, he didn't want the progress he had made with Kristen to be ruined by doing something silly that might throw her off. Not now, not after she actually seemed to like him!

Around nine o’clock the party was at it's all-time high and Edward found himself outside on the back porch with Kristen. The last time he had seen Oswald was when Jim had bribed him into bobbing for apples - which his extensive make-up miraculously survived. He had seemed to enjoy himself quite a bit with Jim. Perhaps even more so as he would have if he would have spent his evening with Edward. This thought saddened him a lot more than it had any right to. They had come to the party together, after all, and Edward had been looking forward to spending some time with his best friend. Jim, on the other hand, probably didn't even know how lucky he was.

»So my sister leaves in two weeks, huh?« Kristen suddenly changed the topic they had been discussing. Well, this was a party and she was probably not very interested in talking about archeological funds all night long. There was a sparkle in her eyes that he couldn't quite explain as she looked at him now. A part of him thought that it was Schadenfreude about her sister’s misfortune - but certainly, Kristen, unlike Isabella, was not such a mean-spirited person. It would be more like Isabella to gloat when something happened to her sister. However, maybe he had placed Kristen on a pedestal before tonight and maybe she was much more similar to her sister than he had ever thought possible.

Ed wanted to curse himself for these thoughts. After all, he had gone through to reach this point his own brain was trying to sabotage himself again! It was beyond unpleasant.

»Yeah … I guess she is.« Ed sighed and leaned his back against the banister.

»I'm glad.« Kristen huffed. »Maybe a little time apart will do us some good as sisters too. Anyway, I was glad to hear that you guys broke up.«

»Really? And why is that?« His heart actually jumped at that.

»Well, I just thought that you seemed unhappy with her. I thought that you deserve someone who actually cares about you. My sister only cares about herself - believe me, I should know, right?« Kristen let out a small chuckle just as Ed’s heart began picking up the pace a little. From his position, he could look straight into the living room through the big porch windows. Jim was more or less manhandling Oswald across the dancefloor in some weird chicken dance - at least that was what it looked like. At least Oswald seemed to enjoy it the way his blue eyes sparkled. »Gee, you won’t believe the fuss she made after she learned that you decided against going to college. I mean, what right did she have to throw a bitch fit like this? Sure, our parents expect us to follow in their footsteps and marry successful people … Still, if you don't want to go to college and rather follow in your father's footsteps … Who is she to judge? If she would have really loved you, she wouldn't have cared so much.«

The moment Kristen’s hand landed on his bicep he realized that he hadn't even listened to what she had been saying. His eyes had been somewhat glued to the window as he had been watching how much fun Oswald seemed to have. Everything was looking pretty good for his best friend these days. He had found his true family, he was rich as hell and Jim Gordon would probably make a move on Oswald tonight - if his friend would not do so himself.

»You know, when you and Isabella got together, I was a little surprised.«

»You were?« He quickly cleared his throat and tore his eyes from the window to look at her again. Somehow she had come even closer to him without him even noticing it. »Why so?«

»Well … I mean, we know each other for a while now, right? We went to the same middle school, after all. And I … Well, I always thought that you had a thing for me. So … When you and my sister started dating I felt stupid for ever believing that _the_ Edward Nygma could be into me.« She actually seemed a bit flustered the way she was batting her lashes at him now. Without her glasses, her eyes seemed to sparkle even more.

» _The_ Edward Nygma?« Ed found himself chuckling. »I am really nothing special, Kristen.« Even though he felt like it when Oswald would sometimes look up at him out of those big blue eyes of his as if he had hung the moon and the stars in the night sky. Still, now was the time to be brave, he assumed. »But to be honest … I did have a crush on you.«

»Did?«

»Well … Maybe I still do.« He smirked. Apparently, this was all it took for Kristen in the end to make a move on him. Needless to say, he hadn't expected her to actually do anything and almost feared that he would be the one in need of doing the first step forward. But then Kristen just offered him her brightest smile before she leaned up and conquered his lips with her own in an instant.

Ed had dreamed of this moment for a while now. He had tried to imagine all the different ways this could go. He had tried to imagine all the different ways he would grab her and press her against a wall or hoist her onto a table in an empty classroom, how she would stand on her tiptoes to reach him or how she would wrap her arms around his neck. He had imagined the tingle running down his spine when she would do so, had imagined his heart pretty much imploding in his chest.

This kiss was nothing like he imagined it to be.

There was no tingle running down his spine. His heart was not imploding in his chest. He did not feel as if he lost the ground beneath his feet. His knees were not going weak. He felt … indifferent. And that thought surprised and scared him more than he would have anticipated. Kissing Kristen evoked the exact same reaction as kissing Isabella. There was nothing at all.

As he pulled away, at last, he didn't know what to say or do. He didn't know what to think or even feel. This was everything he had wanted ever since he had first seen Kristen and now that he had it … He realized that he didn't want it anymore. Was this just his own brain sabotaging his life once again or was it his heart losing interest in Kristen? He was confused more than anything and could not even get a response out to Kristen as she asked:

»Is everything okay, Ed?«

Instead, he just took a step back and nervously emptied his cup of punch. »Y-Yes… I’m fine… I … I just need a minute. I need … I have to find Oswald.«

Of course, he was aware that he looked very much as if he was fleeing the scene as he left Kristen standing out there on the porch just like this to rush back inside the house.  Hell, he couldn't even tell where this thought that he needed to find Oswald came from, to begin with. He blamed it on Oswald being his best friend and the fact that Oswald would want to hear about this latest development. He blamed it on needing Oswald's advice on this matter. He blamed it on his own confusion and that he needed Oswald to sort out what he was feeling right now. If he could just find Oswald and tell him everything, Oswald would be able to set his head straight again and make him go back to Kristen. Surely, Oswald knew what was wrong with him.

After hurrying into the living room at first, he found Oswald, to his surprise, outside on the front porch - alone for once.

»Ed!« His friend beamed up at him as he noticed Edward’s arrival. By now the crowd of party goers had already started to disperse a bit as many of them still had a curfew for their return to their homes. Oswald too was expected to be home at eleven. He was only sixteen, after all, and Gotham a dangerous city. »I was wondering where you have vanished to! I saw you dance with Kristen, how did it-«

There was no telling what coerced Edward into doing what he did next. There was no explanation even in his own mind what was wrong with him tonight as he suddenly had his fingers curl into the collar of Oswald’s black pinstriped suit as he pulled him towards him and crashed Oswald’s mouth with his own. The moment he felt Oswald’s lips against his own, his shuddering breath against his mouth, his nose pressing into his cheek, suddenly all seemed to make sense and confused him to no end at the same time.

In some weird way, kissing Oswald just seemed right, just seemed like the thing he needed to do - or the thing he had been wanting to do for quite some time? His knees felt like pudding and his stomach as if it was doing somersaults without any sense for decency. And yet, before he could even begin to fully understand what was happening to him, suddenly, Oswald withdrew from him and all but stumbled back. Almost he would have fallen because of his leg.

It was then as Oswald stared at him wide-eyed in anger, that Ed knew he had fucked up big time.

※※※※※※※

A thousand thoughts were rushing through his mind at the very same time and yet not a single one registered in his brain. The fact that Edward, his best friend, had just kissed him, did not register. The only thing registering to him was that Jim Gordon was standing behind Edward in the open doorway with two new cups of punch in his hands and a surprised expression on his face.

»Oh!« Jim suddenly stammered as their eyes met over Edward’s left shoulder and even Ed looked mortified as he noticed Jim’s presence. Jim, however, played his surprise down with a smile on his face and pushed the cups at Oswald and Ed quickly. Almost, Oswald would have dropped his cup as his eyes remained glued to Jim. »Don't let me interrupt you guys!« He wanted to protest but before he could even get his mouth to cooperate, Jim had already vanished back inside as if he had never been there.

»What the hell, Ed?« Oswald yelled before his mind had even managed to catch up with him or the situation at hand. There was only one thought in his mind now: Jim Gordon had just witnessed how Edward Nygma had kissed him! He was certain that Jim would have made a move on him in the next few minutes out here and Edward, his best friend, had just ruined it for him! The thought that his best friend had just kissed him - and thus stolen a kiss from him _again_ \- registered only barely in his mind now.

»I-I’m sorry … I don't know why … geez, I’m sorry, Oz!« Edward stammered, stumbling over his words as he apparently did not even know what he wanted to say. If there was anything he could say to make it better, he seemed unable to find the right words. »Please … Ozzy … Let me explain … I…«

»I don't care, Ed!« Oswald hissed and almost was tempted to spill his punch on his friend. Soiling his bandages forever would be just plain mean, though. »You just ruined everything!« He didn't want to shout. He really didn't want to shout. He didn't want to yell at his best friend. He didn't want to see Edward looking so confused and lost and hurt. Still, in the end, Oswald just turned around sharply and rushed back into the house and left his friend out there to deal with all of this alone.

The truth was, he didn't want to think about what just happened. He didn't want to deal with what had just happened. If he would, he wouldn't be able to sort everything out with Jim now. If he would stop to think about it, he would not be able to function any longer. No matter how much he loved Ed as his friend, now he needed to focus on finding Jim and explaining everything to him. Maybe he could still save the night. He needed to be brave now, to make a move now - if he still wanted a chance of getting his hands on the man he loved, that was.

The music was by now almost deafening to him as he quickly maneuvered through the house and the people that were still there. Soon the party would be over and everyone would be heading home. He needed to use the time he still had to make things right with Jim and at the same time, in the back of his mind, there was still Ed and the guilt he felt for leaving him hanging like this.

By now there were numerous couples canoodling all around the place - but no trace of Jim. He found Butch and Tabitha smooching on the sofa in the living room, dressed up as Frankenstein’s monster and, fittingly, the bride of Frankenstein. He walked past all of this quickly and finally reached the dining room only to have the rug pulled out from underneath his feet once more in this very night.

There he was: Jim Gordon. Jim Gordon engaged in a heated make-out session with a nurse. A nurse Oswald briefly recognized as Lee Thompkins. He could feel his heart shatter inside his chest almost. He could feel how he lost the ground underneath his feet at the sight before him. There was a part of him that just wanted to storm in and get between the two of them. He wanted to scream at Lee, he wanted to apologize to Jim. In the end, he couldn't even move.

Before any of them could notice him, however, Oswald turned away sharply from the horrifying display and left as quickly as he came with the feeling of shame and humiliation gnawing at his insides.

 

**-End of Chapter 14-**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone ready to go aboard the angst train? chu-chuuuu

Ed had kissed him. The reality of this had still not completely sunken in even as he was walking through the entrance of the school on this Monday morning in November. Edward, his best friend, had kissed him without a warning. And it had not been the kind of kiss you would give someone for thanking them or to express excitement either. It had been a real kiss. Not a peck on the cheek! Not even a peck on the lips like his mother would have given him in the morning. This had been a real full-blown kiss like between lovers - even though it had been very one-sided.

Butch had found him sitting outside on the porch and given him a ride home after the party. Still, even for hours after the party had already ended and he had been lying in his giant bed staring at the wooden ceiling, he had thought about the kiss and about the feeling of Edward’s lips on his own. They had been much softer than he had anticipated and - just as expected, he would need to stand on his tiptoes to actually reach up to him. The movement had happened involuntarily as Ed had just grabbed him like this to steal that kiss from him. Again.

Edward Nygma had stolen his first _real_ kiss. Again. And to make everything just all the worse, Jim Gordon had witnessed it. He hadn't talked to either Jim or Edward after this whole dilemma and after he had run into Jim and Lee. Hell … Had he read the signs so wrong? Had Jim not been interested in him at all? Or had he been hurt maybe? Had he just needed to blow off steam after seeing that kiss and went to Lee for it? No … Jim Gordon was not that type of guy, was he? He was not the type of person who ran around banging someone just because his ego had been hurt.

Had he really been so blind not to see that Jim had a thing with Lee? The entire weekend long, Oswald had felt like crap sitting in the van Dahl home and nursing his broken heart like a physical injury. To his surprise, no one had asked him. They had probably realized right away that something must have happened on that party and given him the space he needed. Charles had actually warmed him to the idea of going for a walk together on Sunday and they had been surprised by yet another violent storm. Spending time with his younger brother had actually been quite nice but it had not eased the ballast on his shoulders.

Sure enough, he had dreaded the moment when he would walk into the school again. Today was Monday and usually, he would meet Ed after school for his therapy. How was he supposed to even talk to him, let alone trust him enough for this kind of thing after he had ruined everything?

There was this tiny little voice in the back of his head telling him that he might have royally embarrassed himself in front of Jim had Ed not gone for the kiss. Had Ed not done this, maybe Oswald would have tried to kiss Jim that night and if Jim really had been dating Lee Thompkins already and had only been trying to be nice to Oswald … He didn't even want to imagine the horror. And yet … Had Jim just tried to be nice? Had he been … pitying him?

Oswald made it to his locker without incident on his morning. By now he was better in juggling with his crutch, his backpack and the books he needed to take. However, as he closed his locker, he immediately jumped as behind the previously open door a familiar face had materialized out of thin air.

»Fuck, Edward!« He exclaimed. Edward’s sudden materialization had startled him so badly that he almost dropped his books. Nygma ex-machina. Awesome. Just great.

»Sorry … Sorry .. I didn't mean to startle you.« Ed quickly replied and that was all it took for Oswald to realize that he was being confronted with that same jittery loser he had talked to almost two months ago for the first time. This Edward Nygma was not the same confident Ed Nygma he got to spend so much time with ever since the start of his new school year. His ears were burning red and he avoided looking him directly in the eyes as if he was afraid that he would turn into stone. In fact, he very much looked like a toddler who had been caught with the hand in the cookie jar by Santa himself. It would have been cute, would Oswald not know the reason for it.

»Then maybe you should not just appear behind a door like this, Nygma.« He did his best to pour as much venom into his voice as possible without poisoning himself with it.

»I’m sorry, Oz … I just thought we could … talk.«

»There is nothing to talk about.«

»Please, let me explain … I didn't mean to-«

»Spare me.« He growled. »Do me a favor, Ed, and leave me alone.«

The hurt that he saw ghosting over Ed’s face did not escape him. Of course, it didn't escape him. Edward was his best friend, after all. He loved him - in a very platonic way! He could see that his words pained his friend and he hated himself for it and yet, he felt only anger looking at Edward. That was why he was quick to gather himself and hobble past him. It wasn't nice, it wasn't kind, it wasn't polite and it was not how his mother had raised him and yet, he could not stand looking at Edward for even a second longer now.

※※※※※※※

He wouldn't lie, his confrontation with Oswald after a whole weekend of the silent treatment had not gone as planned. Actually, the way Oswald had talked to him and treated him had hurt much more than he was willing to admit. He wouldn't say that he had expected better from Oswald. He understood his anger and the way he reacted to Ed but … Maybe he had not quite expected him to be this furious or - dare he say it - disgusted by Edward.

He had had more than enough time since he had fled the party on Friday to think about everything and to come to find an answer to the question as to why he had kissed Oswald. It was rather simple, actually. In fact, the easiest answers always tended to be the correct ones too. He was attracted to Oswald Cobblepot, he had spent weeks and weeks with him almost non stop, and in a moment of deep confusion, he had kissed him. That was it. There was no deeper mystery - which in turn was something that proved to be a little infuriating to Edward, honesty. He had spent hours trying to wrap his head around it. Sure, his friend was pretty - at least in his eyes and yet that kiss had come out of the blue not only for Oswald.

Maybe he had expected his best friend to be a little more open towards him. Maybe he had expected Oswald to at least listen to him after that kiss. Yet, he had not and for the rest of the day, Ed had not been able to grab a hold of him again. Oswald was not to be found for the rest of the school day and as the afternoon came and he realized that Oswald would not come to their scheduled meeting at the pool, Ed felt annoyance for his best friend for the very first time.

He was annoyed not because Oswald was actively avoiding him. He was annoyed because Oswald Cobblepot was not the type of person who avoided others instead of confronting them. The only exception being, of course, Jerome Valeska. This thought left a sour taste in his mouth. He didn't wish to be placed on the same level as someone as vile as Jerome Valeska.

In the end, he decided that, if he couldn't make amends with Oswald, at least he could try talking to Kristen. He had hurt her, after all, the same way that Oswald had hurt him - at least in a way. After all, she had taken a risk in actually kissing him and he had repaid her in leaving her behind like this. At the very least he owed her an apology and perhaps even an explanation.

Finding out where Kristen would be was easy enough. He knew her schedule better than his own, after all. Oswald would call it a result of his stalking. He found Kristen in the gym during cheerleader practice after most people had already left the school for the day. For the longest moment, he didn't know if he really should approach her right now or rather wait another day. However, Kristen took that choice from him as she actually noticed him standing awkwardly to the side by the doors and waved at him with one of her friendliest smiles. Needless to say, he was a little bewildered by her reaction towards him. He would have thought it much more plausible had she scowled at him as Oswald had. Instead, she hurried over after talking shortly to one of the other girls.

»Edward!« She greeted him with that same friendly and sunny smile as before as she came to a halt before him. Only last week, this smile would have caused him to melt into a disgusting puddle on the ground. Now, though it filled him with warmth, it had no further effect on him. »How are you?«

»I want to apologize.« He blurted out right away instead of even acknowledging her greeting and thus catching her by surprise right away. Maybe not giving her a proper answer was beyond rude even. She blinked and batted those long lashes of her’s in bewilderment but then smiled again.

»For what?«

»For what happened at the party.«

»Oh, Ed … It's-«

»It's not fine.« Ed interrupted her quickly and it took all his self-control not to ruffle his own hair. A habit he really wanted to get rid of. He was a young man, almost eighteen and not a child, after all. »It's really not. I just left you standing without any explanation and that is not a very polite or nice thing to do. So … Yes, I am sorry, Kristen. I am very sorry for the way I treated you that night. You didn't deserve this and I behaved like an asshole and you deserve an explanation.«

Kristen seemed honestly surprised and for a moment taken aback but then he could see her resolve melt and her eyes soften. A part of him wondered even if she might be impressed by his seriousness and his willingness to thoroughly explain himself to her. Perhaps she liked him even more for this - not that it would really matter now. Then again, maybe there was still a chance for them.

»Well, okay then.« She smiled and gestured towards the bleachers. He followed her there and sat down with her while the other cheerleaders were still busy doing their thing without Kristen. He could see Barbara snarking at Tabitha from afar but paid it no mind. »So … I'm all ears.«

Her smile was disarming and Ed was again a bumbling, blushing mess. His confident persona, the Ed Nygma he seemed able to show the world only when he was with Oswald, was gone again. Suddenly, he didn't know how to begin the explanation he had promised to give her. Suddenly, he realized that he had not even thought about what he really wanted to tell her until now.

»I … I don't know … Oh dear … I am just such a loser!« He heard himself groaning.

»Well, how about you start at why you didn't want to kiss me. I mean have I been reading the signs so wrong?«

»No.« He finally sighed. »No, not at all. What I told you is true, I did have a crush on you for the longest time and I was certain that I still did the day of the party. I thought … I thought you and me would start dating and everything would turn out fine and then you kissed me and everything … _changed_.«

»Was I so bad?« It was meant as a joke and yet it startled him to the core. So much, in fact, that he was desperate to reassure her of her skill.

»No!« He quickly replied. »No, of course not! You were great! It was great!«

»Ed!« She laughed and stopped his rambling before it could get out of hand by putting her hand on his shoulder. »It's okay, I get it.«

»You do?«

»Of course.« She smiled. »You had a crush on me - but that's not the same as being in love with someone, right? I kissed you and it hit your that … it _didn't_ hit you. You realized that it was just a crush, that you didn't feel for me what you thought you felt. It was the idea of being with me that you chased but the real thing was not what you imagined it would be like. That's okay. Something like this cannot be forced, Ed. Especially not when you clearly are in love with someone else, huh?«

»What do you mean?«

She looked at him as if he had lost his mind completely - or more so than usual, at the very least. »I mean … Oswald of course.«

»What?« He gasped before quickly shaking his head in response. »No! I don't … I don't love Oswald.«

»Are you sure about that?« She smirked. »I mean … Sure, that evening at the party I thought that you liked me … But I had time to think and I … Well, I've seen the way you look at him, right? And remember, the first thing you desperately needed to do after you ran away from me was to go and find Oswald.«

»That doesn't mean that I…«

»Ed … Listen … I know you've been through a lot. I mean, Isabella is my sister and … Well, despite what she might have told you, we didn't always hate each other as we do now. We used to talk. I know a thing or two about you.« Her words might be cryptic for most but to Edward they were a riddle much too easy to solve. So, Isabella had talked to her sister about him. Was this before or after they had started dating? Maybe he should ask. Maybe it was not important. Knowing Isabella, she had probably told her sister about his family situation and how his father was treating him. He had been a charity case for Isabella. Some lost and lonely boy whom she could fix. » There's nothing wrong with you. Being gay or bisexual … it's not wrong, it's no crime - even though my sister would claim otherwise. If you love Oswald, that's okay.«

»I don't … I don't know what I feel.«

»Then tell me.« She smiled and clasped both his hand into her own. They were soft and warm against his skin and her eyes were friendly and encouraging as she looked at him. To the other cheerleaders, they surely looked like turtle doves right now. »How do you feel when you are with him?«

»I don't know … I just … I feel … confident. More confident than I ever felt before, honestly.I feel smart and funny and witty. I know that I am smart - but usually talking to other people makes me feel stupid. When I'm with Oswald I feel like there is nothing I couldn't tell him. He would never judge me or laugh at me or make fun of me. When I'm with him I don't feel like that freak everyone sees in me. I feel like he understands me on a level no one has ever understood me on.«

He paused for a moment as he allowed his eyes to travel across the gym, taking in the cheerleaders during their practice and the sunlight of another nice autumn day in Gotham shining through the windows below the roof.

»And he … Heck, he is funny. And he is sweet. He has a tongue sharp as a razor blade and can outsmart even the most intelligent people I've ever met. He always seems to know what's on my mind even before I do so myself. He was the first person to ever actually ask me how I was doing … Even Isabella never really cared about that. Oswald does, though. And I cannot lie to him. It's impossible. He always sees right through it.«

It seemed now after he had begun talking he was unable to stop. »And he's pretty. Everyone says he's ugly and the other guys make fun of him, but I think he is pretty. He has those big blue eyes - Sometimes I'm not sure if they're green or if they are blue - but I'm pretty sure they're blue. And he has freckles all over the place. He hates them but I think they are adorable. And he's much stronger than everyone thinks he is. I mean … everyone makes fun of his crippled leg or of his upbringing, but he's gone through a lot and he pulled through all this shit just fine. He is a quick learner and he even beat up Jerome. I … Sometimes I envy him for his strength of mind. Giving up never seems to be an option for him.«

Only then did he realize how much he had been talking. Immediately, the heat started rising in his cheeks again. He probably sounded like a complete fool to Kristen. »I'm sorry … I have been rambling again.« And that was why he had no friends, except for Oswald. Most people hated it when he started rambling. He knew that it was annoying. He knew that _he_ was annoying. His father had told him so more often than not and yet he could just not help it. No wonder Oswald didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

»It's fine.« Kristen reassured him with a gentle smile. »It's fine. Wow … Well, if one of my exes would have ever talked about me like this they would not be my ex.« She then laughed. »And here you are claiming not to be in love with him. Ed … Take it from a friend, yes? Go for it. Don't waste your time, don't throw away your shot. Go for it and get him.«

»That's easier said than done.« He sighed. Maybe Kristen was right. Maybe he was in love with his best friend after all. Her words made sense to him now. It was like stepping away from an especially hard puzzle and talking about it to get someone else's perspective on the matter - which was something he had never really felt the need for until now. For him, it had always been easy to find a solution to every possible mystery or puzzle. Only how he should solve this one eluded his understanding. »You don't know the best part of the story yet. After I ran away from you like a little bitch … I found Oswald and you know what I did? I kissed him. I ruined my friendship with him. I lost the best friend I’ve ever had because I have no impulse control.«

»Oh.« She seemed very willing to stifle a chuckle but didn't quite succeed. »Let me guess: He didn't like that very much, huh?«

»No … No, he did not.« Ed allowed his head to fall forward and his shoulders to slump before he regained a little more dignity and set up straight again. Kristen seemed a little too amused by all of this for his liking. He couldn't blame her, though. This whole situation was beyond ridiculous. »The thing is, I promised him to help him to get with Jim Gordon and I was certain that this would happen at the party … Problem is … Jim saw me kiss Oswald and, of course, he retreated. Jim is a good guy. Even if he really liked Oz … He would never go between us, right?«

»So what now?«

»I don't know.«

»Well, you should just go and talk to Oswald, explain everything, tell him how you truly feel.«

»He's avoiding me.« He concluded with a sigh and dropped his head in exasperation once more. He felt heavy and stuck and didn't know what to do about it. It was surprisingly easy to talk to Kristen about all of this crap and her supportive hands never really left his all through it.

»Perhaps give him a little more time to process. He’ll come around.« She promised with a smile as she put her index finger under his chin to tilt it upwards gently. »I mean you guys are pretty much joined at … Well, everywhere. He’ll miss you and then is your time to talk to him.«

※※※※※※※

He felt weird when he arrived back home. This day at school he had avoided Edward at all costs and Jim too. He felt stupid because everytime he had seen Jim from afar at this day, he had been with Lee. How had he not been able to see that before? He had even avoided Butch. After all, Butch had told him that Jim liked him, right? Had Butch not told him that, he might never even have felt brave enough to consider making a move on Jim.

After doing his homework all alone in his room for the first time in a long while, he felt strangely tired and empty. The day had been exhausting for some odd reason even though nothing had happened that was out of the ordinary in any way. Jerome Valeska was still suspiciously well-behaved when they would meet on the hallway and most people ignored him as they had always done. With Ed not being by his side today, he felt strangely as if he was running low on battery. What an odd thing to think.

Sure enough, it was his younger brother Charles who seemed to pick up on how low his big brother was feeling. Charles seemed to be a very empathetic guy and it was not the first time that Oswald got to notice this trait of the fourteen-year-old boy. Sasha was sweet, of course, but she tended to be a very me-person. She was full of energy and when she would start talking it was hard to shut her up. She was a bit like Ed in this regard. The only difference was that when she got going one could not expect brilliance coming out of her mouth but gossip, usually. Sasha was very much the princess of this family and she didn't much like it when attention was drawn away from her. Charles had once told him that his big sister had once tried to sell him in handing out flyers when they had both been little. She had not liked the competition.

»Is everything alright?« Charles asked as he sat down on the couch in the living room where Oswald currently tried to read - with little success. »You seem down. Did something happen?«

»No … No, everything is fine.« Oswald replied and tried to force a smile. He didn't want his brother to think that he couldn't talk to him or show interest in him. He actually quite liked his younger brother, even though Charles was still so very naive at times. Well, he was a kid, after all.

»You don't seem fine.« Charles replied with furrowed brows and inched closer. »You were home early today. I thought you and your friend Edward would practice on Mondays.«

»Not today.« He mumbled as he closed his book and allowed it to rest on his lap. Ed had recommended the book to him so it must be good. Oswald, though, couldn't wrap his head around it at the moment.

»Did you have a fight?«

»No. No, it's just…« Yes, what? What was it? It was hard to explain if he didn't even know himself what all of this meant. »We didn't have a fight … He just did something I didn't expect and now I don't know how to face him.«

»What did he do?«

»He … Well … He kissed me … on that party.« His brother deserved the truth even though it felt odd to actually say what had happened. It made it more real, somehow. He hadn't even talked to Butch or Tabby about it when Butch had given him a ride home that night. His brother seemed surprised by his words at first but his gaze remained soft as he looked at him.

»So?« He urged.

»Well, I yelled at him and stormed off. Real mature, I know.«

»You mean you don't like him?«

»Not like that.«

»Huh.« Charles made.

»What?«

»I could've sworn you guys were a thing. I mean … Sure, I only met him twice but the way he looked at you … The way you looked at him.« He shrugged shortly. »Excuse me for being so blunt, Oswald, but I thought you were … You know…«

»What?«

»Gay.«

The word, coming out of his brother’s mouth, was like a wrecking ball to his gut and would have knocked him off his feet would he be standing upright. His brother seemed not even bothered by the idea of the possibility of him being gay, though. He felt oddly relieved to realize that his family probably didn't even care about his sexuality. Or at least his little brother didn't seem to do.

»Well … Yes, I am…« He admitted even though he could feel how his ears were burning red at this admission. »B-But Ed and I … We never … We were friends. We _are_ friends. It's not like that-«

»Hey, chill. Everything is cool, Oswald. You don't have to explain any of this to me if it makes you uncomfortable. I just think … Well, after observing you guys a little, I think you would make a nice couple, that's all. But well, you are avoiding him since the party huh? That’s why you’re so down since then?«

»Yes.« Oswald admitted with a deep sigh and felt as if he was slowly losing a ton of weight that had been dragging him down ever since that party. He felt like he was drowning in all of this raw emotion and didn't know how to get back to the surface to breathe. It had been so easy to breathe when Ed was around. So easy to focus. Now he felt like there were weights tied to his feet dragging him down into the maul of the Leviathan. Back into the darkness of the bottomless pit that was his mind. Since his mother’s death, Ed was the first good thing that happened to him. He was very aware of that fact. Only after he had allowed Ed to come into his life had he been able to open himself up to the other people in his life as well.

»Maybe you should just give him a chance to explain himself.«

※※※※※※※

This night, he didn't have any place to turn instead of going home. There was no one who would take him in for the night. Sitting in his car in front of his own house, he thought about just driving to Fish and ask her if he might stay the night. But that would look weird, of course. She would ask him why and he didn't want anyone to know - anyone who wasn't Oswald. He didn't want anyone to get involved. He didn't want anyone to think that he was in need of help in this situation.

Yet, today he felt especially worn down and unwilling to deal with his dad. He would rather sleep in his car than actually go inside. There was no light on inside the house but of course, that didn't have to mean anything. He spent far too long just sitting there with his hands resting on the steering wheel before he finally forced himself to get out of the car and walk up to the house. He just needed to make it up the stairs and into his room, locking his door and falling into his bed. Easy. He could do that.

So, he finally opened the front door and stepped inside. There was a sliver of light coming from the kitchen and falling into the hallway. Probably the light from the small neon lamp above the stove. Thanks to the heavy overhead cupboards all around the stove, it was almost impossible to see it when the lamp above the stove was on from the outside of the house. The kitchen was a small and cramped-up room under normal circumstances but the heavy and outdated furniture that had only added to the effect.

If his father was sitting at the table drinking, he had already heard him coming in through the front door. Sure, he could turn around and walk back outside but that would look like he was fleeing from his father and not just to his old man. He didn't wish to give him this sense of satisfaction. He did not want to allow his father to think that his only son was terrified of him. Sure enough, his father's voice came from the kitchen before Ed had even closed the door completely.

»Ed!« His father shouted. »Come here, Boy.« He was already slurring his words.

Oh, this couldn't be good. He could judge by his tone of voice alone, the heaviness of it, and the fact that he was actually calling for him in the first place that this couldn't be good. Yet, all Edward could do was swallow the sick feeling rising up inside of his stomach as he slowly closed the door behind himself completely and walked over to the kitchen door entrance. The wooden door of the kitchen was long gone after his father had punched a hole into it in a fight or rage a few years ago. His mother had still been alive back then. He remembered the day only faintly - courtesy of the concussion he got that same day. He only remembered that his mother had been in bed upstairs, sick and dying and that he had done something to annoy his father. What, he couldn't remember. He just knew that he had said something to send his father flying into a rage and that this day had ended with him in the hospital and his father removing the kitchen door.

His father sat still at the kitchen table, a bottle of beer in his right hand, his left resting on the tabletop, his back slouched like always after a few too many beers and his eyes narrowed and droopy. He looked very much like a bull that was contemplating going in for the attack. As per usual, the kitchen was a complete mess. It reeked of trash that should have been brought out at least days ago and cold food that was still on the stove and forgotten. The sink was the nightmare for every person with OCD and the kitchen table littered with newspapers and mail and all kinds of other crap. Ed usually avoided using the kitchen. And why would he? The fridge was empty half of the goddamn time anyway.

»Hey, Dad.« He opted for a casual greeting although he knew just by looking at his father's face that he had already lost this confrontation before it even started properly. »Something wrong?«

»Something wrong?« His father parroted back to him and lowered his eyes on the tabletop, feigning calmness and a relaxed posture. Never a good sign. Even when calm his father was not a calm person. He had never been a laid-back kind of guy. »Nothing wrong, no. Only that my son is a fucking _faggot_.«

The words hit him like a wrecking ball straight to the guts and yet he tried to play it cool and didn't let his face show what he felt deep inside. He knew that he was walking a tightrope now. It was a very thin line he was navigating on and he could not allow the smallest misstep.

»I don't understand what you-«

It was this that made his father fly into a rage as he jumped up from the chair, which ultimately caused the chair to fall over, and hurled his half-empty bottle at his son. Luckily. Ed was quick to dodge it before it could hit him. The bottle burst somewhere in the hallway behind Edward, spilling beer and shards all across the dirty oriental carpet his mother had bought years ago from a garage sale to make their home more homely.

»Your girlfriend came by!« His father shouted. His cheeks and neck were blotched and red. There was a thick vein popping on the left side of his neck. _Arteria carotis interna,_ his brain helpfully provided. »Your _ex_ -girlfriend! She told me you left her for a guy!«

Isabella. Of course, she would want to lash out on him after everything. Of curse, even though she herself had decided to take a break from their relationship to go to Italy for a while, she would try to retaliate. Despite the fact that it had been her idea, she was all too eager to put the blame on Edward. After all, it didn't need a clairvoyant to know that she had hoped he would fight for her and their relationship. She probably really believed that he had a thing going on with Oswald. Yet, he would have never expected her to do something like this to him.

»That's not true!« Ed growled. »She's only saying this because she didn't get what she wanted!«

»Then why would any normal guy break up with a girl like her?« His father shouted at him. »I always knew that you are a freak but I had no idea how much of a freak you were! And don't deny it! She showed me a photo of you kissing that ugly little guy! Can you imagine my disgust? How am I going to go back to work when everyone in this god damned city knows that my son is a faggot?«

He acted before he could even think about it. There was something inside of him that just snapped at his father's words. Maybe it was that dark voice in the back of his head that took control over his body, maybe he was just desperate for an excuse as he lunged at his father. Whatever it was, it gave him the sudden burst of courage and rage necessary to tackle his father to the ground and bury his fist in his meaty face.

»You don't talk like this about Oswald!«

Maybe the reason for his sudden burst of rage was a little silly for other people but to him, his father had reached his breaking point by insulting Oswald like this. It was not just that, of course. It was years and years of suppressed anger and fear all bubbling to the surface, it was his anger about Isabella showing his father the picture Jerome had taken of them after forcing them to kiss. It was his anger over the fact that his ex-girlfriend was such a wretched person. It was his anger over the fact that he had messed up so badly and lost Oswald forever just because he had not had himself under better control.

At least his father had not expected this sudden attack by his usually oh so timid son and so Ed had the moment of surprise on his side before his father regained control over his senses and fought back. To his father, it was easy throwing Edward off of him. What followed was a barrage of kicks and punches aimed all over his body but focussing primarily on his head and stomach.  He couldn't do anything, couldn't even fight back against his old man as he, completely enraged now, attacked his son. It was clear that his father had lost all control over himself at this point.

 _He's gonna kill me_. The thought shot through his brain like a lightning bolt. There was no panic in him, weirdly enough. He knew that his father would kill him. He just knew and the thought did not fill him with dread. He always expected it would fill him with dread or panic but that just was not the case. It was a very matter-of-fact thing for him. Just some new piece of knowledge to file away. His father was going to beat him to death this time - unless he would do something about it. There was no future for him if he would not do anything about this. No college, no chance of reconciliation with Oswald. Nothing. And perhaps there was a part of him that wanted that. Maybe there was a part of him that wanted to allow his father to actually kill him so that it was all over once and for all. Maybe this was better than what might be in his future.

It was this exact thought that allowed him to mobilize his remaining strength again to kick both his feet against his father's chest. He didn't know how and later he wouldn't be able to recall how he actually did it, but he succeeded in knocking his father off-balance and to jump back to his feet. He grabbed his father by the collar of his work jumpsuit and before the old man could brace himself for the attack, Edward had already beaten his head against the fridge door once before he let go of him. The adrenalin kept him from experiencing the pain - another information his brain just shoved at him without any warning as he started running.

»Come back, you little Cocksucker!« His father bellowed after him and he could hear him stomp behind him as Edward managed to rip open the front door. The moment Ed had bridged the threshold and wanted to jump down the three steps leading to the door, his father's meaty fist closed around his right biceps and as he pulled hard on his son, Edward decided to leap forward. The resulting sound was sickening. He heard the plop as his arm popped out of the socket before he felt the nauseating pain like a punch to the guts.

It was not the first time that this happened. He knew this kind of pain and he knew that there were only two possible things that could happen now: either he would pass out or he would throw up. For neither of this he had time. His father had let go of his arm the moment it happened and Ed almost lost his balance as he landed on the footpath before the house. His stomach was revolting but he quickly pulled his keys from the pocket of his jeans with his left hand and jammed them into the door of his car. By what miracle he was able to do all this, he didn't know. His left hand was pretty much useless most days but in this situation, there was none of that.

He didn't think, he didn't allow the pain to knock him out, he didn't allow his body to react, or his brain to process what was happening as he jumped in the car, shoved the keys in the engine, loosened the breaks with his left hand awkwardly and hit the gas. He could see the black clouds at the edges of his field of vision approach, threatening to claim him right here and now. Somewhere he could hear someone hum a tune and only after a while he realized that the humming came from his own throat. He didn't know where to drive.

The sensible thing would be to drive to the ER right away but he could not actually gather one single sensible thought right in this instance. In the end, it was perhaps instinct that led him to his destination. Whatever it was, he found a parking spot, managed to pull himself out of the car and to stagger sluggishly up the couple of stairs that led to the door of the small townhouse. By now, the world was spinning out of control around him and he was unable to take his finger off of the doorbell even as the sound of footfalls coming to the door from behind it registered in his ears.

The door was ripped open at once and before the woman on the other side could shout at him, Ed threw up all over Fish Mooney’s doorstep.

 

**-End of Chapter 15-**


	16. Chapter 16

The call on his cell phone came without much warning after Oswald had retreated to his room upstairs. It was still early in the evening and usually, he would spend at least another few hours downstairs with his siblings or father but instead he had apologized to them before dinner and retreated to his room. After a day like this, he just couldn't even think of eating a bite. He was just closing the door behind him as he heard his phone vibrating on his desk and hurried over. His initial thought was that it was Ed who wanted to talk to him or perhaps even Fish who wanted to check in on him.

However, as he opened his phone, he found Jim Gordon’s name flashing on the screen and immediately started to panic which almost led to him dropping the phone. Fuck. _What now? What now?_

He couldn't ignore Jim Gordon’s call, could he? He couldn't accept it either, could he? What would he say to Jim? What would Jim say to him? He had been outright avoiding Jim the entire day! He probably knew what was up! Did he know that Oswald was in love with him too? His head was going to explode! He felt feverish He felt hot and cold at the same time while his phone kept ringing as a constant reminder of what truths he had to face sooner or later.

And then, in a surge of courage, he finally pushed the accept button and slowly raised the phone to his ear. »Hello?« He asked and the moment the word escaped him he wanted to punch himself in the mouth for how timid he sounded! He wasn’t a shy or timid little guy!

»Hey, Ozzie!« Jim’s response sounded much more cheerful in response. »How are you?«

»I’m-« _Heartbroken? Sad? Devastated because you are canoodling with Lee Thompkins and not me?_ »I’m doing fine, thank you. How are you?«

»Fine, fine.« Jim responded quickly although he sounded as if he just wanted to get itb out of the way before he could focus on the topic he really wanted to talk about. There was a moment of awkward silence on the other end as Jim probably realized too that they had never talked on the phone until now. It was a little weird. Speaking on the phone was always awkward. »Hey, listen, Oz … I’m just calling to ask if everything is okay. I haven't seen you all day at school today.« His heart beat a bit faster right away. So, Jim had actually noticed his absence? Maybe there was still hope! »You know, I was just a little worried that Jerome might have done anything again. I haven't seen you leave the party and just wanted to check in on you. Did you get home fine?«

»Yes, I-«

»Hey, listen … About you and Ed« Jim interrupted before he could actually answer his question. Rude. Then again, he was Jim Gordon and Oswald helpless when he was imagining his face now and how he was probably worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. »I didn't know you guys were dating but I’m really happy for you. I mean it was quite the surprise when I found out but- It's cool! It really is! Lee says so too … Well, she told me actually that she’d seen it coming from a mile away!« Jim laughed on the other end of the line and Oswald was almost completely taken up by the feeling of his stomach constricting and clenching. He felt like he was going to be sick.

»Oh … uhm … No … we aren’t dating…«

»What?« The surprise sounded honest and that made it only worse for Oswald even though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. »Why? You guys are perfect together!«

»I don't like him like this.« Oswald replied quietly only to be repaid with a small scoff from the other end. Sure enough, Oswald was aware just how stupid his words had sounded and how dishonest - even to himself.

»Yeah, sure!« Jim huffed dryly. He could almost see how he was rolling his eyes in his mind. »No need to be shy about it, Oz! Really, I’m glad that you guys found each other. It was about time! Lee said maybe we could go grab a bite to eat at the diner sometime - double date or something like this. You know how girls can be sometimes!«

»I didn't know that you and Lee were dating.« He echoed Jim’s previous statement but probably much more cautious and less joyous as Jim before. He didn't want to sound disappointed or even saddened by the thought, yet he couldn't quite keep a little sadness from seeping right through. If Jim picked up on that, he didn't mention it.

»Oh?« Again his surprise sounded honest, almost as if he had been certain that Oswald would have known about him and Lee. Had he really been this blind? How had he not seen it before? »Yeah, we started dating shortly after I broke up with Barb, actually. We were friends for a while before.«

»Oh…« He parroted in a quiet mumble. How had he not known this? Why had Butch not told him? Had they all just played him and enjoyed seeing him hope for more between himself and Jim? Even Edward? No. Ed, despite everything, had never really lied to him, right? Ed had always been honest to him.

»Yes, but … Well, we kept it a bit of a secret, you know? We didn't want Barbara to find out right away … I didn't want to hurt her feelings, y’know? But after the party, we figured we might as well stop hiding.« He ended in a little chuckle as if all of this was just ridiculous in its own way. As if it had been so ridiculous to try to keep their relationship a secret because it had been so obvious. Oswald, on the other hand, realized that he had perhaps just been blinded by his own silly little heart and it's silly little desires.

Hell, as if someone as gorgeous as Jim Gordon would ever look at someone as weird as him like this! And yet, someone as gorgeous as Edward Nygma, his best friend, had looked at him like this and even kissed him. How … odd.

»Congratulations.« Oswald mumbled after a moment of pause. »Really … Lee is such a nice girl. She is definitely a step up from Barbara Kean.«

»Yes.« Jim chuckled. »Thats what everyone’s been saying.« He could hear someone shouting Jim’s name in the background of the conversation. »Oh, geez! I need to get going, Ozzie. Talk to you soon, okay? Oh, and greet Ed from me!«

The conversation - whatever this conversation had been - was over just as quickly and sudden than it had begun and left Oswald even more confused and wounded and all in all with a wish to crawl under his giant bed and never crawl back out again. He could just do so, he imagined. He would live under his bed and become just one more crazy rich person who had decided to become friends with the probably hundreds of hairy spiders under his bed until they would accept him into their fold and make him a member of their society. Then he would never need to face Jim Gordon or Ed Nygma or anyone else ever again.

As if it wouldn't have been bad enough already that Jim was dating Lee or that Edward had kissed him on that party - now everyone seemed to be thinking that he and Edward were actually a couple! Living with the spiders under his bed suddenly became more and more appealing for certain. Of course, Edward was an attractive guy. He was nice looking, tall and handsome. He had cheekbones so sharp that he could cut people with them and eyes as warm and bright as melted amber. Not to mention just how smart he was. And kind! Ed would be a huge win for everyone who ended up dating him! That was out of the question but he was just not the man his heart belonged to, was he? For just a second, he wished it would be different. For just a second, he wished he had fallen in love with Edward over the course of those past weeks and throughout their plotting and scheming. He would be able to run up to Ed tomorrow at school then and fling himself into his arms like in those movies Fish liked to watch. This was not a rom-com, though.

»Oswald?« It was the voice of his stepmother that ripped him out of his thoughts as she knocked at his door and opened it a moment later carefully. »Hey, Sweetheart.« She added with a smile and walked inside without waiting to be invited in. Oswald was quick to place his phone back on his desk face down and rubbed his eyes before he turned around to face her completely. Surely, he looked as god-awful as he felt.

»Hey, Grace.« He replied and even to himself it was quite obvious that he sounded as if he had been crying. Fucking hormones. Fucking puberty! Fucking Jim Gordon! Fucking Edward Nygma!

»I just wanted to see if everything is okay, Darling.« She smiled warmly as she reached out to him as she was prone to do. By now, he had gotten quite used to her brushing her fingers over his cheek as she did now. A loving, motherly gesture and yet inherently different from how Fish would do it. »You have been behaving a little odd since that party on Friday. Are you feeling unwell? Are you missing your old house perhaps? Your father said you might be homesick and that I just shouldn't worry about it.«

»No … No, I’m not.« Oh, yes he was. He missed home. He missed Fish. He missed Butch … He missed Ed. »I’m okay. I’m just … I don't know … maybe I’m getting sick.«

She nodded with a thoughtful expression, letting her hand rest flat against his right cheek, and worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment. »Listen, Honey, I’ve heard you talk to your brother today.« He could feel how his heart jumped out of his chest and made it's way over to the bed to move in with the spiders already. A wave of ice-cold dread was washing over him in an instant as Grace pulled her hand away, her face unreadable. »I must say that I am a little concerned about the things you told Charles. You see, I am aware that you have grown up in the city and in a much different environment but in this part of society … Well, let's just say, Oswald, that your father and I don't wish that you burden your siblings with ideas like this.«

»What do you mean?«

»I mean, Oswald, that you should not go around and talk to people about your … _tendencies_ as if they were normal. A man who likes other men … Oswald, you must know that this is wrong and, quite frankly, disgusting, right? In the old times, homosexuals had the decency to sweep something like this under the rug and marry someone from a wealthy background. Being a dandy is one thing but living like this … Surely, you can’t really want this, can you?« Her voice, though soft and sweet as honey, was seeping like poison through his mind. »I don't wish that my children are exposed to something as heinous as this. Then again, there is still hope for you, right? The sooner you change schools the better. In your new school, you will no longer be bombarded with ideas like this. I am certain that your new school will quickly heal you from these unclean thoughts. Maybe it would be even better if you would allow us to send you to the boarding school in Switzerland where I studied. Until then, however, I would really like you to not talk about it - let alone act on your … _impulses_.«

The face she made as she said the word _impulses_ was one of pure disgust as if she had bitten into a lemon. The thought alone seemed to be repulsive.

It was by far not the first time that he was being confronted with any form of homophobia. Gotham was very open and progressive without any doubt and yet even in Gotham, there were people who couldn't stand the thought of gay people even existing. He had been the recipient of many crude comments and jokes in the past but never like this. For the first time ever, he felt like he was actually downright rejected by the people he loved - by his own family - just for being who he was. Grace seemed honestly repulsed by the idea of him being gay and around his siblings as if this would be some kind of sickness as if his siblings might catch his disease.

»I … But … That's who I am.« He managed to stutter as he desperately tried to sort out his mind.

»No, Oswald.« Grace frowned and there was pity creeping into her expression as well as she brushed a loving hand over his right cheek yet again. He was certain that he could feel his skin burn underneath her touch. »No, that's not who you are, Sweetheart. That's just … who you were told you are. Listen, I never knew your mother but after everything I heard about her, she was a rather loose woman and I am sure she was not the best role model for a young boy like you. She should have taken a husband and given you a male role model in your life, then this wouldn't have happened. Oh, my Dear, it's not your fault. Time and time again I heard stories like you in the past. Poor boys, raised by single mothers, missing a male figure in their life and turning to a life of sin that only led them to self-destruction. In their sexual partners, they search for the thing they hadn't had in their childhood. But you don't need this, Oswald. Your father is right here. You don't need to follow this sinful past and I am certain that you can overcome this.  I understand that this is all very confusing to you, my Darling, but just know that you can still be saved.«

 _Saved_. The word hit him like a wrecking ball right to the stomach. He felt like throwing up. The way she said all these things. The way she spoke to him about it … It was sickening. He didn't know what to do or what to say. A part of him wanted to lash out especially for the way she talked about his mother but in the end, he just stood there completely frozen in horror of the situation.

»Maybe it's better you would go to sleep now, Darling. And if you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you. Just don't talk about your urges to your poor father. You know about his weak constitution. We wouldn't want him to suffer another heart attack from the shock of such revelations.«

As she was gone, he slumped heavily on the chaise lounge in front of his fireplace. Despite the crackling fire, he was ice cold. He felt like he was going to hyperventilate or pass out any minute now. For the longest time, he just sat there, unable to cope with what just happened. When the tears finally started spilling it didn't even feel like a relief. After the dam had been broken for the first time, the tears wouldn't stop flowing and he had no other choice but to curl up on the chaise lounge and cry into one of the expensive cushions. It was too much. Usually, Oswald was not one to cry easily. And yet in this night, he couldn't help himself. It was all too much. Jim, Edward, Grace … his mother. Fish. He missed her so much. He missed Fish almost as much as he missed his mother but unlike his mother, Fish was still out there.

It was this exact thought that prompted his next move.

It was already half past eleven and the house was silent when Oswald left his room the next time. He didn't walk out of the door and into the hallway but climbed down the trellis underneath his window instead. For once, his stupid leg did not prove to be much of an inconvenience. Down the hill was a bus stop and as he made his way down the path only with his backpack and a set of clothes, he vowed never to return to this house and his stepmother ever again.

※※※※※※※

»I’m so sorry, Miss Mooney.« He didn't even know how many times he had muttered the same words over and over again in the last couple of hours. This didn't make the words less true, though. He was deeply sorry for throwing up all over her doorstep earlier in this night. And he was deeply sorry that because of him she had to drive through town to deliver him to the ER as if she would be his mother or be obliged to him in any way.

»Oh, shush, you.« Fish smiled at him from the side as she was once again driving through the city. Surely, she had envisioned her night to go a little differently. Ed sat slumped in the passenger seat and felt like he was dying - or about to throw up again. He was nauseous and tired and loopy. By now it was almost midnight and poor Miss Mooney had gotten no rest at all. »You don't need to apologize. It's not your fault.«

She had stayed with him for the entire time in the hospital. She had waited with him in the waiting room of the ER and listened to him whine about his injuries. She had gone through it all with him as a mother would. She wouldn't have needed to stay with him. She could have dropped him off and let him handle himself, right? After all, he was Oswald's friend and Oswald was not living with her anymore. Then again … was he still Oswald's friend?

»Yes, it is…« He groaned. His heart was pounding. He had his right arm in a sling and had gotten something for the pain after his doctor had stitched him up where it had been necessary. His father had managed to fracture two of his ribs but they would heal in time. It wasn't the first time he would have suffered from something like this. Not to mention the state of his face or the rest of him. This time, his father had truly outdone himself and the only satisfaction he got was the knowledge that he had thrown a few good punches as well. For at least a couple of days, his father would now look in the mirror and see the damage his son had inflicted. »Everything is my fault.«

»Ed … What your father did tonight-«

»No!« He groaned slurring his words. »I mean Oswald!« Maybe it was the drugs. He would clearly blame his outburst on the drugs later. »I fucked up big time, Miss Mooney! I lost him forever and he will never be my friend again!«

He had already whined to her about everything that had happened throughout the last few hours under the influence of the drugs he had gotten so that he wouldn't need to feel how the doctor had patched him up. He felt a little like Frankenstein’s monster at this point. Sadly, he would never find a bride suitable for a freak like him.

To his surprise, Fish put a hand on the back of his neck and brushed her long manicured nails through his curls. »It's going to be okay, Ed.« She promised with a smile. »When we get home you’ll go straight to bed and tomorrow you’ll stay home and relax a little. Oswald will come around eventually, Darling.«

He wanted to believe her. Desperately so. Perhaps she was right! She probably was right! She possessed a sense of wisdom that had yet to be matched by anyone Edward knew! Truth be told, all he could think of at this moment was to get into a warm bed and just sleep forever. However, until they arrived at Fish’s house, he didn't even quite make the connection that he would be sleeping in Oswald’s bed. Only when Fish parked her car in front of the house, the realization truly struck him that he would be sleeping in Oswald’s old room, in Oswald’s old bed.

There was light on in the living room. He could see it through the window facing the street. Butch was still up and probably waiting for Fish to return. It had been quite the surprise and shock for Butch too as Edward had come to their house this evening and it had probably been Butch who had been forced to clean up behind Ed. Surely, the other boy only hated him more now. He couldn't blame him. He would be pissed too if he would be Butch Gilzean tonight, forced to clean up the puke of some guy he went to school with and didn't particularly like to begin with.

Fish was nice enough to actually help him up the stairs to the front door after she looped her arm around his waist and had him lean a little on her for support. »Come on, you big baby.« She smirked as they were walking through the door and into the dimly lit hallway. Inside the house, it was much warmer than outside in the cutting cold air of these early November nights. »Time to get you to bed, huh?«

There were voices coming from the living room and first he was sure that it was just the TV running but after Fish had let go of him to close the door, he started to grow aware of the fact that he knew both sets of voices and that one of the two people in the living room was barely managing to get out words between sobs.

He knew who was with Butch in the living room, even before Fish had walked up to the living room door and said the name. »Oswald!« She gasped in surprise. »What are you doing here, Little Bird?«

Ed was quick to follow her to the door to the living room at those words of course. Hell, he couldn't deny how much he had missed Oswald since Friday. He missed talking to him. He missed listening to him. He missed seeing his expressive face. Perhaps it was just the morphine making him think all these silly things. Still, he could not hold himself back as he followed Fish into the living room just as the woman pulled Oswald into her arms. In fact, he wished to push her out of the way and pull Oswald into his own embrace, maybe smother him with kisses. Perhaps it was for the better that Fish had been quicker. He didn't wish to ruin things between him and Oswald even more than they already were - if that was possible.

»Darling, what happened? What's wrong?« She cooed and all Ed got to see of Oswald was his mob of messy black hair against her shoulder as he sniffed loudly and then quickly pulled away to wipe away the tears on his face. He was just about to say something as Oswald’s eyes caught sight of Edward behind Fish and, in a moment of utter awkwardness, Ed just waved at him with his left hand nonchalantly and a dopey grin plastered on his black and blue face.

Forgotten seemed whatever horror the younger boy had experienced tonight as he pulled away from Fish completely only to stumble over to Ed. He couldn't deny that his heart jumped a little at this sight and how big Oswald’s eyes suddenly seemed in worry.

»Ed!« He gasped already clutching the lapels of his green cardigan. Only as he followed his hands with his eyes did Edward realize that his favorite cardigan was soiled with the blood from his nose or his mouth. Huh. »What happened? What- Who did this to you?«

Truth be told, he had never seen his best friend this worried for anyone before. The way Oswald was taking in every little injury he could see on Edward’s face, how carefully he brushed the tips of his long fingers over his jaw right underneath one especially nasty bruise … He knew that it was the morphine speaking but he desperately wanted to kiss him. He did not, though. It wouldn't be right. Oswald clearly didn't want any of this. His heart belonged only to James Gordon. Hell, he and James were probably already an item and the only reason why he hadn't heard anything about it in school today was that they kept it under wraps for now.

Jim didn't even know how lucky he was.

»My dad happened.« Edward finally replied with a small shrug that was supposed to look nonchalant and casual. Needless to say, it didn't work. »He … Isabella talked to him, apparently. She told him that I left her for you.«

Oswald’s cheeks had been burning red before from crying but they seemed even redder now. God, he wanted to reach out and touch him, brush his fingers over his cheeks or through his hair. He couldn't do that though. Not long ago they had held hands, they had hugged and leaned into each other for comfort, they had been close and comfortable with this closeness. Now it seemed impossible to ever touch Oswald again.

»He did this to you?« Oswald mumbled a little more timid than usual as he reached out to Ed again and then quickly retreated to take a step back as it seemed to have registered in his brain just how close they had been standing together just now. »That bitch … I am going to rip her head off!« The tenderness and worry on his were gone very suddenly and replaced by an expression of pure and utter fury.

»No, you’re not, angry bird.« Edward found himself replying with a small smirk. Forgotten seemed everything that had happened during the party. Forgotten seemed how Oswald had been avoiding him since last Friday. They were back to where they had been right before that party. Just him and Oswald against the rest of the world and he wanted it to stay like this. He didn't want anything to change about this - not if change would mean that he would lose him again. »Everything is fine.«

»Nothing is fine! Look at your face!«

»Okay, boys!« Fish reminded them of her presence suddenly. »How about we postpone this discussion and murder plans to tomorrow. It's gotten late and I think we can all use a little sleep. Butch, would you be a dear and set up the camp bed in Oswald’s old room? I am going to make a phone call to Mr. van Dahl and tell him that his wayward son is safe and sound for the night. We can talk about everything tomorrow.«

»Ed is not going to sleep on that camp bed!« Oswald quickly huffed and gestured at Ed’s right arm. »He gets the bed, I take the camp bed.«

There was no point in arguing with him - at least not at this very moment. Maybe he would be able to convince Oswald later that he would be fine sleeping on the camp bed. It was a lot more likely, though, that this was not going to happen. Oswald was not just merely stubborn, after all. He was sometimes downright infuriating. Fish was right, of course. It had been a long day and Edward was loopy and needed to sleep, even though he wanted to know what happened to Oswald. Tomorrow they would have all the time they needed to talk.

Not even half an hour later, Ed found himself resting on his back in Oswald’s old bed in a shirt and sweatpants given to him by Butch. It was dark after Oswald had gotten comfortable on his makeshift bed with some twisting and turning and then allowed Ed to switch off the light. Only then as they were lying in their beds in the darkness like this the awkwardness started to settle back in on them. Despite his tiredness and the drugs in his system, there was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to ask the younger boy but he didn't know how to begin or if he should ask him at all. Maybe he should just rather not talk at all for once and just let him be.

»I’m sorry for ignoring you.« Oswald’s voice sounded small in the darkness of the room. »Sorry that I … That I yelled at you at that party. That was … uncalled for. It wasn't cool. I made a huge deal out of it and I’m … I’m sorry.«

»I’m sorry too.« Edward replied after a small moment of hesitation. He wanted to roll onto his right side but that was not an option at the moment. »For kissing you like this … I mean … Did you fix things with Jim? I hope he didn't get the wrong idea…«

»Jim is dating Lee Thompkins.« Oswald sighed. »For a few weeks already.« He added with a scoff. »I should have known that I was never going to have a chance with him, huh? I mean … A guy like Jim … what was I thinking?«

»Don't say that.« He murmured into the darkness. »Jim would be lucky to have you.« Maybe he shouldn't have said this. The awkwardness settled back in on them full force after he had said these words. »What happened? Why did you run away from home?«

There was silence for a while as the only sounds he heard came from how Oswald was shifting on his bed uncomfortably. »It was … Grace.« He then started quietly. »She … She heard how I talked to Charles earlier … You know … I never needed to actually do the … coming out thing before. Everyone just knew I was gay and that was alright with me. My mom never asked, we never talked about it. Sure, I had people talking shit and being mean assholes to me. That's all not new. But … I didn't expect how Grace would treat me. I didn't expect someone from my own family to be this … cruel to me.«

They had both had shitty days as it seemed and he desperately wanted to make it better for him. It was one thing to be beaten by one’s dad and another thing entirely when one’s family would not accept you for who you are deep down inside. All Oswald wanted was to be accepted and loved by his family and now he was waking up from that sweet dream he had been allowed to dream throughout the last couple of weeks.  

»I’m sorry, Ozzie.« He whispered into the darkness of the room. Not too long ago he had been spending the night here and everything had felt nice and homey and since then so much had happened and so little of it had been truly good. »You deserve better than this.«

There was a scoff coming from the other boy. »Look who’s talking.« Silence hit them once again and just as Edward decided to close his eyes and started to drift off to sleep, there was movement in the room again. He could hear how Oswald threw the covers off of him and got up from the bed. For a moment, he was certain the little bird would leave him here. Instead, his shuffling steps came closer to the bed and before he knew what was happening, the mattress was dipping under Oswald’s weight. He shuffled closer to the wall on instinct to make room for his friend, his heart beating quicker than it had any right to as he felt how Oswald lay down next to him. Ed barely noticed that Oswald had brought his pillow and blanket over to get comfortable beside Ed as if they had done something like this a million times before.

He felt his breath hitch in his throat and was suddenly completely unable to even breathe. Oswald’s bed was not that big, barely big enough for them both to fit in without the need for cuddling. Still, they were so close together that he could feel every shift, hear Oswald’s breathing, smell the shower gel he liked to use and the scent of his shampoo. He had never been so close to anyone in his life - not even Isabella.

He opened his mouth to say something, even though he didn't know what he wanted to say to Oswald’s odd behavior. Was there anything he could really say now? Probably he would only ruin the moment would he say something. Hell, all he wanted to do was close his arms around Oswald and never let go.

»Sleep.« Oswald muttered quietly beside him and he could feel his breath ghost over his right cheek. »It's been a long day.«

 

**-End of Chapter 16-**


	17. Chapter 17

The room was still plunged in darkness as he found himself staring at Edward in the bed next to him. He was resting on his left side, his arm in the sling uselessly draped over his chest. The bed was narrow and barely held enough room for two adolescent boys. They were so close that he could feel Ed’s breath on his face as he too was resting on his side. In the semi-darkness of the room, he could see his face just inches away from his own and everytime a car would drive by outside on the street, the light of the headlights would allow Oswald a closer look on the bruises on Ed’s face. He only felt rage looking at them. Rage towards the man who had inflicted them on Ed and towards that girl who was so desperate for Ed’s attention that she was willing to hurt him like this.

Isabella had known how Ed’s father would react, hadn't she? She had wanted this. She had planned this. And why? Only because Ed didn't want her? Or did she really think Ed might have left her for Oswald? He didn't quite know why but the thought caused his stomach to make a somersault. Perhaps it was just the ludicrous idea that someone as gorgeous as Edward Nygma could not only want someone like him but would even be willing to leave his girlfriend for him. He knew, of course, that Ed had not left Isabella for him but for her sister and yet Ed had kissed him. And this time it had not been mouth-to-mouth or someone forcing their mouths together. It had been a real kiss and Oswald still couldn't wrap his mind around it.

Lying here like this with Edward in the save embrace of darkness, unable to find sleep, he had time to think about it and yet he could not form a coherent thought at all. What was he supposed to do now? Grace was disgusted by him and if she would tell his father what she knew about his son … His father wouldn't want to have anything to do with him either, he supposed. Maybe it would be better if he would never return to the mansion. And why would he? He was almost seventeen. He didn't need them. He could take care of himself. Yet, the thought hurt, as did the memories of the things Grace had said to him. She had been so repulsed by the idea of housing a gay man, so repulsed by the idea that Oswald could love another man like this. Perhaps she had even been afraid that he would do anything to his younger brother. This thought alone was angering him.

And then there was the situation with Jim and Lee. No, there was no situation, was there? They were together. Plain and simple. Jim was not gay and he had never been flirting with Oswald, to begin with. He had misread all the signs and had behaved like a complete and utter fool while Jim had just wanted to be nice. How stupid of him...

Ed on the other hand … Ed had never tried to be nice just for the sake of it. They would sometimes argue about the most ridiculous things and from the beginning, Oswald had been allowed to just be himself when he was with him. No masks, no stilted mannerisms. From the moment it began, their friendship had been built on honesty. It was raw and natural and had felt right and yet Ed had kissed him and now he didn't know what to do or what to think. He wanted to talk to Fish about it but it was the middle of the night.

Here he was now, confused and staring at Edward Nygma's face in the darkness, his mouth slightly open while he slept. The only reason why he slept was probably that he was full of drugs. Certainly, he would experience a great deal of pain later and that idea was just horrible to Oswald. He didn't like the thought of Edward being in pain for any reason.

Under the cover of darkness, he found himself reaching out for Ed’s face, brushing his fingers carefully over his jaw and lingering on his right cheek for a moment. Just a moment. In the end, he didn't quite know what made him do it but nevertheless, he found himself craning his neck to brush his lips over Ed’s. It was a test, perhaps. Maybe he just wanted to see how it would feel in a quiet moment like this, with less excitement around him to spook him. Kissing Ed actually felt quite nice even though the other boy was asleep. His lips were soft against Oswald’s, warm, and the sensation caused tingles to run down his spine without warning. He pulled away with a little gasp, surprised and perhaps even a little horrified by his own boldness, and as he did, he realized that Ed’s eyes were wide open and staring back at him. He did not look like a man who had been asleep until just this moment.

Oh, this bastard.

»You were awake!« He accused in a hushed whisper. »You ass!«

»Hush.« Edward murmured and before he knew it, Ed had captured his lips again. He found himself melting into the kiss and his hand snaking into Ed’s soft curls. Had they ever been this soft? How had he never touched his hair before? His action drew a soft sigh from Ed’s throat so he continued to drive his fingers through Ed’s hair and Ed seemed all too willing to repay him in the same way as he brought his left hand up to the back of Oswald’s neck.

He had never expected something like this to feel so good. This simple touch had no right to feel so good. The kiss was slow and lazy. Oswald might not have any experience in this field but Edward clearly had. He might not have slept with Isabella, but at least she had allowed to kiss him as it seemed. At least one thing Oswald had to thank her for as he was now reaping the reward. Only when he ran out of oxygen he pulled away to catch his breath. Ed’s breath was as hot as the air above a flame on his face. For what seemed like an eternity, Oswald just stared at him blankly and utterly unable to find words for this situation. Ed did not seem to have the same problem.

»I love you.«

It was the first time that he ever got to hear those words from someone who was not part of his family and the sound alone made his heart stop. Suddenly, he didn't know how to speak anymore and he wouldn't know what to say anyway. So, instead of saying something, he kissed Ed again, pulling him closer. He didn't know if this was answer enough for Ed or if he was a little disappointed perhaps, but until he had it all figured out for himself, this was the only answer Ed would get.

※※※※※※※

The streets of central Gotham were always busy. Outside the large windows of the coffee shop at the corner of Grundy Street, people were running up and down hastily with their briefcases or handbags clutched tightly to their sides, holding umbrellas against the sharp wind and the heavy rain that was washing Gotham clean. Early November had hit Gotham with the usual storms and heavy rainfalls and Oswald loved it. He wasn’t much of a fan of hot weather, anyway. Plus, his birthday was at the end of the month. One year older, one year closer to starting a completely new life and find himself a completely new identity outside of school.

Outside the sky was of a steel grey color, the clouds heavy with rain and cars were splashing through puddles on the road with no regard for the pedestrians that might get hit by the water from those puddles.

They didn't go to school this Tuesday. In fact, Ed had slept until noon because of the drugs in his system and Oswald had actually enjoyed to sleep in on this day too. Unlike Ed, he was not much of an early bird. Fish had allowed him to stay home with Ed while she was out doing her things after all the stress of the last day. It was a much welcome break, actually. So much had happened in the past couple of weeks and his brain had still not caught up with it all as it sometimes seemed to Oswald.

»Tell me if you’re in too much pain.« Oswald frowned as he sat back down at the table they had chosen in the small coffee shop close by one window that allowed Oswald a look at the rainy street outside. Ed had chosen to sit with his back to the window. Edward was a watcher. He liked watching people. That was not new to Oswald. And the hustle and bustle of the coffee shop gave more than enough opportunity to watch people of all kinds. In one corner a bunch of people with laptops was occupying a set of tables typing away relentlessly. Failed novelists or students abusing the power of the free WiFi? A group of girls in their mid-twenties had taken up the two comfortable looking green couches on the other side of the room and more than enough people were walking in and out with their to-go cups, barking orders at the barista over the noise of the coffee machines and the general chatter all around. It was a lively place and completely opposed to the more quiet world of a diner.

It had been Oswald’s idea to leave the house in the early hours of the afternoon after Edward had finally risen from his beauty sleep. Doing something normal people would do, like having a coffee together, had seemed like a perfectly sound idea in the privacy of his own head. Now out in the open like this and under the scrutiny of daylight, he wasn't so sure anymore if it had been a good idea. It looked suspiciously as if they were out on a date.

»I’m okay.« Ed tried himself at a lopsided little smile.

It was oddly uncomfortable to sit like this with Edward here in this noise and busy coffee-shop. It was a little awkward too. Much more awkward than it had any right to be, at the very least. After all, he and Edward were good friends and it had never been strange to be alone with his best friend. Of course, they had not talked much about last night's events - namely, the kiss or what Ed had said to him. In fact, Oswald didn't even know if there was really any need to talk about it too much. Maybe there was nothing left to say between them.

A touch to his left hand ripped him from his thoughts and as he looked at it, he found Ed’s only free hand sitting on top of his. He was deliberately slow to peel his eyes away from their hands and lift his gaze up to Ed’s face to find him smiling back at him. His poor face was swollen and littered in bruises and yet he could smile.

»I think you have enough sugar.« Ed smirked and only as he said it did Oswald realize that he had been shoveling spoons full of sugar into his tea. He was not a fan of coffee. Ed, on the other hand, was. He liked the smell that came from the steaming hot cup of black coffee in front of his friend. His cheeks were burning a bit more than they had any right to as he put down the sugar carefully like a loaded gun. »Tell me what's on your mind.«

»You know … When you hold my hand like this, people will think that I am an abusive boyfriend. They will think ‘Oh, he might be small but he is probably a rage-filled little lunatic’.«  

Ed actually laughed at this only to be rewarded by a sharp pang of pain from his bruised jaw by the looks of it. »Well, you _are_ a rage-filled little lunatic. But you are not abusive.«

»Am I though?«

»What?«

»Your boyfriend.«

»If you want to be … yes.«

For the longest moment, they just stared at each other and though it was hard to see under the discoloring of his face, Oswald was pretty sure that he had seen Ed blush as well. Ed still held onto his hand but maybe he was holding on a little tighter than before. Was he afraid Oswald would pull away and perhaps get cold feet? Could he really think Oswald would do that? Then again, he had not given Edward much reason to believe something else, had he?

»I want to, yes.« His answer was a lot timider than he wished it to sound but it was worth the smile that shortly spread over Ed’s face. Boyfriend … How strange that sounded. Sure, it was exactly what he had wanted to achieve to be called - just not by Ed. Although it sounded strange to his ears, it did not sound particularly wrong. In fact, his heart was doing a little jump in his narrow chest.

»It's a deal then.« Edward hummed in response. »And since you are my boyfriend … I should introduce you to your duties, I guess.«

»Duties?« He echoed with one sharply raised eyebrow.

»One of them would be to help me eat this cake. I am useless with my left hand.« He was dumbfounded at first but then Ed’s words pried a smirk from his lips before he retracted his hand slowly to grab the fork that was lying on the plate in front of Edward and cut off a small bite of the chocolate cake on it.

»That I can do.« After all, he was not completely innocent in this situation, right? Had he not been so close to Ed, Isabella might have never talked to Ed’s father about them. It was a silly little thought. He knew that. He knew that he wasn't at fault for all of this, after all, Ed had not broken up with Isabella because of him but because of her own twin sister. Still, he felt responsible as he looked at Ed’s face now. At the very least he wanted to help him and make up for it. »However, as a good boyfriend, I should not enable your dependency on other people like this. You need to learn how to live with your disability, Ed.« He laughed as he ate the bite of cake himself instead of feeding Edward with it.

»You are the devil.« Ed smirked and as Oswald tried to steal another bite, he quickly caught his wrist and pulled the hand with the fork to his own mouth. Oswald wanted to say something witty in return but as he caught a glimpse of something behind Edward, the remark died on his tongue. He saw it through the window of the coffee shop and was not certain what he was seeing for a moment. In fact, it took him almost a whole minute before he recognized his stepmother outside on the sidewalk standing under a large black umbrella with a man. First, there would be nothing special about this fact at all but then he realized a few things at the very same time.

First of all, his stepmother was not the type to run around in central Gotham, to begin with. She did not often leave the house - only for shopping trips at Gotham’s most expensive boutiques or to deal with business in some way shape or form. Secondly, the man she was with was clearly not his father. He was a dark-haired tall man - much taller than his father - in a simple suit and with a briefcase clutched tightly to his left side. Thirdly, the way she looked at the other man told him that this was not just an acquaintance and just as he came to that conclusion he could see how she actually leaned up to kiss the stranger.

A gasp tore from his throat at the sight.

»What's wrong?« Ed quickly asked and as he wanted to follow Oswald’s eyes and started to turn his head, Oswald quickly put his free hand on Ed’s cheek to keep him from doing so.

»Grace.« He whispered as if she might hear him through the window if he would speak any louder than this. »Don't look!« He urged again as Ed tried to look over his shoulder once more. »She’s with some dude.«

»So?«

»She kissed him!«

Oswald couldn't look away. For the longest moment, he could just stare at those two outside - unable to blink or really grasp what he was seeing. Grace was cheating on his father. That was, now, a fact. He doubted that Grace van Dahl would just kiss some random stranger like this in the middle of the street on such a rainy day. No. She was having an affair and Oswald’s blood was boiling.

He knew that his face was red with fury before he actually felt the anger boiling in his guts. Grace was betraying his father and if that wasn't bad enough already, she had had the audacity to claim the moral high ground as she had found out about his sexuality.

Suddenly, he felt as if he could see Grace clearly for the very first time and perhaps he really did see her real face for the very first time now. She had been so nice and loving towards him. Too loving and nice, perhaps. Until not, he had not thought too much about it but now he started to realize that her behavior towards him might have been fake the entire time. Had she been waiting for something to happen so she would have an excuse to convince her husband to get rid of his own son again? In front of his father, she did not want to appear like the evil stepmother, after all, right?

With running away from home, he had played right into her cards. She had wanted to scare him off! Oh, how stupid of him! Of course, it had been too good to be true! She had played him! She had seen a lonely, orphaned boy and it had been oh so very easy to trick him!

But now he knew something she didn't.

»Fuck.« Ed murmured. »What do you want to do now?«

They were plotting again. Just like this, Ed was ready to plot again with him and this time it was not about getting someone else to fall in love with one of them. They were a team, still - or perhaps more than ever now.

»I don't know yet.« He mumbled. A part of him wanted to call his father and tell him right away but that would be stupid without evidence, was it? Who would he believe? His son who had just run away from him or his wife whom he knew and loved for seventeen years? Grace had had ample time to tell lies about him to his father. He was not naive about that. »I need a plan.«

He was surprised as he felt how Ed caught his hand again only to press a kiss to his knuckles. »We need a plan. I would do anything for you.«

※※※※※※※

Ed hated nothing more than to see Oswald upset - and upset his boyfriend was. _Boyfriend_. That sounded still so alien to him. Not because he had a boyfriend and not a girlfriend - hell, he couldn't care less about silly things as this. So what he was bisexual? This was Gotham, after all. No one cared about stuff like this in Gotham! Still, the reality had not quite registered in his brain. Oswald was his boyfriend. He had chosen Edward in the end. He had won against none other than James Worthington Gordon. He couldn't be any happier.

Yet, his boyfriend was upset and if there was anything Ed had sworn to himself in these past twenty-four hours, it was that he would do anything in his power to be the best boyfriend Oswald could ever hope to have.  Even if being the best boyfriend would entail shoveling a grave for Grace van Dahl - no matter if figuratively or literally.

»That huge, massive, humongous bitch!« Oswald huffed. »I should have known that she was going to trick me into leaving! Dad said that she wants me to go to some private school and she claimed that there they would heal me from my _urges_. I should have known!«

He looked like an angry little bird, all ruffled feathers and flapping his wings as he was walking up and down the living room behind the comfortable sofa. At least they were still alone in the house. Fish was out meeting friends of her’s and Butch was probably with Tabitha, complaining to her about how he had needed to clean up Ed’s mess. Well, he couldn't quite blame him, he assumed. It had not been pretty, after all.

»Calm down, Oz.« He hummed even though he was slowly losing his patience. No matter how funny it might look under different circumstances, right now, Oswald’s agitation started to annoy him. Getting mad would not help either one of them, after all. »Come, sit down and let's talk about what you want to do.«

Oswald seemed reluctant to do even that as he finally walked over to the sofa in Fish Mooney’s living room to sit down next to Edward. He felt very thankful that Fish allowed him to stay and was not demanding that Edward would go to the police. They had talked about what had happened and how he wanted to proceed from now on a little earlier before Oswald and Ed had left the house to go for coffee but she was not going to pressure him. He should go to the police, though, he assumed. Then again, he was almost eighteen. He only needed a few more months and then he and his father would go their separate ways forever. Ed would leave for college and then … Yes, what? Would he come home every weekend to spend time with Oswald? Have a normal life? It sounded strange.

»I want to make her pay.« Oswald’s answer did not really surprise him. »And I want to prove to my father that she is cheating on him.«

»How?«

»We need to find out who that guy is.«

»Do you want to follow her around town?«

»No, of course not.« Oswald huffed with a small roll of his blue eyes. »I need to go home. Perhaps I can find out something in her stuff. Surely, she has his number saved in her phone.«

He didn't like the thought of Oswald returning to his home and to his family. It would mean that he could not be with him 24/7, of course. Well, perhaps this was for the best. He could only assume that being together the entire time might not be the healthiest thing in a blossoming relationship like theirs. He was still a bit afraid that this new situation they were in would spook Oswald.

»If I find enough evidence of her infidelity, I might be able to convince my father that I don't need to switch schools too.«

»All of this is fine and dandy, Oz, but we need to figure out why she would want to get rid of you too. I mean, why would she have wanted you to run away from home?«

»I don't know.« He admitted quietly. »Perhaps … she thought that if she would be cruel to me, I would run away - which I did - and that I might not be willing to come home again. Or she wanted to use the time that I wasn't home to make my father turn against me. Maybe it's because of money.«

»It's the oldest motivation in the book when you want to get rid of someone. Be it a spouse or some unwanted child. After all, your father is not in good health and you, as his firstborn son, would clearly be included in his last will if he is changing it soon. He might even put you before Sasha, Charles, and Grace.« Edward agreed.

»Maybe she wants to convince my father to not include me in his will then.« It was a possible explanation, of course, albeit it a little far-fetched, perhaps. Then again, was it this far-fetched? »That way she would make sure that my father's money would benefit only her and her children. Then again, she is from a wealthy family and not in need of my father's money, I would assume.«

»Then we should add this to the list of things we have to illuminate.«

»We should.« He could see it on Oswald’s face that there was something else that his boyfriend was thinking about but perhaps he was not yet ready to convey his ideas to him. »And you, Ed, need to stay here with Fish.«

Oswald’s words and sudden change of topic took him by surprise, so much in fact, that he was almost certain he would get whiplash from it. »What do you mean?«

»I mean … that I don't want you to ever return to your father’s house.« His face was serious again, perhaps even more so than before as if somehow Ed’s safety was more important to him than the van Dahl mystery they needed to uncover.

»I need to pack up my stuff, though.«

»Then we go together and we take Butch - I don't know how to drive. But I will not allow you to stay one more day at this house.«

»You won't _allow_ me?« Ed smirked despite the pain in his jaw as he did. »I like it when you are so commanding.«

»Oh, shush you.« Oswald huffed with an amused little smile but Ed still reached out to pull him into a small kiss. Oswald was honestly worried about him. He wanted him safe and happy and after all this time with Isabella, he wasn't used to someone actually caring about his well-being. Oswald was not the strongest person when it came to the physical aspect but Oswald was fierce and he knew that his boyfriend possessed the courage - others would call it _balls_ \- to actually walk up to Ed’s father to punch him in the face. To Oswald, it would probably not even matter that much if something like this would land him in the hospital right away.  

»I still can't believe that Isabella would do such a thing.« Oswald mumbled so close to his mouth that Ed could feel the movement against his own lips. »Why would anyone do that to another person they claim to love?«

»At least she’ll be gone by the end of this week.« It was maybe little comfort but it was all they would get now. Isabella would leave for Italy soon and then they wouldn't need to think about her or her shenanigans for quite some time. »She is not … a bad person either. I refuse to believe that she is all bad.«

»I do.« Oswald huffed.

»Well, perhaps this time abroad will do her some good. Maybe she’ll be able to see the error in her ways and regret what she has told my father.« Edward was not naive by any means. He was not the type of guy who always saw the good in people no matter what they did. No, he could recognize Isabella’s awful behavior and he knew that it was inexcusable but then there was Ed himself who had just started dating her to get closer to her sister. She was not the villain in this story. Perhaps he was. Perhaps neither of them were. Life was just not this black and white, he supposed.

»And if that's not the case?«

»Then she is just as rotten as Grace is.« Oswald smiled at his unforgiving words but he could see that there was something else that was bothering him.

»My father will ask me what happened and why I ran away … Perhaps Grace has already told him that I am gay. I don't know … What if he feels the same way as she does? What if he too will not accept me as I am? Perhaps he’s glad that I left if he knows. Until now, I didn't need to worry about such things. Not really, at least. But now since what Grace said to me … I am afraid.«

»I understand.« He tried his most reassuring smile but Ed was certain that he looked as if he was having a stroke instead. Of course, he knew how Oswald felt. He had just experienced the worst case scenario when it came to coming out to one’s parents, after all. Yet, he had met Elijah van Dahl and he didn't think that he was the type of person who would be upset with his son for such an unimportant thing as his sexuality. Then again, Elijah was a blue-blooded snob just like his wife and his two other children. Perhaps he would be more worried about what the high society of Gotham would think about him and his gay son would it come out. He didn't want to believe that Elijah was one of those people and yet, Elijah didn't know Oswald for so long yet and his relationship with his first born son was much weaker than that to his other two children or his wife. Oswald was walking on thin ice.

»Still, I think you need to be honest to your father. Tell him what's on your mind and if he then decides that he doesn't want you anymore, at least you know what kind of person he is.«

»I don't want to lose him, though.«

»I know.« He sighed as he gently cupped his face with his left hand. »I know, Ozzie. And I wished that I could tell you that he will not react negatively but I can't lie to you. At least I can promise you that your father will probably not beat you up like my dad did, right? And even if he rejects you … You can still prove to him that his wife cheats on him.«

※※※※※※※

There had been a car waiting for him the next day after school. The previous night his father had called him and asked him to come home and so, with a little bit of reluctance, that was what Oswald had done. Of course, all he had wanted to do was to take Edward with him but he knew that he needed to deal with this by himself. He knew that he couldn't take Ed with him to hold his hand through all of this. Weird, how dependent he had become of Ed in so short a time. He didn't want to say that he loved Ed, though. Love was such a strong word but perhaps he should not dismiss the idea so quickly either.

As he got out of the car and walked up to the front door of the mansion, his feet felt heavy and the path much longer than it had any right to be. It was a typically grey day in early November in Gotham. Falling leaves were piling up all around the perimeter on the lush grass surrounding the estate and in the distance, Oswald could make out the vague shape of their gardener Henry taking care of the falling leaves with the patience of a monk. He didn't even want to enter the house as the butler opened the door for him. Stepping over the threshold felt almost impossible. Of course, he knew what would be waiting for him inside and though he also knew that Grace was not home to spew her poison, confronting his father would be hard enough on its own already.

And yet, despite his flight from this grand mansion and his ungrateful behavior towards his father, as he stepped into the parlor and found his father sitting in one of the comfortable armchairs, he was welcomed back home with a warm smile and gently sparkling eyes.

»Oswald.« His father smiled as he rose from his seat at once. He looked pale in the dim light of the room. As always a nice little fire was crackling in the stone fireplace and the smell of citrus cleaning agent was lingering in the air. »Welcome home, Son. I am so glad that you decided to return to your family.«

There was so much love, so much tenderness, so much warmth in his voice. To Oswald, it was incredible to realize that his father truly seemed to love him, despite it all. Surely, Grace had already told him all about the reason why Oswald left. She had probably spun the story in her favor, though. What would he tell his father? Perhaps first Oswald needed to get his father to instead tell him what wicked tales Grace had spun in his absence.

»I am sorry, Father … For running away.« He murmured as he lowered his gaze a little. His father though kept his smile as he gestured for Oswald to sit down on the other armchair in front of the old fireplace. Oswald followed the invitation and sat down quietly with his father once again, the situation by now familiar and comforting.

»You had us all worried.« His father scolded but there was still this friendly little twinkle in his eyes as if he could not honestly be angry with his son. »Your stepmother hardly slept ever since you ran away. She rested a little easier after Miss Mooney called to tell us that you are with her, though.«

»I’m sorry.« He repeated but his father chuckled lowly as if this was all just a bit of a joke for him.

»We all make mistakes, Son. The important thing is, that you are back now and can tell me what made you leave in the first place. Grace told me she spoke with you in that night and that you seemed upset about something.«

She hadn't told him. Did his father know that he was gay? Had she told him?

»I was upset because … Because Fish called me and told me that Edward was hurt.« He lied just to test the waters.

»Edward.« His father nodded calmly and was silent for a second before he looked him directly in the eyes again. »Your boyfriend?« He felt as if his father pulled the rug from under him but as he gasped and looked at him in surprise, his father's smile only grew a little.

»You … What?«

»It was quite obvious, Oswald.« His father chuckled but the fondness never seemed to leave his eyes. »The way you behaved around Edward as he was over for dinner a little while ago.«

»You knew that I’m…«

»Gay?« His father interrupted his stammering. »Of course.«

»And you … Aren't you mad?« He found himself almost whispering his most pressing question. That his father so openly addressed the issue of his sexuality surprised him. He had not expected someone like his father to talk about such things with him. His father, much like other very wealthy people, seemed to be above such trivialities. Sex was something that wasn’t talked about in the high society. He knew that.  

»Mad?« His father echoed. »Why would I be mad? You are my son, Oswald. I don't care if you are gay or straight or whatever you wish to be. To me, the most important thing is that you are happy and if Edward makes you happy then I will gladly accept that.«

He was speechless and probably gaping like a little goldfish as he was unable to find words for this situation. Perhaps he had not expected his father to fly into a rage, simply because his father was not the type to become this angry. Yet, he had not quite expected such a calm discussion about his sexuality either. Maybe he had thought his father would outright avoid talking about it, finding other words for it and then never bring it up again like a shameful little family secret.

»Oswald, I learned a lot from my mistakes in the past. I know that I should have never let your mother go eighteen years ago. I should have fought for her and not care what my parents wanted and expected of me. I should have run away with her if I couldn't have gotten my parents to change their minds. Anyway … I what I learned from this mistake is that I am never going to force my own children to do anything they don't want to do. I promised myself, even before I knew about you, that I would do everything in my power to see my kids happy.«

If this would be a movie, Oswald thought, they would be crying and hugging it all out. However, since this was not a movie and they real people, they just sat there in front of the fireplace. His father allowed him to let the words sink in and gave Oswald the opportunity to find his peace with his father’s stance on the matter. In reality, though, Oswald knew that he had just won a part of his war against Grace. From now on, he would not hold back anymore.

 

**-End of Chapter 17-**


	18. Chapter 18

On this evening, the usual family dinner was a little more awkward than most times. Grace was hiding the fact that she was royally pissed off by his return quite well with sweet smiles and kind remarks to which Oswald responded with kind remarks and sweet smiles of his own. They were at war with each other and only they knew it. To his father and his siblings, they appeared to get along just fine, as they had before Oswald had run away. It was somewhat thrilling to know this. Each word was like firing an arrow and the people around them didn't even realize that they were on a battlefield. The benefit of fighting a war of which no one else knew was that there were no rules and that allowed Oswald to fight dirty. Of course, the same was true for Grace as well.

»I am so glad that you came back.« Charles smiled at him a little while later as they sat in front of the TV in the living room. He had just finished a short message to Edward on his phone, telling him how awkward the situation was, only to get an ‘ _I miss you_ ’ in return. He couldn't help but blush as he read the message and stared at the phone. So, in other words, Charles’ words took him by surprise and forced him to look up from his phone to stare at his younger brother in bewilderment. They were alone for now but it was surely only a matter of time until Sasha would steal the remote and claim her throne to watch one of that god-awful reality TV shows.

»You are?«

»Of course!« Charles replied quickly and his face seemed honest enough. Charles was, as far as Oswald would be able to tell, a bad liar. »I was worried you wouldn't come home. I thought we did something that made you want to go back to this Miss Mooney-Lady. I know, Mum and Sasha can both be a handful at times.«

»What do you mean?«

»Well … I should've told you … I’m really sorry that I didn't. Mum talked to me last Monday, she overheard us talking and told me to stay away from you because you are gay. She is a bit old-fashioned in this regard. I can only assume what she told you that evening when she walked up to your room. Sorry that I didn't warn you…«

»It's not your fault.« Oswald sighed perhaps even out of reflex if nothing else. Of course, it was not his fault but yes, Charles should have told him. This way, he would have been prepared at the very least. Then again, Charles was just a kid. He couldn't blame his little brother for something his mother did, right? »And it's alright.« He added. »She didn't attack me or anything … I was just missing Fish and Ed got hurt that night and  I … I just had to leave for a bit.«

Telling the truth to his brother or his father would have been easy, of course. Still, it seemed wrong to him to burden Charles with the true nature of Grace’s visit to him on Monday. Keeping his mouth shut about all of this seemed much easier.

»Anyway, I am really glad that you came back.« Charles patted his shoulder. »I lived long enough being Sasha’s slave and I am so glad that I have you now to help me against her and mum.«

That actually prompted Oswald to smile a little. He knew that Charles and Sasha didn't get along so well. Then again, they were teenagers. Sasha was almost sixteen years old and in her pubescent prime as a local mean girl and Charles following suit. »Has it really been that bad before?«

»Oh, you have no idea!« Charles groaned. »I mean … Sasha is like a miniature version of mum, always doing what she is doing, walking around like a princess, ordering people around, parroting what mum’s saying. She’s always been like this but it only gets worse, I think. Dad doesn't stand a chance against them. I mean, dad is a wonderful guy, but you know how he is, right? He is a bit naive sometimes and he only wants to keep the peace and for us to be one big happy family. He is so dead set on making everyone happy that he just gives in all the time when Sasha or mum want something. He is inclined to believe every little lie of them. And hell, they are good at manipulating him.«

»Is that so?«

»Yes!« He huffed. »I mean did you know that Sasha is currently dating three different guys who are buying her expensive things while dad thinks she is out studying with her friends or volunteering at the homeless shelter? Let me tell you a secret, Oswald. The homeless shelter is named Christopher and the library is Thomas. Not to mention her cheerleader practice Jacob.«

Though he had not expected to hear something like this about his little sister, he couldn't really say that he would be surprised. If Sasha was looking at her mother for guidance and he knew now that Grace was having an affair … Well, no wonder Sasha was like this, right? She was living by example.

»Wow.« That was the only thing he could say to this. What else was there to say? He should act like the concerned big brother, he assumed. »Does Grace know?«

»Of course. She was the one encouraging it even. Sasha and Mum don't really care about whom they hurt with such a behavior. They only care about what they can get out of it.«

Charles was either very dumb for telling him all of this so freely, very naive and trusting in his older brother, or he was following an ulterior motive himself. Maybe he was setting a trap for him and waited for Oswald to stumble straight into it. He should better keep a low profile and not play into his cards. Perhaps Grace had seen him and Ed in the city and knew that Oswald had seen her as well. Perhaps she had set Charles up to get the information what Oswald had seen like this.

Before he could say anything, however, he heard the approaching footfalls of clicking high heels on the parquet outside in the hallway. He knew that it was Grace before she even entered the living room. »Charles, dear, I think you need to take care of your homework still, don't you?«

His brother made a small grimace as he looked at Oswald again. To both of them, it was quite clear that Grace was just looking for an excuse to make Charles leave so that she would be able to talk to Oswald alone. Of course, he would be able to protest but they both knew that it would be of no use in the end. Grace always got what she wanted, that's what Charles had told him and that's what Oswald knew too. So, in the end, Charles got up with a small sigh, patted his shoulder again and walked past his mother.

Grace stayed where she was for a moment, her face the typical unreadable and wrinkle preventing mask as she was listening to the sounds of the house around him - or more specifically, how Charles was climbing up the staircase to the first floor. The old grandfather clock in the corner of the living room was making time tick by slowly. Tick, tick, tick. Oswald did not look away, his eyes fixed on Grace’s. Their war was still brewing and Oswald was not willing to give her the satisfaction of looking away and caving in front of her. Knowing that he had his father's support was quite motivating. Yet, Oswald knew that he had to keep his cards close to his chest. Who knew what Grace might do if she would realize that Elijah was still in favor of his first born son?

»So, Oswald.« She began sweetly as a smile spread over her face. »I am so glad that you are back where you belong.« He watched how she slowly walked around the sofa and sat down in a flowing motion on one of the comfortable armchairs just to his left-hand side.

»Yes, I am very happy to be back too.« He replied with a smile just as pleasant as her’s. »After all, it is as you said: This is where I belong, right? This is the house of my ancestors, after all, and so it will be my home in the future.«

»I am so glad that you think like that, Honey. Of course, we both know that this will mean for you to marry and father children, right? I am afraid you will not be able to keep up your relationship with Mr. Nygma in the future if you truly want to follow in your father’s footsteps. Wouldn't it be better to end things before they can take off?« Her face remained that mask of mock-concern that would seem honest to those uninitiated.

»You know, Grace, these days there are many ways to have a family. I am in no need of a wife for that.«

»Of course, Sweetheart. I still think that it would break your father's heart to accept bastards into this family and thus break the bloodline.« She smiled gently. »As you might know, your father is a traditionalist. Wouldn't it be a betrayal of everything this house stands for?«

»I saw you in town, Grace.« He had enough of dancing around the topic. If she knew what he meant, her face did not betray her. »Kissing that stranger. So, what did you want to tell me about betrayal?«

For a whole second, Grace was stunned into silence and yet her face remained unmoving. It was almost a little frustrating but Oswald knew better than to actually show his frustration. »You better watch your tongue, Oswald. I don't appreciate your tone and how you speak to me. Have some respect. I am, after all, your mother now.«

»You are nothing like that.« The audacity this woman had! Fish was more of a mother to him than Grace would ever be. »I don't have much respect for a fornicating whore.«

»Well, bad thing that you don't have any evidence to prove your ludicrous accusations.« Grace’s expression never wavered. She stayed in total control of her face and looked very much like they were just talking about the weather outside. »My advice for you would be to be a bit more careful who you are accusing of such things. Never forget that you might be Elijah’s first born child but a bastard nonetheless. Elijah takes great pride in his heritage and to have his things in order. I am most certain that he wants to adopt you into our family completely - perhaps have you even change your name - to make you his legal heir. Wouldn't it be just such a shame if someone would convince him that you are nothing but a legacy hunter?«

»His name is on my birth certificate.«

»Documents can be forged.« Grace smiled. »And who is to say that Gertrud was truthful as she had his name put on this document? He wasn’t there, was he? What if your mother, dishonored as she was when she was forced to leave this house because of her affair with Elijah, decided to lie about the true parentage of her son? Who is to say that Elijah was the only man she slept with back in the day? Maybe she fell pregnant and saw an opportunity? Elijah would have married her and as she was sent away, at least she could press his mother - God rest her soul - to pay for her silence.«

»You know that this isn't true.«

»Do I?« She smiled, her voice as sweet as honey. »Oh, Sweetheart … Your father is a man easy to be swayed. What do you think whom he will be inclined to believe in this matter? His wife of seventeen years or a son whom he only knows for a few weeks now? Oswald, if I were you, I would give up this fight against me. Do as I say and we can cease this. You are going to lose one way or the other.«

※※※※※※※

School was incredibly boring without Edward. That was just a fact of life at this point. A whole week had gone by in which Ed had to stay home and the only reason why his driver was driving him through Gotham and to Fish’s house these days instead of straight home as he was ordered to by Grace was that Oswald told him he had to bring Ed his homework. This was, of course, a blatant lie to get the opportunity of seeing Ed - and Fish too.

At least, he thought, his father had allowed Edward to stay over for a sleepover from Saturday to Sunday - of course, under strict rules even though his father, Grace and Charles would not be there to ensure that they would stick to those rules. To Oswald, it was almost a little hilarious how concerned his father seemed to be with what things his son might do with his boyfriend in the dark of the night. Hell, if his father would be half as concerned with Sasha’s behavior in the sheets as his…

Yet, Oswald did not plan on sleeping much that night when Ed would be at his house - but for entirely different reasons as his father would suspect. No, Oswald had a plan and he needed Ed for it.

As he was making his way through the empty hallway of a deserted Friday-afternoon school, he was already thinking about this weekend and, to be fair, not only about the unfolding of his plans but to a greater extent about the fact that Ed and he would have all the time in the world to be together. He couldn't deny that he was a little nervous thinking about having Ed at his house now after these new developments in their relationship. He couldn't help but wonder if Ed would try to go further than kissing this time around and, honestly, he didn't know if he himself would be ready to go further than this.

Over his thoughts, he hadn't heard the approaching footsteps behind him. Only as he was suddenly grabbed by the collar of his jacket and pulled straight into the men’s restroom to the side, did he snap out of his little fantasy quite forcefully. Still, everything happened too fast for him to really grasp what was going on. He dropped his backpack from his left shoulder as he was pushed through the door into the restroom and almost fell as the person holding him dragged him over to one of the stalls. One minute he had been out in the hallway, the next he found himself being thrust against a toilet.

He knew what was coming before the person behind him had time to bury their fist in his black hair to push his head down into the bowl. The realization what was coming didn't help, though. He swallowed a whole mouth full of water before he was pulled back by his attacker ripping on his hair. Spluttering he coughed out the water he had been forced to swallow.

»I bet you thought you have seen the last of me, huh, lil’ Penguin?« Jerome. He would recognize his voice under a thousand. Then again, who else would attack him like this out of the blue? The other guys might be cruel and throw crude comments his way (although this had started to become less and less of an occurrence since he was friends with Jim Gordon and Butch Gilzean) but they had only rarely attacked him physically. And never like this. Being dunked in a toilet bowl had been an urban legend until today for him, something to tell kids in their first year of high school to scare them. His mind still had troubles processing it as Jerome dunked him again despite his flailing and screaming. He tried desperately not to think about all the germs and bacteria and general nastiness of the situation as the water was filling his lungs while he still tried to yell for help.

Behind him, Jerome laughed about his misfortune as he dug his fingers into Oswald’s scalp relentlessly. It wasn't as if he had not expected Jerome to attack him again after the last time - just not like this. Oh, he had been so fucking stupid! Too occupied with all this drama with Jim and Edward and Isabella and his family! He had allowed himself to let his guard down!

After his initial shock, however, Oswald remembered his training with Jim. Sure, Jerome held him in a tight grip but he was alone and Oswald not some fragile maiden who needed anyone to help him. Despite being on his knees, he kicked out behind him with his left leg and caught Jerome in the shin. It was not much but it took the other boy by surprise enough that his grasp on Oswald slipped. That his hair was soaking wet by now only helped in this regard. In fact, Oswald’s kick made Jerome slip on the wet tiles. All his thrashing before had served not only to soak his own clothes in the nasty toilet water but furthermore the tiles on the ground as well.

Oswald knew that the window of time he had to react to Jerome’s slip was very limited and so he used it to throw himself backward with all his weight. With one mighty roar - that sounded probably a lot more like a hoarse squawk - he threw himself into Jerome as he managed to jump to his feet. He succeeded in pushing Jerome through the door of the stall he had been forced into. Jerome lost his footing on the slippery ground and fell hard against the wall.

»Feisty aren't we?« Jerome snickered but Oswald lashed out again without any hesitation as he threw a right hook and almost lost his footing himself.

»What's your fucking problem, Man?« Oswald shouted and he was aware that he looked like a total mess - probably crazy too with his wet hair hanging in his eyes and his cheek blotched from coughing out water. Before Jerome had even time to repay his punch in the same way, Oswald had already hit him again. »I’m sorry for what I did when we were younger, okay? It was not cool! I get it! But would you fucking stop attacking me all the time? Grow the fuck up, Jerome!«

»You really think that's my problem?« Jerome huffed. Oswald was pleased to see that he was bleeding from a cut running through his lips and from his nose. This was going to show Jerome that he was not this frail little bird he could fuck around with.

»Then what is it?« He growled, his patience with Jerome running thinner and thinner with each second. He was so done with all of this bullshit that was thrown his way lately. Grace, Jerome, Isabella and Ed’s father. It was enough. Neither he nor Edward would allow anyone to bully them from now on.

»You led me on and then you betrayed me!« Jerome’s words took him by surprise so much his heart actually skipped a beat.

»I did what now?«

»Stop pretending as if you wouldn't know what I mean! You made me believe you liked me and then you went against me to save your own neck because you didn't want _mommy_ to get mad at you! That was the worst day of my life! I thought I lost you! I thought you were dead!«

Suddenly, the aggression just drained from his body. He had expected a lot from Jerome, perhaps even that Jerome would finally beat the crap out of him and leave him on this dirty bathroom floor, but certainly not that. There was so much emotion flickering through Jerome’s brown eyes that Oswald actually felt a little creeped out by it. Sometimes it was so easy to forget that Jerome was not some kind of comic book villain but just a normal teenager with a damn crappy life. Well, of course, he could not claim that Jerome’s confession came completely out of the blue now. Jeremiah had already hinted at something like that and yet, to hear it spill from Jerome's own mouth like this … Wow.

And apparently, he was not the only one who was surprised by this development. For the longest time, they just stared at each other, both breathless, both surprised by the situation, both red in the face. Well, what now? How to react to such a thing? What to say now?

A lifetime ago, they had been friends. Best friends. And yes, he had liked Jerome perhaps even a little more than just a friend. However, so much had happened ever since.

»I-« He began and took a step back from Jerome, even though the smarter part of his brain urged him to be more careful now. This could very well be a trick. It was Jerome, after all. »I’m sorry.« Maybe that was the only thing he could say in this situation. »I … I really am sorry. I didn't know that you liked me in this way. I mean … I wondered if you did but back then I didn't dare to imagine such a thing. I should have never claimed that you were responsible for my little accident on that day. I was a shitty friend to you and … had I not been like that…«

What then? Would they be together now? Somehow this thought didn't sit right with him. Not only because of Jim or Edward and the thought on what he might have missed out on then. No, he just doubted that Jerome and he would not have been very compatible in the long run. It would all have ended in heartbreak and probably very ugly too.

The shove he received the next second from Jerome took him entirely by surprise and caused him to lose his footing on the slippery ground with his damaged leg. He landed on his ass in a not very dignified matter but the expected attack never came as Jerome dislodged himself from the wall behind him and spit a bit of blood on the ground. »Don't feel too sorry for me, I had plenty of pussy in the last couple of years. Heck! At least I don't get to be called out for banging a crippled little freak like you now.«

Jerome put on his best clownish sinister grin as he turned away from Oswald to leave the bathroom. Of course, his words cut deep as they always did but Oswald at least knew that this was Jerome's way of getting out of this situation without actually dealing with it. At the very least, he thought, this whole drama with Jerome seemed to be over and done with now. He would not need to bother himself with this maniac any longer and that was a good thing. The circus would leave Gotham soon anyway. However, even if Jerome would stay, Oswald had a distinct feeling, that Jerome would not mess with him again. Almost, as he sat on the wet tiles now, it seemed like they had been passed by a cleansing little storm. Finally, after years of torment, Jerome had spoken his mind.

Maybe this was very naive of him to think but, as he sat in a puddle on the ground of the dirty men’s restroom in his school now, he desperately wanted to believe that he was indeed right.

※※※※※※※

Saying that he was not used to a motherly figure in his life would be the understatement of the century. The situation he was in was a little weird. Well, weirder than usual, at the very least. So much had happened in such short a time that he felt he was surely getting whiplash from it. The last thing he would have expected from his last year in high school was that he would find himself sitting at the kitchen table in Fish Mooney’s house as sunlight warmly pooled into the room from outside with a cup of coffee in his left hand and the owner of the house on the other side of the table clicking her nails softly against the ceramic cup in her own hands while the radio was playing jazz softly in the background. Whenever authors described the feeling of homeliness in their stories, Ed thought, they must envision a setting like this because this, right here, was exactly how Edward had envisioned homeliness to feel all his life.

However, he couldn't quite overlook or ignore the awkwardness of this moment. After all, Fish Mooney was not just some random woman giving him shelter, right? She was Oswald's ex-foster mother and thus somewhat like a mother in law to Edward, he assumed. At least it felt like this. Not that this would be a bad thing. Just awkward.

»What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree and is extremely dangerous?«

»What?« She seemed taken by surprise by his riddle. Clearly, she had been expecting something else to come out of his mouth after she had asked him to sit down with her and have a little talk.

»A sparrow with a machine gun.«

»Ed, Darling-«

»What is green and then red and goes round and round?«

»Ed…«

»Frog in a blender!« He grinned but refused to meet her eyes. He already knew what she wanted to say and he didn't want to hear it. »What is black and white and red all over?« She didn't even try to grace his riddle with an answer now, only let out an exasperated little sigh. Yes, he was used to this kind of reaction. »The nun who put the frog in the blender - She forgot to put the lid on.«

»Ed, Honey, do we want to talk about why you are so nervous that you feel the need to throw riddles at me?«  She did not seem annoyed or angry. Well, maybe a little annoyed - perhaps more exhausted than actually annoyed. It was sometimes quite hard to tell. Edward was not the best when it came to actually reading other people. He was good in solving problems and riddles, good in finding clues and hints in the world around him. He could read the details of a house like this and tell something about the people living within these walls but he was not good when it came to reading expressions. That was more of Oswald’s strong suit.

As he raised his gaze to meet her’s now, he could only swallow around the lump in his throat and tried still not to make her notice. Instead, he adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat, sitting up straight again. »I don't think that would be necessary. I already know what you want to tell me, Fish.« He finally answered. Her gaze was steely and it was hard not to look away under her scrutiny. »I am very thankful for all you’ve done for me these past couple of days and I … Well, I am going to stay overnight at the van Dahls this weekend but, I’ll pack up my stuff before then so that I can be back home on Sunday.«

It was the first time _she_ broke eye contact if even only for a second as she blinked slowly. »You have me confused here, Kiddo.« She then stated slowly before taking a sip from her coffee. Holding onto his own cup as for dear life was the only thing grounding Edward at this moment, actually. He was afraid that he might float away otherwise.

»Well, surely you want me to leave your house now that I am getting better again.« Ed explained himself hesitantly. »I mean … it's understandable, right? I am most certainly not the best guest to have around. I know that I can be quite annoying. And why wouldn't I go back home anyway? I already exploited your hospitality more than enough. I don't want to overstay my welcome and I don't want you to feel pressured into allowing me to stay here just because Oswald is my boyfriend now…« He trailed off under Fish’s intent stare and the way she rose both her brows simultaneously at his words.

»That is not at all what I wanted to talk to you about, Pumpkin.«

»It's not?« His heart fluttered just a bit as he heard her using a pet name for him. He wasn’t used to it. Then again, Fish was a woman who was quick to throw around _darlings_ and _honeys_. He should not interpret too much into her calling him _pumpkin_.

»Of course, not!« She huffed and leaned back in her chair a little more. »Did you really think I would send you back to that man? Hell, no! In fact, I wanted to ask you if you want to stay here permanently at least until your graduation. You are almost eighteen and I bet that we can get you emancipated pretty easily if necessary after what your father has done to you the other day.«

»Are you serious?« He didn't mean for it to sound rude and apparently, Fish did not take it as rude either. She just smiled her amused little smile at his reaction and took another sip of coffee. »I mean … You don't have to do this … I understand if you want to do this because of Oswald and I am very grateful in this case but … You really don't need to-«

»I’m not doing this for Oswald, Pumpkin.« Fish smirked. »I'm doing this for you. If there is one thing in life that I just can't stand it is abusive parents. I myself was raised solely by my mother, you must know. Such a strong-willed, unbreakable woman the world has never seen before - or after. However, it took her a while to reach this point. My father was just like your’s, violent, abusive, a cowardly rotten drunkard, a waste of space. One day, my mother packed up her stuff after he had beaten her up the night before because she had intervened as he hit me. She grabbed me and our most precious belongings and left. I will never forget those days and it was then that I swore to myself that I would be just like her when I am all grown up. I would not allow any man to lay a hand on me in violence and especially not on my children.«

He thought about his own mother for a moment. Sure, she had been loving and kind and his father had never hit her but she had never done anything to make him see how badly he was treating their son. It was easy to romanticize a dead loved one and forget about their mistakes or flaws. He only wanted to keep his mother in fond memory and for that, it seemed easier to forget that she had not quite protected him from his father. Maybe she hadn't seen such a problem in the occasional slap he had gotten when his father had felt the need to discipline his annoying son.

»I always talked too much.« Ed found himself mumbling with a small shrug of his shoulders. He felt the need to slump a little in on himself and only sat up a bit straighter because of it. He didn't want to look as small in front of Fish as he felt. »That's what my mom said before she died, anyway. She wasn't quite herself back then. The pain and the medication made her say things she didn't mean. Still, I knew she did mean that and I understood it. I was always a bit hyper, I think. I remember school teachers telling my parents that I might have ADHD or that I might have autism. Every week they came with a new diagnosis for me or pills to take. I was a genius, that was the only good thing in all of this - even to my dad. If his son was some form of retard, at least he wasn't a stupid retard. Still, I was annoying as a child to him. Always talking and talking and talking.«

»Or making crappy jokes?« Fish smiled as she reached over the table to grab his left hand gently.

»Yes.« He forced himself to smile. »Or asking stupid riddles. I was fascinated by riddles but no one ever wanted to listen to them.« Edward added with a small humorous huff. »I thought that I might get my father to like me through humor but that wasn't the case, I guess. After mom’s death, everything just got worse between dad and me. Every little thing I did was ticking him off and sent him flying into a rage. I could do nothing right at all, it seemed. At one point, I just gave up and tried to be as little as possible at home. I started to get involved in all kinds of after-school activities. I hoped that I might find friends this way too. At the very least it would allow me to stay at school until nightfall. At least then I didn't have to see him as much. It worked out well enough, I guess.«

»Until it didn't.« Fish frowned and drew lazy little circles on the back of Ed’s hand.

Thinking about the night his father might have killed him had he not managed to get away was not easy, to say the least. He had talked about it with Oswald - of course, he had. A part of him still refused to acknowledge the reality of what had happened that night. Maybe that was the same part of him that still hoped to rekindle his relationship with the old man one day. Of course, that hope was futile and perhaps even a little silly.

There was no way that he and his father would ever get along, no matter what would happen in the future. Acknowledging this as truth was hard but certainly a necessary step forward. He would not be able to move forward if he would refuse to acknowledge reality. He even found himself envying Oswald for having such a good relationship with his own father. Oswald knew the love of a parent. be it his late mother or his newfound father - or even the love of a foster mother like Fish. Edward though … Looking back on everything, he wasn't even quite sure anymore if his mother had loved him truly. She had been too young when she had him, perhaps. Too inexperienced and naive. Perhaps he had been too much for her. Maybe he would be too much for Fish as well.

»He was so glad when he heard I had a girlfriend.« Ed huffed. »Of course, I only started dating Isabella because I wanted to get closer to Kristen, her sister. I know, that sounds horrible. It _was_ horrible and I am not a nice person for doing something like this. But when he heard about the break up from Isabella … God, I still can't wrap my head around it. Why would she go to my father and tell him? I wished I could ask her but as far as I know from Kristen, she is leaving for Europe this weekend. Perhaps it's better like this. I don't know what I would do to her if I would have the chance to confront her for what she did. That thought scares me a little.«

Edward had never quite been a violent person. He hated violence with a passion. That was probably the only good thing about his relationship to his father and the only thing he needed to be thankful for when it came to the old man. Still, thinking about Isabella’s revenge on him, thinking about how much pain she had caused him that night made him want to wrap his hands around her throat and squeeze tightly.

»Getting angry is normal, Ed.« Fish cooed gently. As if she knew what maelstrom had opened up in his head, she grabbed his hand tighter with both of hers now that she had put down her cup. She was grounding him, helping him to stay in the here and now.

»I am just so afraid.« His own pressed voice was alien to him, as was the little hiccup escaping his throat. Barely, he was even able to hear the front door open. His mind was not processing that Butch was returning home. »I am so afraid that I will become like my dad. What if I turn out like him one day? What if I start hurting those I love one day? What if I start hurting Oswald or you?«

»You won’t.« Fish smiled. »You are a good boy, Edward. You will be a good man.«

 

**-End of Chapter 18-**


	19. Chapter 19

The van Dahl house was quiet. Eerily quiet even. A thunderstorm had hit Gotham just an hour ago and was now violently raging over the city, pouring gallons and gallons of rainwater on the streets, the harsh winds ripping on trees and tearing apart electric lines. The house was plunged into darkness except for the lightning bolts that would lighten up the rooms across the huge estate every now and then. Wind was whistling sharply like the whisper of ghosts through the cracks in the walls and windows. Edward did not necessarily believe in ghosts, very much unlike his boyfriend, but he could understand his belief in the paranormal living in a house like this that was the living breathing echo of the history of Gotham as it now seemed.

»Good thing this house is so old-fashioned, huh?« Oswald smirked as he handed Edward a gas lantern - apparently only one of many his ancient family possessed still. Not that Ed would judge or complain. At least they now had a source of light for Oswald’s father seemed not to believe in the power of flashlights.

»This feels like being stuck in some kind of cheap horror movie.« Ed muttered under his breath as he accepted the lantern from Oswald’s hand as his only source of light from now on until the power would be restored to the house - which, knowing Gotham, would probably not happen before the next morning anyway. Of course, he should be grateful for the fact that the van Dahls had held onto lanterns like this.

»That's just Gotham, you big baby.« Oswald chuckled lowly and began walking down the dark hallway of the mansion. He hadn't been living in his ancient family home for long yet and still, he seemed to know his way around in total darkness. He wouldn't say that he felt uncomfortable in the dark house that was even under normal circumstances a bit too gothic for his taste, of course. He was still glad that Oswald was leading the way. »Now come on, we have to use this night to our advantage.«

»That sounds like a promise.« Ed huffed with an amused little grin only to relish the little blush that crept into Oswald’s cheeks at the implications - barely noticeable in the light of his lantern as he glanced over his shoulder back to Ed. He was still so very easy to fluster in this regard and a part of Edward even enjoyed it - even though Oswald sometimes got a bit too skittish still. Then again, he was Oswald’s first boyfriend and that he could not just shrug off like this. He remembered when he had started Isabella, how nervous he had been all the time. Not that he wouldn’t be nervous around Oswald now too.

By some twist of fate, they had the entire house to themselves this night. The other van Dahls - Grace, Elijah, and Charles - had left the house two hours ago. The thunderstorm had surprised everyone and so Oswald’s father and Grace were stuck in the city. They were attending the yearly founders' dinner of the most wealthy and oldest families of Gotham and had taken Charles with them as well. Next year, Elijah had promised his son with this twinkle in his eyes, it would be Oswald’s turn. Sasha was stuck at some girlfriend’s house - or, as far as Oswald knew and had told him, a boy’s house, in fact. Fate was favoring Oswald and Ed tonight as it seemed. They had now all the time in the world to clear up the mystery around Grace and her unnamed lover. Of course, she would have her phone with her, but Oswald was still convinced that they would be able to find out about her affair even without the phone.

Edward himself had arrived around three hours ago at the mansion after Butch had dropped him off on his way to Tabby. It was Saturday, after all, and the two lovebirds had greater things in mind than sitting at home. He was still a bit bothered by the fact that he couldn't drive at the moment but the car ride with Butch had been much more pleasant than he would have anticipated. In fact, living together with the big guy was not nearly as bad as he had feared. At home, Butch was a very different person. However, perhaps his change of heart had been sparked by the circumstances that had led to Ed now living with him.

In the end, Butch Gilzean was just one big teddy.  

Outside a lightning bolt shot from the skies and drowned the hallway into a bright light for two seconds, casting unnatural moving shadows across the walls around them like ghosts scurrying away from them in fear of the intruders. »Grace has her desk in her bedroom.« He informed Edward quietly as they made their way towards the grand staircase in the reception hall. Despite being alone in the big house, both of them were compelled to talk in hushed voices and whispers for some odd reason. Ed blamed the ambiance.

»They don't sleep in the same room?«

»You know how fancy people roll, Ed.«

»Do I now?« He chuckled. »I only know how you roll and I could not for the love of me imagine you wanting to sleep in separate beds.«

»I am not that needy, Nygma.« He chuckled as he carefully walked up the stairs, mindful of his mangled leg and the very real fear that he might trip on the blood red - and probably ridiculously expensive - velvet carpet that covered the stairs. »You’ll see, we have many bedrooms in this house, I can easily ban you to one of the spare bedrooms if you provoke me.«

Of course, that was what his father expected anyway. Oswald’s father had not explicitly said anything before he, Grace and Charles had left earlier, but it was pretty clear that he was counting on Oswald and Edward to behave like proper gentlemen and not hormone-driven teenagers while they were alone. Sure, his father had not expected to be gone the entire night, though. He knew that Oswald’s father had had their maid prepare one of the guest bedrooms for Ed too before she had gone home for the night just as well as the cook and the butler a little while after the rest of the family had left.

Oswald led him quite determinedly down the upstairs hallway after they reached the first-floor landing. There was a window at the end of the hallway and right outside of it a tree which cast the shadows of long spindly fingers across the walls whenever another lighting bolt would strike. It looked as if the ghostly fingers of some old witch were reaching out to grab him. Maybe it was just his overly active imagination. Oswald, for some reason, seemed completely unbothered by all of this.  

Grace’s bedroom was at the end of the hallway and apparently right opposite her husband’s room. Edward would have expected that she had locked her door but that seemed not to be the case as Oswald simply opened the door and walked right inside. The room seemed to come straight out of a Hollywood movie with all the expensive furniture and materials. The theme for her room was a very distinct Bordeaux red and one of her many expensive black dresses hung on a dressmaker’s doll in one corner of the room. It was cold inside as there was no fire going in the fireplace and a bit of wind coming through the one window that she had left ajar. Apparently, she liked it cold - which was not that huge of a surprise.

Oswald hurried over to her desk and sat down his lantern on the table top before he sat down on the chair and started rummaging through the drawers methodically. In another world, he would make a great police officer, he would assume. Shortly, he noticed the framed photos of Sasha and Charles standing on the desk. No photo of Elijah. Of course, not. In the meanwhile, Ed walked over to her bed and pulled out the top drawer of her nightstand.

Edward, for his part, was not very hopeful that they would actually find any real kind of evidence lying around like this in Grace’s room and yet he kept searching. Grace was not at all stupid. She was cunning and manipulative as far as he could tell, anyway. She would know better than having her secrets out in the open for any nosy maid to find. Still, he wanted to help Oswald and if that meant that he needed to turn this whole house upside down in just one night, so be it. Of course, he was a little handicapped and that didn't make it any easier per se. But how could he disappoint Oswald when he was this enthusiastic in busting Grace’s ass?

It took a while and a lot of frustrated groans and grunts from Oswald until Edward gave up on the first of two nightstands before he moved onto the other side of the bed and opened the top drawer of the other nightstand. It was much of the same. Cremes, jewelry and other miscellaneous little items like coins and unnecessary random things.

»Bills, bills, bills!« Oswald huffed. »For all kinds of crap! Seriously! Look what she spends on a daily basis, Ed! My mother and I could have lived a whole month on the amount of money she spends in just a week! And for what? Gloves, a new coat, a pair of diamond earrings! And all on my father’s credit cards, of course!«

It must be hard to see all of this with his own eyes now. Of course, the van Dahls were living in luxury and Oswald now too and yet it had to hurt like a bitch to actually see a number on a slip of paper that could determine just how wasteful they were living. Oswald rarely talked about his mother and how they had been living but Ed had never been wealthy before too and he could imagine how hard it must have been and how painful it now was to see how bad of a deal his mother had made. While Grace van Dahl had gotten the man Gertrud had loved and rolled around in money ever since Gertrud had been forced to raise her son in a two bedroom apartment in downtown with barely enough money to buy him the new toy he wanted or new clothes he needed. It wasn’t fair.

In his frustration, Edward actually pulled out the drawer completely and dumped the contents of it on the bed and it was exactly that what alarmed him to the fact that there was a false bottom in the drawer. From holding the drawer in his hands and seeing it from the outside, he could quite clearly see that it was narrower than the other one - and heavier even while empty as well.

»Jackpot!« Edward exclaimed as he flashed a grin at Oswald who quickly got up from the chair, scraping it over the hardwood flooring, and hurried over to Edward as quickly as his mangled leg allowed him to. Finding the the hidden little mechanism at the side of the drawer that allowed him to open the secret compartment inside of it was far too easy for someone like Edward.

Inside of it, he found a leather briefcase with Grace’s monogram etched into it. As he gave his finding to Oswald, his boyfriend treated it like the holy grail and brushed the tips of his fingers over the leather carefully for just one moment before he opened the briefcase and tore out the documents inside. There were letters upon letters and all to the same man as it seemed. A man by the name of Anthony Graves, a well-known lawyer, who had lost his wife last year through rather tragic if suspicious circumstances as far as Ed was able to remember from the newspaper. For the longest time, they just sat together, reading those letters and piecing together everything. Of course, reading everything seemed impossible in one night. So, they stuck to the older ones and had decided to work their way up from there.

»That bitch.« Oswald concluded after a while. As it had turned out, they held letters of the last twenty years of Grace van Dahl’s life in their hands. Grace had been dating this man even before she had married Oswald’s father and so, with each letter they read, it was less and less of a surprise that neither Sasha nor Charles were actually Elijah’s kids. »I can't believe it!«

It was not at all like it always was in the movies where the hero of the story would find the proverbial smoking gun with violins screeching in the background. The reality of all of this was much quieter and less exciting. In her letters to her lover, Grace had told him over and over again how much she actually resented Elijah, how abhorred she was by his weakness and his fragile constitution and how amused she was that _the old fool_ was not even suspecting that his children were not his own. She was boasting about it how she had foisted Anthony’s children on Elijah. She relished in his naivete and his unwavering belief in the goodness of her heart and her love for him.

For his father, this would be a shock, of course, but for Oswald this could only be good. After all, it would mean he would be the sole heir of the large van Dahl fortune sooner or later. _Sooner_ , as the little voice in the back of his head reminded him quietly, _more than later, judging by Elijah’s bad health_.

»What do you want to do now?« Ed asked quietly.

»I don't know.« Oswald huffed. »What can I do about this?« In the dim light of only their lanterns, he looked a little lost, his electric blue eyes wide from the shock of the truth they had just discovered. It was hard to tell what it was about the situation, but Edward felt almost electrified. Perhaps it was the fact that they were in this together, sharing this experience, plotting and scheming against Grace and, to an extent now that they knew, her children. Then again, he could see it clearly in Oswald’s eyes that he was not completely happy about this latest development. He had been raised as an only child and yet he liked his little brother Charles. Sasha perhaps not as much but he had accepted her as his sister right away, suddenly happy to have siblings - a family.

Now, all of the sudden, it probably was like waking from some nice little dream. Charles was not his brother. Sasha was not his sister. They were not related at all and Grace’s betrayal of his beloved father reached even deeper than he had expected and feared before. He was probably sad for his father and though Edward had no relationship to his own father, he could understand how he felt. There was a storm brewing behind Oswald’s eyes - perhaps the first signs of the madness that seemed to befall most male van Dahls sooner or later as Grace had once remarked jokingly.

Maybe the thing Oswald now needed the most was a shoulder to lean onto and not someone to plot Grace’s downfall with, though.

»Should we place those back where we found them?« Ed asked as he pointed to the letters in Oswald’s hands. However, as if jolting awake all of the sudden, Oswald’s eyes first narrowed down on the letters and then met Ed’s again. He realized right away that he had been wrong before. No, Oswald was in no need of a shoulder to lean onto. Not at all. He was furious.

»No.« He replied at last but shoved the letters back into the briefcase still - and perhaps a bit more forceful than necessary. »We will keep this. Soon Grace will find out that the letters are gone and then she will panic.«

»She will suspect you.« Ed warned.

»Of course, she will and I will confront her about the letters.«

»Do you think that's the smartest idea?« He wanted nothing more but for Oswald to thrive in this situation and to put Grace back where she belonged. He wanted Oswald to win this game and yet, Grace was dangerous. He had only seen her three times by now but he still knew that she was someone not to mess with. Hopefully, Oswald would come out of all of this unscathed. »I mean, what do you want her to do when you confront her about those letters?«

»I want her to leave, I want her to tell my father the truth.«

»She will not.«

»No, but then I still have her letters. My father might be a bit timid and a bit naive at times, too kind for his own good, but he will believe me when he read those letters. I don't know if he will throw them all out, though. He will be heartbroken.«

 _Perhaps_ , the little voice in the back of his mind chimed up once more, _this plan will backfire though. What if good old Elijah believes his wife more than those letters? He knows her much longer than Oswald. For all he knows those letters could be forged by him. And even if he believes them … Don’t you think he might still throw Oswald out instead of them? Perhaps he already suspects something, perhaps he knows something and just doesn’t want it to be true. No one is that naive, Ed. He might just as well project his righteous anger and his heartbreak on Oswald. After all, he was living a perfectly happy life with his family - and then Oswald comes and bursts his bubble._

»Sometimes it's better to have a quick end to something so horrible instead of prolonging your father’s suffering. It wouldn't be fair to keep him blind to the truth.« He wanted to put his arm around Oswald but his boyfriend sat on the wrong side. Having his right arm in a sling seriously sucked. Then again, he liked it that it forced Oswald to actually help him and mother him a little. Until he had moved in with Fish, Ed had not even realized that he was in so much need of something like this. He was starved for attention. He was starved for someone to coo over him, for someone to mother him and shower him with love.

»You told me that your grandmother died by accident, didn't you?« For a moment, as he stared at the briefcase in Oswald’s hands, he didn't even quite know where the thought suddenly came from but after it had first manifested it was impossible to get rid of again.

»She fell down the stairs to the basement. Apparently, Grace had given the staff the night off and so grandma has been found only hours later when it was already much too late.« Oswald shrugged but it didn't take long for him to catch on to what Ed meant. »You think she might…«

»It wouldn't surprise me.« Ed shrugged. »If so, I am certain that she has said something about it in her letters. We should clean up this place and go back to your room - just in case they find a way to return in that storm. If you want me to, I can take the briefcase with me and see if I find something about your granny’s death.«

»But why would she have killed her?«

»I don't know.« He answered with a small sigh. »She died after your mother died, right? Perhaps her bad consciousness finally caught up with her and she wanted to tell your dad the truth about you and your mother? If so, Grace might have found out and wanted her to shut up about it. Having you in your father's life would only mean trouble for her and her children, after all.«

»But he did find out.« Oswald mumbled. »Then again, it was probably by accident. Grace mostly takes care of the finances after all. Perhaps she had not expected my father to meddle with his mother’s affairs too much to notice the monthly payments to my mother.«

»We will find out the truth.« Ed promised. »We are in this together, after all, and if there’s one thing I’m good at it's solving puzzles.« And, at last, this remark earned him a bright smile from his boyfriend that made his heart flutter a whole lot more than it had any right to. Sometimes he wondered if Oswald even knew what he was doing to him. Trying to hide his little dilemma, Edward cleared his throat and finally put the secret bottom back into the drawer before putting the drawer back into the nightstand. »Anyway, come on, clean up the chaos you made.« He reminded Oswald with a little grin as he started to throw the items on the bed back into Grace’s nightstand drawer to close it. Oswald himself had reigned havoc over her desk, after all.

Cleaning up the scene of their little investigation against Grace van Dahl was easier and quicker than he would have expected and, in the end, the only thing that told of what they had done was the fact that they had stolen her briefcase with the letters. The room was meticulously tidy and looked completely untouched as Ed and Oswald left with their lanterns to slowly make their way back to Oswald's room just a few doors down.

It felt almost a bit odd as they finally settled down in their pajamas in Oswald’s gigantic bed. There really was no need that they should be touching in that big of a bed but, of course, they quickly bridged the wasteland between them to be at least in reaching distance to each other. By now they had surpassed midnight and the storm that was raging over Gotham had only picked up more speed and fury as it seemed. For a brief moment, Edward thought that the storm outside might be a manifestation of the turmoil inside of Oswald. He could feel it vibrate in Oswald’s bones almost. Through the window behind Oswald, Ed could see the branches of the trees in the distance shake violently. The room was only lit by the calmly crackling fire in Oswald’s stone fireplace after they had turned off their lanterns and thus gave an eerie, though comfortable, little glow to the room.

Last time they had shared a bed had been at Fish’s place in that night their paths had met again so surprisingly. Until now, they had not really spoken about this latest development in their relationship - other than that they were now a couple, as it seemed. There had not been the need to talk about it, he assumed. Oswald was eager to spend as much time with him as possible and though this had annoyed him with Isabella before, he found it endearing when it came to Oswald. Sometimes he would look at him out of those big blue eyes and Ed would feel like he was the only man on the planet worth looking at.

It was still odd and he still didn't really know what to make of this. It was so hard to wrap his mind around. It shouldn't be this hard, he assumed. And why did he feel so nervous lying here with Oswald now? He had already blurted out those magical three words that he thought he would say to Kristen Kringle on one of these days. There was nothing to lose anymore for him, right? Oswald knew how he felt about him. The thing was, however, he didn't know how Oswald felt for him in return. He had been infatuated with Jim Gordon not too long ago, after all. He doubted that his feelings for Jim had magically disappeared and transferred onto Ed instead.  

Maybe that was the real problem in this story.

Had Oswald just decided to be his boyfriend so that he wouldn't hurt him? Or because Ed was the next best thing since he couldn't have Jim? He didn't like the direction of his thoughts and yet he couldn't quite shake them off either. Then again, none of them had been in this kind of situation before, right? With Isabella, he had known from the start where his heart was at and how she felt about their relationship. That had made it quite a bit easier somehow.

Maybe he was just afraid that Oswald would decide that all of this had been a bad idea and that he didn't like Ed in this way after all. It wouldn't be much of a surprise. Oswald was gorgeous and he just a walking talking freak show. Not even his own father loved him. He was relying on strangers for the little bit of warmth and sense of familiarity that he could get and latched onto them like a tic, unwilling to let go until he would have drained them of all their blood and love until they could only feel disdain for him.

It was Oswald who ripped him from his thoughts as he suddenly grabbed his left hand on the mattress between them and joined their fingers with a bit more hesitation than he would have thought necessary. They were a couple, after all. In the dim light, he could see how Oswald was looking at their hands, contemplating Ed’s fingers as it seemed, apparently lost in thought. Without his glasses, which he had taken off and put on the nightstand on his side of the bed, it was not as easy to make out every detail of Oswald’s face now.

»What's on your mind?« He found himself asking. The question came easy enough. He knew Oswald, after all. He knew when something was bothering him. He could see the little cogs turning in his head.

»I was just thinking … Why did you suddenly decided that you didn't want Kristen anymore?« The question finally broke out of him. »I mean … The moment you had her you didn't want her anymore. That makes me a bit nervous, actually.«

It took Ed a moment to realize what Oswald meant by this and as he did he had to take his only functioning hand out of Oswald’s only to place it on the side of his face and brush a few wayward strands of his ink black hair out of his face.

»I don't know what it was.« Ed replied silently, almost as if he could break some sort of spell would he talk any louder. »I think-« The sigh he let out was deep and exhausted. »I think I just desperately wanted to be normal, you know? I never was normal. I was always the freak. But Kristen promised a normal life for me, right? A beautiful wife, a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, 2.5 children and a dog named Peanut. I thought that this was what I wanted because I was afraid to examine my feelings in any other way but this. I never dared to imagine that I could be gay or bisexual. I think I wanted my father’s approval too. He would never accept me to be with a man and I so desperately wanted to be accepted. But when I finally had Kristen and kissed her … It did not feel like I thought it would feel. I started to realize that I had only projected my feelings for something else onto her. She had been the answer to everything in my head but when it happened, I realized that this was just not true. She wasn't the answer and she couldn't give me what I wanted. She was just what I was supposed to want.«

Oswald’s face was unreadable and this, for the first time, was kinda freaking him out a little.

»You said you loved me.« Oswald then spoke up again, his voice much more timid and quiet as usual. He had been quick to realize that he quite liked this newfound shyness of Oswald.

»I did.« He agreed softly. »And I meant it. I … After the thing with Kristen I immediately went to you for your advice but when I found you, all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss you and how much I loathed Jim for getting the chance to actually kiss you. Maybe I was a little petty when I kissed you at that party.« He added jokingly with a little chuckle only to hear Oswald snort.

»A little?«

»Still, I realized that, ever since we became friends, I felt like finally someone saw me for who I was. I am not even sure if Kristen saw the real me or if she would have accepted me for the man I truly am. But with you … somehow I was never afraid that you wouldn't accept me because you already did. With you, I could just be Ed Nygma and you still liked me. To me, that was a miracle and that's when I realized that I liked you more than just my best friend. Maybe I was a bit too forward, I tend to get overly excited, shoot off of the mouth. If you don't feel the same way it's-«

»I cannot be bought but stolen with one glance. I am worthless to one but priceless to two. What am I?«

»Is that … Are you asking me a riddle?« His heart was beating even faster now and all of this just because Oswald Cobblepot had asked him a riddle. He truly was a lost cause, wasn't he?

»I am so thankful, Ed … For everything, you’ve done. You helped me through so much pain and heartbreak and sadness these past three months, even when you didn't need to. We were total strangers and yet you cared about me. You were the first person to really see me, I thought. When we became friends ... for the first time I felt _wanted_.«

»Love.« Ed sputtered before Oswald could get lost in some sort of tangent. »The answer is love.«  He didn't even allow Oswald to say anything in response as he bridged the distance between them to press his lips to Oswald’s. Before he knew it, he could feel Oswald’s eager hands slip underneath his shirt. The intention was clear enough and though there was a part of him that wanted to protest, that wanted to urge them both to slow down a little, instead he helped Oswald to pull his shirt over his head even though it meant they had to break their kiss.

For someone who had never done anything like that before, Oswald was very eager. Then again, Edward could hardly blame him. Oswald’s kisses burnt his skin where they touched him a moment later.

Ed was actually so light-headed that it was getting harder and harder to concentrate all of the sudden. In retrospect, he wouldn't even know anymore how he had undressed the younger boy and tossed his pajama to the side carelessly. Having only one hand at his disposal made it not exactly any easier for him and he wished that this would be different but he would make do with what he had, he supposed as he ran his left hand up and down Oswald’s side, picking up the kiss once more. Slower and lazier than before, actually. He wanted to take his time, wanted to relish at the moment even as he drew his blunt nails over Oswald’s skin and left a trail of red marks along the way to mark him as his thoroughly.

Care and patience, that were two things he needed and hard to have at the moment when Oswald was already looking so good and messed up. The only cover Oswald had now was his thick blanket and though it was hard to make out in the dim light, he was certain that his whole body was flushed from embarrassment. »Do you have-«

»Nightstand.« Oswald panted, already breathless just from the sheer proximity they were in, their bodies pressed together like this, skin against skin. The only thing Edward was still wearing were his boxer shorts but he was certain that Oswald would be quick to make them disappear as well. Quickly, Edward rolled on his back to start rummaging through the nightstand beside him with his left hand. He found what he was looking for almost right away - a part of him wondering if Oswald might have planned the night to go in that direction for him to actually have lube stored in his bedside table. It suddenly seemed so debauched of him to have lube hidden in his bedside table in a house like this. The prim and proper young heir of an ancient Gotham family he was not. Of course, Edward would be the last person to complain.

He was on top of Oswald in a matter of seconds, cloaked only by the blanket they were hiding under. He would give everything to see Oswald naked now, have him not hidden in any way. Still, it felt as if they needed to do this in secret, as if at any time someone might barge in on them now. He expected Oswald to shrink away, to get antsy again. Instead, he opened his legs all too willingly for Edward. He seemed to fit right between them as if he was meant to be right there.

Kissing away whatever tension might be there, Edward handed Oswald the bottle of lube with a small grin as he broke the kiss. »A little help here.« His pupils were blown wide already as he all too eagerly took the bottle and squirted a generous amount on Ed’s fingers and helped him to coat them in the gel. Was he imagining things now or was Oswald actually trembling a little?

»Fuck!« Oswald cursed finally as Edward slipped his first finger inside of him after massaging the tight ring of muscle just for a moment. Both of them had no clue what they were doing and he was painfully aware of that. He hadn't expected that Oswald would be so open to this so quickly and yet here they were.

»Sorry!« He gasped and instinctively tried pulling away again but Oswald’s hand quickly grabbed his to hold it in place.

»Don't you dare.« He groaned and, to Ed’s surprise, pushed against him to get his finger in deeper.

A sly smirk crossed his features when Oswald showed little to no patience as soon as he had a single finger inside him. The kiss he gave him was sweet, and he wanted him more than he could say, but he wasn't going to rush this. After all, this was the first time for them both. He could not even begin to describe how nervous he was.

His eyes were glued to Oswald's fuzzy outline, as he added a second finger, and finally a third, slowly but steadily working him open. Oswald, however, was no one who would just lie down and let him do all the work. Unlike Ed, he had two hands at his disposal, after all. It shouldn’t surprise Ed as much as it did as Oswald shoved his own fingers under the waistband of his boxer shorts to shove them down impatiently, his nails digging into the skin of Ed’s ass while Ed himself succeeded to tear another moan from him while working him open. Already the sounds Oswald made were like music to his ears and he could only repay him with a moan of his own as Oswald wrapped his thin fingers around his own dick. The touch of Oswald’s hand evoked a deep groan from the back of his throat. It was the first time anyone touched him in this manner, after all. Ed quickly lured Oswald into another short kiss that was broken by the time he was done extracting his fingers.

»Are you sure?« Ed gasped breathlessly.

»Are you kidding me?« He shouldn’t be surprised by his answer, probably and he shouldn't be surprised as Oswald retracted his own hand just to make use of the lube again to coat Ed’s cock generously, drawing yet another gasp from the taller teen. He wanted to see his face when he entered him and so he tried not to pry his eyes from Oswald as he finally guided his cock between Oswald’s legs and against his entrance. He kept the pace steady and torturously slow as he finally breached the tight ring of muscle only to be rewarded with a deep moan from his boyfriend. Even that sound could not quite quell the anxiousness inside of Edward as his mind was only circling around the fear of hurting Oswald. He had not expected their night to turn into this and yet he was glad it happened. Still, he wanted to make it good for Oswald even though he had so little experience of his own.

»Fuck!« He cursed with a shuddering breath as his nails were boring into Oswald’s left hip to steady him.

»Keep going.« Oswald urged almost a little desperate for Edward to finally start moving inside of him. At the very least he seemed comfortable in this position and that was already so much more than Edward could have hoped for. To his amazement, Oswald actually wrapped his legs around his hips as he finally began moving, setting a slow pace for them both while his heart was hammering in his chest so badly that he was certain it would just stop at once now. He wondered if Oswald felt the same way. He wondered if Oswald was just as excited and nervous and uncertain than he. All of this was awkward and new and exciting and Edward wanted nothing more but to take his time and explore every inch of Oswald’s body. Instead, he was already inside of him, thrusting slowly and carefully so he wouldn't hurt him.

The only indication he had that it was good for Oswald were the soft little moans he was able to tear from his throat or the way he screwed his eyes shut, already a helpless mess underneath Edward in such short a time. The way Oswald had wrapped his legs around his hips couldn't be comfortable with his damaged leg but Oswald seemed to know exactly what he wanted and where he wanted him. It was easy enough to follow the lead when Oswald was letting him know just how he liked it and how much too through the way he pushed against him or dug his nails into Ed’s shoulder blades.

Ed knew that he had managed to find Oswald’s prostate as the younger boy let out a cry of pleasure, arching his back almost painfully. The rush of adrenaline and endorphins through his system encouraged Ed to try and keep the angle to deliberately make him cry out with pleasure and make him see stars. He should forget that he had ever been in love with anyone but Edward. Jim Gordon should be banned into obscurity for Oswald, someone who was not more than a phantom of the past.

He barely noticed how Oswald slipped his right hand between their bodies to wrap his fingers around his own cock to give it a few tantalizing little jerks. Words were unnecessary. Oswald let him know with the whole of his body how close he was in the sweetest way. He could feel it in the stuttering of his hips, how his left hand dug into his back for purchase and with the tone of his voice. It was hard to miss even for someone as inexperienced as he was - and even harder to miss when Oswald came all over his own hand.

The resulting contraction took him completely off guard and managed to make him see stars at once. Before he knew it, Oswald’s body was forcing the orgasm out of Edward with a deep groan. He didn't even realize what was happening at first - otherwise, he would have pulled out in time. Oswald, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious or not to care at all that ed had just spilled inside of him. He continued to thrust for a moment, riding out his orgasm until he was thoroughly spent and sank onto Oswald’s chest as he stilled.

They were sticky and hot and so close that it almost felt as if they were one person. Ed was suddenly unable to tell where Oswald began and where ended. They were one and it was good and he didn't want it any other way. Suddenly, Ed was too tired to do anything. He just wanted to lie here with Oswald, not thinking about anything at all, not doing anything at all.

»Sorry…« He muttered quietly into the crook of Oswald’s neck.

»For what?« Oswald sounded equally as tired out of his mind as he felt but at least his boyfriend still found it in himself to brush his long fingers through his curling hair gently.

»I made a mess.« Ed replied but this time with a small little grin pulling on his lips as he moved just enough to pull Oswald’s bottom lip between his own teeth.

»We have to take a bath then.«

He didn't want to get up. In the end, though, he did get up. He had envisioned how it would be like: his first time with Oswald. He had thought he would afterward pick hip up by this perfect ass and carry him over to the en-suite bathroom. He couldn't do it with his right arm in that stupid sling, of course. The end result was the same, though. They ended up in the huge Victorian bathtub together, Oswald resting comfortably against his chest humming a tune Edward had never heard before. It was perfect. He was perfect in the light of their stupid little lanterns and the few candles they had found and lit all around the room.

A part of him desperately wanted to talk about it but there was the more rational part of his mind that told him not to. He would only ruin the mood would he start dissecting the whole affair. They had sex and it had been the best thing imaginable. Better than anything Edward had ever been able to dream of.

»We need practice.« Oswald hummed after a while and turned his head just so that he could nuzzle his nose against Ed’s neck ever so slightly.

»Was it this bad?« Ed chuckled and couldn't help but gently brush the tips of his fingers over Oswald’s stomach just to see him flinch.

»No.« He hummed and pointed those big blue eyes at Ed again like a loaded gun. If he would be standing, his knees would probably go weak from that look alone. »But we have room to improve. And next time, we will take our time.«

 

**-End of Chapter 19-**


	20. Chapter 20

There were certain things that had changed a lot since Edward and he became a couple and even more since that fateful night at the van Dahl mansion after they first slept together. One of these things was that Edward became a lot more outgoing and cheerful, especially at the pool. Usually, it wouldn't bother Oswald at all. However, for the first time since they had started this training for his muscles, they were not completely alone at the pool but with one or two guys from the swimming team who had come earlier than their teammates.

»Awesome!« Ed cheered as he slapped his left hand against the tiles of the end of the pool on the other side of the room before turning and swimming back towards Edward. He was slow, especially compared to the professional swimmers around him who certainly thought how silly it was what they were doing.

Still, he fought his way through the water and perhaps Ed’s cheers even helped him in this regard a bit more than he was willing to admit. He would never tell him, of course. The last thing he would want was to boost his ego even more. Ed was a bit of a peacock, honestly. He liked praise and the more praise he would get the more confident and cocky he became. He was dressing sharper, wore his hair differently - all sleek and combed back. Not that he would complain. He liked this new confident Ed. It was definitely sexy. That he was living under Fish’s good influence now seemed to add to his rapid transformation from a larva into a butterfly as well, though. He could see her influence on him in the way he was dressing these days very clearly. Other people might have told Ed to tone it down a bit with the vibrant greens he liked to wear. Fish, on the other hand, was a person embracing those things.

Honestly, Oswald was a little amazed how much having sex could change a person, though. Because they both knew that, yes, the fact that they had fucked had only added to Ed’s transformation. And Oswald, for his part, though he himself did not feel much different now, liked the idea that he had provoked this change in Edward. Of course, he especially liked that so many of the girls in school were looking at Ed with newfound appreciation. The jealous little voice in the back of his head did not like this so much but he enjoyed knowing that he was the one at Ed’s side and not one of these girls. Walking hand in hand or arm in arm had never had much appeal to Oswald but suddenly this was different. He liked showing off his boyfriend. He liked telling the world that Edward was his now.

A part of him wanted to rub it in Isabella’s face. Of course, that had to wait until next year. According to Kristen, she had just safely arrived in Italy and would hopefully have a miserable time there just for what she had done to Edward. There was no chance that Oswald would ever forgive her for that no matter what Ed would decide to do when Isabella would return to America next year. As he reached Ed’s side of the pool again, his boyfriend would have clapped if he wouldn't have his right arm still in a sling.

»See! I told you that you were making progress!« Ed grinned widely while Oswald was clutching the edge of the pool as for dear life next to Ed’s naked legs dangling in the water, gasping and panting and too exhausted to be sassy.

»You are overreacting.« Oswald huffed breathlessly but not without a small little smirk pulling on his lips. There was no denying that it felt damn good to have someone believe in him like this, to have someone cheering him on like this. In Ed’s eyes, even the smallest things that Oswald would do or achieve seemed big and exciting. »It's nothing!«

»It's not nothing!« Ed smirked and splashed a bit of water into his face. »You outdid your best time _again_!« His excitement was contagious and so, in the end, Oswald found his own grin spreading like wildfire over his face in no time at all. »What is your’s but you can’t actually hold?«

He wanted to roll his eyes as Ed threw another riddle at him. Not that he would hate that he was doing it. By now, he had gotten used to it and it was actually quite endearing sometimes. Oswald was highly aware of the fact that Ed’s riddle obsession had only become stronger ever since the incident with his father. It was his way of coping. And until now, people had always only reacted with annoyance to his riddles or jokes. Oswald was determined not to be this way.

»I don't know.« He chuckled after a moment but his eyes, instead of rolling, were glued to Ed’s face. Weird how he had needed so long to realize how much he loved this man. Sometimes, he guessed, it was just impossible to see what’s right in front of you. »Tell me.«

»My heart.« He seemed way too proud of himself and his little riddle - and even prouder as this answer finally earned him a roll of his eyes and a splash of water against his thighs. However, Oswald grew aware of the looks the other kids around them shot them as they were just hanging around at the pool now.

He was exhausted and tired out of his mind. Still, getting out of the pool and getting changed meant that his time with Edward for today would be near over. At the very least he had arranged that the driver would pick him up at Fish’s place. So, he could still spend a bit more time with Ed later - to do his homework, of course.

»I would ask you to lend me a hand, but this would end in a disaster.« Oswald mocked gently as he slowly pulled himself out of the water. He was not fragile, after all. »But soon you are going to swim with me, right?« It was still a while until Edward would be able to use his arm fully again and it was quite the sight sometimes when his right hand would appear from underneath his shirts.

»Soon, yes.« Ed smiled. »We are sitting in the same boat then.«

He was just about to push his boyfriend into the pool for his crappy pun, as another voice disrupted the peace of the pool.

»I see you are making progress, huh?« He hadn't noticed how Jim had arrived at the pool. Weird how all of the sudden he had lost his spidey-senses that had always seemed to activate whenever Jim had entered the same room. Usually, the whole entire room seemed to light up whenever Jim walked in. Had this all changed because of Ed? How strange. And yet, Jim’s huge smile was still the same as he walked over to them just as Ed got to his feet as well and put his functioning arm around Oswald’s shoulder in that very much possessive gesture Oswald already got used to by now. It was funny how Ed still seemed to think he needed to mark his territory.

»He is making awesome progress.« Edward beamed. »Ten lapses today and he cut his time in half from last time.«

»See? I knew you would be in good hands with Ed.« Jim winked. »I am so proud of you, Oz. Of both of you, actually. Who would have thought you guys come this far in such short a time? Oh, before I forget, Lee asked me to ask you guys to a double date next Friday at the diner. It's your birthday, right Oswald?«

Only briefly, Oswald exchanged a small glance with Edward but to his biggest surprise, it was actually his boyfriend who smiled widely at Jim now. »It is!« He grinned.

»Well, after everything that happened this year, Lee thought that it would be nice to celebrate your birthday properly.« Jim then added and scratched his neck in that adorable, self-conscious manner that Oswald had previously attributed to Jim being bad at flirting. It was the first time in his life that anyone, except his mother, asked him if he wanted to do something on his birthday.

»Why not?« Oswald then decided as he glanced up at Edward once more.

A double date at the diner with Lee Thompkins and Jim Gordon. How odd. And yet they agreed to it. He knew that Ed was just as reluctant as he was. This was a first for both of them but apparently sharing their firsts with each other was kind of their thing.

It was his first birthday without his mother. The reality of that had hit him earlier on this Friday as he had walked into the dining room of his new home with a whole cake waiting for him already. His mother had made him pancakes every year for his birthday with loads of maple syrup and one single candle. Today, he had had a birthday cake for breakfast. Today, his younger siblings had sung happy birthday for him. Even Grace and his father had joined them like the happy little family they were supposed to be.

In school, he had been welcomed by Edward with a kiss and a hug and a birthday cupcake with green frosting. And yet, despite the love he was showered with throughout the day from Ed or Butch or even Jim, something was missing. He missed his mother’s off-key singing, he missed her waking him up on his birthday kissing his forehead. He missed her.

Of course, he missed her every day since her death but never had her loss been more crushing than on this day. At the very least, he had someone at his side who knew that pain and who was willing to go through it with him. It sometimes seemed so hard to actually allow himself to feel the way he felt, to allow the pain he was still in over his mother’s death. Yes, they had had their troubles and he knew now better than ever before that their relationship might have been a little toxic, his mother too controlling and possessive of him but that didn't change that she had been his whole world. That didn't change the fact that he could still see her bloody face when he closed his eyes. Perhaps the pain would never quite vanish, he thought. And the last thing he wanted to do was speak about it all the time. Maybe it was the fear of annoying people with his whining.

»So, Ed, did you decide on what college you wanna visit yet? I heard rumors you would leave the U.S. and go to Oxford?« Lee smiled over her burger and actually ripped Oswald from his idle thoughts. They had left the school together, Jim, Lee, Ed, and Oswald to drive to the nearby diner together in Jim’s car. After all, Ed still had his arm in a sling and Oswald still didn't know how to drive - something Butch really liked to tease him with. He was seventeen now, after all. A few months ago, he wouldn't have thought that he would actually get to see this day.

Oswald had not often talked to Lee Thompkins before this day, actually. She was in Ed and Jim’s year so Oswald and she did not share any classes. However, he had talked to her once or twice these past few months on occasion. She volunteered often in the nurse’s office and even before his accident, Oswald had been a frequent guest there. Half a year ago, he would not have thought that he would ever sit in this diner with Lee Thompkins or Jim Gordon.

»I don't know yet.« Ed replied and Oswald noticed the way he quickly glanced at him. »I want to stay close, actually. At least I want to stay in New York. I’m thinking Columbia - but I have not yet heard back from them.« It was pretty obvious that Edward wanted to stay closer to Gotham because of him. A part of him felt a little guilty about it. He didn't want to stand in the way of Ed’s success. He would never be able to forgive himself if Ed would not go to his dream college just because of him.

»What about you, Ozzie?« Jim turned towards him. »Do you know what you want to do after school?«

»I will probably start working for Fish. She wants to open a nightclub and I could start working for her. I have a knack for financial stuff. I might become her bookkeeper or something like that.« It was not that he was not an ambitious guy, he was just not an academics guy - unlike Edward. He had never dreamed of going to college, study and get some fancy title. He could hardly wait for school to be over. He would gladly drop out next year and follow Edward all across the country if necessary but that wouldn't be healthy now would it?

»Sounds good!« Jim grinned. »I can see it before my very eyes - you in some sharp suit hovering over her books like a hawk.«

Having this double date at the diner was actually quite nice. Of course, his father had wanted to throw a nice little party but when Oswald had asked him if he might stay the night at Fish’s he had just agreed with a smile and given him money to invite his friends. This was also very new to Oswald. His mother and he had never had much money, after all. And even if he had had friends before, she would have never had enough spare money lying around to give it to him so that he might pay for dinner for his friends. So much had changed in so little time. Sometimes he felt as if he was getting whiplash from it.

Not that it was a bad thing. He had lost his mother, yes, and that loss pained him every day but he had found a new family and he could appreciate the luck he had. Had his mother not died, he would probably still be the same Oswald he had been before the summer, without friends, without Edward, still lusting after Jim Gordon without a chance in the world that Jim would actually ever know that he existed.

As if he knew that Oswald’s thoughts were wandering again, Edward nudged him gently with his right elbow as much as the sling allowed him to. »Would you help me?« It was meant as a distraction and Oswald knew this. Of course, Ed was useless with his left hand when it came to cutting stuff up and so eating steak or pizza was his secret little nightmare but Oswald was very aware that he only wanted to distract him from his thoughts.

Still, Oswald leaned over to help him cut his steak into smaller pieces like the good boyfriend he was. »So, Jim, did you already got news from the academy?« Ed turned his attention back to Jim then. He seemed a lot calmer in Jim’s presence tonight. Perhaps it was because Jim had not taken his arm from around Leslie’s shoulders ever since they had sat down together and looked at her like a lost puppy everytime she opened her mouth. She was smart and pretty and much kinder than Barbara as well, which was probably not that much of a surprise, he wanted to say. Still, it was easy to see why Jim fell for her.

»He got accepted.« Lee beamed proudly in response before Jim could even open his mouth. »He will start his training right after graduation and become a proper cop.«  

Since Ed couldn't drive, Jim had offered that he and Lee would drop them off later that evening. Of course, since he was sleeping at Fish’s house, his former foster mother had prepared a small little party of her own for him, which was why they went to the diner right after school. To Oswald, it was a completely new experience to be surrounded by so many people who actually _wanted_ to celebrate with him on that day. And, from the way Edward behaved throughout the double date, he could tell that this was all new for his boyfriend as well.

It was only as they were leaving that Oswald stayed behind for a moment to pay up and quickly use the restroom. When he entered the small restroom, all urinals were already in use or in a state that Oswald decided against them. He had never been a fan of those things, to begin with. After all, his mother had made sure to raise him into a proper gentleman. So the decision to quickly enter one of the stalls had been easy enough. It was only a few seconds after he had entered the stall that he heard the other guys leaving and two new men entering the restroom. The moment the door fell shut behind them, they started arguing. First, they spoke in hushed but clearly agitated voices. However, as he left his stall a few minutes later, they were almost shouting at each other. Well, having people argue in a public restroom was not that uncommon, he supposed. And yet, he recognized the voices right away.

»You can't stay here!« One of the men yelled and just by the sound of it, Oswald concluded that the young man had punched a dent into the metal towel dispenser. »Come on, Jerry! You can’t stay behind and leave me just like this!«

»I’m not leaving you, Jay!«

 _Jay_ and _Jerry_. He remembered hearing those little nicknames for all his life ever since he had first met the Valeska twins in elementary school. Good to realize that some things never changed. He remembered Jerome calling his brother _Jabber Jaws_ when he was mad at him and how much he had wished to have his own brother to torture like this.  

»I just want to finish school without being dragged all across the country all the time! I like it here! I want to stay here!«

»So you _are_ leaving me!« Jerome thundered and it was the first time in what seemed to be a lifetime, that Oswald thought he could hear real, raw emotion in his voice. Jerome was royally pissed at his brother but more than that he seemed actually hurt.

»Well, it's not me who wants to stay at the circus!«

»Do you really believe I want nothing more than waste my opportunities and my life at the circus? Or rather stay with mom? Jerry, come on, Man! You can't leave me alone like this! Mom is driving me crazy! If you aren't around anymore I might actually kill that bitch!« Oswald tried to be silent and not draw attention towards him but as he tried to slowly close the door of his stall again, it gave an audible squeak. »Fuck!« Jerome hissed and he could hear his steps coming closer towards the stalls without much hesitation. Jerome had never been a fan of other people sticking their noses in his personal private business. After all, he had a role to play for the rest of the world. There was no sense in hiding now, so instead, he stepped out of the stall to face Jerome head on. After all, what could Jerome do to him now?

»Pengy!« Jerome’s face lit up in a fake sinister grin. For once, he did not buy into it at all and because he didn't, his grin did not touch him at all. There was no nervous twinge to his stomach, no feeling of vertigo. It was clear to Oswald at this very moment that Jerome was putting on an act for him now the way he leaned into the doorframe between the stalls and the urinal area. »So … How much did you hear, huh?«

»Going like a bull at a gate, aren't we?« Oswald huffed quietly. »I heard that you were planning on killing your mother. Can’t say that I can relate to that. You see, my mother loved me without condition. Then again, I know that you and your mother have quite the strained relationship.«

Jeremiah, standing behind his brother, looked like he was having a stroke as he nervously and very jittery adjusted his glasses but Oswald just brushed past Jerome and towards the sink to wash his hands. It was best not to show any kind of nervousness in Jerome’s presence. Like a dog, he could smell fear.

»Well, what can I say? My mother is a whore.« Jerome snickered and followed him to the sinks to lean against the one right next to Oswald.

»Anyway« Oswald cut him off quickly just as he realized that Jerome was going to open his mouth again. He made quite the show out of drying his hands on a paper towel he pulled from the dented dispenser. »I think you should just stay in Gotham if you really don't want to stay at the circus without your brother.«

»Nobody asked you, Freak.«

»No.« He smiled pleasantly. After all, living with Grace gave him a lot of practice in this regard. »And I know that you won't follow my advice anyway because you are too much of a coward, right? Your brother, on the other hand, has always been the smarter twin. He knows what's best for him and his future. Jeremiah probably has a great life and career ahead of him but you … Well, you are going to stay with the circus and become as much of a loser as your uncle Zach.«

»You should better watch your tongue or I make you lick the toilet bowl you just used.«

»It's all easier said than done anyway.« Jeremiah finally spoke up, interrupting the two former friends before things could heat up and his brother actually follow through with his threat. »I would love to agree with you, Oswald. However, what chances do we actually have in staying behind in Gotham? It's not like we could just stay.«

»You guys are seventeen. If necessary you could get emancipated until you are eighteen.« He shrugged. »Of course … I could help you out with a few names or addresses if you would really want to stay behind in Gotham and not leave with the circus again.«

»We don't need your help.« Jerome hissed. »We are perfectly fine at the circus. Come on Jeremiah, we have to head back. The others are waiting for their food. Don't forget that they rely on us. Not everyone can live in a big fancy house, right?«

He hadn't expected any other reaction from Jerome. He knew him long enough to know that his pride was standing in his way. And yet, as Jerome left the restroom with stomping feet,  Jeremiah stayed behind for just a second longer. He was a much timider young man than his older twin - which was hardly a surprise with someone like Jerome as his brother. »I appreciate your help.« Jeremiah actually smiled as he adjusted his thick glasses nervously. »I apologize for my brother.«

»If you really want to stay in Gotham, I can ask Miss Mooney for help.«

※※※※※※※

He wouldn't deny that he had grown a bit nervous as Oswald had taken such a long time to leave the diner and the moment he saw the Valeska twins leave the place before Oswald did, he was ready to jump on Jerome and beat the living shit out of him with just his left hand. He hadn't realized that the twins had been in the diner before but now he was certain that Jerome had probably attacked Oswald yet again. However, just as he wanted to jump out of Jim’s car, he saw how Oswald hurried out of the diner and towards them.

As he watched Oswald approach, he could not help but notice how much better his limp had become by now. There was a certain sense of pride swelling in his chest at this thought. After all, it was partly his achievement as well as it was Oswald's, right?

Soon, he figured, Oswald might not even need his crutch any longer. His leg would never stop hurting, of course, but at least he had a chance of getting it under control. In the end, as Oswald reached them, Edward swallowed the question that was on his tongue. He didn't want to discuss any Jerome related business in front of either Lee or Jim and he was sure that Oswald didn't want this either.

A little while later, after Jim and Lee had dropped them off at Fish’s place and after they had had a little celebration with Fish and Butch as well, he had Oswald in his bed again and was wondering just how he had ever been able to exist without him in his bed like this before. Kissing Oswald was like snorting cocaine. Already, he had become highly addicted to it. They were lying in the dark, their bodies flush against another in their pajamas, one of Oswald’s thin legs nestled between his as they both wanted to be impossibly close.

»I never asked« Oswald mumbled against his lips as unwilling to break their kiss as Ed was. »when your birthday is.«

There were many things they hadn't talked about yet and still it was this simple question about his birthday that surprised Ed the most for some reason. »December.«

»A Christmas present?«

»No, I ruined New Year’s Eve.« And his father had never let him forget that either.

»I love you for that.« Oswald chuckled. Ed, however, kept wondering if Oswald had any inkling of what his words did to him. He knew that they were both starved for attention, love, and affection. Ed possibly more so than Oswald. It had been inevitable that they would fall for each other. Perhaps their relationship was even borderline unhealthy but why should he care? He was happy and Oswald too seemed happy. What more did they need?

Fish had pretty strict rules for them in her house and Ed did not really want to break any of them. Still, he found his hand snaking between their bodies and into Oswald’s pajama bottoms. The gasp that tore from his throat was already rewarding enough to Ed. It kept getting harder and harder to keep his fingers away from Oswald these days, ever since he had first gotten a taste of his boyfriend. He had spent so much time forgoing carnal pleasure like this and now that the lid of Pandora's box had been opened, it was impossible to put it back on. At least Oswald seemed to feel the same way judging by how he moved to meet Ed’s hand as he found his already half-hard cock. A soft moan escaped his own lips as his fingertips brushed over the hot flesh.

»Ed!« Oswald groaned but Ed playfully bit down on his bottom lip.

»Shush - or do you want Fish to hear us?« The next moan that tore from Oswald’s throat was swallowed by yet another sloppy little kiss. He couldn't get enough of it. Oswald was so god damn responsive to his every touch. Already he felt his own cock stir in his boxer shorts and cursed his father once more from robbing him of one arm. At least he had gotten quite a bit better with his left hand - when it came to jerking Oswald off at the very least. He wondered if this was a skill set to be proud of or not. Then again, he quite enjoyed bringing pleasure to his boyfriend so he _should_ probably be proud of this skill.

The next sound Oswald made as he wrapped his fingers around his cock tightly was almost desperate. He would be the death of Edward for certain. No matter how hard he seemed to try, Oswald was unable to stifle his moans in the silence of his former room with Butch sleeping right on the other side of that wall and Fish rummaging through the kitchen cupboards downstairs. It seemed so much more forbidden than as they had sex at the mansion. Perhaps because there was always this chance of getting caught in this house.

»I want to fuck you so badly.« Ed hummed against Oswald’s panting mouth and rewarded Oswald for his next breathless moan with another stroke down his cock. The resulting kiss was hungry and wet. Oswald’s pupils were blown even in the darkness of the room. He couldn't see his flushed cheeks but he knew that he was burning up. He bucked into Ed’s hand impatiently, his long fingers digging into Ed’s scalp almost painfully. He was a loud one, that much Ed already knew and it was almost too amusing to Ed to have him so desperate now - so unable to actually make noise as much as he wanted to.

However, as Ed traced the pad of his thumb along the head, he was almost unable to stop himself to moan a bit louder than before. The only way Oswald could stop himself from doing so was that he actually clamped his hand over his mouth. Ed sped up his strokes, almost unable to hold himself back any longer as Oswald was so clearly desperate for his touch.

Oswald tumbled over the edge so hard that he had to screw his eyes shut and might have screamed had he not bitten down on his own hand in time. As Ed retrieved his hand from Oswald’s pajama bottoms he made a clear statement out of licking every last drop from his fingers. »Happy birthday.« He chuckled under Oswald’s scandalized stare.

Of course, he earned himself a gentle slap against his shoulder from Oswald for those words but it had been completely worth it. He couldn’t get enough of him, that was the sad truth and he still could not quite believe his luck that Oswald was actually his now. And - god - he liked the attention in school. He basked in it! He had always liked attention but now it was a whole other world. He loved it how the other kids in school would look at them when they would walk down the hallway arm in arm or hand in hand or when he would steal one or two kisses from his boyfriend before class. There always was this jealous little voice in the back of his head when he noticed the other guys stare at Oswald. And yet his pride weighed heavier than this. Oswald was his now. He had won against James Gordon and Oswald was only looking at him.

»You haven't told me why you took so long at the diner yet.« He hummed into the darkness after he wrapped his arm around Oswald again. »I saw the Valeskas leave before you. I was afraid Jerome did something to you.«

»I don't think that I need to fear Jerome anymore, Ed.« Oswald mumbled quietly against his skin before rearranging himself in the narrow bed and forcing Ed to lie on his back so that he could snuggle into his side instead. He fit all too perfectly into his arm like this. »I think he understood that his anger towards me and his attacks were useless. No … Apparently, Jeremiah wants to stay in Gotham. He doesn't want to go with the circus anymore - not that I could blame him. However, Jerome does not want to go without his brother. At least in some way, he seems to love Jeremiah, after all. Besides, he absolutely hates their mother.«

»So? What does that have to do with you?« There it was again, the old little jealousy creeping up on him. Of course, Oswald had told him all about the latest developments in his Jerome-business. He knew that Jerome was only one of the guys who would look at Oswald when they thought he wouldn't notice.

»I told them that I would ask Fish to help them.«

»What?« He wanted to sit up straight but the laziness of their position made it impossible. »They are not moving into this house, Oz!«

»I didn't mean it like that.« Oswald snorted. »Of course, they are not moving into this house. I meant that Fish might be able to set them up with the right people to get emancipated and find a place to live.«

»Why do you even care? Jerome tormented you for years.«

»And yet we were friends until I ruined it all.« Maybe his heart was just too big or too soft for his own good. He, however, didn't like the idea that Oswald might find sympathy for this monster in his heart. »And I think … If Jerome goes with his mother and does not have his brother with him … Let’s be honest here, he already is a ticking time bomb, right? I don't want to see what will become of him if he is left to his own devices and without his brother’s good influence. He might still be able to turn his life around.«

»You are too good for the world, Ozzie.« He found himself mumbling as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. »And I love you for it. You always see the good in people … In a freak show like me … Even in someone as bad as Jerome.«

»That's not true.« Oswald replied right away. »You are no more of a freak show than I am, first of all. And secondly … I don't always see the good in people. Believe me, as soon as Isabella comes back to Gotham I kick her ass and I don't care that she’s a girl. I am gay, I am allowed to slap her across the room for what she did to you.«

»You are going to protect my honor? I am flattered.«

»Someone has to.« He chuckled quietly. »You would be lost without me.«

Oh, just how true that was. He didn't know where he would be now without him. Maybe this was a strange thought to have, after all, they were only friends for three months and dating for a couple of weeks by this point. Still, he felt his life would look a whole lot differently had he never tried to become Oswald’s friend in the first place. Would he still be with Isabella? Would she have stayed in Gotham instead of going to Europe? There was this bitter, dark little voice in the back of his head that told him all the evil little things he did not want to think about. He knew that he wasn't his father but there was no denying that he had many of his father’s violent tendencies buried deep within himself. What if Isabella had pushed him to the point of no return? He could almost picture himself with his hands wrapped tightly around her pale throat.

»I found something.« Edward muttered into the darkness of the room after a while, unsure if Oswald was even still awake. »I actually wanted to tell you the whole day already but I didn't want to ruin the mood.«

»Now you have me scared.« Oswald mumbled sleepily and propped himself up just a bit to look at him in the faint light of the street lamps outside. »Is it about my grandmother’s death?«

»Yes.« He sighed and brushed his left hand through Oswald’s hair. It had grown quite a bit ever since the end of the summer but he liked it a little longer and messier the best anyway. »I read all the letters Grace wrote her lover. She didn't outright tell him that she killed your grandma … She just wrote ‘The old lady is dealt with’. For me, that sounds very much like an admission, though. And she told her lover about how she found out about you a few years ago actually. She took care of the finances of the family, after all, and one day she noticed the monthly payments from your grandma to your mother and started playing detective. She said it was easy to find out about you. She actually went to the place you and your mom were living at and watched you guys for a while. She expressed her fear to her lover that, if Elijah would ever find out about you, he might give all his money to you. Turns out her family is broke. She won’t inherit a penny when her parents are dead. Your grandmother knew this, apparently, as she arranged the marriage. She just wanted to make sure your father would marry into a well-established family of the Gotham high society and not someone as, in her eyes, low-class as your mother.«

In the half-light of the room, Oswald’s face was unreadable but he seemed calm - maybe forcefully so while Edward was still petting his hair gently.

»Grace feared that Elijah would put you at the top of his priorities after all that time he missed with you. And would he ever find out that Sasha and Charles aren’t his kids that he would divorce her and erase them from his last will altogether. In her letters, she actually spoke about how she thought about just killing you and your mother. Setting fire to your apartment or cutting the brakes of your mother’s car.« There was a gasp tearing from Oswald’s throat. He didn't need to be a telepath to know what thoughts were running through Oswald’s head.

»Listen … That was five years ago, Oz. That doesn't make it any better, of course, but I don't know if she had anything to do with your accident. If so, she would have probably acted sooner. She didn't say anything about it to her lover either. Maybe your accident was just that, in the end - an accident. She told her lover that she read about the accident in the newspaper and then hid the article from Elijah. She told him that your mother died but that you were still alive and how easy it would be for her to sneak into your hospital room and switch off the machines or suffocate you. She told him that she actually went to the hospital one time and how she saw a _CPS lady_ there. Back then, she didn't know who Fish was, of course. Who knows … had Fish not been there … she might have done something. Anyway, your grandmother found out that Grace knew about you shortly after the accident and how they fought about what to do next. Your grandmother wanted to tell Elijah if you would pull through and live. If not, she didn't want to burden him with a dead son. However, you did pull through and you did live and so she decided to tell him to make you a part of the family. Needless to say, she died after that.«

»So Grace actually killed her.«

»Listen, we don't have proof of that, Oswald. I mean, yes, it's pretty much cut and dry, isn’t it? Yet, your grandmother was in her eighties. She could have tripped and fallen as was determined by the coroner. Maybe it was just a happy accident for Grace.«

»But we don't believe that, do we?«

»No, we don't. She killed her. I am pretty sure that she did and that's just one more reason to be very careful, Oswald.« He didn't want to scare him but after everything he had read in the past week he now had a pretty good impression of Grace’s character and to what lengths she was willing to go to get what she wanted. He was scared for Oswald’s safety. Simple as that. »We just don't know what she is capable of if pushed against a wall. She will find out that her letters are gone sooner or later and then she might lash out. You are living under the same roof as her, you need to be careful.«

»I’m going to lock my door at night from now on.«

It was little comfort but it had to suffice for the start. Of course, Edward would much rather keep him here in his arms where he would be safe.

 

**-End of Chapter 20-**


	21. Chapter 21

It was a particularly gloomy day in Gotham - not that most days weren't gloomy in Gotham. The first weekend in December had hit the city hard with the first wave of snow and frost. Winter had come with the turn of the calendar from November to December. It wasn't quite enough snow yet to enable the kids of the neighborhood to build the first snowmen of the year but enough to keep Ed from driving to Oswald as the roads out of the city were blocked from the unexpected snowfall. At least Butch shared his fate as they sat together in silent company in the living room of Fish’s house while she was out with a friend unbothered by the weather. They usually wouldn't talk much but they understood each other in sighs and grunts over the mindless pre-holiday and post-holy-turkey-day TV program. It was torture.

»So, Tabby is gone the entire weekend, huh?«

Butch just grunted his response before he actually made an effort to speak over some infomercial for the infamous freezie-wrap. A nice and very welcome change from the sauna pants. »Some charity thing with the family.«

»Sucks.« Ed hummed in sympathy.

»Oz?«

»Snowed in out there with his family.« He hadn't talked about the Grace-situation to anyone except Oswald, of course, but his ever anxious brain made it quite hard to keep it that way now. He desperately wanted to tell Butch all about it - or fish for that matter. After everything he had learned about that wretched woman, he did not trust her one bit. What if she had already found out that Oswald had found out her secret and would do something to him?

»Poor sod.«

»I’m worried. That stepmom of his is…«

»A bitch.« Butch huffed with only the hint of actual humor. Then again, Butch had met Grace before.

»Yes…« He sighed. Hell, Butch had no idea how right he was. There was a knock at the front door before any of them could speak again. Shortly, they shared a surprised look before Ed got up from the couch and walked to the door. Fish wouldn't knock usually and he did not expect her to return to the house before dinner time. If they were lucky, she would actually bring takeaway from that Chinese place down the street. He couldn't quite deny that alarm bells were going off in his head at first but then he decided to pay them no mind. After all, who would come to this house with ill intentions anyway?

The visitor on the other side of the door truly took him by surprise and made him almost slam the door shut right away again before his brain even had time to grasp the situation fully. »Good to see you, Son.« Seeing his father after weeks for the first time again, seeing his father after what he had done to him, had him shell-shocked. »You look good, Edward.«

His father looked different. That was the very first thing that he noticed about his old man in front of the backdrop of a Gotham covered in snow. He was wearing his work coveralls as usual but for once they were clean and freshly washed, he had had a shower before coming here, his hair was neatly combed back, his face looked less grey and blotchy and had a healthy pink glow to it. It seemed that the last time he had seen him like this had been when his mother had still been alive.

He looked good. He looked healthy. He looked normal. Maybe that was even more terrifying to Edward. And yes, as he looked at his father now he was just that: _terrified_. He was not afraid of the man per se, he didn't care if his father was going to lash out on him again. It was the fact that he had shown up here, Ed’s new safe haven, his sanctuary from the cruel reality of the world - the unpredictability of the situation as a whole.

If there was one thing Edward Nygma was known for, it was his affinity for solving riddles and puzzles of all kinds. He loved the challenge, the harder the better, actually. However, his father's sudden and unannounced visit to this house was a puzzle he did not want to actually solve. For once, he just wanted to slam the door shut in his father's face but before he could do so, his father actually wedged his foot between door and threshold as if reading his son’s mind.

»What the fuck do you want?« Ed finally regained his ability to speak only to hiss at him.

»Ed, listen … I know I fucked up, okay? I've gone too far! I understand that you are angry! But I changed. I promise, I changed. Look! I am actually sober now!«

»Congratulations!« He scoffed. »Have a nice life then.«

»Ed please listen to me! I’m here because I want you to come home with me. We still have a chance to make it all better, right?« He was actually pleading with him. How … odd. How strange! How completely out of character! His father had never fought for anything or anyone ever! Why would he start now? It seemed so wrong, so out of place.

»What?«

»I mean look at this place! A boy should be with his father, right? This is no proper home for you! We can still turn it all around, find you a nice proper girlfriend, go fishing on the weekend and start over fresh!«

For a second there, Ed was actually sure that he had a stroke and was now somewhere in limbo between life and death. Fishing on the weekend with his father? He had heard that right, hadn't he? His father actually asked him to come back home to him so that they could go fishing on the weekends together. They had never done anything like that. Not even as his mother had still been alive and his father actually slightly interested in him at all.

»Are you kidding me?« Getting angry because his father wanted him to find a nice girlfriend would be fruitless. He would never change when it came to stuff like this. He would never accept his son like he was and so there really was not much of a point in arguing with him about it. What really was infuriating to Ed was, however, that his father really seemed to think that they would be able to go back to normal just like this! And what would ‘going back to normal’ even mean for them? His dad might be sober right now but it was still early in the day, barely afternoon, and he knew that his man was incapable of truly staying sober. Soon enough he would be back to his usual self again - his usual drinking violent self. There would be no way around it and no one knew this better than Ed. He had lived through it, after all. He had seen it all before.

»Ed … Son … Please, now don't be so stubborn. We both know what I am right, don't we? You must see that I am right and that you will be better off at home where you belong. Hey, listen, I talked to my foreman yesterday and he promised me you could come in after the holidays to show him what you got! He will put in a good word for you with the boss if you manage to convince him! Isn't this great news?«

He could hear the heavy sounds of Butch’s footsteps behind him. Certainly, the other boy was growing curious what was taking Ed so long. Never had Ed felt more grateful for Butch’s presence in the house. A part of him felt pathetic but he was actually glad that Butch was here. He felt protected in a sense. If his father would try anything, Butch would probably not let anything bad happen to him.

»I'm going to Columbia, Dad. They offer me a full scholarship.« Of course, he had not gotten the letter yet but his dad was the last person who would need to know that. »I am not going back home and I am not going to work at the factory like you. And now get the fuck away from me! You cannot just come here and act as if everything is okay again! Not after what you’ve done to me! You didn't even apologize once and now you expect me to go home with you so that you can beat me up again?«

He felt Butch's presence in the hallway behind him without him even saying a word and before his father's eyes could flicker over at him for a second before returning to Ed’s face.

»Are you serious? You can not honestly want to stay here! I mean how does that look to our neighbors and friends? Can you imagine what my coworkers will say to this if they find out that my son lives with some black whore and some kid from the fucking ghetto? As if it wouldn't already be bad enough that my colleagues have seen you with that gay little freak! I was made a mockery by my own friends because of this! How do you suppose I am to convince them that my son is not some lousy little assfucker?«

It was as his father actually lunged forward and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt that Butch too made a move forward from behind Ed and inserted himself into the situation without any hesitation at all.

»Okay, that's enough!« He bellowed as he wedged himself between father and son so quickly that his father had to let go of him automatically. It was as if a wall had suddenly been erected between his father and him. To his dad, it must look like being confronted with a raging bull ready to go in for the attack. »You better get going now, Sir.«

»Or else?« His father huffed. »Is my son so little of a man that he now needs you to protect him from me?«

»Or else I am going to feed you your teeth, Mr. Nygma.« Butch grunted with that deep voice of his. No reasonable person would ever want to mess with someone like Butch Gilzean. Not even his father would be stupid enough to try anything. »We don't like assholes who beat up their kids in this house. I think the report Miss Mooney filed against you spoke very clearly of that, Sir. You are not allowed to come near Ed until this case against you is settled properly.«

»This _case_ « He laughed. »Is over and done with before you know it and then neither you nor that nasty woman can keep my son from me!«

»We’ll see, won't we?« Before his father had a chance to protest, Butch had slammed the door in his face and as he began pounding at the wood and yelling profanities, Butch just put a hand on Ed’s shoulder and forced him to turn away from the door. »Come, I make tea.«

»I don't need-«

»Yes, you do actually.« Butch sighed and led him to the kitchen still under the sound of his father’s rage. Edward’s legs had never felt heavier as he followed Butch into the kitchen and finally sat down at the table.

»I wouldn't have thought that I would ever see him again…« He mumbled. It was not quite an apology for his father's behavior. After all, why would he apologize for his father's behavior? It had not been him who had asked him to come to this house and attack them. Yet, he was horribly embarrassed by everything his father had just done and said. And he was embarrassed because Butch had to swoop in and save him. He hadn't even been able to protect himself. How was he supposed to protect Oswald from Grace then when it came to it?

»It's not your fault.« Butch said as he put the kettle on the stove. It was almost as if he had been reading his mind just then. Did he really know just how uncomfortable Edward truly felt or was it just instinct? A part of him wanted to brush him off and stand his ground, act unfazed. He couldn't. He thought of Oswald and in what situation he was in. Oswald was so much braver than he was. He would have never cowed in front of his father or Grace or anyone like this. No, Oswald would have stood his ground as he had with Jerome Valeska.

»I feel so … stupid.« Ed groaned after a long pause. »I thought … after I fought back against him last time, I would be free from his influence, free from the fear he has instilled in me before. But then he comes to our door and I feel like a little boy again, unable to do anything right. If it hadn't been for you … I don't know what would have happened.«

»You should be proud of yourself, Ed.« Butch muttered turning away from the stove to face him instead.

»Proud?« He scoffed. »Proud of what?«

»You did not cower from him. You stood your ground just now. You kept your calm and did not give into his provocations. It would have been fatal if you had.« He paused for a second and let his eyes wander across the room before he found Ed’s face again. This whole situation was highly uncomfortable. They were acquaintances and they were living under the same roof but friends … No. Perhaps. Were they friends? »Listen, I know how hard it can be to face off with an abuser. I did not come to Fish right away after my family’s death, you know? I lived with my aunt and uncle for a little while - not even a year, actually. My uncle … Let's just say, your father reminds me of him quite a bit. He was a drunkard, an abuser. He beat my auntie, he beat his kids, he beat me. That was until one of my teachers actually intervened and got CPS involved. That's how I came to Fish. I never found the courage to go against my uncle, though. I never even found the courage to protect my younger cousins from him even.«

»Why are you helping me, Butch? Why are you telling me all of this?«

»Because I was wrong about you in the past, Ed, and I'm sorry about that.« Butch words took him by surprise once more as he allowed his head to drop forward a bit as if in shame for just a moment before regaining his posture again. »I always thought you were a bit of a freak and I didn't like it when you befriended Oswald. I thought ‘that poor guy has gone through enough this year. He does not need someone like Ed Nygma to drag him down’. I see now how wrong I truly was. I have never seen Oswald so happy.«

Ed was not quite sure where this conversation was going to but apparently Butch had a point to make here so he decided to stay silent and watched the kettle vibrating on the stove instead while Butch was fidgeting with his hands.

»I thought you were just some little freak, right? But it takes balls to confront your tormentor like this and it takes balls to follow your heart as you did. It would have been much easier for you to go out with Kristen and yet you decided that you wanted Oswald.« It hadn't been as easy as Butch made it sound like now. But who was Ed to tell him about how much he had struggled to actually come to terms with his real feelings for his younger friend?

As the kettle started whistling, Ed still didn't quite know what to say to all of this. And so, instead of saying anything at all, he just forced a little smile at Butch. It wasn’t much but it was a start.

※※※※※※※

Ever since Edward and he had found the briefcase, Oswald was waiting for the other shoe to drop. From the moment Ed had left with the briefcase, he had known that Grace would find out. So, coming home from school each day since had been like walking a tightrope. Every time he would walk through that door, he was afraid to walk straight into the lion's den. However, for two weeks nothing at all had happened - and that made it all only more stressful for some odd reason.

Being snowed in at home made his stress level rise to a new maximum. He had always loved the snow growing up in downtown Gotham when the snow would it make it impossible for most people to drive their cars down the streets and thus allow the children to actually play in the snow without restriction. However, since the accident, the cold was like poison for his mangled leg. It was seeping into his messed up bones and forced him to lay low - which was something he should be doing anyway as long as he didn't know if Grace had already found out about his little thievery.

Oswald had holed himself up in the winter garden with a blanket wrapped around him and a book he was trying to read after Ed had demanded over and over again that he should give it a go. He was watching the snow fall outside as it was slowly suffocating the world around the mansion under a thick white blanket, isolating the inhabitants from the rest of society. Thoughts of his mother came to him without a warning at this. Memories of long walks in a snow-covered park in downtown, of baking cookies in their small kitchen, of Christmas carols being played over and over on the radio in their tiny apartment.

It was quiet inside the house. Last time he checked, Charles had been watching TV in the living room and Sasha had been upstairs in her room talking on the phone with one of her boyfriends - judging by the high pitched laughter that Oswald had heard as he had walked past her door. His father was in his study and Grace was doing God knows what around the house - probably checking if the servants were doing a proper job. She could often be seen putting on white gloves and dragging a finger over the mantlepiece in the parlor or some shelf to check if the maid had cleaned properly. Needless to say, Grace was never satisfied with the results. Oswald, for the most part, liked to spend his time in the winter garden whenever he could not go outside for a walk or would not be in his own room. Just a little while ago, before his mother's death and even after he first began living with Fish, he had spent his time holed up at home and in his room for the most part. After all, there had been no friends to spend time with, right? Nothing to do except read and entertain his mother.

Things were different now and not just because he had a boyfriend for the first time in his life. Still, he couldn't deny that he was missing Ed. Maybe a bit more so than usual too this weekend. However, as he was watching the snow outside, Ed’s revelations about Grace’s involvement in the death of his grandmother, haunted him again. He had known from the moment she had attacked him for his sexuality that Grace van Dahl was a dangerous woman. Now, he had proof of that as it seemed. These days he found himself watching her even more closely than before. He would be watching her every move when Grace would walk up to his father to give him the medicine for his heart, would watch her put the pill bottle away and go her own way.

And whenever his father would catch him staring he would misinterpret Oswald’s suspicion for concern and affirm him softly that he would stick around for much longer. After all, they had just met each other and so his father was of the opinion that he could not possibly die before having spent years with his firstborn son first. By now, Oswald had learned that his father was suffering from a hole in his heart, from demons eating away on it, as he so poetically liked to state. In Oswald’s eyes, the only demon eating away at his heart was Grace. He had no proof of his stepmother harming his father, of course.

Yet, it was undoubtedly the case that his father’s condition had worsened ever since Oswald came to live with them.

The sound of high heels clicking on the expensive hardwood floor announced Grace’s arrival at the winter garden much before she could actually raise her voice to address him in that nasal tone of her’s that made it now impossible for Oswald to understand how he could ever have liked her before. How had he not seen her true colors before? A part of him, ever since the revelation that his siblings were not his siblings, wondered if Charles might have gone behind his back to tell his mother about Oswald’s insecurities about his sexuality. He didn't wish to think that his stepbrother had betrayed his trust like this and yet, why wouldn't he? Sasha would have had no qualms doing just that.

»Your father wishes to see you.« Grace said as she stopped in the doorway of the winter garden. »Something about a suit.« She pursed her lips at this last word as if speaking to him alone would make her stomach turn in disgust. Oswald, being the good son that he was, quickly put his book on the small side table beside the comfortable rattan chair and folded the blanket he had been using over the armrest.

»Of course.« He muttered with the sweetest little smile he was still able to muster after everything he had learned about this nasty woman before him. »I’m going to see him right away.«

»Oh, I hoped I could borrow a moment of your time, actually.« Grace repaid his smile with one of her own.

»For what?«

She glanced back over her shoulder before she stepped closer - in fact so close that she only stopped as they were only inches apart. Her face, ever the wrinkle-preventing mask had something sinister about it as she narrowed her eyes at him now - like a snake looking down on a small mouse. »I know that you stole from me, Oswald.«

»I’m afraid I don't know what you mean, Grace. I think you might be forgetting yourself.« Despite his words and clear warning, he kept his voice soft and his smile sweet. His eyes, on the other hand, were made of ice just like hers.

»Don't play dumb.« She hissed. »You know what I mean. I am talking about the briefcase in my nightstand, Oswald. You took it. No one else could have done it.«

»These are very heavy accusations, Gracie, and I am afraid that you don't have any proof to cement your claims, huh? Anyway, what business would I have checking your nightstand?«

Oh, the look she gave him was beyond nasty but all the more priceless now. They both knew that the other person knew. Of course, she knew Oswald had taken the briefcase and thus she also knew that Oswald knew what had been inside that briefcase. There was no secret left to uncover between them now. All cards were on the table and yet speaking about it openly seemed still impossible. He couldn't forget what he had learned from those letters, after all. If Grace had truly killed his grandmother then what would keep her from killing him and make it look like an accident?

»However, if I would have taken that briefcase you are talking about … what would I have found inside? Whatever is inside of it seems very important if the loss of the briefcase and its contents seems to enrage you so.«

She clenched her lips into a very tight line at his words and Oswald knew that she would not say a thing about the letters. Of course not, she was smarter than this. This was an old house and old houses had the habit of providing many nooks and crannies where people might hide and listen in to a conversation that should stay secret - especially on conversations that should stay secret.

»Well, I’m afraid I can't help you, Grace. Feel free to look for this ominous briefcase in my room if you must but I can assure you that I do not have this thing.« He smiled a full-tooth shark-like grin as he leaned in much closer until Grace would be able to feel his breath ghost against her high cheekbone as he all but whispered into her ear. »You know that I am always here for you, right? If you ever need a shoulder to lean onto or someone to listen to you, you do know that you can come to me, right? I may be overstepping my boundaries here, Grace, but I just think that keeping secrets from those you love - especially secrets that you deem necessary to hide away - is never a good idea. Secrets, especially those of a darker nature, have the tendency to sooner or later come back to bite us.«

He stepped around Grace without giving her even a second longer to react to his words as he left the winter garden to go and find his father. Elijah van Dahl was still in his private study right next to the library. However, as his father saw him he rose from his desk with a smile lighting up his face before he hurried over to the door. »I have to show you something, my dear boy.« He seemed uncharacteristically excited for whatever he wanted to show Oswald and before Oswald could even ask him, his father had stepped out of the room and led him up the stairs.

»What is it, Father?« He finally managed to get out while following the old man up the staircase to the first-floor landing. His father, though weak in constitution, was still a bit faster than Oswald with his mangled leg so he struggled to keep up with him.

»We talked about the family business, remember?«

»Yes, of course.«

»Well, I thought about what you asked me and I came to the conclusion that I agree with you.« He was confused still as his father was leading him down the upstairs hallway and straight to a room Oswald had never been in before. However, the moment his father opened the door, he finally understood. »I am going to sew you a brand new suit, my Son.«

He didn't know what to say as his father stood with him in the doorway of the old sewing room. The room was quite big for a sewing room with a large bay window that was leading towards the garden. Above this very room was the little tower which were so common for Victorian houses like this one. There were boxes standing around neatly labeled with all kinds of equipment. Right in front of the bay window stood a small footstool, an orange armchair, and a mirror. An old iron sewing machine had taken over a desk a bit to the sides and a dressmakers doll stood around forgotten with a half-finished light blue dress that was never meant for Grace or Sasha by the looks of it. Huge rolls of fabric were leaning against a dusty chest of drawers in one corner of the room. It was obvious that this room hadn't been used in at least a decade but at least it had been cleaned regularly. There was not much dust lying around.

»Oh, Dad that's … too much, you don't need to- your heart.«

»Don't worry about my poor old heart, Oswald.« His father chuckled. »I find great joy in this work. Furthermore, I decided that I am going to teach you. After all, you certainly need to know a few things about the work of our family before you will take over one day, right?«

Until now, he had not quite formulated in his head the possibility that his father might actually want him to take over for him at one point. He had thought he would become a bookkeeper or something like this. Yes, he had entertained the idea of maybe becoming an apprentice like his father before him but hearing the words from his father was something else entirely. Suddenly, he felt as if he actually had a purpose in life.

»But … What about Charles?« He muttered. »It wouldn't be right … He is much more deserving of your trust, Father.«

»You are my oldest son, Oswald.« His father reassured him. »This, the empire of our family, is your birthright. And your brother never expressed interest in our family’s legacy, to begin with. He is much more fascinated with modern technology, I’m afraid.«

In the end, it had taken hours for his father and him to decide on fabric for the suit, to take his measurements and cut out the pattern. It had become Sunday afternoon as Oswald found himself standing on the footstool with his father carefully sticking needles into the half-finished suit jacket Oswald was wearing. They would have worked all through the night if Grace had not asked them to join them for dinner. While they had been working, neither of them had really noticed the exhaustion but afterward, his father had gone right to bed and Oswald had followed his example not too long afterward, just after a little phone call with Edward, of course. By now, it had stopped snowing at the very least. It was a nice sunny day and Edward had promised to come over for dinner this evening.

He wouldn't have thought that he would find that much joy in sharing this with his father and actually learning a thing or two about the art of tailoring. His father too seemed to enjoy their time together like this. He was radiant as he was working on Oswald with the gramophone of his great-grandfather gently playing in the background. »You really like this fabric, don't you?« His father chuckled as he caught him brushing his fingers carefully over the jacket at the front. »It's Italian.«

»I love it!« He laughed quietly. The sunlight that came through the big windows made it easier to see all the details of the dark green plaid fabric. The trousers were already almost finished and for once had the perfect lengths and fit for Oswald. For his jacket, his father had chosen something longer, almost a bit like a tailcoat. It was nothing he would be able to find in the stores he used to frequent with his mother but entirely his already. Not to mention that Ed would love this color on him. He wondered how it would look with a purple vest to complete the look.

»A man can say so much about himself by what he wears.«

»I couldn't agree more!« He smiled. Sure, he had liked the clothes Fish had bought him and he would continue to wear them at school. But it felt good to be accepted as he was in this house, good to be able to wear all the fancy suits he had loved to wear since childhood without facing ridicule. He was a proper gentleman, after all, and as such, it was only natural for him to wear fine suits. He stood still as his father checked on the stitches he had made by hand to fit the jacket with a small magnifying glass, which looked much more like a monocle. He was amazed by his father’s talent and craftiness, amazed by his eye for detail. He hadn't seen his father like this before and he loved to see him like this. Not brooding over reports of the company or dusty old books but actually doing the work he loved to do. He looked so much more alive like this.

As he was apparently done checking on his stitches, his father playfully turned the magnifying glass in his hand before he handed it to Oswald who took it with great care until his father would need it again.

»I weep for today’s casual youth.« His father then smirked, that playful little flicker in his warm eyes as he looked up at his son now and actually drew another chuckle from Oswald before he stepped around him and then shortly put his hand on the small of Oswald’s back to make him face the mirrors.

It was something else seeing himself in his almost finished suit now, knowing that he and his father both had worked on it for almost two days straight. For the first time in his life, Oswald had actually produced something with his own two hands. Yes, his father had done the most of the work, but Oswald had been a diligent student, listening carefully to what his father had told him all throughout the process. He already loved the suit and he couldn't wait to show it to Edward later that day. He felt accomplished. He had created this suit together with his father from scratch and it was perfect. Knowing that he was able to do something like this felt incredible.

Even more incredible was his father's radiant smile and the pride in his eyes as Oswald stared at himself in awe in the mirror. His hand still rested on Oswald’s back, the gesture comforting and warm. Growing up with his mother, he had never dared to imagine how it was to have a father. Yes, he had envied the other kids in school but he would have never told her as to not make her sad. However, now he knew what it truly meant to have a father, someone to lean onto. He knew that, had he grown up with Elijah, he wouldn't have needed to fear anything. He would have fallen and his father would have always caught him.

»I am so glad you suggested this!« He beamed while Oswald gently tugged at his lapels. »It's been so long.« Oswald let out a breathless sigh of content. The moment couldn't be more perfect as it seemed. The warm sunlight coming from outside, the Italian aria playing in the background, his father smiling at him and the fruits of hard labor tailored to his body. He should have known that a moment as perfect as this would not last long, though. Not for someone as utterly unlucky as he was.

It was then that his father let out a small cough before he suddenly grabbed his chest. It all happened so fast. He coughed again, harder this time, the smile gone from his face in an instant and replaced by an expression of pain as he stumbled. Oswald was quick to catch him and wrap his arm around him as he stepped from the footstool only to help his father sit down on the old orange armchair quickly.

»A-Are you alright?« Oswald stammered over his father's coughing. He seemed so weak in Oswald’s arms all of the sudden, his weight dragging Oswald almost down with him. The moment, his father fell into the chair, he was unconscious.

 

**-End of Chapter 21-**


	22. Chapter 22

He was still holding onto the monocle, turning it over and over between his fingers, feeling the edge of the glass dig into his fingertips. The sunlight coming from outside was diffused through the thick glass of the windows and gave an ethereal glow to the room.

»His condition has gotten worse.« The sun had no right to shine so brightly into his father’s bedroom as the doctor turned away from the head of the household on the bed to face him, his eldest son, instead. »The hole has gotten bigger and now there is an infection.«

His father’s body was still wrecked with coughs. Grace sat on the edge of his bed, her hand gently wrapped around her husband’s with her back to Oswald and the doctor. The physician had quickly taken Oswald to the side to give him the news. After all, he was the oldest son and such matters apparently not the concern of a ladylike Grace. After his father's death, he would be the head of the household - at least in his father’s eyes. He had overexerted himself. No matter what his father would tell him, Oswald knew that this was the case. Why else would his father have collapsed like this? He shouldn't have asked him to tailor him that suit the other day. He should have known. He shouldn't have actually gone through with it. Now his father was sick and it was his fault for not ensuring that he was taking enough breaks.

»I have given him antibiotics and rehydrated him but I fear we’ll have little consequence.« The doctor kept his voice calm and so low that only Oswald would hear him over his father’s coughs. He had seen the man before as he came to check on his father every other week. He was kind and spoke to Oswald with great warmth and sympathy now, almost as if they would have known each other for years already. »It's time for him to get his affairs in order. He may not have long.« The doctor left the room after that, left him with those devastating news.

How was he supposed to cope with news like his? How was he supposed to react? There was so much left to do. There was so much left to share with his father. So much more to experience with him at his side. He wanted him around for everything he was still going to do. He _needed_ him around for everything he was still going to do. He could not lose him now too. Not so shortly after his mother. Not with the ever-looming threat that was Grace. And yet … How could he now tell his father the truth about his wife and children when his father was so sick? What if this would give him the final blow?

»I'm going to have the cook make you some nice chicken soup, Dear. You need your strength.« Grace said. There was this softness to her voice again with which she had lured Oswald in at the beginning of all of this. Oh, his poor father was so oblivious to her schemes. How could he not tell him?

»Oh, how very kind of you.« His father muttered. He sounded much weaker than he had only hours ago. It seemed unbelievable now to Oswald that his father had been so alive and radiant only two hours ago with him in the old sewing room. Grace rose from her spot then and only shared a glance with Oswald as she turned around to take a silver tray with an empty water decanter from a small side table to replace it. Gone was all softness from her face, her eyes hard and cold as steel.

»Come here my boy.« His father addressed him and Oswald was quick to take over the same spot Grace had occupied just seconds before as he carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. His father looked so small and frail all of the sudden. It was unbearable. For once, he was glad that he hadn't needed to see his mother like this.

»Don't listen to doctors, Son. I proved them wrong so many times I've lost count.« Even in a situation like this, his father could still make a joke and still succeeded in drawing a little chuckle from him. »You and I will have many more years to spend together. Trust me. I will be there when you start your apprenticeship and when you finish it. And I will be there when you take over the company. Hopefully, I will even see the day when you marry and have kids of your own to drive you insane.«

»Father, I-«

»I know.« He chuckled and brushed off his concerns with a small wave of his hand as if he was reading his mind. »There are many more ways to have a family, Oswald, and I trust that you find your way through life. And I’ll be there to help you along the way because that's what fathers do, right?« He felt the blush creeping up on him but his father looked over his shoulder again to where Grace was just on her way out of the room now. Undoubtedly, she had been listening in. »But perhaps we should speak with my lawyer, Dear. I have some things I’d like to go over with him. So much has changed these past weeks.«

»Of course.« Grace smiled. »I’ll have him stop by.«

※※※※※※※

The news had reached him half an hour ago and when Edward arrived at the house, he saw the doctor leaving and Grace standing in the doorway of the old mansion. For a moment, he was certain that she would not let him in but then she smiled one of her polite little smiles and let him walk into the mansion instead of rejecting him at the door like she probably wanted to. The lofty veneer never faded. Grace was the embodiment of aristocratic arrogance.

»I’ve heard what happened.« He addressed her as the butler dutifully took his green coat and scarf - a scowl plastered on his face at his sight. He had realized quite early that the butler was not a big fan of him or Oswald. Elitist bastard. »How is he?«

»He is weak … But he’s going to be better.« Grace offered with the best concerned expression she could probably fake at the moment without risking getting wrinkles on her perfectly sculpted face. »Maybe you should go and talk to Oswald … That poor boy took it pretty badly. He is upstairs in the sewing room now.«

Ed parted from her with a nod before climbing the stairs. On his way up he met Charles and greeted him with a brisk yet polite hello. The boy looked exhausted and honestly concerned for the well-being of his father. Sasha, on the other hand, was on the phone with someone as he walked past the room. She didn't seem to care - that was if she had even noticed what was going on inside the house. Sasha, like so many girls her age, was very much living in her own personal bubble half the time. Most things did not seem to matter to her quite as much as they should. This did not mean that there would not be hope for her to actually turn her life and attitude around but looking at her mother … Well, Sasha very much took after her.

He found Oswald in the sewing room as Grace had told him. The only indication that it was the right room before he had walked up to it, had been the wide open door and the sounds of someone rummaging around inside. Until now, he had not even known that this room existed.

Now, however, Oswald was arranging some suit jacket on a dummy in the middle of the room and though he was standing with his back to Ed, by the jerky movements of his hands, Ed could tell how distressed he truly was. He was quiet as he walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around him from behind. It was still new that he could use his right arm again and he still had to be careful and soon start with his rehab program but nobody could tell him not to hug his boyfriend. First, that startled the shorter boy but then Oswald leaned into the hug and all but melted against him.

»I came as quickly as I could.« He mumbled into his ear as he pulled him even closer against his chest. »How is he doing?«

»Not good.« Oswald muttered as he turned in the hug to wrap his own arms around Edward’s waist and buried his nose in the crook of his neck. »The doctor said he’s getting worse and that he got an infection. What if he dies?« The question was only natural. He had been prepared to hear it come out of Oswald’s mouth too any yet, as it came, Edward knew that there was nothing he could say that would truly satisfy him.

»He won’t.« It was an empty promise and they both knew this.

If it was Elijah’s time to leave this world once and for all, there was nothing they would be able to do about it. Yet, they both knew that it was all too possible that Grace had helped his rapid decline as of late. At least it would surprise no one if she had had a hand in it. However, all of this could wait. At the moment all that truly mattered was giving Oswald the comfort and support he needed. »What’s with that suit?« He mumbled against Oswald’s soft black hair as it tickled his chin. The jacket on the dressmaker’s doll was made out of a dark green plaid fabric and the right sleeve was hanging loosely from just a few stitches now from its socket as if someone had ripped it off.

»That's the suit I made with dad.« He mumbled and clutched the back of Ed’s shirt even tighter than before.

»It's beautiful.« He brushed the tips of his fingers up and down Oswald’s back along his spine as if this might soothe the smaller boy. He could only imagine how badly he felt. He had just met his father, after all. The thought that he might be losing him already so shortly after his mother's death must be crushing. »You are very talented.«

»Dad did most of the work.« He mumbled before he finally broke away from the hug. »I have to fix the stitches on the sleeve … I don't know if I can do it as he can.« He looked pale and ruffled as if he had been dragging his fingers over and over again through his hair. »I didn't even ask … Are you alright?«

It should be needless to state that, of course, Ed had called his boyfriend last night and told him all about the encounter with his father and how furious Fish had been later as she had heard about it. While he had always been annoyed when Isabella would call him every night, he actually looked forward to Oswald’s usual good-night texts or calls. Somehow hearing his voice before going to sleep always helped Edward to settle down and relax. Of course, Fish wouldn't be Fish if she would not have immediately wanted to call the cops on his father for even daring to come to her house like this. Had she been there … Well, his father might have experienced how shitty it was to do everyday tasks with a dislocated shoulder.

»I’m okay.« He smiled softly. »It was a shock, yes, but I am okay now. I doubt that he will come back to the house again and if he does … Well, next time I will not keep Fish from calling the cops on him, I guess.«

The feeling of Oswald’s fingers brushing strands of his hair out of his forehead made it all too easy to forget the situation they were in at the moment and the fact that Oswald himself must be sick with worry for his father. He knew that hearing Edward talk about his own problems was a distraction for him and if that was what he needed now, he would gladly provide.

»I won't lie, I was terrified. I wouldn't have thought that he would actually show up to Fish’s house or that he would care enough to even want to talk to me. I mean … I know that he doesn't really care. Not about me, at least. He cares only about what the other people say about him. That was always all he cared about. He is a proud man and having his coworkers and drinking buddies know that his son ran away from him and is rather living with stranger’s now is humiliating for him. Not to mention that his buddies now know that his son is dating another guy. Imagine the horror! The public outcry! Thomas Nygma’s son is a faggot. How could _his_ son possibly love another man?« He tried a smirk. Though they had talked on the phone last night, saying these things to Oswald in person felt differently, somehow. He prided himself on the fact that he had not cried about the whole situation with his father yet. Maybe he had shed a few tears in the beginning but he was done crying about spilled milk. What would be the use of that anyway? »But I am okay now. For a moment, yesterday, I thought that dad was right and that we could still turn it around and be a family but I realized quickly that I am not going to change this man. And that's okay. I don't need him. I never needed him so why should I need him now?«

»You always have me.« Oswald promised and once again those large blue eyes were like a gun pointed at him. How could he not melt a bit every time when Oswald would look at him like this? The least he could do was kiss him, he guessed. However, before he could lean down, Oswald had already raised to his tiptoes to meet him halfway. Oswald’s kisses never failed to make his knees buckle a little.

»We need to get our hands on the medicine your father takes.« He whispered against Oswald’s dry lips as they broke apart just slightly. Oswald had been biting his lips since the shock earlier this day. He could feel the brittle broken skin under his own lips. A bad habit. »We need to have it tested.« He knew, even though there was confusion written over Oswald’s face for just a second or two, that his boyfriend understood exactly what he was going at. And, after everything they now knew about Grace, Oswald surely had thought about it himself already. It did not take long for Oswald to nod his agreement.

It had started snowing again after dinner and so Ed knew that he needed to get going before the snow could pick up the same fury as the last two days. Then again, if he wouldn't be able to leave before the roads would be blocked again, he could stay at the house - with Oswald. He had not yet uttered those words to Oswald as the doorbell rang. The old butler hurried over to answer the door just as Ed and Oswald reached the reception hall, Grace hot on their trail as she left the parlor at the front of the house. From somewhere Sasha's shrill laughter sounded through the house. Charles, on the other hand, had resigned himself to his room the moment he had put down his fork and knife. The worry for his father had struck him as hard as Oswald.

They watched how the butler opened the door to a man in a sharp suit and a thick wool coat, a briefcase clutched tightly to his side and snow on his shoulders. He was a man in his late forties with a sharp handsome face and dark hair. His smile was open and friendly as he entered the house and Grace immediately stepped up to the man to greet him with a brisk hug. To the expert’s eye, it was clear that the hug was meant to look like the polite little hug one would give an acquaintance or friend as a greeting. It was a bit too unsuspicious for Ed’s taste.

»I am so glad that you could make it!« She smiled at the stranger as the butler took his coat and hat. »Elijah will be glad too. He wants this dealt with as quickly as possible.«

»I came as fast as I could, Grace.« The man replied quickly before his face turned into a mask of concern. Yet, none of them paid Oswald or Edward any attention as if they were not in the same room. Tactic?»How is he?«

»He is taking it well but you know Elijah.« Grace sighed. »He never admits when he is feeling bad.«

As if suddenly Grace and the visitor noticed them standing there and watching, Grace actually turned to Oswald and Ed with a smile. »Anthony, I would like you to meet my stepson Oswald and his boyfriend Edward.« She smiled widely. She was good in acting unbothered by Oswald’s homosexuality. Well, it was either that or she was actually unbothered and had just acted as if she wasn't to hurt Oswald deliberately. Knowing Grace, both would be equally possible. Then again, it was always smart to appear tolerant and open to the general public, he assumed. No one in the higher class society really cared what another person thought in the privacy of their own home, as long as the public veneer would be immaculate. »Oswald, Edward … That’s Anthony Graves, our lawyer and a good friend.«

They did not share a glance even though Edward wanted to look at Oswald immediately. He forced himself not to show any sign of recognition to that name. They were playing poker, not chess. Oswald acted his usual polite gentlemanly self as he stepped forward to shake Mr. Graves’s hand and Edward followed his example quickly.

»Are you leaving us already, Edward?« Grace smiled then as if she just noticed that they had been about to say their goodbyes as Anthony arrived.

»I wanted to go before the snow would get worse and block the roads again.«  

»The roads into town are already blocked.« Graves replied quickly with a friendly smile playing on his lips. »They just announced it on the radio when I arrived. I was lucky enough that I left my office in town a bit earlier today after I heard the news of Elijah’s predicament, otherwise, I would have been forced to sleep at the office.«

»Maybe you should stay the night, Darling.« Grace actually brushed a hand down his left arm as she made the offer with an expression of loving concern oozing from her every pore. »We don't want you to get stuck on your way home in the middle of nowhere! It's a far way from home for you, after all.« Only then did Edward look at Oswald before he smiled at Grace again.

»That's very kind, Grace. Thank you. I’m just informing Miss Mooney so that she won’t be worried.«  It was all a charade, of course. They all knew that it was a charade too - probably even Anthony. He wondered if Grace had talked to him about the situation. Oswald had warned him last night that Grace had finally realized that her letters were gone. She knew that Oswald had stolen them. She knew that Oswald knew who Anthony was. This right here, asking her lover, her lawyer, to come over to the house to help Elijah settle his affairs, was a very clear warning.

Yet, all four of them stuck to smiling politely as they went their ways. The game was afoot.

※※※※※※※

There was no denying that Oswald felt safer now that Edward was at the house too. He didn't expect Grace to actually kill him in the middle of the night with a poker. Too messy, too bloody. If Grace was going to kill him in any way whatsoever, she would opt for a much more discreet way. Maybe she would push him down the stairs to the basement as she had his grandmother. Maybe she would push him in the pond a bit farther away from the house and make it look like he had fallen in on a walk. Maybe she would even go as far and hire someone to hit him with a car or something like this. Of course, in the end, there was always poison, he assumed. There was no real danger inside this house for him now and yet he felt a lot better having Edward rest in his bed beside him.

»I don't think your dad would like it much if he would know that I am sleeping in your bed.« Ed hummed as he gently carded his long fingers through Oswald’s thick black hair at the side of his head. It was still a bit too early to actually go to sleep and even if he would be tired, he didn't think that he would be able to actually sleep after a day like this. There was still this nagging little fear in the back of his mind that his father might not survive the night. Yet, the fire in the fireplace and the thick flakes of snow falling from a black sky just outside his window made the situation much too comfortable and lazy to do anything else.

»I think he would understand that I need you by my side after a day like this.« He replied quietly. »After such a shock.«

»Are you going to speak to him before going to bed?« It was impossible not to relax with how Edward was petting his hair now. That bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing to him.  

»I want to, yes.« He was just so afraid that he might regret if he wouldn't go see him again this night. Yet, he was actually more afraid to get up and walk down the hallway to his father’s bedroom. His mother's death had been so sudden and quick. It hadn't made it any less painful but at least he had not needed to see her suffer, hooked to machines or being sick in bed.

»Do it as long as you have the chance.« Ed smiled. »Your father will pull through this and he’ll get better but you always need to spend as much time as you can with him as long as you still have him.«

»I know.« He replied even quieter than before.

»I know that it's scary.« Of course, Ed knew this. No one knew more about losing a parent to sickness than Edward. »But you can do it. You have dealt with a lot scarier shit this year, right? Look how far you’ve come since that accident. You can do this and show your dad how strong you are and that he’s making the right choice when he wants to have you inherit everything.«

They both knew that this was the reason why Anthony Graves had to come this urgently. His father wanted to change his last will in his son’s favor and that could not be in Grace’s best interest. He knew that she and her lover were probably betraying his father in this regard too. Anthony would find a way to have this new testament vanish if it would come to this and Oswald was very aware that his father was now in grave danger. After all, Grace knew that he knew everything, right? She had to get rid either of Oswald or of his father quickly before Oswald could interfere with their plans any further than he already had simply by existing.

»We are both in danger, you know that's true, don't you?«

»When haven't we been in danger?« Ed huffed as he rested his hand now on his cheek instead and brushed his thumb over the skin. »She can't kill us both and make it look like an accident and if she does … Well, I am prepared for that too.«

»Did you  write a letter that is sent at the unlikely event of your untimely death?«

»Something like this.« Ed huffed gently, the humor of Oswald’s worde not failing to amuse him. »Let's just say ... If anyone of us has an accident in the very near future, Fish will know the truth.«

Leave it to Ed to being cryptic but maybe it was better if he wouldn't know too much about his master plan, Oswald assumed. The less he knew the less likely it would become that he might ruin it. However, it was indeed a bit of a comfort to know that Fish would know everything if something would happen to Ed or him soon. If anyone would be able to find justice for them, it would be Fish Mooney and she would not rest until she would have put Grace van Dahl and Anthony Graves behind bars.

»I am so glad you planned ahead.« Oswald huffed as he finally sat up. »Because, friend, we will find a very bloody end soon.«

»I like your optimism.« Ed chuckled as he got up from the bed. If he would stay even a second longer in Ed’s calming presence, he would fall asleep right then and there. So, instead, he rose from his bed and walked to the door. »Good luck.« As he looked back over his shoulder he rolled his eyes as Ed gave him a thumbs up and grabbed for the book he was reading and had put on the nightstand. All of this, Ed lying in his bed in his pajamas with a book was already way too normal and familiar. It felt good. It was nice. It felt right and he didn't want to have it any other way.

He left the room quietly and walked down the hallway to his father's bedroom. Since he didn't hear anything from inside but could see a sliver of light coming from underneath the door, he knocked. To his surprise, he didn't need to wait long for his father's response as he allowed him inside. Quickly, Oswald opened the door and snuck into the room, closing the door behind him immediately. His father looked pale still and his skin had a grey tone to it as Oswald walked closer but he smiled at his son at the very least. In fact, Oswald wondered if there was anything he could do that would cause his father not to smile at him.

»How are you?« Oswald asked as he sat down gingerly at the edge of the bed again like he had hours before and grabbed his father’s hand carefully. He was quite cold, actually, but Oswald refused to acknowledge that. It was not yet the cold of death seeping into his body. They had only found each other. His father could not leave him so soon again. He wouldn't allow it and his father had, after all, promised to stick around.

»Getting better.« He replied fondly before his smile turned a little more mischievous. »Grace told me that Mr. Nygma is staying the night?«

»Mr. Graves told us that the roads into the city are blocked.« Oswald explained with a flustered little shrug. »So, Grace thought it would be best if he would stay here.«

»Well, he is always welcome in this house. I hope, though, this time he’ll sleep in one of our spare guest bedrooms?« There was mirth in his father's eyes at that and Oswald could already feel the blush creeping into his cheeks at the scrutiny.

»We thought … I would feel better if he stays with me … You know … after everything that happened today. It was quite the shock … I want him close.« Maybe it was not nice to use his father's condition to his advantage but his father, even if he had looked right through the excuse, just laughed at his words. The sound was not yet so strong as it usually was but it spoke of his sense of humor and his understanding.

»Oh, to be young and in love again!« He chuckled and grabbed Oswald’s hand a bit firmer. »I allow it - as an exception. Edward is a fine young man, after all, and I trust that he knows how to behave like a proper gentleman.«

»He is.« Oswald was quick to agree. »I am very glad to have him. I wouldn't have thought … In the beginning, I didn't even like him. I thought he was a freak and then we became friends and everything changed. Since then so many good things happened and I don't know if I would have had the courage to face half of these things if it hadn't been for Ed.«

»I know that feeling all too well, my boy. Your mother had quite the same impact on my life. Of course, in the end, I chose the path of a coward, though. But I have a feeling that you will choose a much different path in life. You are already such a brave young man.«

»I’m not brave at all.« Oswald quickly shrugged his father's words off and lowered his eyes to instead inspect the fringes on one of his pillows. »You have no idea how afraid I was when you collapsed. I thought I lost you so shortly after we found each other.«

»I’m sorry that I scared you so badly.« His father hummed gently. »It was not my intent. It must have reminded you of your mother, though, right?«

Oswald paused for a second, his eyes still intently focused on the golden fringes of the pillow before he let out a small sigh. »I don't know. I guess it did. I mean … Mom died so suddenly. The one moment we were arguing in the car, the next she was dead. I am glad that she didn't have to suffer. I think it would have been worse if she had needed to suffer. It would have been worse had I seen her hooked up to machines like I was. But because it happened so fast and without warning … it never truly left me, you know? I often find myself wondering if I could have done anything. I ask myself: what if I had not behaved like a total brat that evening? Would she still be alive? Would we have still gotten into that accident? Would she have paid more attention to the road?«

»Having thoughts like this is very normal, Oswald. When your grandmother died I asked myself the same questions. But we must learn that we cannot control everything in our lives. Sometimes, we just have to let go of things. In time, you will be able to move on. However, until then, you are allowed to grieve your mother, my Boy. You should know that it's okay for you to be sad sometimes.« As Oswald looked at him now, his father's expression changed ever so slightly. His smile faltered as a thoughtful look took claim of his eyes.

»I lied to you, Son.« He then said and with so much reverence, that Oswald was almost certain the world was ending at that same exact moment.

»Oh?«

»I told you that I lost my father to an illness, haven't I?«

Another murder? »Yes.« How many more dark family secrets were there left to be uncovered now?

»My father was never physically ill. He only suffered a deep melancholy. He was plagued by dark impulses. Evil thoughts of violence. Mother said many in his family held the same affliction and even more of them suffered from deep a depression.« He looked at him with so much intent that, even if he wanted to, the meaning of his words couldn't quite escape Oswald. »I remember the sound of the gunshot. I was outside his room. I screamed for my mother to get the key. I saw the warm gun in his hand …  the blood … his face. Mother said never to talk about it. I don't pretend to understand my father's torment, Oswald. But I think perhaps you do. That is why it is so important for you to never swallow your emotions down or think that you are not allowed to express them. I feel for you. And I beg of you, my Son, never give in to the pain as he did. You are loved and you are not alone. And no matter what happens to me, the sun will come up tomorrow.«

Only as his father took his hand from Oswald’s and brushed his fingers over his left cheek did Oswald realize that he had been shedding a few tears at his father's stern words. He was not one to cry easily. Yet, hearing those words from his father with such sincerity had left him no other choice to allow the tears to fall.

»Thank you, Father.« He choked out finally as his father let out a deep breath and grabbed for his glass of water on the nightstand to take a sip while Oswald was quickly brushing away the tears.

»Perhaps you were surprised that I asked Mr. Graves to come over so quickly, Oswald.« He then spoke up as he placed the glass back on the nightstand. »I asked him to get everything ready so that I can change my last will - just in case. I want you to have it all, my Son. This house and all that's in it. The businesses. Keep it just the way it is. A piece of history. Our history. Gotham’s history. First thing tomorrow I have Anthony draw it up.«

»But … Charles and Sasha … What about them?«

For a moment, the expression in his father's eyes shifted again to something he could not quite read. Was it possible that he … Did his father know that Charles and Sasha were not his children? He was a bit naive, yes, but also a man of great instinct and certainly not stupid. Was it possible that he knew the truth all along?

»They will not leave empty-handed, Oswald. I appreciate your concern for your siblings. That only proves that I am doing the right thing. Charles and Sasha will inherit the legal portion. After all, they will always have the fortune of their mother’s family to claim later. You, however, are not in this same privileged position. You are my first born son and thus my rightful heir. And I am most confident that your siblings will understand this.«

 

**-End of Chapter 22-**


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something fluffy before the showdown!

»Oswald looks a little pale lately, doesn't he?« Fish’s concern was seeping right out of her voice as she was filing through the clothes on one side of the store. Apparently, Fish had developed a liking to shop in vintage stores. Edward was not quite sure if they would find what she was looking for in a store like this but he wouldn't say anything. It didn't seem right to critique her when she only was trying to do her best. Other than this, he trusted Fish’s fashion sense. She had proven time and time again that she knew how to make a man look his best. It had been her who had advised him to shave the sides of his head a little shorter than the top, after all, and ever since, Oswald was practically incapable of keeping his hands away from him.

»So I noticed.« Ed hummed. It was true, Oswald was a lot paler and sickly looking lately. Not to mention that he appeared to be quite a bit weaker these days. »Maybe he is getting a bit sick. It's gotten quite cold lately. Oswald told me that he has always been a bit sickly.«

Fish nodded quietly to herself at that before she turned around from the clothes she had been inspecting and took in his appearance. Fish had this way to look at people that made him utterly uncomfortable for some odd reason. It was almost as if she was looking straight through his clothes and masks. He was naked in front of her. Naked with all his flaws and secrets on display for everyone to see who cared to look at them.

»This boy is as strong as an ox - no matter what this mother of his might have thought or told him.« Fish scoffed. »He recovered from injuries that by all means should have killed him in a matter of weeks. His mother just coddled him because she didn't like the idea of actually letting her baby bird fly.« He wondered if Fish had told Oswald the same thing about his so beloved mother. As she walked over to where he still stood next to a display cabinet with expensive men’s watches her gaze was that of a huntress fixated on her prey before she jabbed one pointy fingernail into his chest. »No, I tell you, there is something else going on, my dear Ed.«

»What do you mean?«

»I don't trust that stepmother. _Grace_.« She all but spat her name as if it left a sour taste in her mouth. »And you shouldn't either - let alone Ozzie. You promise me to keep a close eye on the little bird, will you, Pumpkin?«

»Of course.« Edward replied with a quiet smile. Even if Oswald wouldn't be his boyfriend he still would keep a close eye on him under these circumstances. A part of him wanted to tell Fish everything right away. A part of him wanted her involved in everything that was going on but the fewer people knew about what Oswald and he were doing, the better. They had to be careful. They needed to keep their cards close to their chests whether they liked it or not.

»How is his father, by the way?«

»Getting better.« His smile grew at that just a bit and he had to be careful not to appear too gleeful or otherwise he might raise her suspicion. »His doctor says his health has improved remarkably lately. Then again, Oswald makes sure that his father is well cared for. He is quite the mother hen - Who would have thought?«

»Anyway, I think I have found just the right thing for you, Dear.« Fish smiled conspiratorially before she gingerly grabbed his shoulders and turned him around to face a corner a bit further back in the small vintage store they were in. The moment he was looking at the corner, he knew what she wanted to show him and though he felt a huge grin started to cut open his face, he tried to swallow his excitement.

»Fish … I don't really know if that's the appropriate thing to wear for such an occasion…«

»Oh shush, you!« Fish laughed and clicked her fingers at him. »Try it on!«

There really was no arguing with Fish when she had set her mind to something and, in all honesty, Ed didn't even want to argue with her. The moment he had seen the suit. he had known he wanted to try it on. To both their amusement and surprise, the suit turned out to be his size and so, Ed found himself staring in the mirror outside of the changing room a few minutes later with Fish looking over his shoulder at his reflection.

»Just as I thought: It's made for you.« She snickered.

»Still … Don't you think I will stand out like a sore thumb?«

»Of course you will, Pumpkin and that's entirely the point!« His confused gaze met hers in the mirror and, with a sigh, she started combing his hair out of his face with her fingers with the gentle touch of a mother. His mother had done the same thing when he had been little. _Let me see your pretty face_ , she would have whispered then with a smile. Her eyes softened a bit as he looked at him now. »Ed, I am speaking from experience when I tell you that there is no point in hiding who you really are deep down inside and clothes are just one way to express yourself. You don't have to act or dress a certain way to fit in with the crowd. What would be the point in that anyway? Who wants to drown in a grey crowd of people who all look exactly the same? These days, people all dress in the same boring clothes. They all do and like the same boring things. Manufactured young boring people who are too afraid to stand out from the crowd because they fear that they have nothing going for them. But you do, Ed. You are smart and you are funny and there is no reason why you should hide in the boring grey crowd - especially not on an occasion like that, right?«

»Oswald will find it atrocious.«

»Oswald will love it.« She grinned widely.

»How would you know?«

»Because he already loves you, Pumpkin.« She then chuckled and squeezed his shoulders. »And this suit is entirely you. You boys will be the stars of that stupid boring yule ball!«

For a moment, Ed was unsure if she was right or if she just wanted to mess with him just a little now. He had no real reason to distrust her in any way and yet his paranoid mind begged him to always be cautious. And yet, as he looked at himself in the mirror now, he actually liked what he saw. Green was just his color, after all.

※※※※※※※

Oswald would not have thought that he would ever get to experience something like going to the school dances during his time at Gotham High. He had just always thought that this kind of experience was not reserved for someone like him. After all, who would have wanted to go with him? Certainly, he wouldn't have found a girl who would have wanted to go with him and he wouldn't have ever had enough confidence to ask any guy to go with him either. No matter what Fish would say to this, going alone to some kind of school dance just was not an option - not for him at least.

Even as Edward had asked him when the annual winter’s ball had rolled around, he had been quite surprised - which, in turn, had surprised Edward quite a bit. He had brought up the topic during lunch at school and had been very much matter of fact about it because, of course, they would go together. In Ed’s eyes, this had simply been out of the question Of course, between everything else that was going on lately, Oswald had not really paid too much attention to the posters being hung up around the school to advertise the ball. He had only really noticed the posters as he had been walking down the hallway with Lee and only because she had asked him if he was going to go.

»Stop fussing.« Charles smirked behind him as he straightened out Oswald’s suit jacket. »You already look good. I mean … I think you could wear a garbage bag and Edward would still be smitten with you.«

 _Smitten_. How odd to hear someone referring to him in that way. Yes, he knew that Edward loved him. Of course, Ed loved him. Of course, he was _smitten_ with him as much as he was smitten with Ed and yet … to hear it from someone else that a gorgeous guy like Edward Nygma could see him this way was still so very much surreal to him. A year ago he would not have dreamed of scoring someone as perfect as Edward Nygma as his boyfriend.  

As Ed arrived at the mansion and announced his arrival with the ringing of the doorbell, Oswald's heart nearly stopped and he couldn't even quite tell why. He still was standing uselessly in front of the mirror in his room, staring at himself and trying to fix his hair as Charles nudged his shoulder. »Come on, now! He’s here!«

It was almost a little embarrassing to Oswald that he was behaving like a silly schoolgirl on her first date. Then again, it was his first school dance and it was the first time he would be picked up by Edward for such an occasion. It was the first time that Ed and he would attend a dance and spent the evening together in such a romantic ambiance. He had a right to be excited and nervous! Yet, it seemed so silly in light of everything that was going on in this house and with Grace. A part of him was afraid to let his guard down and enjoy himself for one night even though his father was doing much better these days.

»Stop fussing!« Charles laughed once more as he led Oswald down the hall towards the stairs. He could already hear the voices from downstairs. Edward's voice and his booming laughter he would be able to recognize under a thousand! »You are going to ruin your hair!«

»As if it would be possible to make his hair look even weirder than it already does.« Sasha snorted as she happened to leave her room just as her brothers were passing by. »Seriously, he looks like birds are nesting in his hair all the time!«

»Shut up, Sasha!« Charles groaned but did not pay his sister any more attention than strictly necessary. After their initial first meeting a few weeks ago, Oswald was now cured of his hope that Sasha might actually be a nice person. Charles had been right before. Sasha was just as rotten as her mother. Her nice persona from the beginning had all too quickly shifted and her true face had revealed itself. It was just as Charles had said. She was a princess, she wanted things to go her way and not any other way. She demanded attention and would throw tantrums if she wouldn't get the attention she thought she deserved. And people said only-children were spoiled brats! Oswald didn't pay his little sister any mind at all as he walked down the hallway. In a little while, all would be revealed and then she would know that she was not entitled to anything at all. It was a shame, though, that he might lose his brother over this as well. Charles seemed to be an honest guy, he seemed to be nice and loving and yet he would probably forever ruin their relationship in the near future forever. It was a sobering little thought, actually, and yet it did not change a thing about his plan. It couldn't change anything. He was in too deep at this point. There was no going back now.

These thoughts were banished from his mind as he finally reached the staircase and paused for a second as he saw Edward standing in the reception hall with his father and Grace. He had seen this exact scenario on all kinds of sitcoms and tv shows in general before but now it was him who was walking down a staircase and towards the man he loved and not some random chick in a snazzy dress on prom night.

Ed was wearing the greenest suit he had ever seen. In another life, he would have been abhorred by the sight of it but now he could only stare at Ed with a smile so wide it actually hurt his cheeks. No matter the color of the suit, it just looked awesome on his boyfriend as he stood there with his hair combed back tightly, the sides of his head freshly shaven off just a bit and without his glasses for this special occasion. Would his father not be watching, he would swoon right here and now. He could see Fish’s influence on Ed seeping right out of Ed’s every pore as he reached him. He only wished his walk down the stairs could have been as impactful as on TV but it was hard walking down a staircase with a limp and make it look at least halfway graceful.

»It's your new suit.« Ed greeted him after he stole just a chaste little kiss from Oswald's lips. He could feel his ears burn right off his head. »It looks awesome.« He had thought about wearing the suit he and his father had created together but instead he had opted for a black tuxedo. No, the suit his father and he had made was reserved for a special occasion.

They were driven to the dance by the van Dahl chauffeur to make a proper entrance after his father had wasted precious time of theirs to snap as many photos of them as humanly possible. Almost, Oswald would assume, his father was even more excited than he was. Walking into the gym was a bit more magical than it had any right to be. The committee for these events had outdone themselves. There was fake snow, beautiful blue neon lights, flowers and fake ice all across the gym where usually basketball games would take place. The music was not much to his taste but he wouldn't have expected that anyway. It didn't matter that the music was not to his tase or that his leg was giving him a hard time actually dancing with Edward. They were together and they were having fun with their friends and only that was of importance. Soon enough things could be turning very ugly for them both and until then, Oswald would much rather enjoy his time with Ed and act like a normal teenager.

»You are cordially invited to spend Christmas with us.« Oswald grinned as Edward pulled him a little tighter as they were shimmying their way over the dancefloor among all the other couples. He could see Butch and Tabby canoodling in one corner of the room and how principal Barnes was already making his way over to them to pry them away from each other. There were more than enough teachers to tell them not to dance this close together but they had given up a long time ago, as it seemed and the only one who at least tried to enforce the rules of this school, as always, was Barnes. He could hear Lee laughing as Jim dipped her at the completely wrong moment and thus almost lost his balance.

»I am looking forward to it.« Ed replied with that shark-like grin he had come to love so much. It was very much an inside joke they shared with each other and one no one but them would ever fully understand.

It was then, as Edward gave them both a small twirl, that the grin on his boyfriend’s face froze at once. »What's wrong?« Oswald frowned at his boyfriend’s sudden mood swing. Almost it seemed as if Edward had seen a ghost.

»I can’t believe it!« Curious because of his boyfriend’s sudden anger, Oswald looked over his shoulder only to feel rage flare up in his chest.

»Oh, that bitch.« He growled as he pulled away from Edward at once. Isabella Kringle stood at the doors of the gym and stared at Edward and him wide-eyed and with anger clearly etched into her features. No matter the fact that she had no right to be here at all, the fact that she looked enraged only made it all the worse. As she turned to leave the gym, Oswald went after her without thinking twice about it.

»Oswald!« He heard Edward call after him but he paid it no mind as he rushed out of the gym like a dog running after a hare. And he certainly didn't pay any mind to the couple of cheerleaders he passed that were snickering and yelling crude little comments as he stormed off. He caught up with Isabella only because her tight white dress made it impossible for her to walk much faster than he could. White! She was actually wearing white!

»I don't have any interest in talking to you, Oswald!« Isabella shot over her shoulder as she walked on, her heels clicking on the linoleum floor like a staccato that only underlined his anger.

»I don't care!« He growled. »I have a few things to say to you and you are gonna listen!« He knew that it was just a matter of seconds now that Edward would come after them. All he really wanted to do was slap her across the hallway before Ed could actually keep him from doing so. He might not be able to punch Grace in the face but he could kick the shit out of Isabella if he really wanted to.

»Oh?« She actually stopped at that and whirled around. »And what do you have to say to me now, you little freak? I don't think you have any right to be angry here! Going around stealing other peoples men!«

»Oh, I’m sorry … I wasn't aware you still claimed to have any right to call Edward ‘your man’ after what you told his father! Do you have any idea what you did?« He didn't want to shout as he didn't want other people that were hanging out in the hallway to hear but, in the end, he had never been quite good in keeping his voice down. He was loud. Simple as that.  

»Well, I thought his father had a right to know the truth!«

»I wonder how you’ll think about that when I’m done giving you the same treatment as he gave Ed!« The moment he had closed the distance between him and Isabella and reached out to push her against a locker, another voice cut through the moment and made him stop in his motions before he could actually attack her.

»You two! Stop it!« He stepped away from Isabella as he saw how Edward rushed over to them. No matter how much he really wanted to punch her, violence might be the wrong approach. No matter how much he did not want Edward to talk to Isabella, this was his fight. He didn't like it but that was just how things were. He had no right to interfere. He had no right to fight this fight for him as much as Edward had no right to fight Oswald’s fight against Grace for him. They could only support each other and be there for each other - and Oswald hated it.

»What are you doing here, Isabella?« Edward was surprisingly calm as he came closer but his eyes were narrowed at her in clear distrust. He could see the little cogs working behind his forehead. He could see just how much strength and effort it cost Edward to not do anything stupid. »Shouldn't you be in Italy?«

»I don't want to talk about this with him around.« Isabella snubbed and crossed her arms in clear defiance. Oswald wanted to snap back at her but before he could, Edward had actually closed his arm around his shoulders. It was a very clear statement. His heart gave a small little jump at this as he pressed into Ed’s side and put his left arm around Edward’s waist.

»Well, you either talk to me with him around or you don't talk to me at all. Your choice.« Ed said, his voice still as calm as the eye of a storm. Undoubtedly though, the storm would continue to rage and when the calm would have passed there was no telling the devastation that would follow.

»So it's true, huh? You really broke up with me for him?«

And yet, before Edward could snap at her again as he so clearly wanted, Oswald quickly interrupted his boyfriend and his ex. There was so much he wanted to say to this girl, so much anger he had still to unleash on her for how she had treated Edward before her glorious escape from Gotham. The sole fact that she was back now so quickly told him more than he actually needed to know about her time in Europe and her failure to follow her dreams. He didn't want to leave Ed alone with her - especially not tonight.

Yet, he remembered what Fish had taught him in the past few months. This was Ed’s fight. Isabella was Ed’s ex-girlfriend. And no matter how much he wanted to support him and stay with him, he knew that this was the moment he had to back away from the situation. He hated the idea. At the very least he knew that Edward would not be in any risk to fall for her again because he had never been in love with her to begin with. Isabella was no threat to their relationship and it was as Fish had told him before. The biggest power move in a situation as this was to walk away from it and show the third party that he was not concerned about them, that he was not regarding them as a threat and, even more importantly, that he trusted Edward to deal with this alone.

Before Ed could speak, Oswald turned around to him and gently put his left hand on his chest just for a moment. This alone sufficed for Edward to lower his eyes to meet his and take a deep breath to calm down again. »I’m going back inside, okay?«

»No, Oz … She has nothing to tell me that she can’t tell me in front of you.«

»That's not the point.« He replied patiently. »She is your ex. Despite everything, give her a moment of privacy to talk about everything.« As much as Isabella's actions had hurt Edward, there was no denying that Edward's actions had hurt her too. While he had broken her heart, her actions had led to a dislocated shoulder and cracked ribs for Ed. It was time to talk about it like adults - no matter how much he hated it. However, before he left and just to show Isabella where her place was, he leaned up to steal a kiss from Ed’s lips.

※※※※※※※

Edward caught himself staring after Oswald for the longest moment. He was surprised about Oswald's decision to actually walk away from the situation, from all the anger he certainly felt towards Isabella. He knew how hard it had to be for Oswald to actually prove himself to be the bigger person now. Of course, Edward knew that it was very much a power move as well. In walking away from Ed and his ex-girlfriend, Oswald showed Isabella how little concern he had for her being with his boyfriend now. He might as well have slapped her across the hallway.

He was pulled back into reality as Isabella let out a shaky breath. »How long?« She muttered quietly. »Have you been dating him when we were still together?«

»No.«

»I don't believe you.« Of course, she wouldn't. »I feel so stupid! How could I have not seen this? You guys were already hanging out together! Always so close! You could have just told me!«

»And then what? Would you have gone to my father right away?« He scoffed and shook his head in disgust. »No, I did not cheat on you with Oswald, Isabella. Believe it or not, I don't care. I am not a good guy, but I am not a cheater. And even if I wanted to break up with you for Oswald, we both know how you would have reacted, don't we? You are not the biggest fan of people like us.«

She seemed actually flustered by his words.

»I broke up with you for your sister, actually.« Ed replied almost coldly. »In fact, I only started dating you to get closer to her. That I fell in love with Oswald happened more or less by accident. Well, then again I think I have to thank you for that.«

There was no way that these words did not hurt her deeply. Still, her face remained a stoic mask as she looked at Edward. »I came back from Italy because I missed you Ed.« She then admitted and for the first time after Ed had dropped that bomb on her, there were actual tears in her eyes. »I was homesick and I wanted to come back to you. I wanted to apologize for what I did. I realize now that going to your father and telling him all these things about you was wrong and unfair. I hoped if I would return now, we could still turn this around and start over again.«

»Sorry to burst your bubble. Perhaps you should have stayed in Italy.« He scoffed.

»Since when are you such an asshole?« Isabella suddenly yelled and, once again, drew the attention from a few other people in the hallway towards their little altercation. The old Edward Nygma would have crumbled under the scrutiny of all these people now. »How could I have been this blind the entire time?«

»Maybe I turned into an asshole after you told lies about me to my father and after he then proceeded to beat the crap out of me!« He didn't like to shout. He didn't like to make a scene in the middle of the hallway with other couples or groups lingering around. Yet, whatever it was about this night or the situation a part of him just didn't care as he stepped closer to Isabella. »Maybe I turned into an asshole because you behaved like a little bitch that couldn't handle not getting all the attention? May I remind you that you wanted to take a break from our relationship while you would be out and about in Italy? However, the moment I agreed to that, you turned the tables on me and tried to paint me as the bad guy. Maybe that's why I turned into an asshole!«

»Okay, I am sorry, Ed.« Isabella frowned. »It was not right how I behaved back then. I should not have gone to your father. I should not have done the things I have done and I should have seen the problems in our relationship sooner but … You cannot honestly tell me that our relationship has been fake the entire time. I understand that you want to hurt me. Maybe I deserve it. I still think that we could try and move on from this, turn a new leaf.«

»I am with Oswald now.«

»Oswald.« She snorted. »Come on, Ed. I know you. We both know that he isn't what you truly want, right? You are a good guy, Ed. You want to achieve great things in life, have a nice home, a family - a normal life. You could never have that with him.«

»Still, I choose him.« He shrugged. »And you cannot change my mind, so stop trying. I love him. He was the first to see me for who I am and who accepts me like I truly am. You only tried to suppress the real me and fit me into the mold of the perfect boyfriend. You wanted me to be something I am not and when I decided to break through that, you couldn't take it.«

»But Oswald could?«

»He could. He can«

Isabella suddenly seemed a lot calmer - much like a hot air balloon that suddenly deflated as if she had finally realized something that she hadn't been able to see before. Yet, he was not nearly naive enough to think that she would give up so easily or actually understand that his love for Oswald was real.

»You changed.« She mumbled. »I hardly recognize you anymore.«

»Because I am no longer a bumbling nervous mess.«

When he had started dating her, he had been a nervous wreck. It was true that he hadn't wanted her in the first place but Isabella had been nice to him. She had been kind to him and complimented his intelligence. It hadn't all been bad. She had shared his affinity for riddles and books. Isabella had been the closest thing to what he had actually desired to have and it had been her making a move on him for once. For the first time in his life, someone had shown an interest in him, someone had decided that he was desirable in some way. She had paraded him around school with pride and had not been shy to tell everyone that Edward was her boyfriend. Yet, it was different now with Oswald. He had felt more like a trophy that was being shown off by her. She had wanted a boyfriend to show to the world - and especially her sister - that there was someone who would want to have her as their girlfriend. It never was about him. Perhaps she was now realizing this too. When Oswald looked at him, it was like he was the only man in the world that mattered. When Isabella had looked at him, he had felt as if he was just another accessory for her.

»All my life, I felt like there was someone inside of me. Someone stronger and smarter. No one else saw that, except Oswald.« He didn't know what it was about the way he looked at her now but Isabella actually took a step back from him as if he had seen something in his eyes that scared her. »And now I know how to be him. I can't deny that you helped that, in a way. Had you not went to my father to tell all those lies about me, I might never have been brave enough to take the step I needed to take. So thank you.« He actually managed a smile as he too took a step backward. »And I would advise you to stay as far away from Oswald as possible - perhaps go back to Europe. You see, he is quite the jealous little fella. And he is known to hold grudges.«

This time, as he walked back into the gym he did not feel awkward at all. The neon lights of the party were embracing him, hugging him as he found Oswald standing near Butch and Tabby a bit off to the side. When they first arrived here, he had felt a bit uncomfortable in this suit and this situation, scared by his own bravery to actually come here with Oswald and actually wear this loud green suit. But as he caught Oswald’s eyes from across the room now, there was this certain feeling in the back of his mind - a click, as if a switch had been flipped. He couldn't quite explain it and yet he knew that whatever they would soon be facing, he and Oswald would come out on top - because that was where they were meant to be.  

 

**-End of Chapter 23-**


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance! This chapter is a little messy in parts

Gotham was wrapped up in a thick blanket of fresh snow like a child that had been tucked in by its mother.

As a child growing up in downtown with his mother, he had always loved Christmas. Even though they had been alone and only had each other, Christmas had always been a feast. They had prepared dinner together, sat around their little tree that had been drowned in hand-crafted old ornaments, sang stupid Christmas songs and played the piano together. They had opened their gifts, snuggled on the sofa with hot cocoa and crappy holiday movies. They didn't have much back then and the gifts his mother had gotten him never quite what he had wanted but it had been enough.

Since his mother’s death, he had come to realize that not everything between them had been good and that his mother had not always done the right thing - but the memories he had of her were of love and the serenity of their little apartment. He missed her especially on days like this or his birthday and wished her to still be at his side on a day when he needed her so badly.

It had started to snow in the afternoon, right before Oswald had changed into the suit he had crafted with his father. Small white flakes at first. Only an hour before the guests would finally arrive, had the snow started to pick up a notch again. The sky above was of a clear azure color as the flakes fell softly to the ground and coated the trees around the house like powdered sugar. It was a perfect winter’s day. The perfect Christmas day.

A part of him was afraid of what was to come in his life from now on but as he stood at the window and saw Edward getting out of Fish Mooney’s truck in that vibrant green suit again. He could only smile at the sight of his boyfriend in this suit that seemed to fit him so very well. Ed, much like a butterfly, seemed to have realized that he could not go back to being a caterpillar. He looked like a man on a mission as he caught a glimpse of Oswald through the thick window of the parlor in the front of the house. They shared a small little smile through the frosted glass and Oswald felt his heart pick up the pace just a bit.

※※※※※※※

Christmas at the van Dahl house was very different from what Edward was used to. He had expected it to be much more formal and the van Dahls did not disappoint in this regard. The house looked pristine on this special day. The floors were shiny and polished, not a single bit of dust lying around the house. He could almost see how Grace had been ordering the maid around. The decorations were tasteful and discreet. A garland here, a mistletoe there.

Since his mother's death, Christmas had been a day like any other day of the week. He had never given into the illusion that his father might properly celebrate this special day of the year with him in any way after her passing. In fact, his father had volunteered for extra shifts at the factory each year when Christmas and New Years rolled around so that he wouldn't need to spend more time than necessary with his son on those days. And Ed, left to his own devices most of the time, had done nothing but roam the neighborhood or sit in front of the TV until he couldn't stand all those sappy happy Christmas movies any longer in which there always was the perfect family, always a happy ending for everyone.

Around him, the other kids would gush about the holidays in school or about the things they were going to get or had gotten as presents. The last present Edward had ever gotten was a Rubix cube on the last Christmas he had had with his mother. He remembered the day as if it had been yesterday. She had already been so weak and frail. Back then they hadn't known that she wouldn't make it into the new year. Ed had joined her in bed that Christmas morning. His father had taken an extra shift that day to pay for the medical supplies his wife needed and Edward had curled up beside her, playing with the cube until he first solved it.

His father had thrown the cube away the next year in a drunken rage and that had been the end of that.

At first, he hadn't been too keen on the idea of spending Christmas with Oswald's family but then, as Elijah van Dahl had extended the invitation even to Fish and Butch, he couldn't have possibly said no to this. It was a nice gesture of the man. After all, Fish and Butch had been Oswald's family for a few months. They had cared for him and protected him and Elijah van Dahl wanted to honor and acknowledge that.

The day was nice enough, he assumed. They went on a walk with Fish and Elijah before dinner while Butch had stayed behind to chat with Charles. As per usual, Sasha had preferred the solitude of her room and her phone. Not that anyone would miss a moody bratty arrogant teenage girl on such a lovely day. Ed actually enjoyed staying at the house that day. He enjoyed having Oswald cling to his arm outside, walking for once without his crutch even though he seemed a little weak on his legs that day. He enjoyed later sitting in front of a crackling fire while the cook was preparing the dinner and having Oswald in his arm while they were playing games with the others like a normal family would do on such a day.

It was dark outside when they all gathered in the dining room in beautiful warm candlelight. For the first time in his life, Edward thought that this was what Christmas was supposed to feel like. He sat with his family at a table, the guy he loved at his side and delicious food in front of him. What more could a man want?

Of course, it would be nice for the truth to finally be revealed but at the very least Elijah van Dahl seemed to get better with every day now. He was radiant and looked healthy that night. Then again, the healthier the father seemed to get, the sicker Oswald seemed to become. He was thinner again, paler and hardly touched his food that night as they sat together and yet his mind seemed set on following through with their plan. It was just the stress of the holidays, Oswald would reassure their friends. Just him missing his mother on this first Christmas without her. Hell, if anyone knew how Oswald felt like, it would be Edward, obviously. And still, Oswald was putting up a brave front for the world around him.

»I feel truly blessed.« Elijah spoke up with a warm smile as he raised his wine glass ceremoniously. »To sit amongst my family and my new friends. This Christmas, as another year comes to an end, I truly feel grateful for the surprises these past months brought. We lost people that were dear to us and we will never forget them and yet all the hardships and darkness were for a reason and there truly is always a light at the end of the tunnel. This year I lost my mother, as Oswald did lose his mother, but her death brought my son back home and for that I am thankful. This year our family has grown exceptionally.« He nodded towards Edward and gave Fish and Butch a smile.

To Edward, it was a completely new experience that someone accepted him so unconditionally as Elijah did. Isabella’s parents had never liked him, never accepted him at their darling daughter’s side. And here he was now at Oswald’s side at the beautifully set festive table and Oswald's father not only accepted him to be a part of his son’s life but outright welcomed him into his family with wide open arms. He wouldn't have thought that he would ever get to experience something like this. Under different circumstances, he would have allowed the burning behind his eyes. Now, however, they raised their glasses for a toast after Elijah’s little speech.

Oswald actually grabbed his left hand that was lying on the table between them as he took a sip of his own wine. Grace had initially protested giving the teens wine but Elijah had claimed that it was Christmas and Oswald and Edward old enough to have a glass of it while Sasha and Charles stuck to water instead. Unlike his sister, Charles seemed actually to enjoy the dinner with his family and the strangers that were sitting on Oswald’s side of the table. He made conversation with Butch and Fish all throughout it - that was until Oswald suddenly started coughing right at Edward’s side.

First, it was only a small little cough as if he had choked on his food - then again, he had hardly touched his plate until then. It was Fish who sat on Oswald’s left-hand side, who started rubbing soothing circles into his back as the coughing continued and grew worse. He tried taking deep breaths leaning back into his chair with Fish’s hands still on his back while he grabbed his chest, his fingers digging into his own shirt.

»Is everything alright, Dear?« Grace asked with a mask of concern while Sasha didn't really seem to notice that something was wrong at first. Once more, her eyes were glued to her phone that she so impolitely had brought with her to the table. Regardless of her immaculate appearance of a high-society princess in her black sequin dress, she was very much a brat.

»Oswald, are you okay?« His father reached over the table to grasp his other hand.

»Yes … Yes, I am fine.« He managed to get out between coughs and took another shaky breath. »It's just … It's too hot … I can't breathe… I feel like someone is standing on my chest … I-«  Finally, as the coughs became so bad that he could no longer even form another word and as he then started clawing at his own throat, was when everyone around the table seemed to grasp that something was seriously wrong with the van Dahl heir.

Oswald was desperately gasping for breath as Edward frantically opened his tie and the first two buttons of his shirt. Next to Ed, Butch had jumped off his chair to run and get more water for the little bird. Sasha was screaming bloody murder, Charles frozen in his chair and Grace already running over to their side of the table to come and help. It all happened so fast and yet it seemed to take an eternity as Oswald was choking as if strangled by an invisible force before his eyes finally rolled back into his skull and he slumped forward into Ed’s arms - lifeless.

»Oswald?« He gasped as he gently shook his boyfriend but Oswald’s head only rolled from one side to the other at this. A cruel reminder of the day he had pulled him out of the pool to breathe back life into him. »Oswald, hey!« Still, no reaction. »Hey, come on, stop with this nonsense…« However, even before he pressed his fingers into his neck, he knew what he would feel. »He’s dead.« The whisper that escaped him did not even sound like his own voice and his first reaction was not to jump up or push Oswald’s body away but instead to pull him even tighter into his arms as if he needed to shield him from the other people around the table.

A deadly silence settled onto the room and was only shattered as Butch returned to the room and almost immediately dropped the decanter in his hands to have it shatter all over the ancient floor.

No one seemed able to say or do anything at all for what felt like an eternity - except Grace who broke out in sobs and crocodile tears as she slumped back onto her chair. Sasha just seemed confused and Charles, as much as Elijah shell-shocked by the developments.

»We need to call an ambulance…« Grace muttered between sobs as she was dabbing a napkin on her cheeks to dry her tears. »Oh, my poor darling boy! What happened? Why did he- Was it something in the food?«

Edward’s own voice dropped a few octaves as he raised his eyes to look at Grace with a narrowed glance down his nose. »Oh, I think you know exactly what happened.«

»What?« Grace gasped.

»Edward!« Fish hissed, a clear warning not to spew all the hateful comments that they only made towards each other about Grace until now. Fish could probably sense his fury.

»My dear boy, what are you talking about?« Elijah, though shocked, seemed to desperately cling to his uptight upbringing. It was not decent for a man of his class and upbringing to truly show any kind of emotion, after all. It was like a parachute. His failsafe. A part of him was afraid that he would drop dead any moment, though.

»When I move, I tip the scales. I am the source of many tales. Around your foot, a sign of wealth. Around a stick, a sign of health. Around your chest, your final breath. On your neck, say hi to death. What am I?«

»What?« Grace erupted again this time clearly angry at Edward’s lack of sensitivity at the situation as it seemed. As if it wouldn't be him who was holding the dead body of the guy he loved with all his heart.

»A snake.« Charles answered quietly. »The answer is a snake.«

»Correct!« Ed grinned and to everyone he must look insane as he gave Charles a thumbs up as if all of this would just be some stupid little game. »A snake because that's exactly what you are, Gracie. You are poisoning those you claim to love. First, your husband, now your stepson.«

»Edward!« Fish snapped again but there wasn’t much else that she could do. After all, she couldn't hold his mouth shut, could he? There was no one and nothing holding Edward back now anymore. The thought was oddly liberating.

»How dare you!« Grace spat. »You forget yourself, young man! Sasha, please be a dear and go tell the butler to call an ambulance right now!«

»You sound so surprised, Gracie.« He mocked. »How odd! Isn't it odd? Yes, I'm pretty sure it is.«

»What are you- You lost your mind!« Grace breathed in horror and Sasha, though already on her feet, stopped in her tracks at his words. In her eyes, there probably was no reason to make haste. Oswald was dead, after all.

»Possible.« Ed smirked. »But didn't you plan Oswald's death? Didn't you poison him over the course of a few weeks now? How can this truly surprise you then?«

»Edward.« Fish spoke up and put a warning and at the same time grounding hand on his shoulder. »Sweetheart … You don't know what you're saying, you are in shock, Baby. I think it would be better if we go and lay Oswald into the living room, don't you think? He would be more comfortable there, Pumpkin.« She was talking to him like to a child that didn't know or fully grasp what was happening around him now.

Her voice was soft and gentle as she tried to coax him into letting go of Oswald. Edward, however, only grabbed him tighter, his knuckles turning white as he dug his fingernails into the soft fabric of his self-made suit. It looked beautiful on Oswald. Was he looking crazy to the people around him? Judging by their horrified expressions that was exactly what they thought. All of them, perhaps even Elijah, thought that he had completely lost his mind, broken down by the so sudden loss of his boyfriend.

»You don't believe me, huh?« He muttered. »My actions seem crazy to you?«

»Ed, Love, no, that's not the point. Just try to take a deep breath for me, won't you?«

»But it's true.« He replied and looked back at Grace. »And you know it's true, right, Grace? You know that I know. You know that Oswald knew. And that's why you had to get rid of him, isn't it right?« With not much of a pause, Edward shoved his right hand into the front pocket of his trousers before pulling out a small pill bottle. »Looks familiar?«

»That's Oswald’s painkillers.« Fish replied flabbergasted.

»Correct!« Again, Ed gave a thumbs up. »What's funny, though, is that there are no painkillers in there. It's actually a new concoction of a certain drug - a poison if you might. It is very much a combination of beta blockers and antihypertensives mixed with something a bit more aggressive, actually, that is highly reactive to alcohol. Funny story. Oswald noticed his pills looking strange one morning and had them tested. Turns out if he had been taking them like he usually would have every day to deal with the pains from his leg, he would have suffered a quite sudden, quite brutal heart attack and died within seconds. The poison itself - nearly untraceable if you don't know what to look for. Apparently, this special drug is favored by scorned wives and all those with little patience.«

»If?« Grace echoed breathlessly. Her mask had not slipped until this very moment as the body in Edward’s arms started to move again.

»If. Correct.« Oswald hummed as he sat up straight again. His blue eyes were cold as ice as he directed his gaze at Grace now, not paying any attention to the other people around the table as he then rose to his feet. He was vibrating with anger as he placed his hands on the table before him. »Luckily, I noticed the change, Gracie. Because the real mean thing about this drug is that it actually works against pain! Luckily, the father of my good friend Lee Thompkins is a pharmacist. Luckily, he took my worries seriously enough to actually test my painkillers - and my father's heart medicine as well.«

»You did what?« Grace shouted. No one sitting at the table seemed very happy about their little charade - though clearly relieved that Oswald was, in fact, alive and well and full of spite. He looked positively dangerous as he stood at the table and stared down his nose at Grace now. In another world, he might slice her throat with the carving knife.

»Father, tell me« Oswald said as he turned his attention towards his father now. Elijah was still as pale as a ghost but he looked composed as if nothing out of the ordinary had actually happened. A true picture of the aristocracy. »Have you noticed a change in your health ever since your collapsed at the beginning of this month?«

His father seemed confused as if he was unable to keep up with everything that was happening around him, at first. »I have, yes.« His father managed to get out, still baffled by the night’s events and the sudden turn, still shocked by his son’s surprise death and resurrection. »I started to feel better quite quickly. Even my doctor was amazed by my quick recovery.«

»That's what I thought! Otherwise, our little act here would have probably killed you right here and now, huh?« Again, he trained his eyes on Grace. »Funny thing, really. Because, you know what the pharmacist, Mr. Thompkins, found in my father's heart medicine?« Grace’s mouth was a thin line by this point. »No? Well, I was surprised too! Turned out, my father has taken placebos for god knows how long!«

»I don't know what you are talking about, Oswald! You should sit down and apologize to your father for the shock you gave him! You could have killed him with this stupid stunt! And this impudent boy! I don't ever want to see him again in this house!« Grace all but screeched before he tried to regain her composure, her cheeks a flaring red.

»Well, it really is funny how medicine for a condition such as my father’s can suddenly turn into completely useless placebos, right?«

»If this is true it has to have been a mistake by the manufacturer!«

»Well, you see that's what I thought too at first. I mean, of course, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, dearest Stepmother.« He took actual joy in exposing her lies like this. He couldn't blame his boyfriend for it either. They had crafted their little act quite well these past weeks, with Oswald even putting on makeup to appear even paler than he already was. »Then I started digging, though, and I found out quite quickly that you actually had someone deliver you those exact same pills every two months - in other words, whenever my father needed a new prescription - for the last year, which is also when my father's health drastically started to deteriorate, right? Mr. Thompkins was so kind to fill up his prescription with the real pills and voila: my father started to get better! It's a miracle. And as soon as I knew about what you did to my painkillers, I decided that I would act as if I was experiencing the symptoms of the drugs.«

»Oswald … No … Your stepmother would never do such things.« His father urged and though he still kept his composure in check, there was a certain sense of pain in his eyes that not even he could deny. »And why would she? She loves you very dearly as she loves me.«

»I drive men mad for love of me, easily beaten, never free. What am I?« Edward found himself murmuring almost out of reflex but before Elijah could even begin to comprehend the riddle, it was Charles who surprised him once again with an answer.

»Gold.« Charles muttered breathlessly and stared at his mother in surprise and shock.

»Oh, but she would, Father!« Oswald huffed, poison seeping from his very tongue as he spoke. He was a snake ready to strike. »Simply because she knew she would be able to get away with it. You know why?«

»I don't know, Oswald, why would she think she could get away with something like this?« Edward asked in a singsong voice as if all the others were not here with them now. As if only Oswald and he were here with Grace and Elijah and as if all of this was just one big show, some sort of theater.

»Maybe it's because she is having an affair with the family’s attorney for over twenty years? Maybe it's because she managed to get away with murder once before? Poor old Granny had to die only because she wanted to tell my father about me, isn't that right, Gracie?«

»You have completely gone mad!« Grace erupted.

»Oh, but we have proof, don't we, Edward?«

»Why, yes we do!« He clapped his hands much to Grace’s horror. Her daughter, on the other hand, looked almost as if she had been thrown into a horror movie and Edward and Oswald went completely insane. »In fact, we have already given the proof of your crimes to a trustworthy source - at the GCPD, no less. Fish might know who we are talking about.«

»You don't mean … Harvey Bullock?« Fish gasped.

»Ding-ding-ding!« Edward chimed with a grin so huge that it hurt his cheeks plastered on his face. »Call it our failsafe if you must - Just in case something would happen to us. We compiled all the documents and the test results of Mr. Thompkins’ and sent it to Detective Bullock to open in case something would happen to either one of us.«

»I can't believe it…« Grace huffed and turned to her husband. »Elijah! Would you put a stop to this paranoid ramblings? First, they claim I wanted to kill you and Oswald and now they assassinate my character even further in insinuating I would have cheated on you and killed your poor mother! What comes next, Oswald? Do you want to tell me that your siblings are not Elijah’s children?« She laughed and the sinister little grin on Oswald’s face only spread at this. He looked ravishing like this.

»I’m glad you asked.« He chuckled. »Because-«

»Enough!« For the first time since all of this started, Elijah van Dahl finally spoke up against this show, putting an end to the back and forth between them and Grace. He actually rose from his chair slowly, putting his hands flat on the table before him. Gone was the usual soft looking, somewhat naive man. In front of them stood the head of the van Dahl household, assertive and with authority. »Enough.« He added a little softer than before. »It's enough. Enough of the schemes, enough of the lies, enough of the betrayals. Grace, I know about the affair.«

»Elijah you can't honestly-«

»I knew about it from the beginning and I decided to tolerate it. When we married I was certain you would do the right thing and break the affair off, have Anthony marry and stay true to your own vows but then Sasha came around and I knew that she wasn't mine. It was pretty obvious, actually.« He only paused so that his children were able to grasp the shock they surely had just suffered. »Who knows I might have tolerated it until the end - but I believe Oswald.« His eyes were soft and gentle as his gaze fell upon Oswald and then Edward.

»You do what?« Grace screeched. »Why do you believe some urchin that's only after your inheritance over your own wife?«

»Because that _urchin_ has not given me any reason to distrust him up until this point, Grace. He is my son and he should have been with me from the beginning. He was not the person who kept this knowledge from me and he was not the one bullying another person into running away from home in fear of being rejected by his parents just because of the person they loved!« Grace was stunned into silence by this and so was Oswald. »I am noticing much more than other people might think.« Under different circumstances, Edward would have actually produced a laugh at that but then Elijah took a deep breath and shook his head in resignation. »If you would excuse me. I think I need a moment to collect myself in privacy.«

No one tried to stop his father as if they all had come to a silent agreement that it would be beneficial to absolutely everyone in the dining room to not move a muscle and have him stay here. In fact, the moment Elijah van Dahl had left the room, his posture as always straight as a board and his walk slow and deliberate, Fish actually rose from her seat next to Oswald discarded chair.

She did not wait for another second to actually hurry around the table and before anyone knew what was happening or could stop her, she had hauled off and slapped Grace so hard across the face that the resounding smack seemed to echo from the walls of the dining room. Grace very nearly lost his balance at that and instinctively pressed her left hand against her bright red cheek.

»What the hell?« Sasha screeched but, for once, she seemed wise enough to actually shut her mouth before Fish could target her next.

»That was for trying to poison my Baby, you Bitch!« Fish hissed so close to Grace’s face that his stepmother could certainly feel Fish’s breath on her skin now.

To everyone’s surprise, neither Sasha nor Charles were her next target, though. Again, Fish hurried around the table and though Edward was certain that she would actually hug Oswald close to her, she slapped him as well - though not nearly as hard as Grace. His gut instinct was to protect his boyfriend and so he jumped to his feet only to be her next victim. He had to admit, his father’s punches had nothing on Fish Mooney’s slaps. As her hand collided with his left cheek he was certain he could hear the church bells chiming down the road and a choir of angels sing in his ears. He felt as if she had ripped his head right off.

»And that's for scaring me so badly!« She shouted at them both just ass Charles rushed out of the room and past Butch who still stood frozen in shock in the doorway. »I thought you were dead, Oswald! And you helped him with all of this!« She pointed one of her very pointy well-manicured fingers threateningly at Edward. »You will not have heard the last of this, Edward Nygma! I cannot ground Oswald for his awful behavior tonight but I can very well ground you for the rest of the school year! So you better choose your next words very wisely, young man!«

It was at this moment that Grace van Dahl decided to make a beeline for the door. She had not calculated that Butch Gilzean, quarterback of the football team of Gotham High, would actually try to stop her. He could be very quick if he had the necessary inspiration to do so and so, with a shrill shriek, Grace van Dahl was captured by the bulldozer that was Butch.

»Not so fast, Lady!« He growled. »We wouldn't want to miss the police when they arrive, right?«

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It was late when he finally collected the bit of courage he still had after the events of this night and knocked twice on the door of his father’s private reading room upstairs. The police had left an hour ago after handling the situation and getting the first testimonies of those involved. His father hadn't wanted to talk to Detective Bullock just now and Oswald had excused him in reference to his bad health and the shock he had suffered tonight from the revelations their little act had brought. Bullock seemed to be one of the good cops. He might have been at his wit’s end in dealing with Oswald all those months ago, but at least he knew how to make his job. To his genuine surprise, he was welcomed inside almost right away by the same soft-spoken voice his father usually used when talking to him.

»I wanted to apologize.« Oswald announced as soon as he entered his father’s room and closed the door behind him. Outside of the small window behind his father's chair, the sky was black and the fresh snow glistening in the light of a full moon.

»Have the other guests left already?« His father asked as he glanced at the old grandfather clock near the door. It was already almost midnight.

»Ten minutes ago.« Only Ed would stay at the mansion. It was Christmas, after all, and there were presents under the tree in the great room for him as well, neatly wrapped into bright green wrapping paper. What a weird night this had been … It had not all gone down as he had planned it, of course, but at least now the truth was out and he had nothing left to fear from Grace. Well, except if she would just kill him in his sleep with a butcher’s knife now. Well, but not even she would be able to explain that away, right?

»What a shame. I should have properly bid them farewell.« His father hummed before he closed the book he was reading and gently put it on the small table next to his chair. For a moment or two, he just looked at Oswald and then reached out to pat the cushioned footstool near his chair. Oswald quickly moved over to join his father and sat down gingerly.

»Father, I-«

»I want you to know, Oswald, that I am not angry with you - or Edward, for that matter. In fact, as I had time to process what happened tonight, I am relieved that the truth has now come out and that Sasha and Charles know the truth they deserved to know for so long. It was not right to keep them in the dark for so long, I suppose. However, I am not happy about the fact that you and Edward decided that this whole charade was necessary - in front of our guests, no less.« There was still a mischievous twinkle in his father's eyes while he spoke and that, at last, made Oswald feel a bit more relaxed about this whole thing again. The truth was, he had been terribly afraid that his father might throw him out after all of this.

»Your shock and Grace’s reaction had to be genuine.« He mumbled though this would not explain anything. »I don't understand, Father … If you knew that Charles and Sasha are not your kids … Why did you never say anything? You knew that Grace had an affair all this time and yet you never confronted her about it?«

»You will learn, Oswald, that there are certain things that are not being spoken about in a society as ours. Not talking about affairs of this kind is almost some sort of tradition in the realm of aristocracy - sadly, I might add. In our circles, it is very much common to marry for wealth and forging alliances and less about love which makes it almost expected that one partner if not both seek love elsewhere. I knew that Grace didn't love me from the beginning as she knew that I didn't love her. However, I was of the opinion and belief that we could set our differences aside and come to learn to love each other. When Sasha was born … I thought that I couldn't give Grace what she wanted - but at least I could be a companion. For the longest time, actually, until I learned about you, I was convinced that I was not able to produce children. Even before Grace fell pregnant I was sure of that. So, I thought, if I would just not talk about it, just not address it, I could have the family I always wanted. It wasn't ideal, but it was what I got and I loved those children and decided to raise them as my own.«

He paused for a moment and looked out of the window as if he needed to collect his thoughts again. For the first time, Oswald actually felt guilty. He hadn't thought about how much this revelation might hurt his father - or his siblings. Sasha seemed angrier or even embarrassed than hurt throughout the rest of the night. Charles, on the other hand, had been hit quite hard by the truth. He had locked himself in his room shortly after Elijah went upstairs and didn't come out of his room since.

»I’m sorry, Father … I didn't think … It wasn't my right to say those things.«

»It wasn't.« Elijah nodded but looked at him with a smile again. »But someone had to.« His hands were warm for the first time in a long while as he grabbed Oswald’s hands tightly. It was nice seeing that his health had improved so drastically. »And I’ve seen so much of your mother in you tonight, Oswald. You are just as fierce and strong as she was. You stepped up and did what was right and what was necessary and I am grateful that you did. We can now all move on from this on an even playing field.«

»But what about Grace, Father? You can't let her get away with that. She wanted to murder you. Her family is bankrupt - there are letters proving this. She talked about it in her letters to Mr. Graves. They planned all of this, Father. She killed grandma and they wanted to kill you to get your inheritance and then be together.« He shook his head gently. »But then I came along and ruined their plan, I guess. And when you decided that you wanted me to inherit everything, Grace decided to get me out of the way before your death. After all, if I would have died before you, her plan would have worked again, right? She wanted it to look like I suffered a sudden heart failure because of some untreated condition. She wanted to claim that heart disease ran in the family, after all, and Graves would have then bribed the coroner - if necessary.« Shortly he ruffled his hair. »I don't even want to think about what they might have done to Edward if they had succeeded. They might have killed him and made it look like a suicide.«

»I do have a smart son.« Elijah sighed with a fond little smile playing on his ashen face. He looked older than even hours before. »And you are right, of course. I cannot let her get away with all of this. Maybe I could have, if this would only be about me … But she tried to kill you, my only son, my flesh and blood and how am I supposed to ever let that slide? Don't worry, my Boy. I already informed a good friend of mine, Mr. Dent. He is a lawyer - and a much better one than Mr. Graves too. He will handle the situation now that Grace is in custody for the night. I asked him to get in contact with Detective Bullock at the GCPD about the whole thing and I am positive that arrests will be made discreetly in a short while. I don't want this to become a spectacle for the media - for the sake of Charles and Sasha.«

»And what about them? I mean … When Grace will be found guilty and sent to prison?«

»I also asked Mr. Dent to draw up a divorce settlement. I think it is fair that Grace does not get a penny out of the divorce after her attempts of murdering me.« His father never failed to amaze him, that much was certain. He would have thought that he would show more leniency towards his wife, mercy, perhaps. »And about Charles and Sasha … I don't think they deserve being sent away to an orphanage. I raised them until now and I will continue to raise them until they are eighteen, Oswald. They are not at fault for their mother’s wrongdoings. But I think it would do them some good if they would leave Gotham. Perhaps going to the same boarding school as their mother might benefit them in the long run. I doubt that Sasha will be very happy at her current school as soon as the news of what took place at this house will have reached the school and her friends. I think it's safe to assume that you don't intend on changing schools now?«

»No.« Oswald huffed. For the longest time now he had not even thought about this topic anymore. »I’d rather stay where I am.«

»That's what I thought.« His father chuckled and patted his hands gently.

»I’m still sorry that it had to be tonight, Father.«

»Don't be, my Son. I am glad that it's over. In all honesty, I don't know if I would have had the courage to ever end this whole charade.« He sighed. »It's getting late, now. Maybe, after this eventful day, we should all settle down and get some rest.«

Oswald nodded quickly and rose to his feet. For a second, he wanted to tell his father that he should lock his door just to be safe but then he shrugged it off. Not even someone as wicked as Grace would try to kill his father now after everything had been revealed in front of witnesses. So, in the end, he bid his father goodnight and left the room to head for his bedroom.

»Oswald!« The voice came from the shadows of the hallway but he would recognize it under a thousand and so, with a smile he walked closer until the darkness was about to swallow him. Ed stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom - because, of course, they could not try to convince his father to let them sleep in his room yet again. Not after what happened tonight. Ed was already in his pajamas, his glasses a little crooked on his nose.

»What are you doing?« He huffed and just as he had stepped close enough, Edward produced something from behind his back to hold it over his own head - out of reach for Oswald. The laugh he drew from Oswald’s lips with that motion came completely involuntarily and prompted Oswald to clasp one hand over his mouth. It didn't seem right to laugh in a night like this after events like these. Yet, he could only find amusement in the way Edward was holding a mistletoe above his head and pursed his lips expectantly as if he really needed to give Oswald a reason to kiss his stupid face. »Idiot.« He smirked before he raised to his toes to press a chaste little kiss to his lips, his hands searching for a bit of balance as he held onto Ed’s firm shoulders tightly.

»I couldn't go to sleep without a proper goodnight kiss.« Edward hummed as he closed his arms around him and drew him close to his chest. Clearly, Oswald had stepped into a trap just now. He felt like some improvident wanderer who had gotten lost in the beauty of a venus-flytrap and had come too close to it only to be pulled in and being eaten alive. Then again … His father had said that Edward could not sleep in _his_ bed. He had said nothing about Oswald sleeping in Ed’s bed, right?

»You are going to be the end of me, Edward Nygma.« Oswald sighed before he opened Edward’s door with one hand behind his boyfriend’s back and gently shoved him inside to follow him. Wouldn't his head be so full at the moment and his heart beating so fast, he would have maybe heard the small chuckle that their behavior prompted from the throat of the man who stood at the end of the hallway and had witnessed their kiss.

A man who was glad to see that, finally, the ancient house was filled with real love again. And who was he to get in the way of young love?

 

**-End of Chapter 24-**


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! Enjoy the fluff I guess

The house looked scary how it was towering on the hill over all the other houses in the area. As the car was driving up the serpentine road and through the gates into the driveway that was leading to the house, he felt dread settle into the pit of his stomach. The house was old and looked like it came straight out of a horror movie that the older kids in the orphanage would be watching in the middle of the night. It was surrounded by dark woods and the weather vane that was set up on the roof of a crooked little tower was creaking in the sharp wind.

He sunk deeper into the backseat of the car and tried to make himself appear smaller than he actually was - maybe even to disappear. He tried to vanish into the dark fabric of the seat as if this way the driver and Mrs. Miles might forget about him and would just turn around to drive back to the orphanage again. No matter how much he hated it there - better the devil you know, right? Instead, the car came to a halt in front of the house.

As the friendly woman in the front seat got out of the car and opened his door, he slowly climbed out of the car even though everything inside of him screamed he should rather not do so. In the end, he followed Mrs. Miles through the freshly fallen snow towards the front door. His only companion was the small brown teddy bear he had gotten on his first day in the orphanage and a bag with his very few personal belongings that Mrs. Miles was carrying for him. He didn't like the teddy much but it was the only _friend_ he had.

The heavy wooden door swung open after Mrs. Miles had knocked twice by a dark-haired man in an expensive looking suit and white gloves. If he had ever tried to imagine what a proper British butler looked like, this man would truly befit his mental image as he bid them inside with a little bow and a friendly »Welcome to van Dahl manor«.

The ancient house, van Dahl manor, was drafty as they stepped into a lavish reception hall with a huge staircase and a floor made out of black and white checkered tiles with an expensive looking red carpet decorating the ground.

»Mr. van Dahl is waiting for you in his office.« The butler stated and politely gestured down the hallway.

»Would you mind waiting here for a second, Martin? I’ll be right back.« Mrs. Miles smiled down at him and even before he could nod at her question she had followed the butler down the drafty hall and left him alone already. The sound of the old grandfather clock chiming on the first-floor landing made him jump even more than the sound of footsteps running down some other hallway upstairs.

»No running in the hallways, Ivy!« A shout rang through the house coming from upstairs. A man. Perhaps this Mr. van Dahl? Then again the butler had just said Mr. van Dahl, whoever that was, was waiting for Mrs. Miles in his office. He felt anxious just standing here and not to know what was going to happen to him or who his adoptive parents even were.

»But grandpa asked me to get him this book!« The voice of a girl answered, high pitched and in a cheerful tune.

»And I do believe grandpa would much appreciate it if you would not fall down the stairs and bash your head in while doing so!«

»Sorry, Papa!« The girl’s voice sounded again before she appeared on the landing upstairs. For a moment, Martin was not even quite sure if she had noticed him as she ran down the stairs - clearly not listening to what her father had told her before - with a mane of bright red hair flying after her and a thick old book pressed close to her chest. She was pretty and the bright green of her dress only highlighted that. The girl, Ivy, paused only as she reached the reception hall and her eyes finally fell upon him as if she had not even noticed him before. She couldn't be that much older than him. Twelve, perhaps.

Instead, of saying anything to him, though, she squealed and rushed down the hall to where Mrs. Miles and the butler had vanished. »Selina!« The girl suddenly all but screeched. »He’s here! He’s here!«

»This girl will be the death of me.« This time he actually did jump as he noticed the figure that was descending down the lavish staircase. He had been so preoccupied with the sudden apparition of the girl that he had not even noticed that a man had followed not long after her down the stairs. He was walking with a limp, clad in an equally, if not more, expensive perfectly tailored black suit as the butler. His hair was black as the darkest winter night and his pale skin looked almost a bit unnatural in the dim lighting of the hall.

Maybe he was a vampire.

He looked like a vampire with his hair styled weirdly as if birds had been nesting in it for weeks. His smile, though, as he reached the bottom step, was friendly and warm. »Hello, Martin.« He greeted him, unlike his daughter previously. »I’m so sorry you walked straight into this chaos. I told Ivy that the first impression always is the most important - after all, you can never repeat the first impression, right?« Martin found himself mesmerized by the way the man talked and moved as he came closer towards him. A nod was all the response the stranger got from him.

Though the word _stranger_ seemed to be the wrong choice for the young man in front of him. Martin, though a child, was not completely ignorant to the goings-on in this city. After all, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot was a man so notorious in the high society of Gotham that his face usually appeared in every newspaper or on television almost every single day. The youngest mayor Gotham ever had always made headlines as being the first mayor of Gotham city who actually had a grip on the rampant crime.

»It's quite a bit hectic this time of the year.« Mr. Cobblepot apologized before he stopped in front of him. »With the elections right around the corner. I think you can imagine that we are all a little excited. Not to forget that it's almost time for Christmas too. Then again, with two pubescent girls in the house, I think it's safe to assume that there will never be any peace and quiet.« Mr. Cobblepot chuckled. »But where are my manners, young man? I’m Oswald.« He held out his hand to him and Martin was quick to shake it, even though he could not quite keep his hand from shaking a little. Until this very moment, he had not known where Mrs. Miles would bring him, after all.

Every child in the orphanage always dreamed of the day that they would get adopted and yet he had only felt dread at the thought. He hadn't known where he would go. He had never seen his new parents before. So often before today, his foster families had turned out to be a living nightmare and not one person had ever wanted to adopt him. But this man in front of him, Mayor Cobblepot, had - apparently. He had so many questions for him and yet, he was unable to ask a single one - even with his notepad.

Mr. Cobblepot smiled warmly as he enclosed his hand with both of his. They were not exactly warm but warmer than his own still. »This is all a bit overwhelming, I assume.« He continued talking before he let go of Martin again. »I apologize for the secrecy of all of this. I think you can imagine that a man in my position has to be careful at times. Nevertheless, I am glad that you are here with us now. Surely, you have many questions. Feel free to ask away.« He pointed with a small wink to the notepad that hung around Martin’s neck all the time. »Mrs. Miles is probably in my father’s office and settles everything with him for a while. This gives us a little time to get to know each other.«

Finally, Martin grabbed the notepad and the pen attached to it to scribble a question onto the paper. It was not nearly the first question that he actually wanted to ask and Mr. Cobblepot seemed to sense as much as he read the question then. But even if he knew that Martin wanted to ask entirely different things, he was polite enough not to pressure him.

»How many people live here?«

»Seven.« Oswald chuckled. »Eight, with you. A nice, even number. We have the butler, Mr. Hawks living in this house to our delight. Our two wonderful cooks Miss Thomas and her mother leave at nightfall, usually. Then there is my father, Mr. van Dahl, my husband Edward, of course, and the kids.«

»The kids?« Martin scribbled underneath the first question. As much as he hadn't known who his new parents would be, he had not known that he would have siblings either. Then again, one of them he had already seen, apparently.

»We have three - four with you.« Oswald explained. »The little ginger whirlwind you just saw is Ivy Pepper, she is twelve. She came to us last year together with her friend Selina Kyle. We only wanted to adopt Ivy at first but the girls only had each other and were pretty much joined at the hips, so we took them both in and ever since they brought much delight into this old house - and noise. Selina can be a bit grouchy sometimes, but she is a teenager, after all.« Oswald said with a roll of his eyes. »And then we have Robin.« His gaze softened even more as he said the name. »He’s only two. However, his father decided it would be a great idea to take him to work today. It's ‘bring your kids to work’ day at the GCPD. Edward can be a bit quirky at times.«  

Martin was a little overwhelmed by all of this. Mr. Cobblepot seemed nice enough but then again they had only just met and who knew if he wouldn't show his true face soon? He better be careful. And yet, he gladly followed him out of the reception hall and through the house. The house was like a labyrinth of rooms upon rooms while Mr. Cobblepot was happily explaining everything to him. He was like Alice after jumping into the rabbit hole and Mr. Cobblepot was the white rabbit he had to follow to at least try and make sense of everything that was happening. A part of him wondered if all of this was really happening until Mr. Cobblepot led him to a room upstairs and opened the door for him.

»And this will be your room.« Oswald smiled as he switched on the light and let Martin step inside first. »We didn't know what you would like so … Well, I hope you like it. If you want to change anything, never hesitate to tell any of us, right? We want you to feel at home here.«

The young mayor of Gotham seemed actually a bit nervous as Martin looked at him again before focussing on his new room. It was much bigger than the small room he had needed to share with four other boys in the orphanage. A set of four large windows allowed a marvelous view of the vast gardens. The bed was so big that Martin was sure that he would drown in it would he ever make the mistake of lying in the middle of the mattress. The furniture was old if not antique. There was already a small fire crackling in the fireplace on the opposite wall from the bed. He was a little nervous as he walked further into the room and had a small look around. He found an army of plushies sitting on a shelf and an old looking toy box at the foot of his bed. A narrow desk in one corner of the room was clearly meant to be the place where he would be doing his homework and he could only assume that one of the chests of drawers on the side of the room would hold a set of new clothes for him already.

»I understand that it's a little old-fashioned but-«

»It's perfect!« Martin turned around and held up his notepad quickly. The room, the entire house, looked like the inside of a Victorian dollhouse and though he wouldn't have thought it, he actually loved everything about that. Mr. Cobblepot who seemed so out of place and time when he would see him on TV looked perfectly normal in this house. On TV it was easy to see a confident strong young man in him but here, Martin thought, he could actually see the real person behind the veneer of power that he only got to see in the media. Mr. Cobblepot was a man like everyone else, a man with uncertainties and fears and that never got clearer to Martin than in the moment that Mr. Cobblepot smiled down at him.

»I’m glad you like it.« He replied softly. »It's very important to me that you feel comfortable and welcome here in this house.«

»Why me, though?« Martin quickly scribbled the question.

Oswald seemed surprised for a moment but then he sat down on the edge of Martin’s bed with a soft sigh as he clearly needed to relieve his leg. He had no idea what had happened to Mr. Cobblepot’s leg in the past but it looked painful.

»I know what it's been like to be an outcast, you know?« Oswald smiled sadly. »I know what it's like to be bullied. I saw you when I came to the orphanage to drop off a donation a few weeks ago. I saw how the other kids treated you. Don't think that I decided to adopt you out of pity. I saw potential in you. Despite the bullying you didn't cry or run away, you actually decided to give them their much-deserved payback when you lit that backpack on fire. Well, of course, I would have chosen a different, more elegant method of taking revenge but I think a backpack on fire delivered the message quite nicely as well.«

»I was grounded for that for a week.« Martin scribbled as his cheeks flared up bright red. He remembered the day Mayor Cobblepot described vividly and he remembered the uproar in the orphanage about someone famous coming to the house. So many kids had hoped that they might be able to score an adoption. So many of them had dressed their Sunday best and were on their best behavior that day. Only Martin hadn’t cared much for the famous guest or the chance of adoption. After all, who wanted to adopt a child that couldn't speak?

Then again, it wasn't that he wasn't able to speak. He just didn't want to. Ever since his parents' death, he hadn't said a word and by now he was almost afraid that he might have lost the ability. It was better this way. Grown-ups never listened anyway.

»Of course, you were!« Oswald huffed with humor lacing his voice and mirth in his blue eyes as he got up from the bed again. »My mother would have grounded you for an entire month for something like that - me too, by the way - but certainly not because you took matters into your own hand but because of the sloppy execution. I think it is most important for a fine young man - or girl - to defend himself and learn to fight back, if necessary. A good friend of mine taught me that when I was still at school and he was right in his assessment. The sad truth is, you can not always rely on adults to help you, Martin.«

His confusion must have shown on his face because Oswald gently brushed his fingers through Martin’s unruly curls with a fond smile. »Don't worry, we will teach you a thing or two about stuff like this in this house.«

※※※※※※※

The decision of having a biological child from a surrogate had been a very sensible process - as well as the decision that the child should be Oswald’s and not his. He wished to say that it had been a little more romantic as it actually had played out. In the end, it had been a bit like some kind of business interaction. Yet, Edward had never regretted any part of that decision either. They had all the time in the world for more kids and perhaps a kid of his own as well. But no matter who had been the sperm donor, Robin was their son, as well as Selina and Ivy were their daughters. The only difference was that their little boy was blood-related to Oswald but that did change nothing about the love they felt for the girls as well.

Elijah had never outright told his son that he needed to father an heir. He had never insisted on it and would have been perfectly happy with their mismatched little family of outcasts and orphans. Still, Oswald had learned a great deal all these years ago from dealing with his stepmother and step-siblings. He would never say it but Edward knew him better than Oswald sometimes knew himself and thus he knew that the memories of these days back in high school were sometimes still gnawing on him. If it would ever come to this, he didn't want their children to fight or get at each other’s throat just for the money. The empire would fall into Robin’s hands if he would want that burden - but that didn't mean their other kids would leave empty-handed.

Maybe it was a little odd thinking about stuff like this so early in their journey as a family. Still, as he stood at his son’s bed and watched Robin’s peaceful sleep, he couldn't quite help it. He was a beautiful little boy with ink-black hair and the same piercing blue eyes as his father. A perfect little mini Oswald and just as clever and mischievous as his father too already. Had someone told him ten years ago that he would find himself in a situation like this, watching over his baby boy’s sleep, he would have laughed. Yet he was here now and the demons of the past finally laid to rest.

He remembered how he had been freaking out the moment their surrogate went into labor. It had been Fish who had pulled him to the sidelines to calm him down in the middle of the hospital, Fish Mooney who still watched over her ragtag group of boys. They had named their son in honor of her lost baby bird that day. It just had seemed right and much more fitting than all the other names they had come up with until the moment they had actually seen him and held him.

Back then, as the moment of the delivery finally came, all his fears had come back crashing down on him. The panic that he might turn out like his own father, that he would be incapable of actually caring for such a fragile little thing as Robin was when he was born. For five whole days, Edward had refused to hold the baby. He remembered the anger that had provoked in his husband. Oswald, for some odd reason, had honestly believed that Edward didn't want to hold him because Robin wasn’t his child. Oh, how wrong he had been. Then again, Oswald had always been a little blind to the things right in front of him.

Yet, as he finally did hold him, sitting down in that very same rocking chair that still stood in one corner of the room and under Oswald’s strict supervision, Ed had been certain he would die, so fast his heart had been racing, so tightly wound his chest had felt. He could have just died at that moment and he would have died happily.

»Well« A voice sounded from the doorway and he didn't need to turn his face to know who was lurking in the door. »I take it the little bird didn't burn down the GCPD today?«

»Has Jim not told you?« Edward chuckled as he finally did turn around to bridge the distance between himself and his husband in long strides. »He stole Harvey’s last donut. He would have gotten away with it too - had it not been for the powdered sugar all over his face. Our son is a hand full.«

»Our son is turning into a criminal already.«

»If he is, we need to teach him how to properly get rid of the evidence quickly. Good thing his dad is a forensic scientist, huh?« Edward chuckled. He loved those moments of reverence each night when the kids were put to sleep and only them still awake. As he cupped Oswald’s face with his hands, the smaller man was quick to tilt his chin upwards so that he could meet him halfway as Edward leaned down for a kiss. They didn't linger for long before they broke apart and quietly closed the door to their son’s room.

»If he keeps it up like this, he lands himself in baby jail under Bullock's watch in no time.« Oswald humored him and took his hand into his own to walk down the corridor.

»Bullock is a softy.« Ed scoffed. »He allowed him to sit on his desk and play with his files the entire day. _The lab is not a place for a two-year-old_ , he said. As if our boy would be a regular two-year-old!«

»Yesterday, he tried to eat his crayons, Eddie. He _is_ a regular two-year-old.«

»So, anyway.« Ed then grinned. »How is Martin settling in so far, what do you think?«

»I think we made the right call.« Oswald hummed as they shortly stopped at the door of their newest arrival. Edward was exceptionally careful as he opened the old wooden door that was so prone to creaking. Having creaky doors and floorboards would come in handy as soon as their kids would develop a habit of sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night. In the half-light of the moon shining into the room, they could see the boy lying in his new bed, fast asleep with one of his new plushies in his arm, a stuffed penguin of all things. His own teddy he had disregarded to the floor.

»I think so too.« Ed murmured. »He is fitting right in here.« In fact, the little boy looked as if he was always meant to sleep in that bed. He was a little shy and yet, the mischievous twinkle in his brown eyes betrayed him sometimes. They took great care not to wake him up as they closed the door again.

It was then that another door opened at the end of the hallway and a shadow slipping out of the room behind the door. Oswald rolled his blue eyes at the sound as he turned away from Ed just for a second. »Go back to bed, Selina.« He sighed and the shadow stopped dead in its tracks. »You can visit Bruce tomorrow. I think Mr. Pennyworth would appreciate it greatly if you would not invade their house at night.«

Their little girl was fifteen at this point and not so little anymore - sadly. Still, she snuck back into her room as if this way she could act as if she had not tried to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. »She is getting better at avoiding the creaky floorboards.« Ed sighed and drove a hand over his face. Having children was much nicer than he would have ever anticipated, though, despite the trouble they sometimes made. Selina was a very spirited independent girl. She had lived on the streets since her mother had abandoned her years ago and only officially been registered in the same orphanage as her friend Ivy. When they found Ivy after the murder on her father and the suicide of her mother, the little girl had refused to go with them if they wouldn't take Selina as well.

He didn't regret the decision and neither did Oswald. Those girls had brought so much love and light into their home. Not to mention that they were fierce big sisters for Robin and certainly Martin as well. Making the decision to adopt children had not happened so spontaneously as Oswald liked to make it sound. It was true that he had read about Ivy Pepper’s tragic loss in the newspapers and decided to visit the orphanage and donate a bunch of old toys and that he had pretty much fallen in love with the little redhead right away. Yet, he knew that the idea of adopting kids who - just like him before he had met his father - weren’t as lucky as others had always lingered in his mind. In a way, they were doing this to honor Fish who had spent so many years taking care of the unwanted and unloved. If it hadn't been for Fish … Well, neither one of them would be here now.

»I should have a stern conversation with Fish.« Oswald muttered. »Clearly, she is teaching Selina a few things here and there.« Not to mention that Selina hung around Fish Mooney’s nightclub a bit too often after school. Then again, Butch was there to keep an eye on her as well.  

»We should just put a bell around her neck.« Ed laughed as they continued their stroll down the hallway to their bedroom. There was still light coming from underneath Ivy’s door but for now, they decided, without even talking to one another, that they would leave her be. At least Ivy was not yet trying to sneak out of the house to meet up with boys but merely reading every book about plants she could get her fingers on.

»You look happy today.« Oswald remarked as they entered their bedroom and closed the door behind them immediately. If anyone would want anything from them they knew where to find them and, as for the girls, they would not hesitate to do so either.

»I am.« Ed smirked and stepped closer towards his husband again to encircle him in his own arms for just a moment. So many years had gone by since he had first found the courage to actually speak to Oswald Cobblepot in the middle of the hallway of their old school and sometimes he wondered what might have been had he never found the courage.

»What do you want now?« Oswald huffed. »I know that look, Edward. You want something.«

»What I want, the poor have, the rich need and when you eat it you die.«

»Nothing.« Oswald rolled his eyes. »And I still don’t like riddles.«

 

**-End of Epilog-**


End file.
